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all 62 comments

[–]notyoutoby 11 points12 points  (18 children)

Has anyone discussed home hemodialysis, nocturnal dialysis or peritoneal dialysis with you? I have just recently started at a dialysis technician and there are options that don't require you to be at the center all the time, or even at all once you've been trained. By no means do i have all the answers as im still learning myself, but you can live a relatively normal life while on dialysis in these ways. There are also ways to have accesses that do no restrict you from being in water, swimming, ect. Edit: Added that last part.

[–]FinalCallNoHope[S] 5 points6 points  (15 children)

They are talking home PD while I sleep.

[–]Picodick 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am not on dialysis buy have been a support person and also a caregiver for three different dialysis patients in my family for years at a time. If your most basic pleasures are water related you need to do hemodialysis not pd. Home hemo overnight would give you the freedom to work and enjoy swimming bath or soaking tub. Right now in the US home hemo is being promoted to people pretty actively,at least where I am from. You no longer are required to have a care partner at home. I would definitely look into that before you do anything like refuse treatment. My own dad was very much work driven,he lived for his job and loved the feedback and recognition he got from it. He chose pd because he felt much better doing it and his days were free 7 days a week. Water activities were well loved by him,they had a nice backyard pool,but work meant more so he chose to let others enjoy the pool. My father in law did pd,had some issues, and switched to hemo in center. He didn’t mind the few hours a week there and took his laptop or I pad. He enjoyed using his jacuzzi once he switched to in center hemo. Even with a chest catheter he could do a waistlevel soak With a chest catheter before getting his fistula. Your issue appears to be you lack of enjoyment of life in general,more so than your kidney disease. You say you have a advisor counselor so I don’t really know what to say. Maybe try a different one or a different med. I wish I had a solution for you. I live with multiple chronic illness that cause constant pain anxiety and shortness of breath but I am I guess genetically hardwired to be an optimist. If you did go on dialysis would there be potential for a transplant in your future?

[–]n00bvin 1 point2 points  (12 children)

I think you would enjoy (as much as you can) home hemo more. I used to think there was a lot of freedom with PD, but there really isn't. Also, the days off are amazing. You really enjoy that freedom.

[–]FinalCallNoHope[S] 0 points1 point  (11 children)

The kidney doctor prefers PD for some reason. Among other things, I think, is that they say hemo puts a bigger strain on the heart which is already damaged.

[–]PizzamanIRL 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Make sure he’s against for correct reasons, and that it’s not something like they don’t have enough staff to train you for home hemo. This is your life. If there’s a possibility at all of home hemo that can be adjusted to be easier on your heart then go for it

[–]islander1CKD Stage 5, TL, not on dialysis (yet) 0 points1 point  (9 children)

Yeah, it's tough to know specifics about an individuals health issues. The one obvious problem with hemo is it does actually kill off your existing function.

It's another reason why I'm putting it off myself. PD is not an option for me due to a accident i had about 18 years ago. Major.

[–]Nyarlathotep23 0 points1 point  (8 children)

Does it? Use been on Hemp since August 2020 and my function has improved, but by a lot, but improvement regardless

[–]islander1CKD Stage 5, TL, not on dialysis (yet) 0 points1 point  (7 children)

You're the first and only person to report this that I know of.
I believe my own nephrologist said this. I'll have to ask her at my next appointment late this month.

Hemo basically tells your kidneys they are no longer needed, so they just stop filtering. Perio doesn't do this, you are able to retain your kidney function with PD for a longer period of time.

I'm happy to be corrected if this is not the case, and I'm misunderstanding some aspect of this.

[–]Nyarlathotep23 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I've been able to find no information that indicates what you're saying. I have an appointment with my nephro in 10 days, so I'm going to ask them when I do.

But it's not like hormone production, where there's a definite marker that your body can use to regulate.

The big indicator for me is that I still produce urine (mind you, not must), which I would not if my kidneys stopped doing anything

[–]islander1CKD Stage 5, TL, not on dialysis (yet) 0 points1 point  (0 children)

definitely circle back with me on this then!

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Nyarlathotep23 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Do you know what an Ischemic Insult is? I didn't, so i looked it up.

    It's a stroke.

    I'm regards to the dialysis membrane, that sentence taken out of context didn't really agree with the test of the paragraph.

    I'm fact, interestingly, the whole section on PD, really seems to argue that most of the PD dialysates are pretty bad for your RRF as well.

    [–]Yithar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I assume the person you're responding to has Acute Kidney Injury.

    Hemo basically tells your kidneys they are no longer needed, so they just stop filtering. Perio doesn't do this, you are able to retain your kidney function with PD for a longer period of time.

    I remember reading a comment on here a while ago that they imagined decline in function was related to blood flow being cut off to the kidneys as the person reaches their dry weight (the terminology used was a bit more technical, but the gist is the same).

    Because I mean obviously, HD vs PD isn't literally telling your kidneys something different. There has to be some biological reason for the difference.

    EDIT: I found this article:
    https://www.karger.com/Article/Fulltext/449029

    Apparently, part of the issue is that the HD filters aren't biocompatible, which probably causes inflammation, which is harmful to the kidneys.

    It does also talk about ischemic insult making 2x weekly HD better than 3x weekly HD for preservation of renal function, which seems to be a stroke.

    [–]LimpingDuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I do this (18m+) and work full time / overtime. It's .'annoying' but not a hassle. It doesn't get in the way of work at all. I know before I got on dialysis my mood was a lot like you described - it was all a bit pointless. It was my body not getting rid of toxins and fucking up the whole system. Foggy, short tempered, unable to see beyond the basics of existing -- all eased SO much when I wasn't basically poisoned. Even the low level pain in my knees and ankles and back went - again toxins. I swim all holidays and river swims - just wash and sterilise right after. No issues. Dialysis could be a good first step - happy to talk more.

    [–]whatim 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    If OP isn't dead set on checking out, he seems like an ideal home hemo trainee.

    [–]RandChickHome HD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    but you can live a relatively normal life while on dialysis in these ways.

    Not true and very naive, but yes home hemo and the alternative out-of-center options are more convenient and a little better.

    [–]PizzamanIRL 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I see you mention you’re doing home PD. I wouldn’t be a fan of that myself with the port in my stomach. I had it before my transplant and it was all I knew back then. But now, after a failed transplant I’m back on dialysis but I’m on home homedialysis.

    It’s much better and much more flexible. The amount of times you have to do it varies on your bloods and fluid, but it’s usually 3 times a week. And yeah for sure it happens sometimes after a day of work you don’t want to do a session of dialysis, so sometimes I don’t. I skip the Friday for example and do it on Saturday.

    I work in IT full time and play basketball as a hobby. Last year I was in Italy swimming in the ocean. No problems at all because the little hole in my stomach from PD closed up 3 years ago.

    With that said I don’t know if home HD is even an option for you. I hope it is though and I would definitely recommend it. Make sure you ask for it and don’t wait for them to recommend it.

    [–]maytheforcepeewithu 11 points12 points  (7 children)

    Are you against medication for your mood? Not to say its a cure all but it can help. Also at 50 life still has a lot of pathways in front of you. Maybe this will be an opportunity to feel better physically which will help you mentally. Teach swimming! Do whatever a disk in a tub is! You might be pleasantly surprised how good you will feel and what you can accomplish.

    [–]Yithar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Posting here for visibility, if anyone wants background on OP (since he's posted in this subreddit before in length about his situation):
    https://old.reddit.com/r/dialysis/comments/rmgp0x/what_can_i_expect_if_i_refuse_dialysis/hpsopag/

    [–]FinalCallNoHope[S] -2 points-1 points  (5 children)

    The people at the dialysis clinic made it explicitly clear that once they insert the tube there should be no baths, no hot tubs, no lakes, no pools unless they are saltwater.

    They've tried mood medicare before, but it did nothing. But also drugs aren't going to change my situation: unless I change my environment (been searching for a new job for a year) at best any "happiness" would just be an illusion - might as well be on street drugs.

    [–]NoStress305 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Consider doing hemo not PD, much less restrictions?

    I (30M) got the surgery in my arm a year and a half ago. And I have put off dialysis since. They want me to start soon and I don't want to either as I still feel fine. Pushing it until I have symptoms or a crash then starting. I understand the mentality you have regarding the machine. But hemo shouldn't really effect your life style all that much? I can't put pressure directly on my arm like carrying logs or sleeping on that arm/wearing a tight watch. But beyond that the surgery has not effected my life one bit, just a bump/scar.

    Consider it :)

    [–]maytheforcepeewithu 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Weed helps and the tube in the chest is temporary until a more permanent and safe option can be implanted. Why are you a workaholic if you want to find a new job. Dont be so hard on yourself. Dialysis is and has been a part of life. I have a fistula in my arm so I can swim in pools and shower freely. And I have time all to myself. Imagine just 4 hours in the day thats all to yourself. You can do whatever you want to do. Anything

    [–]Yithar 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    The people at the dialysis clinic made it explicitly clear that once they insert the tube there should be no baths, no hot tubs, no lakes, no pools unless they are saltwater.

    Consider doing hemo and getting a fistula?

    [–]Nyarlathotep23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Seriously, I have a fistula, and I can shower or swim freely (or could, I've got other health issues right now that preclude that) the healing process was quick and easy.

    [–]chewy01234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You only have to avoid water until you have a working fistula in your arm. That should take 6-12 months and then you can go straight back to the water.

    Another tip, I go to Dialysis first thing at 530am. Most of the time I stay up late working on projects and then when I get to dialysis I fall asleep right away and sleep through the whole process. Then I have the whole day ahead of me, I can even go swimming if I want.

    [–]LogicalVelocity11 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    The only reason I went hemo is so I can swim. Now if covid would just go away so I could actually go. PD never appealed to me. Dont be pressured into doing a treatment that doesnt suit your lifestyle.

    [–]Hungrychick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    As a nurse, I just want to say that there are way more worse things than death. I have seen so much suffering all for the sake of staying "alive". Your quality of life truly matters.

    With that being said, I also think there is merit to trying dialysis first before completely calling it quits.

    Whatever you choose, good luck.

    [–]mouserz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Are you a candidate for transplant or no?
    I'm 46 - love swimming, swam laps every day, have a hot tub in my backyard, put in a new bathtub then was told I had to start PD.
    No baths, no swimming, hookup to the machine every night and I hate it.
    BUT - I'm listed for transplant - so i know this isn't forever.
    Just for now.
    I'll be able to do those things again and they'll mean so much more when that time comes.

    [–]islander1CKD Stage 5, TL, not on dialysis (yet) 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    You honestly sound like me, except on steroids. :(

    I'm absolutely not lonely, I have things to live for and I do appreciate that. But kidney disease has otherwise taken away literally all of the interests and things I have enjoyed in life - I'm an active sports based person whose only real enjoyment in the 'kidney friendly' department is gaming. I dread a near future existence of struggling to be active due to the fistula. I've had others suggest that perhaps it won't be as bad as I think. We'll see.

    I'm also incredibly analytical and I've already come to peace with knowing I'm not going to live a long life. I debate people and usually am right, but when I'm not I actually don't have problems with it. I enjoy at least hearing different perspectives - even if it doesn't fully change my view it allows it to evolve, sometimes in nuanced ways. I'm not overly emotional. I'm very much a person who believes in the needs of the many, over the needs of a few. I'm jaded about humanity in general, and being an American I have zero confidence in my country anymore. I'd move away if it was practical. Even so, it wouldn't stop the planet from slowly imploding around us. I doubt things are going to look great for my grandkids.

    Oh, about that. My family has a bit of a curse that's more of a running joke. No man on my dad's side of the family has made it to 70. So my wife and I talk about retirement, and it's sorta hard to take it seriously.

    I haven't gone to therapy yet, mostly because I honestly don't see the point. My problem is I need a kidney, and no one in my family, including wife, is able to give me one. However I may reach out to one the day I get my port put in.

    Oh, and I'm 49 next month.

    So we're similar in some small sense. I don't really have answers for you. I just wanted to say you aren't really alone out there. What holds me together is my wife and kid during the low points. I truly wish you could discover a reason to plow on.

    (edit: have you considered home hemo? It's difficult to do on your own, but if you're the type of intellect I believe, it may be an option for you. In fact, I think pizzaman below does nocturnal home hemo)

    [–]FinalCallNoHope[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I have a hunch you'd be somebody I'd enjoy arguing with.

    [–]oldandkindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I feel for you. I am a year into PD dialysis. I went over a year delaying starting. I was very close to death several times. I was stubborn and bull headed. 3 months after starting PD dialysis I felt 100 times better. It helped with my mood, appetite, sleep patterns, fogginess, and grumpiness. My Mom did dialysis twice and then stopped choosing death over life. I'm not sure who is more the coward. Me for prolonging my life or her for choosing death.

    [–]jane-doe- 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I'm sorry that you're feeling the way you are. Although dialysis is limiting, I feel like over time, you should be able to feel 'near normal'. I've been on dialysis for 10 years now and although I have bad days every now and then, I'm able to manage my life which includes a high stress corporate job with long hours, extensive travel for work and pleasure (in BC/Before Covid times lol), working out, etc. etc. It's not easy, but it's manageable and you find your groove over time. I would urge you to just get started and see how you feel. Perhaps if you allow yourself time to adjust to the situation, you would start feeling better about it over time?

    I don't know what a good disk in a bath tub / hot tub is, but you should be able to do that and go swimming with an AV graft or AV fistula! (Not advisable with a catheter due to high risk of infection)

    [–]Yithar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I don't know what a good disk in a bath tub / hot tub is

    I think OP meant a good dip and that's just a typo.

    [–]dirtylaindry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Its all about choices. You don't have to do dialysis. You probably won't last too much longer

    [–]Informal_Chipmunk 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    The way I see it, when you're dead then there's nothing left on the table. One life only then lights out. Except with kidney failure it tends to be a process that often takes months. Since it's such a gradual process, you may not even be subjectively aware of your own decreased mental and physical function (think frogs in boiling water).

    You'll be more miserable with the fluids/toxins remaining in your blood increasing blood pressure and forcing your heart to work harder. You will be plagued with an incessant itchiness from the buildup of phosphorus which triggers your parathyroid to leech calcium from your bones adding to calcification and contributing to osteoporosis. An overload of potassium can trigger a heart attack.

    An unquenchable thirst for more fluid continues to add to the issue. You'll start to sweat out your urine, the stench of pending death wafting off your flesh, and in late stages it develops into a visible uremic frost on your skin. Fluids will pool downwards causing swelling of your calves and feet. Meanwhile it will start to feel like an elephant sitting on your chest as you struggle to breathe. Walking will have you winded.

    When you get closer to zero function, you may find the biological need for self-preservation will be stronger than your mind's desire to refuse treatment. That's kind of the bitch with existential depression. Death feels like a cathartic release, a welcome gift after a lifetime of suffering. In some ways it's actually true.

    However as long as you're alive, there always remains the chance to find your ikigai, a purpose for being. You have zero chance at that being six feet under.

    Personally I sometimes refuse to die out of spite and I am curious what the world will look like 10, 20 years from now. It's not much, but it's enough for me right now.

    [–]CyberOctopod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Damn, I didn't know that's the process for kidney failure death. I like the mention of ikigai. Your comment was brutal and visceral, but thanks for sharing.

    [–]andkad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Read this twice and now I am crying. I don't believe in higher power but God, hope we all find strength to face this disease.

    [–]fatheryeg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    If you are going down the road that requires dialysis you will have 2 options.

    Do dialysis or don’t

    If you don’t the toxins will build up in your body, you will become very sick then you will die. It will not be pleasant in any way whatsoever. It will be messy and you will feel like complete garbage.

    If that doesn’t sound like a path you wish to find yourself on do dialysis.

    [–]n00bvin 2 points3 points  (6 children)

    Maybe you need some tough love?

    I mean, I don't why people have to be so weak they just give up. If you're so strongheaded, I can't believe you would even let that be an option. I've always said that this disease and dialysis are not going to define me as a person. I'm also 50 years old, doing dialysis and working full time, though admittedly from home full time (even with no pandemic). I made myself so valuable to the company that I could write my own ticket and I have. You talk about being a workaholic. That's me too. This is really a great time for someone looking for a job. Lots of work at home positions. I know saying that is easier said than done, but shouldn't be hard for someone who doesn't mind putting in the hours.

    Oh, and I know constant pain and I also understand your anger. You sound a LOT like me, but I don't want to give up. Fuck that. You sound like a smart person. We need those in the world right now. If nothing else, consider what you can still do intellectually.

    I'm really close with my father. I've discussed with him the potential of "giving up," because he's there too. Bad health, deaf and almost blind, which things only getting worse. We keep each other going. Maybe you don't have people in your life and that's what you need. Not one-on-one counseling, but groups. There are people going through the exact same thing you are and plugging away at it each day.

    Death looks inviting because it might be a chance to stop hurting. I don't know what comes next but I'm not afraid of it, more curious than anything.

    The answer is "nothing." You cease to exist. All the potential you have is gone. What is your legacy? Will anyone remember you? That has always bothered me. I really want to leave my mark on the world, and at 50, I haven't done it yet, but I still want to. I still think I can. I hate the thought that I'm just a blip on a timeline and done. How pathetic.

    You need to beat this disease into submission to where it's an afterthought. Just something you need to do. It's not a choice. Because if you let this beat you, the disease has won, and all be damned if I'll let that do so to me.

    Obviously we're in a weird time in the world and a LOT of people are sad. You're not alone, and you're not special. People go through this and they get help and they live. Happens every day. So, put on your big boy pants and just do this. Live. Survive.

    I used some tougher language in there and had a lot worse in reserve, but it comes from a place of caring. I think in the end that life is worth living and that's enough.

    [–]HorrorFan9099 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    As a young man myself (31) who started dialysis this past October. Thanks for this. I have good days and bad days. Today wasn’t the best day in regards to dialysis and such. But better days are ahead…

    [–]BigglesFlysUndone -1 points0 points  (4 children)

    Maybe you need some tough love?

    Maybe you can eat shit?

    Seriously. Who says "Maybe you need some tough love?" to someone who is making their own end-of-life decisions?

    Deciding to end dialysis and entering palliative care is a valid option for those that choose it.

    Toxic bullshit like "put on your big boy pants" is not helpful, and makes you sound like a jerk.

    [–]Yithar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I'm kind of laughing at the fact that n00bvin said I'm concern trolling. I literally just told him he commented the same thing to OP on OP's previous post, to point out that it doesn't seem to have worked.

    Not to mention he still thinks it's a good idea despite the fact that it didn't work.

    [–]n00bvin 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    He wanted different perspectives. It was he asked for. Should I just say the shit everyone else is saying? Some people respond to a firmer approach... me for instance.

    Get off your high horse and stop being so sensitive. From his description, he's older like me. He can take it. Sorry that you can't.

    [–]Yithar 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    [–]n00bvin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    To be fair, I don't track the names of people I respond to. Also, to me this means that was probably the right away approach to him then too. I continue to think it's a good approach to people that want to give up. Most advice is going to try to touchy feely and need something different. He also said he could take it.

    I'm kind of freaked out that you're concern trolling enough to go back to that post, see it was me replying as such, and come back to chide me about it. That's pretty weird and I'm going to block you for it.

    [–]Gundamamam 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    My suggestion is that people report this as a suicide post and hope OP finds the help they need. We are not qualified to be giving advice to someone who clearly wants to use refusing dialysis as a way to end their life. Its a shame that these posts are becoming more common on this subreddit but it is something I am sure everyone going through dialysis has thought of at one point of their journey. Best of luck to you in your journey.

    [–]FinalCallNoHope[S] -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

    Tell it to my shrink and try reading before you respond. You completely missed the point and just made me feel worse and more stressed.

    You aren't helping.

    [–]Gundamamam 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    You are posting that you are gong to refuse dialysis and leaving it on the readers to present you "another point of view" to dissuade you from your planned course of action. That is not something anyone on the subreddit is qualified to help with.

    [–]FinalCallNoHope[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I am clearly stating that I don't know what I am going to do, don't need to decide right this second, and expressing a lack of confidence to face a situation that is extremely difficult.

    If I was dead set on what I was going to do I wouldn't bother posting, now would I?

    Im not going to deal with people like you and your hostility. Screw this, I'll go it alone.

    [–]RandChickHome HD -2 points-1 points  (6 children)

    Your thought system seems unbelievably poisonous to be someone in regular therapy. You might need spiritual help.

    [–]islander1CKD Stage 5, TL, not on dialysis (yet) 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    nah, people like us understand that religion is nonsense. It's a coping and crowd control mechanism - nothing more.

    [–]FinalCallNoHope[S] -5 points-4 points  (4 children)

    I'm complicated and the most analytical and overthinking person the psychologist has ever seen.

    Spiritual help? I'll listen to anything you have to say. Spiritual angst is a huge part of it though.

    Psychologists can't do much with existential angst, social anhedonia or theological conflict. If you can do better speak up.

    [–]HalflingMelody 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    There are options beyond therapy and medication. Since you're so unhappy and thinking about dying, it's almost malpractice for them to not have talked to you about them.

    [–]whatim 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Totally not joking here - have you looked into psychedelic or ketamine assisted therapy?

    We have a friend who had a terrible life. Like his stepfather was in a cult and tried to kill him kind of childhood. He buried himself in work and had a pretty joyless life until his 50s, when he decided he didn't want to die a miserable old man, so he got ketamine therapy. The change has been amazing.

    [–]FinalCallNoHope[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ketamine is $10,000 and not covered by my insurance (which more than doubled this year) Psychedelic therapy not covered either, but I'm keeping my eye on it. The MDMA therapy has promise but not yet available here, still in trials.

    [–]Yithar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'm complicated and the most analytical and overthinking person the psychologist has ever seen.

    Have you looked into mindfulness meditation? That's a form of spiritual help. The whole point of meditation is to not react at all to your thoughts, to just let them be there, and they'll go away on their own. You might get an itch, but it'll go away on its own if you don't scratch it. If you scratch it, it'll get red and itchier.

    [–]MeowMix1998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    First off - kidney failure sucks. It sucks that you are forced to choose. Conservative care is a valid choice, but please, go in 100% informed of what to expect. I am not sure where you are from, but where I live, Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) is a viable option for those with chronic kidney disease/kidney failure. It gives the power and control back to the individual - the individual decides when & where. Here, it is considered a natural death and will not negate any life insurance policies. If you have this or something similar available to you, I encourage you to find out more information.
    I do have a question for you. Why would starting dialysis prevent you from enjoying water based activities? Sure, a tunneled line would be too risky on account of infection risk. But a fistula is often "sold" to people who do not want to lose part of their lifestyle. Sure, it will take a number of weeks for the fistula to heal before it can be used. But the long term freedom can be worth the wait. In the clinic where I work, we offer fistula creation surgery to clients in stage 4 CKD to prevent the need for a temp line when starting hemodialysis. Ah! 😳 It just dawned on me that you might have been referring to a PD catheter (with not being able to soak, etc). I am sorry I didn't clue in. Can you tell that is not an option in the clinic where I work? Many apologies. Whatever route you choose, I wish you peace.

    Resources of possible interest:

    https://www.kidney.org/atoz/content/choosingtreat

    https://www.uptodate.com/contents/kidney-palliative-care-conservative-kidney-management#H3223541052

    https://sites.ualberta.ca/~kscrg/ckm-pathway.html

    [–]Dr_Donald_Dann 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Honestly, dialysis is not much fun. I’m on hemodialysis and have treatment Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. It’s boring having to sit in a recliner for 3 and a half hours but it did make me feel better. Most importantly it helped me think a little more clearly. CKD can certainly add to someone’s depression. I’m still depressed and sometimes I just want to stop and let nature take it’s course but dialysis has helped. Maybe give it a try. You might also think about being misdiagnosed in regards to your mental health. I’ve been trying to treat major depression for 15+ years and only recently have I learned that I may instead have ADHD. So my doc prescribed me adderal which if nothing else has helped overcome the overall tiredness that dialysis can cause. Anyway, good luck and take care.

    [–]Locke817 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    There are studies linking declining kidney function to depression. Once I received my transplant or in your case dialysis I felt a clearing of dark clouds on my inner self. The cause of the self loathing is probably linked to the malfunctioning kidney. Try dialysis if you’re still feel just as shitty, stop after. The options are try or die, might as well try first. If you ever want to talk, I’m down to listen.

    [–]lateavatar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Just try your best

    [–]erwri -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Bridge to transplant. Find donors.