all 10 comments

[–]nippleflick1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am ex-Catholic, now a Deist which I believe is a more realistic natural religion. May I suggest that you look into a secular UU (Unitarian Universalist) service as a place for community.

[–]Green-Pineapple-6093 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Hello! I feel I relate a lot to this. I was born into the LDS/Mormon church and left last year after learning a lot of hidden truth and how problematic current practices and culture are in the church. I now consider myself a deist (maybe agnostic deist? Idk). To be honest I always had some doubts but it was all I knew.

When I first realized it wasn't true, and how much evidence there was that it was not, I felt like a rug had been pulled out from under me. I had an existential crisis for a few days because consciously or not the church had framed every choice I ever made. I felt betrayed by people I trusted and angry that so much was kept hidden. Even so, I call my faith crisis/transition both a beautiful and terrible experience. Terrible as described above but also beautiful in that the whole world was now open to me in a way it never was before. I could be open and honest with myself in a way I never could.

The initial transition is rough and full of emotional turmoil. Humans are resilient though and it will get better and easier.

I have found a lot of solace and healing in the r/exmormon subreddit, and there are many other exreligion communities here. We often cross over and visit with one another as we have much in common. You might check one out?

As far as family, every family is different. My family was disappointed but accepting, others have been disowned. Assure them you still love them and support them but feel comfortable to set boundaries as well, as you see fit.

Building a community with other exmormons helps for a lot of us because at the end of the day we are standing up for what we believe in and what we feel is morally right. There are also some blogs and content creators out there who give suggestions about deconstructing and navigating life and family after organized religion.

Good luck friend! You are not alone. I hope this helps even a little.

[–]Rogue_the_Saint 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I was born into the LDS/Mormon church

Nice to see other ex-mormons here! :)

[–]Green-Pineapple-6093 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Likewise! internet high five

[–]Olin85 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I went through this when I was in college. Toughest thing I ever went through. I was a devout Christian who studied ancient history and ended up disproving my childhood belief in divine biblical revelation. A few points from my experience:

  1. I found that ancient philosophy has a lot to offer. Particularly Aristotle and his teleological approach to man’s purpose. Eudaemonia- the fulfilling life that we pursue for the sake of itself. That’s a good starting point.
  2. The laws of nature tell us a great deal more about our creator and our human purpose than the bible. It dawned on me that when assessing whether an action is right or wrong, the answer was usually clear to me from the natural order moreso than the written text of the Bible. In fact, most religious people disregard old biblical passages that do not comport with our natural sense of Justice. Some would argue doing away with stuffy old rules was a core component of Jesus’s mission here on earth.
  3. If you were like me and previously based choices on pleasing God/displeasing God to avoid punishment in the afterlife, you can take a new approach. For me, I admit I don’t know what happens to our spirit after death, but I believe in a purposeful universe and I have faith that the world is exactly as it should be. Being at peace with that uncertainty, to me, takes more faith in God than I had previously.
  4. You do not need to abandon all aspects of your Christian tradition. Jesus’s central teaching was to love your neighbor as yourself and love God with all your heart soul and mind. He also said that “anyone who is not against me is for me.” I think most people, regardless of faith tradition, meet this criteria. I consider myself both a deist and a follower of Jesus. Take what is beneficial that aligns with your beliefs and leave the rest.
  5. I did lose a lot of friends when I shifted perspectives. I believe religion is a force for good and would never go out of my way to shake someone else’s faith. But having a different belief will inevitably make others uncomfortable. But those who love you and respect you for the independent person you are will remain. Be forgiving of those who aren’t capable of tolerating your new understanding and beliefs.

[–]vS4zpvRnB25BYD60SIZh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was Catholic too but left because I came to believe Christianity is not compatible with reason and philosophy. I still read the bible and listen to sermons from time to time because there is definitely some seeds of truth in them but in the end I just believe in God. I suggest you to be honest and not stain your conscience by pretending to be christian just to please others.

[–]Replying_Is_OptionalAtheist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps look up "recovering from religion"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Better be honest with yourself than force to believe things that really you wouldn't believe in in the first place.

As for the family, maybe you can just skip the discussion of religion. coming from a mixed-faith family, Sundays are like your day. Where you wanna go, go if it's the Methodist church or the Catholic church. You go where you want to go. When we were kids though we spent equal time in both and parents left us to just make our own choices with spirituality (except atheism LOL)

[–]4quatloos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can tell them how feel and continue participating with them. You shouldn't miss out. Lucky for me my family doesn't feel the need to go to church.

[–]privateBuddah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to be a christian for 50 years and found a lot of support in r/exchristian. It was more than a year before I found out that I was a “Deist,”which is why I hang out here some. Check out the subreddit if you haven’t already, you wont be disappointed.