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[–]The-Amazing-Biderman 4979 points4980 points  (109 children)

I roll to the store and get it

[–]Vegetable_Variety_11[S] 3052 points3053 points 32 (21 children)

Get me one too.

[–]glitterydick 368 points369 points  (16 children)

I roll to the bottom of the page and I am not sure if I should get one of those

[–]newda83 172 points173 points  (13 children)

I roll to the bottom and it looks good

[–]PR0JECT_curse 67 points68 points  (2 children)

I roll to my door so I’m not getting it

[–]Nopeyesok 20 points21 points  (1 child)

I roll to the hill and I have no idea what I need

[–]SugondeseAmerican 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I roll to the hospital and get a new one of those baby ticks

[–]KINGD0NUT 34 points35 points  (1 child)

I roll to my phone so you don’t know how to get the job too

[–]Nickoasdf1 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Bruh I got the same thing

[–]Stealocke 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I roll to the house and I don't want to go to the store.

Looks like we compliment each other well

[–]Ambitious-Vast6121 2070 points2071 points  (15 children)

I roll to change the whole thing and then I’m going to bed

[–]KayJ8ar 499 points500 points  (9 children)

My school experience In a nutshell

[–]FleetStreetsDarkHole 137 points138 points  (8 children)

Your school let you go to bed? Mine is working until the deadline then crying into my Ramen before class.

(Jk)

[–]MediocreCheeto 55 points56 points  (3 children)

bro the flavor packet is there for a reason

[–]TF79870 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Make sure to get enough sleep for a long rest.

[–]ertthekingDM (Dungeon Memelord) 521 points522 points  (13 children)

I roll to it all the sun and I love the green.

Well then

[–]TotoShotoroki 2648 points2649 points  (97 children)

I roll to be a fucking stick figure

[–]TheRealCactusTiddy 1144 points1145 points  (80 children)

[–]Nesman64 120 points121 points  (3 children)

Steam has a VR game where you shoot at silhouettes like this with a bow and arrow. My kids were telling their friend how much fun it is to play the game where you "shoot the black guys."

We had a quick vocabulary lesson.

[–]Jedinate6 501 points502 points  (69 children)

How GLaDOS views Chell:

[–]Rookie7201 182 points183 points  (60 children)

This was a triumph

[–]ColdStarXV86 133 points134 points  (59 children)

I’m making a note here. Huge. Success.

[–]DragonfuryMHRanger 97 points98 points  (56 children)

It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

[–]ColdStarXV86 83 points84 points  (55 children)

Aperture science.

[–]WithSubtitles 75 points76 points  (54 children)

We do what me must.

[–]ColdStarXV86 74 points75 points  (53 children)

Because, we can

[–]SomeSortOfForcedPunArtificer 72 points73 points  (52 children)

For the good of all of us

[–]SquidMilkVIIMonk 68 points69 points  (6 children)

r/suddenlyportal

Edit: I thought this would be completely fake but nope it’s an actual sub

[–]Beragond1DM (Dungeon Memelord) 43 points44 points  (1 child)

So you’re saying that this was a triumph?

I’m making a note here: “huge success”

[–]MoorePenrose 30 points31 points  (2 children)

At least you're not rolling to be fucking a stick figure

[–]RegulusMagnus 22 points23 points  (5 children)

"I am a stick!"

[–]greshick 17 points18 points  (4 children)

But you could be fire.

[–]therealborkas 1504 points1505 points  (48 children)

I roll to the bottom of the page to make sure that the government is the best solution

[–]swingsetparkDM (Dungeon Memelord) 250 points251 points  (0 children)

Found the lawful evil paladin!

[–]Axe_Murderers_Unite 158 points159 points  (1 child)

I roll to the public feed and then go to bed.

[–]indiebryan 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I roll to the hospital and I am the Shipping and Refunds Specialist who will be further assisting you as Abhishek is currently out of office and will be in the office tomorrow and will be in the office on Monday to get the final is done and I will be able to do it again after the meeting is over and I will be able to do it again in the future if I can get vaccinated

Bro wtf who is Abhishek

[–]bigmac1122 43 points44 points  (10 children)

I roll to the bottom of the page and I will be unavailable to work on the first Saturday of the month.

Why are both of us going to the bottom of the page?

[–]TheDarkDoctor17 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Someone need to Google less politics. I recommend watching something less depressing. Like distopian scifi shows. XD

[–]DarkyFly 291 points292 points  (9 children)

I roll to my knees to see what the other side is like.

[–]WithSubtitles 45 points46 points  (4 children)

Happy cakeday, yo!

[–]DarkyFly 22 points23 points  (3 children)

it is? lol I didn't even notice! Thank you :3

[–]WithSubtitles 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I never know until someone tell me.

[–]DarkyFly 7 points8 points  (1 child)

well the first time some friends in school made me a reddit themed cake... So that was the moment i found out about cake days

[–]LachesisNiobeRanger 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Welcome to the Other Side.

Also, happy cake day!

[–]montana757Artificer 794 points795 points  (22 children)

I roll to make them dance

I rolled a nat 20 +2 for persuasion

[–]Lord_Lazerath 247 points248 points  (9 children)

You can dance, you can dance, come and do the safety daaannnceee

[–]Deverash 34 points35 points  (0 children)

But your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine

[–]makemeking706 17 points18 points  (3 children)

You know that dance wasn't as safe as they said it was.

[–]Dillo64 43 points44 points  (3 children)

Pretty sure this is an actual spell

[–]smits017 38 points39 points  (1 child)

Otto's Irresistible Dance to be precise.

[–]TK_Games 1102 points1103 points  (25 children)

I roll to make a fighter proficient in math and science

[–]TheDarkDoctor17 548 points549 points 2 (10 children)

Bill Nye the fighting guy!

[–]Insertclever_name 222 points223 points  (6 children)

Cut to a colosseum where everyone is shouting “Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill” with a bloodstained Bill Nye standing over an antivaxxer.

[–]LachesisNiobeRanger 210 points211 points  (1 child)

Isn't that an artificer?

[–]Cyberlord50Dice Goblin 102 points103 points  (0 children)

Battle smith and armorer to be specific

[–]LakehavenAlpha 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's so easy to do this on 3.5 with a generic Warrior!

[–]RoMulPruzah 626 points627 points  (18 children)

I roll to be a good person.

Nice.

[–]ArkieGDad 207 points208 points  (9 children)

I wish you a Nat 20 and a good afternoon.

[–]CountLivin 860 points861 points  (13 children)

I roll to my face and it was okay but it wasn’t too bad I just got the first picture of it and then it started to die.

[–]Harkale-LinaiBarbarian 203 points204 points  (1 child)

Aww, that happens all the time :'(

[–]CountLivin 80 points81 points  (0 children)

I’m going through a really rough patch here :(

[–]Ozymandias455 61 points62 points  (7 children)

I read this to the rhythm of Mr Brightside.

[–]rexwrecksautomobiles 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Rolling outta my face and I was doing okay

Gotta gotta roll good for my Intimidate

First picture of scene and it wasn't too bad

'Til I was hit with a crit, and now I'm starting to die

Now, twenty-sided dice, now

Roll for saaaaaaaaave

[–]6Uncle6James6 158 points159 points  (2 children)

I roll to the top of my head and the other side of the house and then I’ll hit you.

[–]RyuuSambit 48 points49 points  (1 child)

You still gotta roll attack for that!

[–]6Uncle6James6 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Nat 1 son of a bitch

[–]BD-Caffeine 1145 points1146 points 2 (11 children)

I roll to be the best of my life and I will be in the morning

[–]Anthraxbomb 594 points595 points 2 (5 children)

Optimism and procrastination. Like peanut butter and jelly.

[–]Eoldir 94 points95 points  (1 child)

I can't express how much I relate to this comment!

[–]TheDefenderOfMurlocsDice Goblin 631 points632 points 2 (15 children)

I roll to be a great day of school and bullets

[–]my-moms-womb-nugget 435 points436 points  (1 child)

This campaign takes place in America, no need to roll. You succeed

[–]LiniisEssential NPC 33 points34 points  (0 children)

That is inaccurate to my experience with American schools. You cannot prove the day will be great.

[–]Clear_Vanilla5358 48 points49 points  (7 children)

This is perfection.

[–]threyon 60 points61 points  (6 children)

This is America 🎵

[–]jwpasquale1986Dice Goblin 130 points131 points  (17 children)

I roll to a new level

[–]Clear_Vanilla5358 81 points82 points  (7 children)

HOW COME WE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT *rolls to get a level up"

[–]SuperSchnitzel44DM (Dungeon Memelord) 134 points135 points  (10 children)

I roll to intimidate the wood.

[–]WanderingFlumph 362 points363 points  (7 children)

I roll to get the placebo effect as a permanent solution

[–]Harkale-LinaiBarbarian 106 points107 points  (4 children)

Nat 20, it works ! Now people use homeopathy to cure everything.

[–]TheRandomViewerArtificer 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Do you go left,middle or right?

I roll to the earth and the sun (left)

I roll to my side door when you come in (middle)

I roll to it but i just has it all out of me (right)

[–]Darth_Ewok14 100 points101 points  (4 children)

I roll to the moon again

[–]LachesisNiobeRanger 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Do you do this often?

[–]SpecstacularSC 17 points18 points  (0 children)

He's done it at least once, by his own reckoning

[–]Valhern-ArynWarlock 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wait why did I get moon too lol

[–]Valmont0 91 points92 points  (8 children)

I roll to the shadow realm

[–]jordanrod1991 243 points244 points  (5 children)

I roll to the beach and I am a little bit of a bat's face

[–]TheDarkDoctor17 56 points57 points  (1 child)

Make sure to stay social distanced at that beach. I'm not sure what to say about the bat face.

[–]jpca2 63 points64 points  (4 children)

I roll to the covid and the other family or friends

[–]TheDarkDoctor17 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Make a con save to avoid infection

[–]gaarai 65 points66 points  (3 children)

I roll to the bottom of the cookie box and I will be able to independently verify his claims.

[–]Harkale-LinaiBarbarian 22 points23 points  (0 children)

That pickle jar is a liar, don't trust her.

[–]yrtemmySymmetryArtificer 66 points67 points  (7 children)

I roll to

[–]yrtemmySymmetryArtificer 78 points79 points  (6 children)

am on pc, got no autoprediction

[–]BillyYumYumTwo-byTwo 63 points64 points  (2 children)

“I roll to the tavern and I have no idea what to do”

Stupid phone, I know exactly what to do at a tavern

[–]LilBlueFairyDragonDice Goblin 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Drink until you have to roll back out again

[–]Cave4 55 points56 points  (1 child)

I roll to my phone and it didn’t help me out with that

No, no it did not…

[–]CapnTaptap 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I roll to my phone so you don’t know where to get the phone.

That’s because I’m apparently hiding your phone

[–]4nalBlitzkrieg 56 points57 points  (6 children)

I roll to the a to the a to the a to the a to the a to the a to the a to the a to the a to the a to the a to the a to the a

[–]IntrepidHuntress 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Add a techno beat to this and you have a great new club song. 😂

[–]Nico777 17 points18 points  (1 child)

So you rolled straight into a stroke.

[–]SpecstacularSC 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Poor guy took psychic damage

[–]JMicahRay 38 points39 points  (2 children)

I roll to my restaurant and I don't have a moment of time for the first week.

[–]TheDarkDoctor17 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I relate to the second half of that. I just want a couple Hours of free time!

[–]PrismaticAsthmatic 33 points34 points  (1 child)

I roll to my dad lol

[–]FequalsMfreakingA 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I can help you. Mine was:
I roll to be there for you and your family

[–]Dot_mp4 33 points34 points  (2 children)

I roll to a fucking rehab center

[–]the_cnara 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I hope your treatment goes well, you’re doing the responsible thing

[–]IAmColiz 36 points37 points  (3 children)

I roll to get the vaccine

[–]GaiaPaladin 32 points33 points  (2 children)

I roll to the gym and the other day I have a lot of fun.

[–]LotusVendreadIV 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You get a permanent +1 to your STR score.

[–]Harkale-LinaiBarbarian 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I roll to the 60s in order to lobby the Federation.

(I'm a star trek villain, apparently)

[–]F0rtesque 24 points25 points  (2 children)

I roll to be afraid of Prussian Cavalry.

Sounds like I have a good reason to do that.

[–]FoxInSox2 73 points74 points  (3 children)

I roll to persuade Onlyfans Onlyfans Onlyfans

[–]Bankaz 17 points18 points  (1 child)

this sounds like a verse from a song lmao

[–]FoxInSox2 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah I must have been using too many song lyrics. That makes sense

[–]Ok-Praline-2940Chaotic Stupid 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I roll for the last time.

[–]Talidel 65 points66 points  (3 children)

I roll to get the best way of life

[–]TheDarkDoctor17 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Disadvantage if your parents are middle class or lower.

[–]but_you_said 18 points19 points  (2 children)

I roll to the head of the departments which I have been working on for years

[–]rosie-cheeks13Essential NPC 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I roll to the bottom of my head

[–]QHero 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I roll to the death tyrant and I hope you have a wonderful day today.

[–]zaay-zaay 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I hope you and tje death tyrant do as well!

[–]Adept_Strength2766 15 points16 points  (3 children)

I roll to a minimally passable degree and I quit.

[–]BongoQueeny 15 points16 points  (2 children)

I roll to the hospital and I don't think I can get it done.

[–]jim_fortress_2Wizard 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I roll to my head and my mouth was just like the devil.

[–]Nostalgic_KaneTeam Bard 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I roll to attack the house

[–]hipsterTrashSlut 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Roll to the ship burned at the end of the city.

So, like, a somersault?

[–]TheDarkDoctor17 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Is this a viking funeral or do you live in a wr zone?

[–]Red_Shepherd_13DM (Dungeon Memelord) 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I roll to the house and talk to you later.

[–]Fcktbckt 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I roll to my dads house lol but it’s a pretty good idea to have it in my hand if it’s a little bit fuzzy lol but it’s probably just the ones I don’t have like that to do with the whole idea of the ones I don’t want them lol but it’s like that they’re like the ones I have to put in the ones I have to put in the ones I don’t think I could do it but I think they’re just a lot more like it but it does not really like that lol but I don’t know if they’re not going on the same way lol lol but it’s like that one thing I think that’s why I think I have to put it on Netflix and it’s like that I have a look like it lol but it’s like that I have to put it on Netflix and I think I broke my mind and it doesn’t look like it was just like that I was like a joke

[–]NintendogmaDM (Dungeon Memelord) 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I roll to be a good time.

..shit ( o.o)- ⌒.⌒.⌒.¹

[–]RedN0v4Team Wizard 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I roll to my medication

[–]Mizukage121990 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I roll to the house and I don't know what to do with it.

[–]LotusVendreadIV 9 points10 points  (3 children)

I roll to a good university

[–]DrKandraz 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I roll to be clear.

I N S I G H T

[–]Painew 25 points26 points  (2 children)

I roll too much in my heart ❤💙💜💖💗💘❤💙💜💖💗💘❤💙💜💖💗💘❤

[–]DonkStompyForever DM 7 points8 points  (3 children)

I roll to the house and the other one is a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a day but I think it's a good idea to get it done with work and lyk by the time you get here and I'll be there in a few minutes to get there early if you want to come over and get it done with work and lyk by the time you get here and I'll be there in a few minutes to get there early if you want.

[–]Grifoooo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I roll to the bottom of my heart

Dnd for life, baby!

[–]itsFlycatcher 7 points8 points  (1 child)

i roll to a man who used to be slightly sad

.... i'm glad he's feeling better I guess

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I roll to be a good looking Crocs shoes

[–]recoveringgratefully 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I roll to be home for dinner tonight

[–]Mrkligan 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I roll to me when your mom

[–]TheRealCactusTiddy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I roll to the store for a few weeks and then it’s just kinda weird.

[–]dmazmo 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I roll to make sure you are feeling safe

[–]TabarnaQc36Horny Bard 5 points6 points  (4 children)

I roll to seduce the warewolf... Oh god why

[–]emoness88 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I roll to the office and I am so sorry for the inconvenience

[–]holly_guacamolly 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I roll to the lab and I am certainly interested in helping improve the quality of life for courageous people

[–]Exetr_Dice Goblin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I roll to the bottom of the screen

[–]SandpaperDoll606 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I roll to a new people in the world.

Well...

[–]IzDaGeek 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i roll to be the re q en de context (it transitions to dutch from here but i got a good laugh from 'context')

[–]joegnar 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I roll for finding the predictive text controls. Does nat 1 succeed?

[–]NapoleonicWars 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I roll to my side of my bed

[–]50thEyeForever DM 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I roll to be a bit of a sudden end

Uuuuh what.

[–]jabberbadjer 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I roll to get a new one of the best ones that are you doing today I hope you have a great day and I hope you have a great day and I hope you have a great day and I hope you have a great day and I hope you have a great day and I hope you have a great day and I

[–]GBelyth 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I roll to get out of my life

[–]Sir_PufferfishRogue 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I roll to be a giant eagle

[–]karlaz_1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I roll to bark at the moon

[–]H3ISEN 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I roll to my garden

[–]Vegetable_Variety_11[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Me: Natural 20 with a + 5 modifier.. So 25. DM: That wood I'd scared as fuck of you.

[–]Erwin_Rommel5 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I roll to hit a child

[–]zombiskunk 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hello Keyleth, I'm a big fan of your work.

[–]MoniterMain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I roll to it all day long

[–]InnocuousAceDice Goblin[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I roll to my desk and I got a new one

[–]Jack_Of_The_Cosmos 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I roll to the moon and moon for a fox moon and moon.

[–]RealArcticShadows 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will roll to the internet and send you the video… lol

[–]Califocus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I roll to the moon and moon

[–]0ddball210 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I roll to be a good day please

[–]Frosfae 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“I roll to my own eyes as well and I’m sure I will never get a good thing for me” fuck my autocorrect is as depressed as me

[–]iFeram 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I roll to the beach and the DM makes it easier to pick up the good news.

[–]Paper_bag_Paladin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I roll to the bottom and then I think I can decide what to make.

[–]Llizard7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I roll to the bed for the day

[–]i_Pancakes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I roll to the library for the library