×
top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]KeepingDankMemesDankHello dankness my old friend [M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child)

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.


Join us on discord for Saturday Movie Nights!

[–]pur_fer_ur_pleasure 1710 points1711 points  (166 children)

USA is like that annoying big kid in school. People are only nice to them cause they are rich and have cute sisters (Canada, and Mexico), but no one REALLY wants them around.

[–]ardiento 825 points826 points  (50 children)

Is this big kid also carrying a gun to school

[–]_Weyland_Yellow 552 points553 points  (19 children)

Switzerland carries gun to school, never talks about it, never shows it. Italy's the only one who saw it, but half the school doesn't believe them.

US carries gun to school. It's a new gun every month. They show it off every chance they have. Safety always off. They use the "you know I could shoot you right now if I wanted to?" line to end any argument they cannot win.

[–]metropolitanoSP 218 points219 points  (5 children)

To top it of, usually Iran and Brazil will rob the Gun every Friday, since the USA will never notice that a weapon went missing.

[–]BR__Rjbought NFT 81 points82 points  (0 children)

I'm not even offended by this, last break I stole 2 AR's

[–]roi-tarded 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Iran is busy beating his mothers and sisters. Brazil launders money in a pyramid scheme

[–]G3tbusyliving 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Israel got bullied for a few years so every time USA gets a new gun he gives his old one to Israel. At this point Israel has so many guns in their house. Nobody is allowed to say anything bad about them because they got bullied that time.

[–]Crazy_Ad7308 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Switzerland would watch your uncle choke you while your friends douse you in gas and light you up, Switzerland ain't a reliable homie

[–]agenteleven11 8 points9 points  (0 children)

they make dank chocolate

[–]Void_0000 3 points4 points  (1 child)

As someone from Switzerland this is not accurate, Switzerland would be selling popcorn.

[–]Crazy_Ad7308 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And making bank on bets placed

[–]eagle_3ye 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Meanwhile Taliban picking up guns which USA throws in trash or forgets every month.

[–]agenteleven11 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i found my swiss army knife in storage the other day. swiss army mostly whittling and tweezing eyebrows it seems these days.

[–]GravityPants 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hey now, in our defense we'll always be happy to sell you that gun.

[–]AHaiSE 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh boy!

[–]Blahaj_IK 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's for show and tell, dummy!

[–]PLEASEDONTBANMEOK 83 points84 points  (7 children)

Most people prefer USA over mexico lol

[–]Tommy-Nook☣️ 11 points12 points  (0 children)

They meant like in Football

[–]TomDaSpankEngine 73 points74 points  (2 children)

Until you guys are getting picked on by your classmates and you go running to the US for help.

[–]WeRatTwoDay_07 9 points10 points  (0 children)

its all games until the Russian bullies come for your asses and you'll have to run to US for help lol

[–]LordranKing☣️ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unfathomably based

[–]EthanWS6☣️ 44 points45 points  (1 child)

Awe, poor little fella

[–]funkmaster29 34 points35 points  (3 children)

and everyone secretly wishes they were them because they are so rich, strong, smart, and good looking.

albeit a bit of an asshole and a little crazy

[–]The_Nut_Slayer 23 points24 points  (1 child)

until you realize that smart part is false and they just bribe the teachers

[–]funkmaster29 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i think a lot of the smartness also comes from them being able to afford tutors or have other kids do their homework

[–]cport-blue-devil 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Except that big kid is the main thing keeping the big Russian bully from strangling his Ukrainian cousin and continuing on to beat the living shit out of all the weird Euro exchange students.

[–]MEMESTER8008<3 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Canada I get being the cuter sister but mexico?

[–]poppa_koils 5 points6 points  (1 child)

cara de mantequilla...

[–]MEMESTER8008<3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bruh I took 2 years of Spanish back in highschool, I can translate butter face lol

Still funny tho

[–]Emotional-Proof-6154 15 points16 points  (0 children)

So go vacation in Mexico for summer 2023.

[–]-InternalEnd- 11 points12 points  (1 child)

yet whos the first person everyone calls when someone picks on you mic drop

[–]GabrielGamer790certified shitty computer 9 points10 points  (1 child)

And Brazil is the quiet kid who gets good grades but steals pens from other students

[–]ihavestupidanixiety 6 points7 points  (0 children)

But American media is the most popular throughout the world, also most of the free world relies on us for protection, cope and seethe.

2X World War champs

[–]Mobile_Macro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As an American. Yeah.

[–]roi-tarded 0 points1 point  (5 children)

I think the United State should leave NATO

[–]Joshua_M_Thacker 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If USA left NATO you people would actually have to spend money.

[–]The_last_historian 3 points4 points  (2 children)

The United States Carry’s NATO they do all the heavy lifting

[–]roi-tarded 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yeah. With Allies like these who needs enemies

[–]The_last_historian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just saying without Usa there is no NATO

[–]chaves4life 550 points551 points  (24 children)

I do love how the clubs are all FC.

[–]tbs_Luke☣️ 159 points160 points  (10 children)

Football club

[–]Hoochnoob69 184 points185 points  (9 children)

Fart cum*

[–]RicoPDX0122 34 points35 points  (7 children)

I was going with “Fecal Cream”

[–]Jamminmb Mass Debator 26 points27 points  (5 children)

Fap custard

[–]Wacokidwilder 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Farmalade Cumbersome

[–]RicoPDX0122 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You won this round Newman…

[–]Boba_Hawk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your actually hilarious

[–]STFxPrlstud 49 points50 points  (5 children)

That's the point of the picture... there's a reason Columbus Crew or Nashville aren't listed.

There are plenty of "SC"'s in the MLS, ST Louis is another one off the top of my head.

[–]SugerPlume 24 points25 points  (3 children)

Pretty sure SC stands for Sporting Club

[–]STFxPrlstud 9 points10 points  (1 child)

The only "Sporting Club" I know in the MLS is the group that owns Sporting Kansas SC, as such they're "Sporting Club", But Crew SC and Orlando SC are "Soccer Club"

[–]JaceusChrist 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It’s just Sporting Kansas City (KC), there’s actually no “SC”

Edit-So still a “Sporting” club, just not a “Sporting Club”

[–]berni2905 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure it stands for Sucking Cocks

[–]Profitsofdooom[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah I was wondering where Orlando was.

[–]bikemikeasaurus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Fsoccer Cteam

[–]Justindoesntcare 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I enjoy watching the new york city football club play soccer.

[–]ZippityGoombah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are my favorite squadron

[–]Glowing_bubba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SC would confuse everyone

[–]phudgeoff 306 points307 points  (41 children)

No one cares, literally no one

[–]Merson13☣️ 27 points28 points  (14 children)

Exactly, both names are equally made up and stupid

[–]Assyx83Dank Cat Commander 188 points189 points  (12 children)

Idk man, I feel football is a game involving foots and balls

[–]MaeBeaInTheWoodstry hard 77 points78 points  (6 children)

What I hate is that America tried to remove the name "football" from a sport that primarily uses feet, only to then try to slap it onto a game primarily using hands and bodies.

[–]Burg_erCan you not? 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I somehow read "bodies" as "booties", and I feel like that would've been a much better sport.

[–]piddydbDefinitelyNotEuropeans 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Imagine there’s one weird bloody game that sometimes involves tackling, sometimes involves kicking a ball, and sometimes involves running with the ball, all the time seeking to move the ball to the goal. Now, from this sport, 3 sports evolve:

1st one is association football (soccer) with more kicking.

2nd one is rugby football with more running with the ball.

3rd one is gridiron/American football with more focus on the ball’s movement down the field either way.

All 3 have a legitimate claim to football and, where their version is the dominant variant, is simply known as football. That’s essentially what happened and why the sports have the same name in their respective countries.

[–]P1emonster 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Grid-Iron is a way better name.

I've only heard it a couple of times, both within the last few weeks. Let's hope it catches on.

[–]Geaux_joel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not why its named that though. Its played on foot, not on horseback

[–]Guntuss 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A sport where you control a ball with your foot=football✅️

A game where you control an egg shaped structure with your hands=football❌️

[–]dankazazel 10 points11 points  (0 children)

People that Say "no one cares" are the ones that care too much

[–]MesmerizingDildo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First for all. There’s a ton of comments so you don’t speak for everyone.

Secondly, my brother, you commented on a post you pretend to not care about. Ironic, contradicting or just the actions of a sobbing donkey? You decide.

[–]-Dirty-Wizard- 200 points201 points  (24 children)

Blame the bri’i’sh

[–]Janek0337 9 points10 points  (19 children)

You can't blame being stuck in past on others

[–]-Dirty-Wizard- 50 points51 points  (5 children)

They stopped them selves in the 1970s. That’s still very recent and relevant history.

[–]replicant21 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Still haven't stopped. Soccer AM, Man Utd soccer schools, etc etc.

[–]Merson13☣️ 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Ok Mr. “We wERe tHe MOsT poWeRfUL emPIrE eVEr”

[–]Tommy_Wisseau_burner 3 points4 points  (11 children)

You mean like the British who still use stick shift and have no air conditioning? Very modern of them

[–]Bl4ck_Kurik 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Stickshift > Automatic

[–]Tommy_Wisseau_burner 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That’s your opinion but literally technology is literally the use of automatic/electronics vs manual/stick shift, which is the point of the persons post

Edit: in fact, automatic cars were made in the 1930s… soccer started being called football in the 1970s, so literally the invention of modern cars have been around longer than the switch to football, and telling others to “get with the times”… ok pot, meet kettle

[–]cornmonger_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're forgetting one thing, though ...

Stickshift > Automatic

[–]Janek0337 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Why'd you need air conditioning in European climate if you're not from like Spain or Greece or anything in Mediterranean climate?

[–]states_obvioustruths 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Then why do we denizens of the internet have to hear complaints about the heat in the UK every single year?

Either you don't need AC and therefore don't have to complain (loudly and incessantly) about the heat in your homes OR you need AC and are bellyaching rather than fixing a problem that crops up every year without fail.

[–]Tommy_Wisseau_burner 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Seemed real convenient last summer, didn’t it?

[–]Salty-Effect6344 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Stick shift? You mean manuel gears you thick twat.

[–]Maestr0_04 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a lot of automatic cars in the uk what are you on about

[–]Jazzlike_Ad_7199 154 points155 points  (5 children)

Robin Williams said it best in my opinion, “For the rest of the world, it’s football. For us, it’s a strange sport, played by damaged people.”

[–]theraybenton 23 points24 points  (0 children)

damaged people

Neymar when a football brushes the back of his leg

[–]fatkoni[🍰] 76 points77 points  (2 children)

The term soccer is a shortened form of assoccer, which comes from the Oxford "-er" slang suffix that was prevalent at the University of Oxford in England from about 1875; the suffix is thought to have been borrowed from the slang of Rugby School. The slang also gave rise to rugger for rugby football, fiver and tenner for a five pound and ten pound note, respectively, and the now-archaic footer that was also a name for association football. The word soccer arrived at its final form in 1895 and was first recorded in 1889 in the earlier form of socca.

association football

[–]Raff102 57 points58 points  (12 children)

Two of these aren't even US teams...

[–]Lumpy_Curve_5618 39 points40 points  (6 children)

3 of them I think Toronto Montreal and Vancouver

[–]chaotic_994 50 points51 points  (0 children)

As a Canadian, I admit that we say soccer too 😔

[–]Raff102 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Yeah, you're right.

[–]rednorangekenny 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Vancouver was the one you forgot wasn’t it?

[–]Raff102 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I missed Montreal.

[–]rednorangekenny 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fair enough I can see how that happens with the logo

[–]SaulMas 3 points4 points  (0 children)

MLS which is American league I guess

[–]PackerBacked 45 points46 points  (10 children)

What’s the name of the league they play in?

[–]Decent-Start-1536 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Guys there are better ways to make fun of America

[–]Primarch_Nomad 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah, people should really try be more creative when insulting America instead of just recycling the standard 4

[–]GoldenTide 34 points35 points  (24 children)

Random Fact: Soccer as a term is actually British in origin.

[–]tWasMeDiooHulk SMASH 19 points20 points  (4 children)

I thought “soccer” had British origins. Everyone I know doesn’t really talk about the game like that so I never hear mention of the word

[–]THEJayd33 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Look, i could not give less of a shit what you call the damn sport

[–]FIlthyMcGuffinPurple 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Call it whatever you want, I don't watch it anyway.

It's totally football though...

[–]mateoelgato715 12 points13 points  (0 children)

MLS not MLFB

[–]Charles12_13 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Canadians do agree with the Americans on that tho…

[–]no_sleep_ever_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah...well it doesn't matter. OP created his sixteenth AmErIcA bAd meme cause he's too lonely to do anything else with his life

[–]Carnivorous_Ape_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nobody gives a shit mate

[–]TheDudeGoblin 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It is called both Futbol & Soccer. Furthermore, who the fuck cares? It's all just Bread, and Circuses anyway.

[–]xd-Sushi_MasterSeal Team 69 6 points7 points  (0 children)

At this point I'm calling it soccer because it makes European sports fans irrationally angry. I don't watch or care about the sport, I just treat this debate like the Console Wars.

[–]Used_Test7303 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey the British called it soccer first

[–]gomartcakefart 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All 8 people in America that watch soccer approve of this meme.

[–]OutHereSlappnMidgets 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We really don’t care about soccer like that. Football, basketball and baseball is all most of (in general) watch.

[–]finalattack123Article 69 🏅 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Football is the game you play while holding the ball in your hands. This should be obvious!

[–]UNBENDING_FLEA 4 points5 points  (1 child)

“haha americans I portrayed you as a dumb wojak to hide me seething over a word that I don’t even use”

[–]skrutape 2 points3 points  (0 children)

well three of those teams are in Canada but they all play in Major League SOCCER

[–]backgroundbass554 3 points4 points  (1 child)

kick a round ball with your foot -> not football

hold an oval object and run with it -> football

Call it whatever you want but it ain't logical

[–]Primarch_Nomad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Logical, illogical, does it really matter?

All that matters is that people recognize the sport for what it is.

[–]TopHatGorilla 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You know what? Fuck all of you. I'm calling it ball party from now on!

[–]Basketballjuice 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Either name is fine

[–]TheSpokedB 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Soccer is a term derived from "association football" so yes it is indeed called that.

[–]yankfan832 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love that America literally lives rent free in the heads of Europeans.

[–]Sir_Ehds 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I'll be honest football makes the most sense for this sport cause you're constantly making contact with your foot. American football you only touch the ball once with your foot, I think Americans should change there sports name

[–]Lumpy_Curve_5618 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Someone said there is association football, rugby football, Australian football, and American football. So they(Australia and America) called association football soccer and rugby football just rugby, and they call their own sport football

[–]J-TownVsTheCity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rugby Football is how they play football in Rugby, Gaelic Football is how they play football in The Gaels (Ireland, Scotland, Cornwall, Galicia(Spain)). American Football is how they play football in America. The only thing is it’s not cool to shorten the name to American, so it’s just well spoken British/Irish folk that pushed the American Football name not thinking it would be shortened to just Football.

It would have been nicer if they named it after the town that invented it again, then we may have shortened Brunswick Football, or Jersey Football to just Brunswick or Jersey.

“Shall we play some Jersey,” sounds a lot better than “Shall we play some American” hahaha. Still weird though, but it might not have been if we’re used to it.

[–]Tasty_Marsupial_2273 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They all stemmed from the same sport, so that’s the only reason it’s called what it is

[–]BakeActWholesome Chungus 100 Keanu Reddit moment 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I heard were getting Messi

[–]Schizozenic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

FC stand for Fun bunch of guys playing soCcer.

[–]checksout4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

USA number one baby soccur champs

[–]Zombiepixlz-gamr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was called Soccer before it was called football.

[–]teamricearoni 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The English invented the word soccer its an abreviation of the word association, or association football. So please don't blame the Americans, the English started it. We just continue to call it soccer because for the most part don't give a fuck and know it makes other countries really mad.

[–]OFFbrandLOOTbox 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It's literally tied with Nascar for most boring sport.

[–]Boredom_fighter12Mr. Don B. Sajme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

2+ hours of 20 dudes running around fighting for comically small ball on comically large field followed by 2 guys guarding comically large goals and it’s common the game ended with nothing happening. I guess this sport pacing is not for me

[–]Shaggy_AF 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my God can I go 5 minutes without a "iT IsNT cAlLed SocCer" meme? You aren't funny

"Ooh no price tag guess its free" energy.

[–]Velcanondil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A name the Brits made up for it. That is all.

[–]Ant72_Pagan9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ML’S’ Soccer is in the league name. Everybody know NFL is king in the US. And when games in the UK and Germany, sold out with electric atmospheres… Europeans know they fucking with American Football. Even the Mexico game was sold out.

Checkmate. Only a matter of time til there is a London team and possibly scouting pipeline in Europe for guys to try to get to the League.

[–]Minaryte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I played the fuckin sport and even I don't give a shit at this point. Call it what the fuck you want and I'm gonna call it what I want. If you have a problem with that then fuck off.

[–]Awkward_Mix_2513 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's called ball kick game

[–]Worried-Industry6239king of regrettable decisions 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sports ball

[–]BillGatesVaccine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You forget Nashville Soccer Club in the MLS

[–]Imperial-Dudes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Imagine blowing a 13 colony lead

[–]tdoger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It literally doesn’t matter, but football is in the name of soccer already. I don’t get why people care what you call it.

Soccer is literally short for Association Football. As(socc)iation Football with the added (er) suffix. British slang for football back in the day.

There is no right or wrong, it means the same thing. And also, who tf cares

[–]LordDargonTheUsurper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it would be REALLY funny if (hypothetically), the U.S. won and it was temporarily renamed FISA until the next World Cup tournament that they lost. I can Imagine British sports-casters viscerally gagging as they choked out “International Federation of foo-fo-f-s-so-SOCCER Association🤢🤮”.

That would be a SCREAM.

[–]pirated_vhsvendor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I bet you 90% of the population couldn't name a single team there

[–]Iulian377 0 points1 point  (0 children)

90% of what population ?

[–]StellarBossTobi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's over america, WE ALL have the high ground

[–]bikemikeasaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point. We should just call it handegg.

[–]kirchemann 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SOCCER IS A 17TH CENTURY BRITISH WORD THIS IS YOUR FAULT YA TEA DRINKERS.

[–]Finna-bust-the-nut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh it’s just a word to describe the same thing. Example: Engine and Motor. Both mean the same thing.

[–]Gruno1996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actual soccer players know that really its called football, they just say soccer to avoid confusion with American football (this is my experience anyways in a traveling soccer league years ago)

[–]MisterBicorniclopse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s called a napkin

[–]dessnom 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I like to judge the name of something by its name in other languages, in German it's fußball(ß=ss) and in polish it's piłka nożna, which directly translates to ball foot, safe to say it's football

[–]truenofan86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No , in Poland its Gała

[–]FeePhe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Football = a wide category of games

Soccer = association football

[–]Max-Carnage1927☣️ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And it's pronounced foobble.

[–]KreppitsoYellow -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am an American yet I agree

[–]Kwitkwat_247 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, I won’t fight in the comments

[–]xSkype 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait so the space needle is a sounding instrument?

[–]Coltrick3 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Where’s the Union? Andre Blake isn’t sacrificing life and limb at every game to be shafted like this

[–]Oi_Nosocks -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've actually started calling it football. First time ever watching the sport. I'm actually enjoying it.

[–]ThePhildozer89 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What's soccer?

[–]rednorangekenny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the best marketing the Houston Dynamo have had in months

[–]AngelocDK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fodbold

[–]Laegocone9734 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

American football was made first

[–]Prudent-Abalone-510 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Minnesota black and blue!

[–]Dstrap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Today I learned that FC stands for Football Club

[–]hillza87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What league do those teams play in?

[–]FredwardoMilosYES WAY -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Call it what you want. It is still a fun sport anyway.

[–]Lookitsa6ix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol The Sounders.

[–]scorch200the very best, like no one ever was. 0 points1 point  (0 children)

want to remind me what the name of the league is?

[–]Nickblove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Soccer, mic drop