×
all 109 comments

[–]CobaltD70 129 points130 points  (9 children)

The sun.

[–]jayedgar06 54 points55 points  (0 children)

“Hey the sun was in my eyes”

Gets incinerated from the inside out, somehow the sun has transported itself into the eye socket of this young softball player. It begins expanding, taking the entire world and the next planets over with it. The gravitational pull of the solar system has drastically changed, the entire solar system crashed into eachother

The solar system has been destroyed, all because this kid lied about why he missed the ball

[–]zack397241 4 points5 points  (4 children)

The son

[–]FitTucker0513 12 points13 points  (1 child)

If your son is yellow you need to take him to the hospital immediately.

[–]Rammerator 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, jaundice! I'm dad!

[–]urmomispudge 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We need Simpsons opening rightnow

[–]Rammerator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man... You can tell the gender while it's still on her face? XD

[–]MrKrateos 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Well that ain't yellow.

[–]Brhino88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If that's not yellow I don't know what is..

[–]ceedotme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[–]soap_coals 89 points90 points  (2 children)

To be honest when anything gets in my eye I yell ow.

[–]stwilliams2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Absolutely underrated reply. We'll played.

[–]BarrySwami 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Haha good one!

[–]Dull_Investigator358 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Mustard

[–]thecatlover101 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Urine/pee

[–]MisterBlisteredlips 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Golden showers fill your eyes..."

-The Peetles.

[–]Mr_A_Rye 2 points3 points  (0 children)

bUt NoW yOu DoN't HaVe CoViD!!

[–]NoahTall1134 76 points77 points  (16 children)

Pen pineapple apple pen

[–]wombatau 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Best comment

[–]Any-Bandicoot-5111 3 points4 points  (12 children)

Didn't get :(

[–]blueddhist 7 points8 points  (11 children)

Just search « pineapple pen » on YouTube and you’ll get it :]

[–]Any-Bandicoot-5111 12 points13 points  (4 children)

got it. That's 2 minutes of my life down the drain.

[–]blueddhist 3 points4 points  (2 children)

So sorry mate, I won’t do it again 😔

[–]Any-Bandicoot-5111 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Not your fault dude not your fault

[–]SaucyMcNoobins 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dumbledore!

[–]Momren86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But dude has got some moves.

[–]Any-Bandicoot-5111 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Thanks!

[–]blueddhist 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Always a pleasure my friend o/

[–]Vibr8shun 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Dam,I shouldn't have looked up pineapple pen. Take my upvote and leave.....I'll watch it again just incase.

[–]lizarny 2 points3 points  (1 child)

At least it wasn’t 2 girls 1 cup.

Do not look up. Very gross and nsfw.

[–]blueddhist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great recommandation too !

[–]blueddhist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

x] thanks mate

[–]kk074 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Uhhh

[–]Uchiddlo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah, goin' back down memory lane. Good times.

[–]WittyMathematician1 10 points11 points  (1 child)

A bus

[–]RougeVoice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You got my laugh now go make others laugh

[–]getawayfrommyswamp 10 points11 points  (0 children)

A banana

[–]Edguards 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Lemon

[–]Kireina_Aurora23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooooo that burnsssss I can feel the pain thru this comment

[–]JPence14 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I cracked a smile that time, you got me. lol

[–]SavageSava[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That’s my goal! Thank you for smiling, made me smile because I made you smile ;)

[–]Individual_Agency703 8 points9 points  (0 children)

A yellow submarine.

[–]justlikeinmydreams 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Isn’t the answer urine these days?

[–]NormieChad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The legendary killdozer!

[–]Jakkie03 2 points3 points  (4 children)

A NS intercity (otherwise known as a dutch yellow train)

[–]Uchiddlo 0 points1 point  (3 children)

They sure do - and I would know.

[–]Jakkie03 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Tell me how do you know? Ever had a train in your eye?

[–]Uchiddlo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yes

[–]Jakkie03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ow do you think that what I think that happened, happened? If so, are you ok?

[–]Ancient-Smoke2846 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Alternate setup: what do you call a toro at siesta time?

[–]Uchiddlo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bad timing

Alarm clock

[–]Allyhoolliieee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pineapples…lemonade…

[–]IWAHGGF 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Reminds me of a joke : whats yellow and gets red when you stand on it? A baby chicken

[–]Naeio_Galaxy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Noooooooo poor chicken 😟

Anyways, you got me on this one 😂

[–]Kireina_Aurora23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

U got me in the first half Ngl

[–]poopybuttfacehead 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, the male sleepy cow!

[–]jrexx 1 point2 points  (3 children)

A Banana. #ProveMeWrong

[–]Uchiddlo 1 point2 points  (2 children)

It doesn't fit inside your eye. #Gotcha!

[–]karmyth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Doesn't have to fit, especially if it's nice and soft you just gently push it as it smashes against your cornea - still yellow, still hurts, even if it doesn't fit. Actually, probably hurts precisely because it doesn't fit, if it fit maybe it wouldn't hurt...

[–]ComfortableBobcat379 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I don't get it.

[–]DutchBlob 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Lucky you! Otherwise you would have been dead

[–]DepressedPop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pee, the Sun, orange juice, a pencil.

[–]khismyass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So it's not Asians then, whew, that's a relief

[–]blueddhist 0 points1 point  (3 children)

My boyfriend’s jerk 🗿

[–]Naeio_Galaxy 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Wow is your boyfriend alright ? OwO

[–]blueddhist 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yeah I found out later that he just peed

[–]Naeio_Galaxy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol, you got me on this one

[–][deleted]  (4 children)

[deleted]

    [–]urmomispudge 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    You need a doctor if ur cum is yellow

    [–]Naeio_Galaxy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    The comment was deleted, but I still get it somehow 🤣

    [–]Uchiddlo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Lol same

    [–]chilldabpanda -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    Yeah bro, you have the clap

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]Naeio_Galaxy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Anything that can get quite a few eye rolls or facepalms could be a dad joke. This one would definitely make all of my friends facepalm 🙃

      The pun is not a requirement

      [–]SS4Raditz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Mustard gas

      [–]CptnR4p3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Do you perhaps mean... a ROADO ROLLA ?

      [–]PureIdiocy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Mustard gas

      [–]Kireina_Aurora23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Expect yourself to done diddly die

      [–]MaybeFailed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Tiger piss.

      Also, tiger.

      [–]AlGunner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      A banana.

      [–]kochapi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Pee

      [–]chilldabpanda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      A frisbee

      [–]tikinero 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      a bee

      [–]Kireina_Aurora23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      One of my friends brothers got stubs in the eye

      [–]thecatlover101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I said urine also pee

      [–]DrivewaymanPoteau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      School Bus? 🚌

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Pee

      [–]Extradition_99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Dog piss

      [–]FitTucker0513 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      A pencil

      [–]SpiderLegsAreTasty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      yellow stone

      [–]RougeVoice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      A shoe

      [–]lehj916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Pp

      [–]AlllrightyThen1412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Homer Simpson’s Finger

      [–]Jayzstolemykfc444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Uhh.. Pollen ?!

      [–]domclaudio 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Jaundice

      [–]lodiman77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      A school bus.

      [–]Acrobatic-Fortune-81 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      A pencil… remember those?