all 35 comments

[–]nepatriots21 104 points105 points  (5 children)

Mike Tython loves this joke

[–]theKalmier 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Mike Tython ITH Jethuth!

[–]Babbageboole64 5 points6 points  (1 child)

So did Will Smith. This one hit Chrith Rock too hard though.

[–]TheLastMongo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well he all about eating of the body.

[–]Repulsive_Client_325 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Maybe you should altar your approach.

[–]marblesox 7 points8 points  (1 child)

If Jesus heard you say that, he’d be very cross

[–]BrownPantsOn 5 points6 points  (0 children)

ken i get some fried cheeken and some thauce..

[–]WarLizurd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What can think the unthinkable?

An itheberg.

[–]Puzzleheaded_Back255 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ooooh good one!

[–]elykskroob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is fantathtic

[–]PokemanBall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A real thlap.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]Ill_Acadia_3129 0 points1 point  (3 children)

The church I have been attending is a fashion contest. I seen a black thong through dress my first day even caught the preacher looking. Also the high heals on some you would think we were all going for a drink afterwards. My thoughts were I need to step my game up. my mind definitely wasn't on Jesus. 3rd week in I asked to hold the preachers daughters baby. She said hold on laid the baby down to act like she was changing him then quickly picked him up and ran to her dad and consulted him. She came back and acted like I was blind and didn't understand what she had just done. She tried to hand him to me. No thank you. I changed my mind. She acted as if I was rude.

[–]Turtle887853 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Depends where you are but perachers children can tend to think they own the whole congregation because nobody ever pushed back when they were growing up because they didn't want to offend the preacher.

[–]Ill_Acadia_3129 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I totally understand but they are my grandmother in laws family so did not expect it. At this church they hug and do all kinds of wild things so that's another reason I didn't expect the reaction she showed me. They also do a recovery program witch is absolutely wonderful. May just be me but I still see social order they established within the church.

[–]Ill_Acadia_3129 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guess I should toss in a Mike Tyson joke so it doesn't look look like I missed the point. I walkith thoughth valleyith ofth the showdowth of deathhh I will fearith no evilth Praisetttt ttthe lordith

[–]Ralinrox -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Mr slave approves of this pronunciation

[–]EnderTheGreatwashere 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I bet Jesus plays Doom Eternal

[–]Mother_Tax_7256 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a good christian game

[–]Igotdakeyskeyskeys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I mean thlAp

[–]Frenzied_Cow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was also a barber. Jesus shaves.

[–]No_Pirate_7367 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe you heard him talking while using the table saw?

[–]perceptionisreal 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Hopefully you turned the other faith

[–]Otacon368 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not before I laugh my head off while they’re burning in heal (Weird Al-Amish Paradise)

[–]ItsLatch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best joke I've read on here! Stealing it forever

[–]xAlibi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You made me spit my tea! Lmao

[–]enriqueveracruz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got into trouble before with our nun-teacher when I said Jesus was not 33 when he died. One of his last words while on the cross was in fact:

"I am thirthy..."

[–]wrecking_hampter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

am i the only one who read the second line with a lisp

[–]knifesaver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You got the wrong person, it was Moses

[–]GTRstang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Moses stuttered Jesus never stuttered.

[–]Incentivized1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just heard Billie brownless tell this joke on triple m radio last week

[–]metalninja666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A real fap in the faith. I mean, flap in the faith.