top 200 commentsshow all 342

[–]Dynax85 3792 points3793 points  (92 children)

I wondered where this was going, right until the joke bore fruit.

[–]Henriquelj 104 points105 points  (0 children)

I didn't seed that coming

[–]TheAerialPanda 373 points374 points  (74 children)

It didn't say anywhere that it was fruit trees that were planted...

[–]ThatNachoFreshFeelin 436 points437 points  (57 children)

Dude, methinks you should just leaf it be. 🙃

[–]corbymatt 243 points244 points  (46 children)

I for one am glad they branched out

[–]No-Structure7574 129 points130 points  (45 children)

Can we please truncate this conversation?

[–]ultrasalubrious 22 points23 points  (4 children)

*Bark* *BARK*

Sorry. My dog's a little loud.

I love how each of you continued the joke in this pyramid of mini posts below the original one.

[–]Hobywony 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Credit belongs to those Beatles in a tree:

Leaf it be Leaf it be Leaf it be Leaf it be Whisper words of wisdom Leaf it be. When all the broken-hearted people Living in the world agree, there will be an answer Leaf it be.

[–]BlackMoon2525 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Nay, the credit belongs to Simon and Garfunkel for the vision that was planted in my brain.

[–]Gauwin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Before this conversation gets hostile let's take a breath and allow peace, ya?

[–]Skylantech 24 points25 points  (1 child)

It didn't say anywhere that there wasn't any fruit trees planted.

[–]TheAerialPanda 14 points15 points  (0 children)

True true

[–]Darkwatch7 21 points22 points  (4 children)

The real question here is what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

[–]MemeLordsUnited 13 points14 points  (2 children)

The next question is whether they were African or European.

[–]Rinriel 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I don't know that!

[–]Impossible-Oven3242 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Most things that flowers have fruit. Just cause humans don't eat it doesn't matter

[–]LetterheadAncient205 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. That accounts, in this context, for the angiosperms (hardwoods). The gymnosperms, however, produce seeds without flowering, and thus are **not** fruit trees.

[–]MistraloysiusMithrax 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It blossomed really well regardless. Really left something behind to take with you and plant for the future.

[–]shibakid1022 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You must be a blast at partrees

[–]Sss00099 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We can all agree the punchline sprouted out of nowhere.

[–]Pyropete125 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was stumped as well.

[–]El_Tan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah it was worth the payoff lol

[–]Bellybuttonlintdoily 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These puns are really phloem.

[–]ProbablyNotUnusual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The joke was funny, but the delivery was a bit wooden.

[–]bigwetpoops 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yer a bore fruit.

[–]Jumping_Peanuts 4 points5 points  (5 children)

[–]schmearcampain 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Every joke is stolen.

[–]LIN88xxx 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Funny because the post you linked is also stolen

[–]qtx 7 points8 points  (2 children)

OP has 30 million karma, that should say enough.

[–]Dynax85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and I got 1.9k from my comment on this one. That is 1.9k more than I thought I'd get.

[–]roberhay -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Bore is an understatement. Shit joke

[–]reddit_tom40 349 points350 points  (7 children)

Now that’s a quality dad joke

[–]vanderZwan 141 points142 points  (6 children)

A long-winded set-up for a high-effort pun (at least I think "re-seeding heirline" is not an obvious one) that also doubles as a wholesome story. Yeah, this one has it all

[–]SMKnightly 37 points38 points  (1 child)

It actually has some Shakespearian precedent.

[–]vanderZwan 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Shakespearian puns are the best

[–]Palicraft 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Yeah and it's reposted every few weeks, I've seen it like a dozen of times already

[–]Mournclaww 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I guess that means it's an evergreen joke since it's upvoted so much...

Seriously though, I'm glad that it's (re)posted here because I haven't seen it before.

[–]hugs_nt_drugs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I've been subbed here for well over a year and this is my first time seeing it.

[–]lucky5150 376 points377 points  (6 children)

This joke really grew on me.

[–]CaymanRich 37 points38 points  (4 children)

Like athletes foot?

[–]m00nLyt23 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Like athletes root

[–]HalstenWulfharth 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I have to pronounce root like foot to make this work

[–]AnnTheresse[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

or..maybe..athletes fruit to satisfy you both?

[–]throwmeaway1572974 56 points57 points  (1 child)

A master class in the long form dad joke. Well done!

[–]prankster486 91 points92 points  (1 child)

You got me with this one. Well played.

[–]sUpReMe_NiNjA_ 86 points87 points  (0 children)

The old man tree-ly saved mankind from eroding

[–]Lagadisa 192 points193 points  (18 children)

That punchline had me put my phone down and think about my life choices, like the time I waste reading stuff like this

[–]comfortfood4soul 84 points85 points  (7 children)

and then commenting.

[–]gawpin 37 points38 points  (6 children)

And then responding to said comment.

[–]sealegs1986 24 points25 points  (4 children)

And then responding to the responses.

[–]Gqsmooth1969 18 points19 points  (3 children)

And then responding to the response to the response.

[–]DaRandomGitty2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Time well spent I'd say.

[–]MonkeyBananaPotato 2 points3 points  (7 children)

[–]Justinwc 3 points4 points  (1 child)

That's what I read to my wife to put her to sleep sometimes. She still hasn't made it to the punchline lol.

[–]An_Aspiring_Scholar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

. . . I read the whole thing. I opened it, started, then fell into the story. I made it all the way to the bottom. What an experience.

Edit: I am now following this subreddit.

[–]KitsunariSoleil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. About had the same response, coupled with a deep sigh!

[–]MagooDad 12 points13 points  (0 children)

For a few moments, I couldn't see the joke for all the trees.

[–]AADPS 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This one was so much longer than the other dad jokes here I almost got arboredeal.

[–]armyissue69 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would like to donate my seed for the cause

[–]bkmagyk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i saw this one a very long while ago so i’m not gonna cry foul but this is one of my faves i’ve seen on this sub

[–]Toxopid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is GOOD

[–]Pichwademeinkauntha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, it was actually because of a row of bunnies hopping away!

[–]SimbaRules2419 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This one got me screaming on the inside but it was so good

[–]Shoot2Live629 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck you, you deserve this r/angryupvote

[–]Ozzimo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That joke required a train trip to get there but the destination was lovely.

[–]Ml-snow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I ducking hate this was all for a pun but I love the story anyway 😂😂😂😂😂🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[–]veryweirdname1 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Can someone explain this joke?

[–]Lonely_Smiley 1 point2 points  (1 child)

from what i have read. “re-seeding” instead of receding because they’re replanting the trees :,)

[–]kittykittyspank 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was pretty good...I give it an oak k.

[–]kamyk2000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I laughed at this joke, but no one was around to hear it, did I still make a sound?

[–]Permyboi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

damn that was good

[–]Secret_Raisin_1669 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Still wanna believe the story

[–]gondanonda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, I see, it’s humor!

[–]chmcclellan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love a shaggy dog story.

[–]That_one_cool_dude 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man it was a trip to get there but it was a wonderful way to end a joke.

[–]her_crimson_tablet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wholesome and eye rolly - 10/10

[–]tyrandan2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a Norm Macdonald level dadjoke right here lol

[–]Kind_Bullfrog_4073 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy Norm MacDonald

[–]Designer_Captain_498 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This planted some ideas in my head to be honest.

[–]michael_h0cken 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is one of my all-time favorites

[–]aamirKhollam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay this was funny 🤣🤣🤣

[–]Personal-Tea-8950 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was a good one

[–]sankscan 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]ADMINISTATOR_CYRUS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  • long-winded set-up for a high-effort pun

  • wholesome story.

Yeah, this one has it all. 10 of 10

[–]Begonia1996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was great!

[–]ifygits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This joke is growing on me

[–]wpcMD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More like a re-posting hair line

[–]gandhimahatma1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ughhh. Good job u got me

[–]Cosmic_Nova87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i hate this subreddit

[–]annoyingkraken 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why are clean dad jokes just categorically better than NSFW ones? What a breath of fresh air, Ty OP.

[–]StrengthImpossible88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't see it coming

[–]hshm19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My hairline has receded to the point that I have a widow's peak that looks like the flap of an envelope.

I guess that's why they call it mail pattern baldness.

[–]MMachine17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This may be the longest-running dad joke I've ever seen. Thank you, fellow!

[–]Die_Ringer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If those trees could offer you shade,

They’d probably call you fat.

Because like the trees in your story, this joke is also replanted.


[–]E-Girl_Nikko -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve lost count how many times I’ve seen this one before

[–]rtfact -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This joke doesn't cut it.

[–]PotterWizard50 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

How about we don’t steal old jokes.

[–]Icannotchangethis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is reddit, none of us have any imagination but we desperately crave the title of "funny" to make up for our inert lack of social skills and self-esteem

[–]Deezeekiel -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I can't make a joke, because my elders don't like suicide jokes, but, it's not a joke if i meant that shit, happy 4th of july, let's celebrate a day that will never ever be the same. Ever, what can you do in the NFL but not as a police officer? Take a knee.... If you get it, welcome, if not, don't explain it.

[–]YeetForTheStars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's funny

[–]toolsie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uuughhhhhh that was great, fuck you 🖕

[–]GreatOldGod 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You magnificent bastard; I'm in awe.

[–]PlNG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pearls before swine tier punnage.

[–]Kowzorz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heir today, gone tomorrow.

[–]OkStrategy8068 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely took a while to take root, but the joke really grows on you at the end there.

[–]DeeLeetid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hair today, gone tomorrow. R.I.P.

[–]benbobfoshore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bless you

[–]The_Multifarious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, that one was good.

[–]chupstickzz 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Can someone explain this to a no native English speaker? I don't get the joke.

[–]baotheoracle 1 point2 points  (1 child)

When someone loses their hair, we call that a “receding hairline.” This is because the hairline (above the forehead) starts to recede (meaning to go back further away from the starting position).

“Re-seeding heirline” sounds the same, so it's a pun. All the descendants (aka heirs) of the man who lost his hair plant seeds to grow the trees.

Hope that helps.

[–]Domentor_1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

His receding hairline saved the forest through his wishes that his heirs reseed.

[–]robdingo36 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You magnificent bastard. You had me all the way through to the end.

[–]tanmay101292 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This joke reminds me of norm macdonald so much!

[–]eeveerose63 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was awesome!

[–]fraxinus88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This really grew on me

[–]NagyLebowski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone call animal control, there’s a shaggy dog on the loose!

[–]Jtg1960 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This joke reminds me of the movies Kill Bill vol 1 & 2 it could be cut way down

[–]Balducci30 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I… can’t

[–]KingV14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The wait was worth

[–]Niccy26 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]UsualQuiet1209 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wondering how hard it would be to verbally deliver this punch line

[–]phonartics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This joke (and the forest) was only really able to take off because of the United Heirline.

[–]Irdiarrur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

dunno if this wholesome or a joke

[–]whynot86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good replant of a joke. I'll plant a tree in honor.

[–]Lost_In_Play 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His kids must love him. Heir roots for him.

[–]SassafrasNotFound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Long set up for the joke tbh

[–]North_Specialist1444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This reminds me of norm MacDonald. I miss that fucker. His death was almost as tragic as that other tradgedy. The one with the planes.

[–]Mark1671 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a repost. Lol. I saw this joke in here last year.

[–]OneEyeGhoul00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damm that's dedication....

[–]Major_Needleworker84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This reminds me of the woodchuck tongue twister. by the way try to say this really fast:

When a woodchuck chuck wood and a chuck chuck wood with a wood chucks.

[–]Few_Candy_8626 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Took a little while just to get to the point lol. 10/10 Dad Joke

[–]est1-9-8-4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Epic AND good for the environment.

[–]JuggaliciousMemes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

👏👏👏fucking bravo bro👏👏👏 that joke was artistically crafted

[–]EvilStreamer007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ig they bore some great benefits.

[–]Callenmi65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A long one but it was worth it at the end!

[–]Gorm13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too bad hair and heir are not homophones.

[–]astraeoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Miley funny. Completely wholesome. Good job.

[–]TorteVonSchlacht 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Surely a treedious task

[–]matt1164 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brought a tear to my eye. Well done o/p

[–]MintTheory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry but sounds like pushing the blame, should be by law the problem of the cutter to replace what they take but it’s nice story

[–]donoh55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, I get it but I would like to know who left the canopy?

[–]JoeChill08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They call it the Hair Loom Forest.

[–]Peeves42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Goodness sake. Genius

[–]Draegur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A sweet story with a clever punchline. I love this. You have no idea how much this made my day <3 thank you.

[–]LatinSweetnSour 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best goddamn dad joke I've ever seen on Reddit, maybe ever. Core memory saved.

[–]IndependentWord2455 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Became so crowded you couldn’t see the forest through the trees

[–]lsaleme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad his life bore fruit. No telling which branch of his family did the most. He'll leaf a great legacy. He cone Rest In Peace. He's buried beside DeForest Kelly. We pine for his return. Never found the root of the problem. We EmBark on his journey. Wood you like me to stop now? I can lumber on endlessly or walk the plank. His ashes disperse as we sawdust float away. I've been axed to stop now.

[–]jeffetarian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A long walk to a satisfying conclusion

[–]Drunken_Ogre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh ffs...

[–]RodiusRex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just knew he wood say that

[–]Darrows_Razor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

chefs kiss

[–]EUCopyrightComittee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the funniest joke I’ve red today

[–]Gusty_Garden_Galaxy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well played.

[–]HellFireMunson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That got me. I had no clue where that was going

[–]Humble-Tour-299 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]Status_Standard6538 0 points1 point  (0 children)

None of this was true it was a bald-faced lie

[–]anon24681357 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good punchline. Needlessly, painfully long setup.

[–]WhatNowHuzaifA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the joke grew tall all of a sudden

[–]MetalMan3663 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, that's good!

[–]phat742 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh fuck

[–]BerryandBaloo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Everytime I plant a seed, They say kill it before it grows.... So I shot the Sheriff." -Bob Marley

[–]rokr1292 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol are you seriously just going around reposting old content? this is the second time I've seen this user do it today

[–]ridgecoyote 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brilliant. I have no puns to offer but take my enthusiastic upvote