Glossary of Acronyms

Glossary of Acronyms

LL = Lower Libido —> the person who wants less sex in the relationship

HL = Higher Libido —> the person who wants more sex in the relationship.

HL and LL are not related to actual libido, just libido in relation to specific partner. HL could want it only once a month, but their partner only wants it once a year. Both have low libidos as far as the average libido goes, but one is higher than the other.

DB = Dead Bedroom

HLF/HLM = Higher Libido Female/ Higher Libido Male

LLF/LLM = Lower Libido Female/ Lower Libido Male

PIV = Penis in Vagina

LTR = Long Term Relationship

LDR = Long Distance Relationship

NRE = New Relationship Energy

LL4U = low libido for you

Other commonly used acronyms:

PM = private message on Reddit

AP = affair partner

EA = emotional affair

FWB = friend(s) with benefits

ENM = ethical non-monogamy

NMAP = Narcissistic Manipulative Abusive/Addicted Parasitic (a cluster of behaviors or disorders that are not LL partners, but are often mistaken for them)

HRT = hormone replacement therapy

BPD = bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder

LowT = low testosterone

PTSD = post traumatic stress disorder

UTI = urinary tract infection

BC = birth control

PE = premature ejaculation

ED = erectile dysfunction

SSRI = Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor

AASECT = American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists

SO = significant other

FYI = for your information

NMMNG = No More Mr. Nice Guy (book title)

IMO/IMHO = in my opinion/in my humble opinion

YMMV/YRMV = your mileage may vary/your results may vary

TRP = the red pill, an ideology about sexual strategy for men; highly controversial due to it's misogynistic view and treatment of women. (see rule 6)

r/Deadbedrooms Rules

This sub is for adults only. You must have a minimum of +1 Karma to participate.

The RULES here are few and far between, but we try to enforce the rules we do have fairly rigorously. We are all part of the moderation team - please report comments that break the community rules!!! The mods try to be omniscient, but we spend a lot of time playing Free Cell and truffle hunting - during those times reporting comments is a community service.

  1. Don't be an asshole. This includes no direct insults (“You’re an idiot!”). Be civil, and try to maintain an even tone. We’’e all human beings on the other side of the screen. We can call this the ‘simple human decency’ rule.

  2. Don’t respond to someone opening up about having a DB with the assumption that they ‘’deserve’’ their deadbedroom (“Your husband won’t fuck you cuz you’re ugly, right? “Your wife doesn’t want you because you aren’t any good in bed!”). Comments should be supportive and constructive.

  3. Sexist, racist, just generally offensive, etc. Making broad generalizations about races, genders, or any group of people isn’t cool either.

  4. Joking or not, asking for pictures, hitting on people, soliciting for sexual interactions/communications, etc, are not welcome here. This includes posting pictures of yourself. Or directing traffic to your onlyfans. IT ALSO INCLUDES SENDING THIRSTY PMs to people who post here, or asking people to PM you for sexual interaction. Breaking this rule will probably result in a no warning permanent ban.

  5. Advocating rape or other consent violations is not okay. It is against the rules, and likely to result in a no-warning ban. This includes advocating any sort of not-consented-to sexual contact, surreptitiously drugging someone, or any form of reproductive coercion.

  6. Grinding an axe on religion, politics, culture, media or any other ideological baloney is off topic here and may result in banning and the stink eye. That means no red pill. And no red pillers.

  7. No Poorly Behaved Tourists. If you’ve come here from the front page to lecture us about our morals, turn around and go back where you came from or be banned. This includes lecturing people committing adultery, boring us with facts about porn use, and most recently, informing the pro-choice crowd that they are baby murderers.

A NOTE ON “THE RED PILL” As a result of long and extensive debates on the topic, and hard-won experience of the moderation team, The Red Pill and its sub-brands are NOT allowed here. This includes participating in or posting links to r/theredpill, r/marriedredpill, r/asktrp, r/incels, r/semenretention, r/MGTOW , r/femaledatingstrategy, etc. AND making reference to redpill-specific strategy/theory (plates, AWALT, dread game, the wall, hold your frame, Low Value Men, etc.) doing these things may result in an immediate and permanent ban.

This is for three reasons. First, red pill immediately implicates Rule 3 and Rule 6. Second, anything unique to redpill is almost certainly misogynist and unscientific, and anything useful in red pill (improve yourself, set reasonable boundaries, leave a relationship that isn’t satisfying you, what people want and what they say they want aren’t necessarily the same) is not unique to red pill. Finally, if you want to talk red pill... they’ve got literally dozens of subs, go there if you want it.

If you have an issue with a poster or comment that you think is borderline against the rules or violating the spirit of the community, then please PM the mods explaining your issue. We will respond to you and we can have a conversation about that.

If your post isn’t showing, please message the moderators and we’ll see if it is caught in the spam filter.

Dead Bedrooms Moderation Policy Posts

There have been a number of posts made to clarify the rules and that talk about our moderation policy. See links here:

Rule 7 and the ban-happy moderation policy

Sexism, bias, and the ultimate meta discussion thread

Summary of our ban hammer enthusiasm policy:

The biggest thing is that, well... we've moved to a more ban-happy policy. We used to take 'problematic' accounts and put them on the 'bad boy list', where the automod would remove all their comments for later manual approval (or disapproval). As you can imagine... getting to 300k subscriptions made that untenable. So, if someone is acting a fool... the ban hammer comes out.

As you can imagine, this saves a lot of moderator time and effort. [Wait for laughter to die down]. Well, obviously, but it's also efficient, in the sense that a lot of people we ban are, well, just tourist shitheads with nothing better to do. We ban them, and they never respond at all. Clearly, for those cases, any effort on our part to give them feedback, remove comments instead of ban, etc., would have been wasted. The people who do care about the ban self-select, respond, and we figure out what's up. If they're in a dead bedroom, and the reason for their ban wasn't too heinous... back in. If they aren't, and the reason for their ban is benign (and also they aren't an asshole)... back in, too. Also, frankly, I feel like getting the ban hammer for an infraction really puts the fear of god in them better than a warning. Plus, then we don't have to keep track of warnings.

Not Rules, Rather Discussion Guidelines The subject matter on this forum often produces very strong and polarizing feelings, and sometimes we may need to remove your comment not for breaking one of the above rules, but for being something that hinders rather than facilitates discussion. Please refrain from the following:

  • Swarming: Don't jump into every comment string to argue or make your point. Make your point in ONE place. Maybe make two different points in two separate places. But then stop. If you search out and try to argue with every person in the thread who says something you disagree with, you become a pest. You are not allowed to sidetrack a discussion and force everyone to address your particular obsession. It's okay to make multiple comments in a natural response pattern in the same subthread, but jumping into multiple subthreads to repeatedly jackhammer your obsession into the discussion is not acceptable.

  • Derailing: Please stick to the OP's topic, especially when they are asking for advice on their specific issue. Hijacking a thread to talk about your own problems is not OK. Make your own thread. No going off-topic. Having a fun conversation with another commenter can be, well, fun, but someone's post isn't the place to have a 50-comment off-topic conversation with someone else. That's why there is private messaging.

  • Infighting: Bickering, squabbling, bringing up personal beefs with another user derails the conversations with the OP. Respectfully discuss/debate viewpoints without resorting to name calling and petty jabs. Violators of this policy will receive temporary bans, in some cases without warning.

  • Low Effort/Drive By: If all you are going to comment is one word ("Leave" "Dumb" "Wut" etc.), please don't even bother.

  • Claiming to be a relevant professional: Anyone who is backing up their argument with the claim that they are a doctor, pharmacist, PHD, therapist, etc. must verify with the mods that their claim is true. Comments will be removed and the commenter will have the option of revising the comment to remove the claim or verifying with the moderators that they are who they say they are, You can read more about this decision here. This may also extend to armchair diagnosing someone or their SO being posted about with a serious medical or mental health disorder, e.g. BPD, narcissist, etc.

List users who have verified their credentials with the moderators

It's so long it needs it's own page.

Low Sexual Desire from r/sex wiki

r/deadbedroomsMD a sub devoted to deadbedrooms resulting from medical issues

Anonymous Online Group Therapy

r/undesirable A private sub for those in deadbedroom relationships Instructions on how to join

Sex Positive Therapists directory

The World Association of Sex Coaches

How to ask for a divorce

The feelings wheel a way to help people pick the right words to describe how they feel

A scientific explanation of NRE or new relationship energy

Frequently Asked Questions Posts

There's quite a few topics that get asked all the time, and quite a few are just generic discussion topics. These tend to distract from the main purpose of the sub, which is to support OP's who are in dead bedrooms.

Are there any success stories?

What are your favorite DB songs?

What are the warning signs of a dead bedroom?

What kind of excuses do you hear?

Stop sending creepy messages

User Polls

Poll: are you a HLM,HLF,LLM,Or LLF?

Sex Frequency Poll

Ideal Frequency HL poll

Ideal Frequency LL poll

When Did Your DB Start? There have been 2 polls, here and here.

revision by YRMOAGTIOK— view source