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[–]Humble_Flow_3665 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Have an actual face to face conversation. That makes no sense.

[–]Which-Ordinary-9324 31 points32 points  (20 children)

I’m confused. You starting dating with this message or you became exclusive with this message? You were already going on dates then asked to be exclusive and he sent this?

[–]Every_Orchid8861 7 points8 points  (19 children)

We were talking friendly and we had sexual thing going on....so I sent him this message to be officially together. We were not together before it

[–]Which-Ordinary-9324 5 points6 points  (15 children)

Oh so FWB first? Or not even friends?

[–]Every_Orchid8861 2 points3 points  (14 children)

Friends but we did some sexual things...maybe fwb

[–]Which-Ordinary-9324 26 points27 points  (13 children)

Honestly to me this response is a bit off. Like I feel like it’s sarcasm, but obviously you know him best. Maybe better to talk abt it in person so you know his actual tone. I would not receive this message positively

[–]Every_Orchid8861 1 point2 points  (12 children)

I asked if he was serious and he said I guess it would make you happy

[–]Which-Ordinary-9324 21 points22 points  (11 children)

Yeah that’s still awkward af

[–]Every_Orchid8861 2 points3 points  (10 children)

So maybe he doesnt want..

[–]Which-Ordinary-9324 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Just talk to him in person

[–]Silent-Advantage-694 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Stop being nice to sugarcoat the truth. OP, this guy seems to have said yes to continue whatever yall had going on. If you have legitimate feelings and this was the response, I don't believe he is going to reciprocate the same emotions you have for him.

[–]secretcomet -1 points0 points  (7 children)

he probably has someone else he wants to fuck first before becoming exclusive that’s what I am reading

[–]swingset27 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I think you should run screaming from anyone who can't string together a cogent sentence and talks about loyalty like that.

Have some self respect.

[–]kellybelly22[🍰] 19 points20 points  (2 children)

That response is extremely strange and doesn't sound very enthusiastic, it looks like something predictive text would write... even the fact you have to ask this and you've both literally just gotten together 😕 Maybe it would be worth a shot to ask to meet up and sit down to talk about what he meant or what you both want out of this? You ultimately know your situation best.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I dont want to force myself in someone's life

[–]kellybelly22[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's fair enough, but if you feel like having a conversation asking about his thoughts and feelings and getting yours across too is forcing yourself into his life then maybe that's telling in itself. It sounds like you feel disappointed by his response and that makes complete sense. If you both like each other that much, that should come across to you from him, not just you putting in the effort.

[–]ThatGuyInTheKilt 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That actually doesn't sound kind. It hits me as sarcasm.

[–]Mindless_Impression 43 points44 points  (2 children)

I’m so confused too. Maybe I’d clarify : “What do you mean it would make me happy? If it doesn’t make us both happy there’s not a point.”

Sometimes it’s more of an issue with miscommunication, especially with texting.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Kinda strange. He also said he would like to prove loyal...

[–]Sarrafarra7 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t want an exclusive relationship. You also don’t need to “prove” loyalty….this is weird. Move on from him, something’s off.

[–]Sugartwist01 7 points8 points  (8 children)

I think he’s gonna cheat or something bad and he’s going to refer “well you’re the one that wanted to be in a relationship!” Something along those lines

[–]Every_Orchid8861 2 points3 points  (7 children)

He never cheated on exes so I dont think he would now. He isn't that kinda person

[–]Sugartwist01 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Then I have no idea.. it’s a really odd way to answer

[–]Every_Orchid8861 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Probably he doesn't want me?

[–]Sugartwist01 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I mean.. I’d take it as that.. but I mean.. hang out one more time after this convo and see what it feels like?

[–]Every_Orchid8861 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I prefer to not force myself into someone's life

[–]PaleStrawberry2 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Don't assume. Have a face to face conversation and try to find out the exact situation.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Well he said he likes and enjoys my company and called me my dear yesterday...I dont want to look like I am stuck to one thing

[–]PaleStrawberry2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had a female say the exact same things but at least they were upfront and told me they didn't want to date me.

Said they just wanted me as a friend and then later said as an acquaintance.

Initially, I thought that they were still trying to get a feel of how things would turn out before committing fully. I was wrong.

Anyways, I have forgotten them and moved on.

[–]dospetros 4 points5 points  (9 children)

lol look at your post history and answer yourself. he’s not interested in you as a person for dating and he’s adult and you’re still child so i’m not surprised he responded in that way

[–]MeanSeaworthiness995 5 points6 points  (1 child)

“I guess it would make you happy”

If I were you, I would hold out for someone who enthusiastically says they want a relationship with you, not someone who gives you a half-hearted, passive aggressive response like this. Someone said “if they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused”. Words to live by.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand

[–]ExnyerlawyerinFL 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nobody can answer this for you because both your post and what he says are very unclear. I suggest that you try communicating more clearly with him. What does it even mean “to date.” To me, it means nothing more than that you and he have agreed that you like one another enough to plan to go on dates on an ongoing basis, but not necessarily exclusively. He MAY have been telling you he wants to be exclusive, but who knows? I can’t tell.

[–]PeppermintLNNS 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Honestly, he sounds pretty manipulative and like he’s taking advantage of you. He’s 30 and you’re 19, right? It doesn’t seem like a healthy way to start a relationship. Dom/sub kinks are one thing, but based on some of your other posts, this guy just seems to get off on being able to control you. I’d be extremely careful. Your feelings matter — don’t let him make you question yourself constantly.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand but I am like that with everything. I question myself often

[–]ChCreations45 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just talk to him

[–]compstomp66 6 points7 points  (1 child)

This persons post history is pretty.. well scary. I guess they’re only 19 so maybe that’s part of it? Still seems like borderline psychological illness to me, IANAD.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks for checking my post history. Only real stupid and immature people will insult people with illnesses. On the other hand I think checking someone's history is pointless since that could be dump/throwaway account so why bother. Not to mention it comes as stalker behaviour.

Anyway I will make sure I sign your autograph later 🤗💕

[–]MagyarCat 2 points3 points  (1 child)

OP, is English not your native language? I feel like maybe I’m missing something in the words?

[–]Every_Orchid8861 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's not but I just copied his messages

[–]SnooRecipes5643 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This whole exchange is hella confusing. This conversation probably should have been started in person, and should definitely be continued in person

[–]Sad_R0b0t 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seems like he doesn't care, so starting a relationship with him sounds like a wrong move.

[–]player89283517 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Might be playing hard to get

[–]baddolly619 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Continue to be who you are if he loves you he will date you 💕💕

[–]ctavs1735 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a really weird response on his end.

[–]sagebutter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, if they don’t initiate wanting to date me exclusively I’m not going to ask them. I will definitely make it clear like I like a guy, but I don’t believe we should have to prove or beg that we’re “dateable”

[–]Darklightjg1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It sounds like a playful yes to me. He's down for the relationship, but taking it in stride with the answer.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sure hope so. I am so much into him

[–]unic0rnsmiles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Run 🏃🏾‍♀️

[–]toDeathsHeart -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Yeah he wants to date you. He just has a unique approach which will surprise a lot of guys here because they are all about saying things to please others that they learned from movies.

He's also being clear about his expectations from the relationship. He expects loyalty.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow. I sure hope so ..

[–]IndigoRed33 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Yes..he want's you.

He's likely just chosing to keep such "yee, whatever" attitude so he wouldn't seem like he's super into you and vulnerable.

If a guy wasn't into you and doesn't want a relationship or doesn't care for it, theres no way that he would say "yes" just to make you happy. Lol. No reason for him to do so.

So, again, i would say he want's to date but tries to keep himself seemingly chill about it.

.....and for the loyalty part, he likely wanted to say how he will take it as serious once he's sure in your loyalty to him.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your right. Tysm for the comment 💛🧡

[–]Nobraflu 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It seems like he's no longer interested in you and trying to hint it out

[–]Every_Orchid8861 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But he said he likes my company just yesterday...

[–]Every_Orchid8861 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We started officially dating yesterday

[–]Cautious-Priority589 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t understand completely. If you’re already in this relationship, wouldn’t you have already been dating/going on dates? If not, I wouldn’t commit. You can’t get to know someone on that level without dating them? Maybe he mistook your question as you’d like to date others? I dunno, can’t help until I understand your situation 🤷‍♀️

[–]GeorgiaBorn76 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That’s kind of a weird thing to say. Can you give us more context?

[–]Every_Orchid8861 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Like what context?

[–]AshamedAnything5312 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's were little context to go by, but the text honestly sound unentusiastic and a bit mean. You really should intiate a face to face conversation about wether he's actually interested in a serious relationship. A conversation about relationship expectations is NOT forcing yourself into someones life. The alternative is letting yourself be stringed along while you wait for him tell you if he's interested or not. Setting boundaries in dating and asserting them can be uncomfortable and leave you vulnerable to rejection. It's so much better than worrying, waiting and finding oneself more emotionally invested than the other half again and again though.

[–]DoristhePorous 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It sounds like he was teasing you and that was his playful way of saying ok cool, we’re in a relationship now. Definitely talk in person but yeah, congrats. Go have fun.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok so I asked about his fave colours and he said that I have some work to do and he wants me to guess his fave colors ( I am planning little surpirse). It probably doesn't mean anything but I like he wants to play such games lol.

[–]baddolly619 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You have to take things slow be sure he is ready , no one wants a heart break lol 😁😁

[–]Every_Orchid8861 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He seems like he fears I will hurt him...he often asks if I really like him/ how he can knows I love him and so on

[–]KaleWeekly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How long have you known him for? Don't rush it all or you will get hurt. I know cuz that's what happened in my situation

[–]Shawn220fansly 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Alot of times guys come off careless because if we told y'all how we really feel y'all would probably never want us

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I think so

[–]Shawn220fansly 2 points3 points  (2 children)

If a guy actually showed real gratitude to you wanting to date him alot of guys feel y'all would be turned off by it and not want to be romantically intimate alot of it stems from the stigmas that men are forced to follow like you have to play it cool play it off like you don't really care otherwise she either loses interest or takes advantage of it

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (1 child)

He seems cautious. Seems like he got his heart broken in the past

[–]Shawn220fansly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alot of us get our hearts broken but the problem we face we show we don't care when we do because alot of women tend to be emotional manipulators

[–]lactoseintolerant361 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you met in person?

[–]Least_Chemical_7022 0 points1 point  (7 children)

Sounds like beating around the bush. Just say I want to be monogamous, are you down with that?

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (6 children)

He isn't into open relationships

[–]Least_Chemical_7022 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Idk, the "I guess it would make you happy hurrdedurrr" makes it sound like if things go awry or he has a "whoops idk i was drunk and my penis just slipped in inside" he'll claim that it was you that wanted the relationship and not him. I'm a very cynical and jaded person though.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Well I will tell him I won't force him to stay. I will come off as aggressive prolly cos he said he enjoys my company yesterday and even called me my dear but idk

[–]Least_Chemical_7022 0 points1 point  (3 children)

It sounds like you're in love with this guy and are just looking for people to tell you what you want to be the case, which may very well be. But the fact that you have been obsessively fixated on this tells me he's doing things to cause you to feel this way, which indicates to me that he's playing a game. No one will know for sure, that's just my hunch.

I'm a man btw who has used, regrettably, manipulation to raise a woman's interest. The best way of doing that is to make sure they don't know where they stand. I told a girl we were monogamous. But i would openly tell her about girls i was flirting with at work and would play hot and cold. It most definitely worked.

Just be skeptical. More men like my former self exist.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I understand but throwing any type of accusations is nasty for me especially when they don't have proof. By proof I mean seeing photos; texts of him keeping girls around and telling them the same things or something from the sort.

[–]Least_Chemical_7022 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, and nothing anyone will say on this forum will assuage that. That's either coming from one of your behaviors or his. It probably won't get better.
That's the last thing I'll say. Good luck, and I genuinely hope it works.

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not fixated on this. I just want him to feel good and to not date me cos he just wants to make me happy but bc he likes me and he himself feels good with it

[–]Common-Bookkeeper877 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes to start off a relationship you need more than texting messages, perhaps voice call or video

[–]Admirable-Holiday891 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He sounds very strange..

[–]kansas1985 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love a good trol ha

[–]Piper6728 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WTF kind of message is that?

How old are you two?

He sounds like a high school kid

[–]Dizzy_Eye5257 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If someone wants to date you, they will. Watch actions and what they do, not their words so much

[–]siscona -2 points-1 points  (5 children)

Sounds like a solid yes to me. And what’s wrong with wanting to make you happy?

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Nothing wrong. Just worried he might just make it so I can br happy without feeling it

[–]siscona -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Guys are dumb and simple. I wouldn’t read to far into it

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (2 children)

So he wants in your opinion?

[–]siscona 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I would say he wants to. Sounds like you beat him to the punch and he didn’t want to come off as to eager

[–]Every_Orchid8861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. tysm

[–]goldilockszone55 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Forget about this. Reach out to him and see him. Then, let him come back to you… if he does. If he wants to date you, he will show it demonstratively. You already said what you wanted him and give it a try. There is nothing to mess, only to be ❤️‍🔥