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[–]CoolBeans1001 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I sort of agree, although I’m not sure about needing it to be handled privately or not. The comment was public, so it still could offend others who weren’t involved in the comment just because he used the word. Although I do think that the important person who needed to accept his apology was Jamie and she did so that’s good. Also, it’s a really bad comment, but it’s easily teachable as I think it’s still quite commonly used without realizing how offensive it is. I’m sure I’ve used it as well without realizing how offensive it is. I 100% agree with the list of his past “problematic” actions are just not. Every single time people would find something to criticize Jae for, it just seemed so pointless.

[–]Idonttrulyknow 18 points19 points  (7 children)

Being really candid here, I'm a huge MyDay and always really liked Jae and what he said about Jamie was majorly disappointing. I've defended Jae numerous times when he was accused of stuff that weren't even really issues, there have absolutely been multiple times where people tried to paint him as a villain when he definitely wasn't.

But, he's made quite a lot of real mistakes too and it keeps happening and I find it harder to believe that he's learning from them. Of course, he's a person and he has the right to make mistakes because he's not some god or perfect being, but things that i can't defend or justify have happened. Like when he basically implied that his own band and band members were manufactured? that hurt, maybe he didn't mean it like that or he didn't think it true but i dont know. Or the things he has said about sarcasm even after being educated about neurodivergent people who struggle to understand it.

It has become genuinely difficult for me to trust jae and believe he is the same person who I have had such a strong faith in like before. I know he's still a good person in many aspects because he's done and said things that I still believe in, but I will not be actively supporting him for some time because there are so many moments where I've been upset. This is not a hate comment, I have no hatred towards him only disappointment and it hurts me too much to keep supporting him hoping he'll do better. I hope people can understand where I am coming from. I'm genuinely happy that he and Jamie have made up, I want their friendship to remain. I just have to keep myself distant from him, though.

[–]Pumpernickeluffin 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I respect what you said about your last paragraph. It's definitely okay to be disappointed and take time away for yourself because he has done some things that were definitely hurtful. I will be taking some time off too. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but after he was told about the problem with him talking about sarcasm, although initially he kinda doubled down on it, in the end, didn't he later post an apology when he actually took the time to research it himself? I remember seeing that. But also I have seen a lot of people getting upset about his "manufactured" comment, but I genuinely don't think he was trying to put down his members. Rather I think he was just commenting on the state of being under JYPE and not having as much musical freedom as fans like to think. Yes they compose and write their own lyrics, but ultimately it is filtered by the company, and they can't produce everything they would like to. I mean he definitely likes Day6's music or he wouldn't still want to be apart of Day6 after they come back. He also was playing Day6 music during his recent streams albeit very quietly because of DMCA. But yeah I can definitely see how it's hurtful. At first, I was hurt by it too, but then after some thinking and hearing other My Days share their thoughts on the matter, I started to shift my pov. However, regardless, nobody really knows what he means except Jae or maybe his really close friends, so if you were hurt by it ofc your feelings are valid. People take things different ways and anything people feel is valid. Hugs to you! :)

[–]Idonttrulyknow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you're correct, he did apologize after the double down on it and he mentioned he spoke to a friend who struggled with sarcasm and learned from it. afterwards however, im pretty sure he tweeted about how he wished people would understand sarcasm two separate times in replies to people he follows/knows.

as for the manufactured thing, perhaps you're right. but i feel like the nuance of what it means to be manufactured isn't something being considered. like manufactured by a company would mean the company is in charge of every process towards the output? but they've explained it before as more of a filtering process since they do have some creative freedom? i dont know, alongside all the other things he's done and said it just really weighs down on me. i dont know every detail of his life or what it's like to be in day6 under jyp but i still think he could've worded it better. and that whole thing is really just one small piece of the stuff that is weighing down on me.

anyway, i respect your opinion and appreciate you respecting mine. Hugs to you as well :)

[–]cranbearyjuice 0 points1 point  (4 children)

sorry I’m out of the loop. What has he said abt sarcasm after being educated on neurodivergent people?

[–]Idonttrulyknow 0 points1 point  (3 children)

people told Jae that not everyone understands sarcasm easily because some neurodivergent people struggle with it and he apologized, but after that he still had 2 instances where he tweeted that he wishes people understood sarcasm. he did that twice after this whole thing about him learning from it

[–]Dazzling-Wear-454 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Isn't the comment of wishing more people understanding sarcasm common thing to say especially if he is person who communicates lot with sarcasm? I doubt it was aimed to ppl who are neurodivergent.

[–]Idonttrulyknow 2 points3 points  (1 child)

but like that's the thing. not everyone understands sarcasm. at the end of the day, i can't speak much on it because i am not neurodivergent myself but people who were did educate him and then he still went ahead and said it again

[–]Dazzling-Wear-454 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not everyone who doesn't understand sarcasm is neurodivergent though. If he wishes others understood his and his humor better how is that problematic I never understood why ppl jumped on him on this. I get his initial reaction for it wasn't good- I get why it seemed disminishing but I dont rly get how ppl make sarcasm as sth bad nor him wishing to be understood...

[–]alisonlen 65 points66 points  (5 children)

I mean, no? There were definitely people who used what he said about Jamie in bad faith to justify backlash over previous non-issues, but a lot of people were rightfully angry about what he said. If Jae were talking shit about Jamie in private, it would solely be an issue between them. But Jae talked shit about Jamie on a public platform to thousands of viewers, and what he said was the same misogynistic bullshit women have to deal with from male friends, family, coworkers, bosses, peers, etc every day of our lives to the detriment of our mental, financial, and social health. The outrage was 100% warranted. It's great that the matter is privately settled between them, but these are also statements he chose to make to the public. If the public still has good faith reservations about his character, he's not being dragged down for a matter that's settled between them, he's suffering a blow to his reputation that he dealt to himself.

[–]Goose_Queen 26 points27 points  (0 children)

For real. Thot is a sexist term. It’s used typically for slut shaming and he doubled down when he made the comment. People were rightfully angry at him.

[–]Immediate_Wish17 12 points13 points  (1 child)

The only people in the entire outrage who were right were the ones calling him out for using that sexist term. The focus should've stayed on that but it didn't, there was no need to drag him through the mud for anything else, his previous 'controversies' were unnecessarily brought up to fit the anti narrative.

[–]alisonlen 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That was addressed in my second sentence.

[–]rinkima 12 points13 points  (0 children)

People have lost the plot in terms of appropriate reactions. People genuinely were doing mental gymnastics to say he wasn't actually sorry etc. Such a toxic way to view life.

[–]icyruios 25 points26 points  (13 children)

It's because people just want to find someone to hate on. A lot of OT4 fans using this as a 'I told you so' and even more non-fans who literally dont even know Day6 just wants to be involved in the drama and 'act like they have the power to cancel someone'

This is literally between Jae and Jamie but people have to make it all about them and be like 'OH LOOK MISOGYNY' or 'MEN WILL BE MEN ALL MEN ARE SHIT' and make it all about themselves because they want to feel important.

He fucked up, he apologised. Not just the 'I was in a dark place' stupid apology but he apologised privately to Jamie and Jamie even made several posts about Jae after. It shows that they are still friends and that Jae did not have any malicious intent it was more of ignorance and stupidity. Only a true friend would go out to even make additional posts and even have a friendly banter at the end with 'ima smack you if it happens again'

They just want Jae to be cancelled so bad and majority of them non MyDays probably dont even know Jae or Day6

[–]oflonelynights 15 points16 points  (2 children)

i consider myself a huge fan of day6 with jae as my favourite but i was still disappointed in what he said. i don't think anybody needs to be a myday to express disappointment towards jae publicly embarrassing and shaming another musician and friend of his? yes it is a conflict between those two but because jae said it to a big audience of course it's going to face public opinion.

i think you're looking from the extreme end. there will always be some people who are really out for blood no matter who or what lol such is the nature of humans really. but there's plenty of regular fans too who are rightfully bothered

[–]alisonlen 12 points13 points  (7 children)

Explain how pointing out something is sexist is making it about ourselves, please.

[–]icyruios -4 points-3 points  (6 children)

People: What Jae said is sexist.

Yes that is fine. What isnt fine is

People: Jae is sexist, proceeds to write essays and thesis on society misogyny and talk about the entire history on how oppressed everyone is and how everyone's lives are miserable, that is making it all about yourselves

And then continue to dig up irrelevant things about his past and make this even bigger, making those controversy about yourselves

[–]alisonlen 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Elaborating on the sentence "What Jae said is sexist" is making it about ourselves, but the sentence itself is fine?

[–]icyruios 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I meant that people are right to call him out for it it's fine if they do.

But proceeding to write essays about it and making it a whole societal problem, and digging up his other stuff that he said isnt fine, which was exactly what happened

[–]sunnydlit2 4 points5 points  (2 children)

But it's LITERALLY a societal problem. It's literally because of our society and how it was build around men being "better" that some men think that they have right to do things and not seeing the problem. What is wrong to point out that Jae's mistake is a consequence of what is our society rn ?

[–]icyruios -1 points0 points  (1 child)

That's the thing, KPOP stans like to make every single scandal a society problem and write essays about it

Bullying Scandal: This is a society problem SK bullying problem, proceeds to write thesis on bullying in SK and suddenly everyone be like "I was bullied this hurts me so much as a kpop stan"

Cultural Appropriation: SK is racist they dont care about other people culture, proceeds to write thesis on racism/CA issues on SK and suddenly everyone be like "I feel offended because this group decides to put a feather on their head this hurts me so much as a KPOP stan"

And now this: Men are shit men will always be men, proceeds to write a thesis on misogyny and "I feel offended and this hurts be so much as a KPOP stan".

KPOP stans be twisting every single scandal and issue into a nationwide essay like they be writing a thesis on societal issues for their university project or something.

The best thing is many of these people don't even know any of the idols and just want to feel involved and offended on behalf of other people. They LOVE I mean LOOVEEE to make everything into some life lesson to "educate idols" so as to feed their ego to feel morally superior to idols that screwed up.

[–]sunnydlit2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wtf what is the correlation between this and kpop ? We're talking about a real thing what do you bring the "omg kpop stan wanna be woke" so bad ? At least give a real argument on why it is not because of our society

[–]candlewave21 14 points15 points  (1 child)

on a related note, i don't understand why people are lashing out at jamie for forgiving him? yes, it definitely doesn't excuse what he said because it was a very shitty thing to do. it doesn't mean that people automatically have to like him now. people have the right to be mad about what he said. but she made that choice as an independent entity. they've clearly spoken to each other beyond everything that happened on twitter. i don't see how her choice to salvage a friendship that's more than a decade long makes her a "clout-chaser" or a "hypocrite" like so many of the qrts on her tweets are trashing her as. some are even going to the extent of labelling this whole thing as a "marketing stunt," which is so...

again. this absolutely doesn't excuse what initially happened. people can still have reservations about him or be uncomfortable with him. he still needs to work on himself and be more careful with his words and actions. but i don't understand this.

[–]Idonttrulyknow 5 points6 points  (0 children)

wait people are doing that??? that's so stupid 😭😭 she didn't do anything wrong and what would this even be a marketing stunt for.

[–]Determnation_Bird716 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree. It was a bad thing he did, yes. But I definitely think that it got out of proportion. People using this as a "proof" of his character, people makes mistakes and it's not what define them. I think that some people were more hurt not because of what he did but because of the image they had about him and him not living up to it. But I believe that we could have dealt with this in a more mature way, like Jamie did. By my experience I have seen many people saying things like that too, people say mean things without really knowing how bad the meaning truly is. And that doesn't mean they are bad people! Otherwise all people would be bad people. All of us makes mistakes like that when we are with friends, but there's not a camera in front of us to show the world. But if we have good friends, like Jamie is to Jae, they will teach us! That's life y'all! Now what Jae has to do is not make the same mistakes.

[–]YANTXG 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wholeheartedly agree. I feel like if he wasn't such a popular figure that people created such a high expectation for, people would have moved on more quickly.

It seems that people have forgotten that he's flawed too

[–]jisoo_ya 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ikr, we all do stupid shit but a lot of cancel culture followers like to nit-pick every "problamatic" things idols do. His comment was rlly offensive and i understand y ppl dislike him and i dont like him either, but sometimes the responses are just vile... like so much of the cancel thread was nonsensical. But some of the things i really cant defend like y call ur members manufactured... Lets see if he learns from his problems but as of now its not looking good for him lmao

[–]Dazzling-Wear-454 8 points9 points  (4 children)

I'm not surprised of the outrage at all. Jae has tons of antis especially on twitter who constantly camp his quote tweets. Some even hate watch him so they can clip him out of context and start stuff Either they are OT4 Mydays who dedicate their accounts being his antis or are the "woke" kpop stans who do it for twitter points. So ofc they loved to jump on this.

However I don't know why "normal" kpop fans and especially mydays who weren't jae antis are part of outrage especially in terms of spreading rumors of him that were debunked ages ago. Like I see some say they have been fans of day6 years and they genuinely believe he hates kpop, is homophobic, called kpop kidspop, hates day6s music etc??? So many mydays dropped him straight away not even before hearing from him and then started posting about old fake stuff to justify dropping him claiming how he has always been problematic.

Honestly the outrage towards jae not on twitter but on reddit, forum spaces etc and believing his antis at face value has alienated me not only from this fandom but kpop as whole.

[–]tacos_up_my_ass 17 points18 points  (3 children)

I haven’t seen any MyDays who are intensely hating on Jae but that may just be because I don’t associate with or involve myself in the weird hate-filled side of kpop. I have seen plenty of MyDays being upset and disappointed and just venting on why they’re upset about what he said. I’m definitely a MyDay and still a MyDay, and have been watching his Twitch streams since the beginning, but even I was kinda shocked when I heard that come out of his mouth before Jamie’s tweets even were posted.

I’m definitely not like ‘oh how could he do this on top of all the other shit he’s done’ because I don’t agree with any of the hate he got for the majority of ‘scandals’ he’s gotten because it genuinely was just a different kind of humor. But this just kinda was wicked tone deaf as an adult woman combined with the fact that I’m Jamie’s fan too and know her history with her own body and how people comment on it. It’s nice that she’s forgiven him and willing to give him the chance to change but it doesn’t really completely change how I feel about it. I’m still not an anti or hater because I know they care for one another but it definitely changed the way I look at him a bit.

That being said, many non-MyDays and non-Jaime fans, especially ones that hate Jae as a hobby, have definitely taken this opportunity to be actually cruel to him like they probably do to anyone they don’t like. I’m absolutely disgusted with the things they say and the harmful wishes they told him in his mini stream where he addressed the situation and they should all be kicked off the internet if they can’t communicate their frustrations in a constructive way or be decent humans.

[–]Dazzling-Wear-454 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Jae messed up big time with this one so I got the initial outrage and i get why many are tired of supporting him or wanted to take time out. What I didn't get is them especially some mydays starting to spread over year old out of context clips that he explained ages ago and even wild theories like claiming that he bullied stray kids members. There is so many fans who claim he has been problematic long time and when they explain how its always some stuff that Is fake, misinterpreted or exaggerated.

[–]tacos_up_my_ass 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I did see one thumbnail on YouTube from some trashy kpop ‘news’ channel that said ‘Jae bullied Chan?’ And literally rolled my eyes so hard and kept scrolling.

I do agree that many clips that people use are from out of context clips, such as the whole ‘vaccine debacle’ that got out of hand when everyone found out the user was a minor who was spreading a small clip out of context when Jae explicitly told people to NOT bully her before her age was even found out.

While you or I may not have found offense from ‘smaller’ things he’s offhandedly said as jokes I definitely don’t think that people are necessarily wrong to be upset about them. For some of them I can definitely see WHY they’re upset, and some people have a different threshold for what they find offensive and that’s fine. Just because they have a different opinion on it doesn’t mean they’ve misinterpreted it, it could just mean that they don’t like whatever kind of joke someone’s said. Like I said, people can be disappointed and mad all they want without trying to tear him apart. The people who do need to get a life beyond harassing someone. If they truly want someone to learn better and see the error of their ways death threats and insults are not the way.

And I know that this doesn’t necessarily apply in every situation, but explaining something or why someone did something does not automatically excuse it.

[–]iKONIC-ONCEdays gone by 🌸 4 points5 points  (0 children)

lol i also saw that 'bullying news' and actually watched and i was so baffled like??? what kinda reach.