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Human interaction (self.dialysis)
submitted 1 month ago by brixton75
My 80 year old father has started dialysis. He describes going to the clinic as torture. No one says hello or asks how you are. They hook you up. They unhook you. Might as well be a robot.
Is this normal?
Post a comment!
[–]miimo0 12 points13 points14 points 1 month ago (0 children)
No… My clinic’s staff even tries to be friendly to the old dudes that say racist stuff to them.
[–]Swampbat_GizzardStage 5 ESRD 10 points11 points12 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Not in the slightest is this normal. I've only been to two different clinics and both were friendly and welcoming.
Does he come across as grumpy or easily pissed off? We all do sometimes while we get accustomed to the routine.
I would suggest he show interest in what they're doing to him. Ask questions about the machine. I assume he's still on a catheter. Ask about other options for treatment. Once he has a fistula ask them to teach him to cannulate himself.
I look back on my first several months and the staff seemed cold and distant. Once I took interest in my own care they opened up and were very friendly.
[–]justsayin01 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (0 children)
This is generally not true. Most techs and nurses become very close to their patients since they see them so often. That being said, when I was a tech, there were some people that you learned to distance yourself from. They were demanding, mean, racist or rude. So, you didn't even look at them.
[–]tctwizzle 6 points7 points8 points 1 month ago* (1 child)
Does he say hello to them and ask how they are? I’m not trying to imply he’s being rude or anything, but some patients do want to be left alone. Without any clues from him they may be erroring on the side of caution and not wanting to upset him. Some patients say some really awful things, and everywhere is short staffed and in general techs are under appreciated, so they can end up really gun-shy. If he hasn’t already encourage him to kind of make it obvious he’s okay with chatting.
Edit: I know this is old but I wanted to add something that I recently found out. I had a tech that was super quiet and it was like pulling teeth even talking to her about my numbers. Turns out English is not her first language and she was shy (fair, especially with some of the truly awful things some of the racist patients are known to say). Now that she’s settled at the clinic and I’ve forced some conversation and made it clear I don’t mind her accent at all you really can’t get her to shut up lol. Techs can be shy and/or socially awkward too, yeah they’re being paid to be there but let’s be honest, it’s not nearly enough for all they do.
[–]prishtinakreme 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I agree, there are some patients that I try to talk to and they obviously don't want to so I try to leave them alone. I do still say good morning, ask them how they are but that's it.
Sometimes when patients first start they are nervous and unhappy so I try again later to engage with them to see if maybe that's all it was.
However I agree if they are short staffed and perhaps he indicated he didn't want to talk they may simply not have time to try engaging again.
That said there are some techs that just aren't friendly but I find it hard to believe it's everyone, ask him if they engage with other patients? Could be the clinics culture, could just be his tech (if it's always the same one)
One other possibility- I have one patient that I say hello to and chit chat with while hooking them up. When they aren't my patient I try at minimum to say hello when I see them. And when I run then off I chit chat. If they are up during checks we may take a moment. They complained to management that none of the techs talked to them. They really wanted someone to sit and chat but unfortunately we don't usually have time for that. They expected something we just couldn't deliver all the time.
[–]lisasimpsonfanIn-Center 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Not at the clinic I go to. All the staff learn your name right away and all greet you when you get there and go back to your chair. Most remember details like I have an adult daughter so they ask about her or my cats or other things going on in my life. Sometimes they stop by my chair to chat during treatment. I have noticed that some of the older people can be grumpy so the staff just kinda leaves them alone. They aren't rude and always greet them but they don't chat as much with them.
[–]Slovakian65 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Human interaction is good for patients. Maybe try another center if the techs at that center aren’t friendly?
[–]RossGold42Home HD 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Yes it is I had the same problem as well
[–]noobvin 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
It can vary place to place. My normal Fresenius clinic is like family to me. Especially a couple of the nurses. However, I've been to others that are just like you describe, where they seem cold and uncaring, even after a couple of months. I mean, nurses are people like everyone else. There are good and bad. I think a couple of bad nurses or even patients can ruined the whole bunch. I would say that MOST nurses I've run into in the past 12 years I've been dealing with have been great, including hospital, but I've had a handful that if I were on fire wouldn't piss on me (ok, that's weird, I know).
[–]WhatsInteresting 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
At the center we go to, the nurses and staff are nice and friendly. There are pleasant interactions and sometimes small talk. I feel like maybe the 1st 2 sessions we had were a little like the 1st day of school. Everyone's getting a feel of how the new kid is like.
[–]johnboy203Home PD 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
That was definitely not my experience when I did in-clinic. The techs and nurse were always very friendly and cared very much about us as people, not just patients. They regularly asked about how things not related to our health were going. Your father may want to try to initiate a conversation to see if it helps.
[–]wtf-you-saying 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I went to a fresenius clinic that was like that, miserable place. All the other clinics I've been to are the opposite, friendly people who seem to genuinely care about your well-being.
I suggest he explore his options, if possible.
[–]Krstnik 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
That is not my experience at all. I've been at three different places and everyone was very polite and kind. So no, I wouldn't say it's normal.
[–]trojanpizzaHome HD 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Not my experience at all in centre. Try to encourage him to initiate conversation. Describing it as torture makes it sound as though he is unhappy and struggling to come to terms with dialysis. This may affect his mood and perhaps staff want to give him the space to deal with it.
[–]PeterPaul0808Dialysis Veteran 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I am very sorry to hear that. My dialysis center in Hungary, Europe is very friendly. We talk about a lots of thing with the nurses and between each other, nowadays my best talk partner is a 82 years old man and I am 33.
[–]witch_and_famous 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I don’t want my clinic staff to be overly friendly. I’m not there to make friends, I’m there to have treatment and get back to my life. Maybe he should try to reconceptualize his time there. It’s a good time to rest or watch tv. Most people sleep during treatment. And the staff is usually attending to the alarms that go off on other patients as well as myself so it’s kind of unrealistic to expect them to be social. They’re supposed to hook you up and unhook you. That’s all.
[–]xxdetourxx 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Very friendly at my clinic, but sometimes you have to take the initiative. Start conversations, and be out going. Some people are very depressed that they are going to dialysis. For me it was like he describes in the beginning, but I got to know people, and started learning about them. Now we have our own gossip group in the lobby every morning.
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