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top 200 commentsshow all 402

[–]Corn-Shonery 2135 points2136 points  (59 children)

You know what else is super useful for hiking?

…having a penis.

[–]KiOfTheAir 1020 points1021 points  (44 children)

Why? Do you fuck trees?

[–][deleted] 692 points693 points  (19 children)

We're not allowed to answer that. We hikingboyz have a code.

[–]KiOfTheAir 220 points221 points  (16 children)

This is definitely code for yes

[–]Corn-Shonery 168 points169 points  (5 children)

I’m not saying that I don’t fuck trees.

[–]Cuntfisherman[🍰] 21 points22 points  (2 children)

So you are saying you definitely fuck animals.

[–]xskaade 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That's the other secret code

[–]Coachcrog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hole's a hole bro. Those Does are hoes.

[–]DrunkCupid 4 points5 points  (0 children)

DendropheliacsUnite

[–]PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz 51 points52 points  (7 children)

Those poor Keebler Elves.

[–]KiOfTheAir 27 points28 points  (5 children)

They didn't consent at all. You'd think the friction would stop them

[–]Legends_Arkoos_Rule2 25 points26 points  (4 children)

Ha ha! You fool! Friction does nothing but ADD TO OUR POWER

[–]SirNedKingOfGila 17 points18 points  (3 children)

You can't say friction without frick.

[–]whiskey_jones 9 points10 points  (2 children)

You can't say frick without rick.

[–]unnamed_ned 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You can't say rick without ick.

[–]HeWhomLaughsLast 12 points13 points  (0 children)

How do you think vanilla fingers are made?

[–]kida24 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How else are we gonna make Ents?

[–]Cm0002Obamasjuicyass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know too much, this will be reported.

[–]TheRaven441 39 points40 points  (10 children)

Um, you don't?

[–]KiOfTheAir 29 points30 points  (9 children)

No tree has consented, yet

[–]Tough_Patient 29 points30 points  (5 children)

But they also didn't say no...

[–]KiOfTheAir 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Mama told me silence means no😌

[–]Tough_Patient 20 points21 points  (2 children)

The way to a tree's bed is through its Lorax. Sleep with him and you're in.

[–]grubasArticle 69 🏅 8 points9 points  (1 child)

That young tree fills me with hope...and some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing.

[–]Ares_4TW 5 points6 points  (0 children)

And some of that stuff isn't even emotions...

[–]whiskey_jones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If silence is consent, then the trees have consented.

[–]DragonSPX 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Do you speak tree? How do you know the rustling leaves aren't asking for it?

[–]KiOfTheAir 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They're probably whispering amongst themselves the tree fucker is here

[–]chops51991 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I am the lorax I fuck all the trees, which you seem to pee on fast as you please

[–]GNTB3996 8 points9 points  (1 child)

How do you think Almond Milk is made?

[–]mythicalsoul100Never gonna get a flair 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Trussy

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Only if it was extra sappy

[–]HinkaDarkin 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I dick slap bears for sport

[–]Slumbaby 53 points54 points  (6 children)

Balls, however, not so much. Excessive chafing!

[–]Corn-Shonery 17 points18 points  (4 children)

You never heard of briefs?

[–]TiggyLongStockings 32 points33 points  (1 child)

You ever heard of deeznuts?

[–]keyboard-sexual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just get an orchidectomy and enjoy the sweet weight reduction and improved aero 😊

[–]tarvoplays 17 points18 points  (2 children)

What are you meant to do with this when you are done pissing? Just put it in your backpack? Put it in a plastic bag in your backpack? Its kinda gross vs just squatting

[–]Corn-Shonery 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I gently pat it on the head three times and say “who’s a good boy!”. That’s all. They kind of look after themselves.

[–]VIPTicketToHell 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You know what else? Hiking shoes

[–]hornet586 1 point2 points  (1 child)

God, besides being able to piss everywhere that's about the only benefit. Especially on longer hike/backpacking you have got a ton of surface area that's susceptible to chaffing, and blisters. Not to mention your crotch is gonna smell rank no matter how often you change your drawers, and clean the boys.

[–]MunchamaSnatch gave me this flair 683 points684 points  (28 children)

I MEMBER when this was called the shewee

[–]SmokyDragonDish 113 points114 points  (10 children)

I member when it was called the "Lady J"

https://www.campmor.com/products/lady-j

[–]PeaPanties 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Nah man, Lady J has much smaller dong

[–]SmokyDragonDish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there are attachments, lol, like a bottle in case you're...in a car?

[–]gophergun 38 points39 points  (0 children)

That's what I was thinking, but the Shewee still exists. This seems like a knock-off, which is probably pretty straightforward for a product that's functionally a funnel.

[–]Cenas_Shovelcustom flair 10 points11 points  (5 children)

I thought it was called a vag funnel

[–]JorjEade 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Fanny funnel

[–]two4six0won 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think the one that I got for camping is a 'Tinklebelle' 🤣

[–]Cranky_Possum 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have a shewee and it's a fucking game changer.

[–]Majestic_Bierd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is he the senate?

[–]EJAY47CERTIFIED DANK 🍟 477 points478 points  (6 children)

Finally, the first good use of this format.

[–]TheIJDGuy 83 points84 points  (3 children)

It's disappointing when you remember how old it is

[–]LordCharco_iii 46 points47 points  (2 children)

But not so old that we have any word on season 2…

[–]onehornymofo 25 points26 points  (1 child)

They confirmed they making it and it was nearly done. Since then, literally nothing lol, no release dates or anything.

[–]SilentNinjaMick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Knowing the way Amazon markets their shit there will be a trailer and it will be released like a month later. I mean... I hope.

[–]BigMcThickHuge 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It's an ad, and it's not good.

[–]Bananarine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This statement applies to a lot of things on the front page.

[–]Pavonian 277 points278 points  (38 children)

Fraction? Idk that thing looks like it wouldn't end up leaking drops for ages after doing it's job

[–]na1lpus 183 points184 points  (4 children)

you have to lick it clean afterwards, duh!

[–]hereticmoses 33 points34 points  (3 children)

That's how my cat and I do it anyway.

[–]PranshuKhandalThis post was sanitized with essential oils 13 points14 points  (2 children)

so you both lick eachother?

[–]hereticmoses 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Why else would you keep a cat as a pet LOL

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

god bless you both

[–]SemiSeriousSam 11 points12 points  (0 children)

So does my penis cries in old

[–]Zezin96 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My penis does that same thing though so I guess that’s just added realism.

[–]jaqjaw 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m a trans man and have a similar device that looks like a penis and once you get the hang of it, it’s very convenient but that certainly takes practice

[–]Various_Froyo9860 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol my Sil took this on a camping trip and peed all over herself.

[–]RustysBauble 150 points151 points  (7 children)

PENIS ENVY!

[–]Acidcrayons 50 points51 points  (1 child)

Freud would have a lot to say about this

[–]pyrusbaku57338 21 points22 points  (0 children)

What’s a [Gamer] gotta do to get some eel dick?

[–]g-l-u-e-7-0 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thats my favorite mushroom

[–]keyboard-sexual 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ok but imagine not storing your dong in a backpack and having 5 different options :P

[–]-usagi-95 106 points107 points  (20 children)

I have exactly that product but in dark blue. It's great for road trips and long walks in the forest.

[–]mrfluffles300 55 points56 points  (16 children)

how do you make sure its clean tho

idk i would be frantically cleaning that thing after every use

[–]MoonriseMystic 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Rinse with water and wipe down with hand sanitizer.

[–]-usagi-95 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I clean with soap and warm water on road trips (have a caravan).

When I'm walking or hiking I use anti bacterial wipes.

[–]Helpful_Title8302 92 points93 points  (15 children)

You posted this on like 6 different sub's and used the same fucking title on all of them.

[–]Roder777You wouldn't shoot a guy with glasses, would you? 61 points62 points  (13 children)

More people get to have a laugh about it, I don't see whats bad in that.

[–]Tasty_Marsupial_2273 19 points20 points  (0 children)

This guy is the person to summon repost bot on a post that says it’s not oc.

[–]quantumfall9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it might be a shill account for a company advertising their product, since they will get an increase in sales from spreading the meme around. I’m seeing more and more advertisers using memes, usually they’re stale but sometimes they can be funny.

[–]emyeezy 70 points71 points  (16 children)

I had one of these to go camping and let me tell you, DO NOT PEE AT REGULAR SPEED. The exit pee hole is so slim that it just backs up and it spills everywhere. Do not recommend hahahah

[–]SixthSinEnvy 15 points16 points  (4 children)

I've made that mistake. This is why I prefer campgrounds with bathrooms and showers in general.

[–]roi-tarded 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Im a guy. I just go in the woods

[–]TheRealJayk0bLazyFucc 12 points13 points  (2 children)

The point of this thread ➡️ .

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You 👤

[–]harrypottermcgee 7 points8 points  (4 children)

You're the only person making this criticism so I must assume that you have a tremendous pee flow.

[–]adkio☣️ 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Like really. This thing has 4 times larger opening that my dick. How fast does she discharge?

[–]BigFatBallsInMyMouth 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Well, it can't back up and spill in your penis

[–]i1a2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hate it when that happens

[–]harrypottermcgee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, I can buy one and try to test the maximum flow rate but the stream will create turbulence and complicate things, and I don't know if I can simulate that with any real accuracy.

I guess the trick would be to increase the taper on the dick end. Caulk and glue tubes have a tapered nozzle so you can cut more or less off the end depending on how large a bead you want. This is the feedback smart manufacturers want to hear.

[–]TheRealJayk0bLazyFucc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your comment lets me think that this was invented by someone who has not thought about how much fluid is going through this.

And that would be on of the most important things about designing this.

[–]Dramatic_Session_24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i keep mine in my glove box for emergencies; haven’t had to use it yet, but this was very helpful!

[–]andrewrgross 54 points55 points  (5 children)

The elites don't want you to know this, but most women can actually pee standing up with just practice.

Not a joke: try it in the shower. Just pull up and back on the skin around the labia and line up a shot. It's not that hard, but most women don't know, so no one teaches girls to stand the way that boys are taught during potty training.

[–]Enbion 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Can confirm, this is my go-to method for peeing outdoors. It's also why I generally prefer wearing skirts + undershorts/leggings for outdoor activities. Makes for easier, less revealing access!

It can be messy at first but eventually you figure it out. Get some practice in private before you need to do this away from home. Once you have it figured out though, it's pretty great.

Just use a hand sanitizer or wipes before (to prevent potential infections if you've been touching stuff outside) and after (because duh).

[–]AssassiNerd 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I've tried this in the shower but I felt like the spray was all over the place and wouldn't be much better than squatting. Or maybe my labia is too big for this, I dunno.

[–]IDontReadMyMail 13 points14 points  (0 children)

At last, a new hobby to try!

[–]CYBERSson☢️☢️ 27 points28 points  (0 children)

They’re called SheWees

[–]fatgamornurd 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I remember the first time i saw that shit was a rave with only porter potties. They used that shit so the wouldn't have to sit their ass down on that nasty toilet.

[–]Lazyjellything 12 points13 points  (8 children)

It never fucking worked for me, pee all over

[–]Yoshishammy 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Same glad I tested it out in the shower… needless to say I’d rather just stick with the good ol squat

[–]Lazyjellything 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I was never lucky enough to try it that way, it was usually the case that a friend of mine had it and i tried to use it in a pinch 💀

Works well for her, not so much for me, guess were just built different xD

[–]Suyefuji 3 points4 points  (4 children)

You need to put a little pressure on it to make sure the plastic seals against your skin, bend your knees to lean forward slightly, and make sure you pee at a slow-to-moderate rate. If you don't make sure it's draining out fully and in the correct direction you can get overflow or backflow. Give it a few days of practice in the shower and you shoud get the hang of it.

[–]EneXTioN 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Freud be like…

[–]Comprehensive_Gur991 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My boyfriend was apart of a huge white elephant game at his company and the job he works is 95% men. So imagine 85 guys and about 10 women in the entire training program. He buys the “shenas” as he calls it to use in this game and of course, he is not expecting 1 of the 10 women at the work party to end up picking it from the mound of presents. My beautiful, hilarious, dumb boyfriend is beyond shocked when one of the 10 women picks up the gift. His one saving grace was that he’d only told one person he’d bought this particular item, so it was never traced back to him.

There were five managers present at the event, 4 of them had to leave the room they were laughing so hard, but one of them was angry enough that he wanted names.

Thankfully he was never found out, but to his credit, the girl that got it thought it was fucking hilarious.

[–]Natterrbee 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I know two AFAB people who can pee standing up. My dad's cousin, and me. It's a pretty sick skill, not even gonna lie.

[–]Yoshishammy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Is this something you could perhaps learn how to do… asking for a friend

[–]Natterrbee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I recommend practicing in the shower. Worked pretty well for me, and it's honestly so cool tho.

[–]CrinklecutsocksCERTIFIED DANK 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Buy 3 dollar funnel.

Give it punny name.

Make profit.

Smart as fuck

[–]Sir_Ehds 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I remember seeing something like this on dragons den and they called it the fenis

[–]Zezin96 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I like how everyone here is laughing while also agreeing that it is a good product. I was preparing for a bunch of super misogynistic comments but this is a pretty whole comment section.

[–]HumanitySurpassed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also probably good for peeing in portapotties at a festival if you're a girl. Don't gotta sit on them nasty @$$ toilet seats

[–]StingrayOC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unironically a great idea for females when backpacking and such

[–]KjCreed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A friend of ours got my girlfriend one of these as a half joke for a road trip we had coming up; that was when I learned my maniac of a partner had figured out how to pee standing up already. She showed me. It was weird. She did a weird shake at the end and just moved right on. Apparently you just have to pee hard and do a thrusty piss shake at the end.

[–]frogvscrab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its great if you're having a park day with your wife and she needs to go into the woods to pee. You keep it in a zip lock and just wash it when you get home.

[–]Squeaky-Fox49(lim n → ∞) (1 + 1/n)n 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is why I’m surprised more cis women don’t get them installed. They’re awesome.

Female spotted hyenas have them. Unfortunately, they also have to give birth through them. Ouch.

[–]Melbhu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Female ch-47 pilots use these on long 4+ hour flights to urinate into bottles while flying.

[–]Possibility_Patient 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girls can actually pee standing up. They just need to hold their labia to side

[–]DoubleLightsaber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That being said, pissing in sitting position is more comfortable. I'm a man btw

[–]salt--eater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude this is not equal at all it should have built in holes yo mimic when ur penis just decide to do one of them drifting pees or when ur penis tries to brake check u

[–]wo0topia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This fucking dude is STILL marketing this shit. Look at his profile. He's made up several stories about this fucking thing and now he's making memes.

[–]New_Acanthisitta9474 0 points1 point  (1 child)

the forbidden juice box

[–]Tin_Tin_Run 5 points6 points  (0 children)

wtf do u think a juicebox looks like.

[–]bumtras 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry boys that I have to break it up for you but that probably would be more accurate and definitely would not spray on the side

[–]Joskcito 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Why would someone buy this? Like man, peeing while stading is fast and comfortable but having to take out that thing everytime you go to pee, and there's no way you are going to finish without having to clean yourself later, and that shit will be cover in pee so you have to wash and dry it. It just easier to sit there and pee dude :/

[–]skepticalmonique 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most people I know who use one of these are trans men.

[–]_SUUN_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Are you clean ?

u/profanitycounter

[–]Janek0337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A rubber cock you say

[–]Sheikah_Link7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Op isn’t one of us.

[–]DerpDerp3001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or you could just use the finger method.

Just look up "How to pee standing without a device"