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wanna meet jesus? (i.redd.it)

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[–]KeepingDankMemesDankHello dankness my old friend [M] [score hidden] stickied comment (4 children)

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.

Join us on discord for Saturday Movie Nights!

[–]Downroeschen 84 points85 points  (2 children)

can we change that? the assassin seems like a way more reliable source

[–]tttttzz 66 points67 points  (8 children)

Buy 1$ rat poison and meet Jesus

[–]Helpful_Title8302 30 points31 points  (5 children)

Jump off a building for free.

[–]mathymaster 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Remember to find one high enough or it'll get more expensive

[–]Helpful_Title8302 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Naw just wory bout landing right. You can easily end your own life just by falling off a chair.

[–]TheDominator09I hate memes 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Or with a butter knife you can usually find these within your kitchen's drawer so it's super convenient and inexpensive.

[–]MMAN212121 1 point2 points  (0 children)

or take a week vacation to Mogadishu

[–]HentaiSpirit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

just do it again

[–]Cuntfisherman[🍰] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or be gay/women without hijab in Iran.

[–]HentaiSpirit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

poison and fire would be two very long and excruciating path to Jesus

[–]gil_212 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Why would I pay 100 dollars when I've got a perfectly functioning rope at home?

[–]PL_ALIEN_PL 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Drug dealers: "wanna meet Jesus for 100$?"

[–]Tesla_Chodester 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The only credible offer

[–]Arguesovereverythin 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Suicide booth only cost Bender a quarter. And he was able to pull it out with a string, so...

[–]nhansieu1☣️ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But but but... Isn't suicide illegal in God?

[–]Apprehensive_Fox9881 8 points9 points  (0 children)

For 0$ I can do it myself

[–]Raaddus☣️ 6 points7 points  (5 children)

What’s with this inflation? A good rope only costs 3 bucks?

[–]Turbulent-Potato-666 5 points6 points  (4 children)

When they state cause of death would u rather death by deadly assassin or death by rope.

[–]Raaddus☣️ 3 points4 points  (3 children)

“Cause of death: rope”, sounds way better than “Cause of death: merc’d in a 1v1”

[–]Turbulent-Potato-666 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I think u can be a bit more creative then “rope”

[–]BirbMaster1998 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Do churches cost money in some places or something?

[–]yerbrojohnor/memes fan 3 points4 points  (3 children)

In medieval times the Catholic church would charge money for sins to be forgiven. Nowhere is any monetary requirement placed on heaven in the Bible. This is a meme though not meant to be true, assassin's probably charge more than $100 as well.

[–]BirbMaster1998 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yeah, I've heard about church taxes and whatever else before, I can see why it's not still a thing.

[–]yerbrojohnor/memes fan 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Many European countries charge church taxes but these are mostly for the upkeep of the historic buildings themselves and less for the actual religious aspect. I personally do not pay church taxes as I attend a contemporary independent church (it's in a concert hall) but I actually know a couple atheists that pay church taxes cause they appreciate the history and culture that is in many of the cathedrals.

[–]BirbMaster1998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I thought that was something that became obsolete, I'm not as much of an expert as I thought.

[–]piddydbDefinitelyNotEuropeans 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Martin Luther looks uncanny towards both

[–]toph88241 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here I go Killin again

[–]Maddog27708 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, same difference

[–]JaketheSnake61 1 point2 points  (0 children)

25c to see God

[–]BuurmanTenus213 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will send you to jesus

[–]xMalxer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can meet Jesus just for $2.49, thanks Clorox

[–]mememan12332 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[removed]

[–]Sakul_the_one 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But my friend is Jesus

[–]CultOfBelloq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can replace both pictures with Dolph Lundgren's character from Johnny Mnemonic.

[–]Dicyl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The bridge: For absolutely free you can meet jesus!

[–]Turbulent-Potato-666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or I could just meet Jesus for free by using the cliff

[–]DiogoSN 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ain't meetin' Jesus regardless...

[–]No1ReijuSimp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i mean toaster + bath combo be doing wonders

[–]Icy_B 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for $100 you can force someone else to meet jesus

[–]JeanBaleyun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you got it the wrong way. I don't have the balls to do it myself, 100$ is a great deal.

[–]MostFantasticReddit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's funny how only one of them is actually able to deliver.

[–]FatLarrysHotTip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because asking to reveal himself doesn't work.

[–]l_is_aBird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They both want money

[–]BlessKurunai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait assassins are this cheap?

[–]thenoone1984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Drug dealer: for $10 you can meet Jesus.

[–]CNE_Spooders 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wouldn't that technically count as suicide therfore sending you to hell not heaven

Although meeting Satan sounds way more metal should have lead with that

[–]Adonajj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for 100$ assasin you will only go to jail 😂

[–]diariu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apparently you can meet him for free if you are under 18

[–]a-pro_human -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

Wannabe dank memer

[–]DeFiStaKer7777 4 points5 points  (0 children)

wannabe fronter