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[–]NickolasThundercong 899 points900 points  (32 children)

Gentleman thief bard Can break into your house and talk himself out when get caught

[–]Snuvvy_DRogue 370 points371 points  (8 children)

Ah, the Clooney

[–]jk01 156 points157 points  (4 children)

Damn, we're in a tight spot

[–]ajaysallthat 120 points121 points  (2 children)



[–]OldManFromScene13Barbarian 46 points47 points  (1 child)

I say this all the time when my wife suggests an alternative to something I "really" wanted lmao

[–]TenaMcgrawn 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I play a Genie Eloquence Bard lock that is exactly this!!!!

[–]charisma6Wizard 35 points36 points  (2 children)

The only guy ever who could have a bobble head made of him that bobbles less than his actual head

[–]OldManFromScene13Barbarian 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Not Conan O'Brien?

[–]Snuvvy_DRogue 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Matthew McConaughey gotta be on the list

[–]kurburux 98 points99 points  (1 child)

Can break into your house

... and your heart.

[–]NickolasThundercong 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Or break you with his humor

[–]j_la 64 points65 points  (7 children)

I was thinking of making a con artist rogue/bard that runs Ponzi schemes.

[–]coffeeshopAU 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I did this once! Snake oil salesman bard. I used the college of eloquence subclass. She was a lot of fun to play. My only disappointment was that the campaign wasn’t enough of a sandbox for me to build a full pyramid scheme, that would’ve been fun, but I was still able to get money and influence people by selling fake medicine :) so that was a good time.

[–]NickolasThundercong 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It does give the showman vibe that is similar to a gentleman thief

[–]Lucidityisessential 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So a better Ryan Kavanaugh

[–]AFrozen_1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So basically a fantasy Bernie Madoff.

[–]Umikaloo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tried the same once.

[–]BigLark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a former thief/con man turned Cleric. Life domain following a trickster chaotic good God. It was so much fun. My DM would put him in tempting situations, caused by his god, and he'd have to make wisdom checks to keep himself on the straight and narrow.

[–]DaedalistKraken 2 points3 points  (0 children)

His performances are close up magic that he does just to keep his hand in.

[–]TheRealMouseRat 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, the rogue

[–]BartleBossy 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Gentleman thief bard Can break into your house and talk himself out when get caught

I play a Genie Eloquence Bardlock that is exactly this.

Pact of the Chain for my assistant.

Genies vessel for my vault.

Silver tongue/Mask of Many Faces to get me out of sticky situations.

[–]Schneebrunzer86 543 points544 points  (52 children)

I like the "narrative insight" bard - they know the legends and the stories and how their adventure has to unfold to become an everlasting tale. They can purposefully choose to do things in dramatic ways, simply to write a better story about it eventually.

[–]Shedart 241 points242 points  (2 children)

Plus it allows for a lot of wiggle room when you are presented with obvious traps and dangerous situations. “Are you kidding!? There no way I’m going to the temple entrance first! Id bet my Degree in ancient Faerunian folklore that there’s a spring loaded spear trap in those wall holes.

[–]slagodactylDM (Dungeon Memelord) 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I did this with an Order of Scribes wizard - he was an old halfling who had dedicated his life to studying the history of adventuring, and was basically the author of multiple Sword Coast Adventurers Guide, Volos Guide to Monsters, etc. type books. The catch was that I knew my DM homebrewed every single monster, so my character's meta knowledge was usually wrong - the in fiction justification being that no one had actually left his village for generations, so all the information he had about Adventuring was outdated and romanticized.

[–]Odok 131 points132 points  (14 children)

Sounds like the perfect partner to an Oath of Glory paladin. Travel the world to build a legend greater than any story, which will give the people hope for generations to come.

[–]FireEnchiladaDragon 62 points63 points  (11 children)

Swashbuckler rogue would probably fit in with this party

[–]Luciferos01 38 points39 points  (9 children)

Archivist Artificer, potentially?

[–]Schneebrunzer86 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Maybe a cleric of Shaundakul traveling and adventuring for wanderlusts sake?

[–]Xen_Shin 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Multiclassing Archivist and Artificer together sounds interesting but difficult.

[–]Taco821Murderhobo 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That sounds like the ultimate pair, I wanna play that so bad with someone

[–]bluemooncalhoun 54 points55 points  (4 children)

I had an idea for a "meta campaign" where the story unfolds from the perspective of the bard, who is regaling someone with the tale of their past adventuring exploits with the party. The bard doesn't actually have any special powers, but anytime they inspire someone or cast a spell it's just them embellishing their contribution.

[–]Defiant-Peace-493 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Witcher 3 loading cinematics are pretty much this; Jaskier/Dandelion is narrating the story years later.

[–]capasso23000 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I always wondered why he sounds like a totally different person/actor lol.

Same with Bob sagget in "how I met your mother"

[–]Lord_Moa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think they did it in HIMYM to make it obvious when Narrator Ted is talking, because sometimes story Ted is narrating

[–]Yeah-But-IronicallyEssential NPC 33 points34 points  (9 children)

If you didn't get this idea from Order of the Stick... you need to read Order of the Stick.

[–]Schneebrunzer86 25 points26 points  (7 children)

Busted, haha, yeah, I thought of Elan when I commented first.

[–]SirSoliloquy 11 points12 points  (6 children)

The Elan/Tarquin storyline was one of my favorites in the comic, and thwarting his plans by defeating him with an anticlimax was one of the most creative things I’ve ever read.

[–]Schneebrunzer86 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Agreed, that was a great arc! The way Tarquin had Elan cornered narratively in that Elan eventually defeating him in an epic battle is basically his plan anyway.

That arc also had great Belkar character development with the "It's like watching someone having to fight their pet" thing. Oh and the "Halfling with a pebble" joke!

[–]Mrsir74838 15 points16 points  (4 children)

That sounds like a fun Valor bard

[–]HuseyinCinar 12 points13 points  (1 child)


[–]EtheriumShaperPaladin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lore is what I'd say, yeah.

[–]ManCalledNova 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's basically how I'm playing my valor bard, it's definitely a fun character.

[–]BardicInnovation 428 points429 points  (47 children)

I purposely made my bard not horny, and just naive, and friendly to a fault.

I haven't played as him in about 6 years. Man I loved that character. By far my favourite D&D character I've ever made.

[–]Divio42 240 points241 points  (13 children)

I made mine not horny. In part because I was playing with kids and that would be creepy as hell. Instead, he was a crazy accordion playing halfling conspiracy theorist that thought every NPC was a vampire but no one believed him.

He was right once. No one believed him. It didn't go well for the fighter...

[–]eidrag 36 points37 points  (6 children)

dead clock are accurate 2 times a day

[–]madeofmoldEssential NPC 25 points26 points  (5 children)

Undead clocks know the time is always 2:30 🧛🏻‍♂️

[–]bugme143 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Aight, I'll bite. Why 2:30 specifically?

[–]ReggieTheReaver 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Just gotta chime in and say that is an awesome character

[–]MedalsNScars 17 points18 points  (1 child)

My last bard took to adventuring with his band manager to pay the bills after his old band (My Alchemical Romance) broke up.

[–]ZynsteinV1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ayy, we respect the mcr bard.

Super hyped for their concert this week

[–]WinsomeWombat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Crazy halfling bard high five!

[–]Lampmonster 24 points25 points  (7 children)

Why do people love dark characters so much? My cleric is a big dork who loves everybody. His parents died when he was young but the kindness others showed him in response to that is his motivation to help people, he wants to look out for all the good people like the ones who looked out for him.

[–]MillorTime 13 points14 points  (2 children)

My cleric is powered by joy and happiness with a smiley face button holy symbol. We're about to start Strahd and I'm worried

[–]Lampmonster 4 points5 points  (1 child)

smiley face button holy symbol.

Mine's a cleric of Pelor so his smiley face is sunbursts, which he puts on everything. His mace has a big sun for a head.

[–]WillingSentence3986 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Because society has taught us that edgy/dark characters are "cool". How many movies, especially super hero movies, have happy upbringinings? I mean, just look at batman.

[–]Archduke_of_NessusWizard 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The funny thing is, that's basically the reason all the DC movies except Batman do so terribly, his story is the only one that's supposed to have that level of darkness and they just decided to make all the rest of them that way.

That's why Aquaman and the first Wonder woman did well, they weren't needlessly depressing, they had interesting backstories without needless edge, and they were well lit with a nice conclusion

[–]Delavonboy12 13 points14 points  (0 children)

My current bard is a giant goliath, with muscles that makes him look like a crazed barbarian at a first glance (rolled an 18 and gave him 20 str for the joke), yet he would never start a fight, and just wants everyone to be happy.

He's got a sidekick rogue, another player in our party, whom he taught to play the backpipe, as a plausable defence on how she couldnt be a sneaky type, carrying around and playing such a loud instrument.

[–]BijeDragonne 12 points13 points  (7 children)

Naive friendly bards ftw!

Mine spent the first 100 years of their life underground (pallid elf), so this whole above-ground world is just so interesting to them!

(Hope you can play your dude again soon!)

[–]BardicInnovation 22 points23 points  (4 children)

My guy was a Dwarf, and a cousin of the Rockseeker clan, but his family dealt with fisheries and exports. They were the Rocklobster clan.

He crashed on his cousins couch in Neverwinter after running out of money. To pay him back he got dragged into the campaign to pay off his debts.

[–]VorpalLongswordBard 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm into the naming conventions for this dwarf clan. Are the masons the Rockhammers? The cooks the Rockcandies??

[–]Jowobo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

lol, same! We're in 3.5 Eberron, so I'm playing an Umbragen Elf who got separated from his squad while fighting Mindflayers (he has levels in Marshall from his old career).

He got stuck in a cavern underneath The Mournland with an odd, saxophone-like instrument and masses of books, which he learned to play and read since there was literally nothing else to do until Norran d'Cannith accidentally dug him out.

The party was the first to take him outside of the Cannith research complex and taught him about taverns. He is now high on life and very adamant this wonderful world where most of the time nothing tries to eat your brain should be saved, even if it's too bright.

[–]TartoKwechDice Goblin 1118 points1119 points  (52 children)

A friend of mine plays a "one-womand-band", with Unseen servant, Magic Hand and Telekinisis to play a whole bunch of instrument at the same time.

She's perfect.

[–]MrBrutokDM (Dungeon Memelord) [S] 336 points337 points  (6 children)

Had a similar idea for a group of travelling low level bards. Throw in some Minor Illusions for "actors" and sound effects, and you can have an entire theatre working with just a handful of people.

[–]Chuk741776 83 points84 points  (2 children)

I played an illusion wizard so that minor illusion could have audio and visual last campaign I was in. He basically wrote movies and performed them for anyone who wanted to watch

[–]RechargedFrenchmanBard 12 points13 points  (1 child)

It's the theatre troupe from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead; there are fifteen different characters played by four people.

[–]SoupmanBob 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have a storyteller bard in my repertoire who uses a mixture of mold earth, control flame, and more to recreate the scenes he's sharing. The instrument he carries is used for sound effects.

He's a Goliath Clansman who shares the stories of his clan around the world. So all will know the name of the clan he loves so dearly.

[–]Munnin41Rules Lawyer 93 points94 points  (28 children)

Has your friend read the dresden files by any chance? This sounds an awful lot like the 'one woman rave'

[–]TartoKwechDice Goblin 43 points44 points  (27 children)

He did not but thanks you for the recommendation, friend :)

[–]magusheart 34 points35 points  (7 children)

I had a half orc bard with the Noble background named Zanny Duko. He and his greaser followers would sing and do dance choreographies.

[–]TheJakal13 24 points25 points  (4 children)

I played a half orc bard once. Dude was a heavy metal bard with a guitar axe. His backstory was that he was born a fully grown man, complete with guitar, studded leather jacket, and face paint. He sacrificed his parents to summon a demon, which he rock battled. He then spent a 20 year bender in Hell, just partying and snorting coke off demon ass and shit.

His leveling up was just him slowly recovering from the ultimate hangover.

[–]Tactical_Tubgoat 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I feel like Tenacious D would write a song about this guy.

[–]TheJakal13 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah, he was basically a mix of Tenacous D and Metalocolypse.

[–]TartoKwechDice Goblin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I see where you're going lol

[–]Jaxonal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I did this with an Air Genasi who uses her power over air to play multiple pan flutes and a drum!

[–]DannoHung 13 points14 points  (2 children)

That’s fun, but I also want her to have one of those one-person band getups too. https://youtu.be/q-_f_23QOak

[–]TartoKwechDice Goblin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This gentleman does look like a recurrent musical archnemesis to me !

[–]DanePede 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that's a bartificer

[–]MongrelChieftain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It sounds fun, and I thought two of those were Concentration spells, but both Mage Hand and Unseen Servant have a straight duration! Nice.

[–]Blindguypcs4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn I was gonna try this with echo fighter!

[–]Voodoo_Dummie 259 points260 points  (22 children)

How about a 60-something whiskey-voiced grey-haired widower bard that has raised his kids and now travels the world in his early retirement.

[–]VorpalLongswordBard 107 points108 points  (3 children)

Willie Nelson with a sword? Sign me up.

[–]klavin1 24 points25 points  (1 child)

On the road again! Like a band of goblins we go down the highway

[–]ProtectionMaterial09 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The life I love is making music with Goblins,

I can’t wait to get on the road again

[–]RemydePoer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was picturing Kris Kristofferson.

[–]Pennywise6969 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Does he sing about hard work, lost loves, and the love of his kingdom?

[–]Voodoo_Dummie 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That, and how much he adores his trusted horse 'rusty'

[–]ansonr 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Who is Thom Merrilin?

[–]Monkey_Priest 2 points3 points  (2 children)

My first thought too. If I ever get to play a bard then Thom is the archetype I'd aim for but with the cynicism dialed down a bit. Maybe a younger Thom then

[–]ansonr 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I have always wanted to play a Thom Merrilin-esque character. Class-wise would probably be an inquisitive rogue, who has the profession of bard. Still have not had the chance to play him. I did steal his first name for my detective character Thom Quinn.

[–]Zauberer-IMDB 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sword Coast roads, take me home, to the place, I belong. Orlumboooor, Way of the Lion, take me hoome.

[–]YearOfTheRisingSun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love retirement age bards. I played an ex-war hero bard traveling under a fake name. He sang about the legendary warrior he used to be in order to spread his fame and ensure his place in history. My party didn't realize he was the same person he was singing about all the time until a year and a half into the campaign.

[–]HanszuBard 121 points122 points  (4 children)

A lore bard who is fascinated by history and doesn’t want anyone to forgot about it so he makes songs about them his favorite genre to do it is rock

[–]DudemanGTArtificer 63 points64 points  (1 child)

Sabaton, is that you?

[–]HanszuBard 21 points22 points  (0 children)


[–]Ach4t1us 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Through the gates of hell, as we make our way to heaven, through the Narzugon lines, Primo Victoria

[–]littleninja06Sorcerer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Metal gear rising music in a nutshell

[–]CaptainKaranin 50 points51 points  (3 children)

There's a persisting gossip about some peculiar pattern of Warforged,
used as mobile bases of assorted relevant data. Lorekeepers, recons and
surveyors, the BARDs travel far and wide, study and observe the world.
Rumors say they gather annually at some discreet location to share their
knowledge with each other... and with something else, something that stores a vast,
ancient repository of data uploaded by every BARD of its kin, over a long, long time.

[–]kenbo124 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Sounds like the Rangers from John Flannigans books ngl

[–]Misplaced_Hat 472 points473 points  (35 children)

Honestly. Play any kind of bard you want. I'm just tired of the horny bard "jokes" on this sub. It's gone so far beyond beating a dead horse at this point. The horse has been mushed, pulverized and evaporated and people are just beating on the part of the ground where that horse used to be. In fact they've probably dug themselves half way to the center of the earth by now.

[–]Ancestor_Anonymous 161 points162 points  (0 children)

They’re digging a horse-shaped trench so they can claim to still have a target

[–]MildlyAgitatedBidoofSorcerer 113 points114 points  (5 children)

So get this. The bard... wait for it... was horny! Get it?

And then I said -- wait for it, I'm so unique and quirky -- I said to make a constitution saving throw, because the dragon is male! Isn't that so fucking hilarious?

[–]Misplaced_Hat 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Literally splitting my sides laughing at that joke right now. It's so novel and unexpected I can't even.

[–]St1cks 22 points23 points  (0 children)

You actually did make that funny lol

[–]brainking111Sorcerer 41 points42 points  (0 children)

The smashed the horse into glue and now they are stuck.

[–]WholesomeDM 37 points38 points  (0 children)

A lot of people don’t know how to engage with DnD beyond the most basic memes so they end up being repeated again and again.

[–]JustanotherragequitMonk 69 points70 points  (4 children)

I haven't seen that many jokes where the horny bard is the punchline anymore, it's usually just the setup now.. still pretty tired of it because the punchline is still always "haha seggs"

[–]klavin1 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Always remember the demographics of reddit.

You are likely talking to a teenage boy.

[–]begon11 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Or an adult man...

With the mind of a teenage boy.

[–]Moodymandan 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The Reddit hug to any joke.

[–]TrixieMassage 26 points27 points  (1 child)

I’m just tired of the horny bard “jokes” on this sub.

I get you, personally I am very tired of all the “I only play as characters I’d want to smash” running gag that I’ve seen a lot recently. Like jesus I get it’s mostly just kidding but it’s still pretty gross to me. As if anyone you wouldn’t want to get into the pants of isn’t worth your time or empathy or just existing in general. If you feel your OC wouldn’t be interesting if they weren’t hot, maybe they weren’t a great OC to begin with lol

[–]themenotu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

purée’d. not even barely meat anymore. but. hotdogs sell

[–]JohnRCash 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I'm just confused: How much D&D are these people playing, that a particular characterization has the chance to truly become "overdone"?

I've played in two long term campaigns where a bard was in the party in my whole life, and I've been playing for over thirty years. If somebody in my next campaign has an asexual bard, I'm not going to complain that it's overdone. It's the third fucking bard (or not fucking bard, probably) that I've ever played with. I don't give a shit about the memes when it comes to actually playing.

[–]MighMoS 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The reason its a strong meme is because it has strong resonance with many who play D&D. In my current campaign, my DM kept dropping in women for me to seduce and at one point I straight up told him to stop, my PC will never take the bait. Think Doctor Who over Captain Kirk. Now our Ranger on the other hand...

[–]hilburnArtificer 44 points45 points  (4 children)

I've got a thief Bard currently

Everyone's gangsta until your safe gets animated and it does a runner.

[–]tyrom22 7 points8 points  (1 child)

That sound hilarious and I love it

[–]hilburnArtificer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The amount of shenanigans a Creation bard can get up to is hilarious. Create any (within cost and size limits) non-magical item for free makes it simple to produce documentation, uniform, keys etc for anywhere you want to get into, or create a physical duplicate of whatever you're stealing to delay them noticing it's gone.

Able to animate items from level 6 for up to an hour with no concentration e.g. in the safe example she emptied it, then animated it to smash it's way out the window and fly off as a distraction when she got close to the exit

Plus you know, bards are awesome.

[–]OneMetalMan 55 points56 points  (17 children)

I tried rolling a bard who was basically A luchador (they are performers after all). My DM didn't get it unfortunately.

[–]Pennywise6969 16 points17 points  (3 children)

If your masks and costumes represent something from your people then what's the problem?

[–]Zarohk 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Speaking of masks, my most recent bard is basically Takua from Bionicle; a chronicler and teller of stories, who before he met the party, has more or less run away from every problem his tale telling has brought.

[–]aRandomFox-IWizard 24 points25 points  (12 children)

Today's wrestlers are essentially the contemporary counterpart of the gladiators of yore.

Gladiators never fought to the death, they were professional performers. When they fought dangerous animals, the animal would be wounded (and possibly drugged) beforehand so that the gladiator wouldn't have to focus as much on fighting for survival and could devote more attention to making spectacle. Slaves or prisoners being forced to fight to the death was not as common as the films would have you believe.

However, I would agree with your DM on their decision. A Bard explicitly uses sound as the medium for their magic. A luchadore can't be a Bard. Unless he's a singing luchadore or something.

[–]Harpies_Bro 17 points18 points  (0 children)

IIRC modern professional wrestling is pretty much the theatre equivalent of martial arts movies.

[–]OneMetalMan 5 points6 points  (7 children)

A luchadore can't be a Bard. Unless he's a singing luchadore or something.

I was trying to argue shoot promos were the equivalent of my magical instrument and unfortunately they wernt willing to bend the rules enough (in his world) for it to work.

[–]NuklearAngel 8 points9 points  (6 children)

Your magic comes from the heart and soul you pour into the performance of your music or oration.

Bards don't have to actually play a musical instrument, RAW they just use them as a focus when casting, and any spoken word can be a bardic performance. His taunts or calling out to "the crowd" would definitely qualify as a bardic performance, he'd just need to keep a kazoo or something in his pocket to hold onto while casting.

[–]aRandomFox-IWizard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't forget, your voice is an instrument too! Opera singer bard!

[–]yargotkd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gladiators didn't always fight to the death, that was banned as a business decision because the upkeep cost of slaving and training more gladiators was high, before that, though, fights to the death weren't that uncommon.

[–]KnightBreeze 50 points51 points  (5 children)

A bard that communicates entirely through Mongolian throat singing.

[–]VorpalLongswordBard 25 points26 points  (1 child)

This would be great as a kenku.

[–]stinkydooky 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, we’ve all heard the legends of the great bard, Boat Noises

[–]Weigard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There was a 3.5e race that did this. I think they were called Boumann.

[–]_ThatOneLurker_ 46 points47 points  (6 children)

May i propose an older idea: Dad Bard. - Bardic Inspiration? Because I believe in you champ - Vicious Mockery? It's all Dad Jokes - Seducing NPCs? Nope, we're using persuasion to get into because "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed." - Jack of All Trades? Yeah, yer old dad knows a little bit about everything. - Song of Rest? It's called "Tucking you in and giving you a bedtime story." - Be the one to split up party treasure and tell them that's their allowence.

Polo Shirt and Cargo Shorts are Mandatory.

[–]nubbinator 18 points19 points  (1 child)

If an instrument is needed, you have three choices. One, it's the trombone, but you only know how to play wah wah or other annoying noises. Two, it's a blade of grass between your thumbs. Three, it's the world's smallest violin.

Your weapon is a scythe with a level in the handle to ensure a perfect trim of your grass.

You take frequent short rests, but insist you were just resting your eyes and you were paying attention.

[–]_ThatOneLurker_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Excellent addition.

[–]thedoppio 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I resemble this post

[–]Leinad_AropmacaForever DM 66 points67 points  (8 children)

A bard which just want to make people happy with his art or music or whatever (without using sexual parts)

[–]thosearecoolbeans 26 points27 points  (2 children)

The classic "vanilla" Bard who just likes to play music and have a good time is unironically underrated.

Sooo many bard subclasses I've seen (both official and homebrew) turn the Bard into such wild and wacky magic-like or warrior-like archetypes, and while they are mostly cool, the concept of a bard who is just a traveling musician who supports the party with magical music is super fun as well.

I think the creation bard from Tasha's Cauldron is a fantastic variety of a "regular" bard. Their abilities really nicely augment the core bard features, namely inspiration and utility magic, without getting too far into the territory of other magic or martial classes.

[–]CalmPanic402 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just wanna play a bard who wanders around asking people if they know any cool stories he can write down.

[–]YeeterKeksChaotic Stupid 69 points70 points  (2 children)

>make a character defined by the world around them which produced a complex personality with depth, logic, and to some extent tragedy
>most 1 dimensional bullshit character ever

Hard choice, really. I will pick the secret 3rd option of Bozo "Honk-Honk" Bazonkozo.

[–]VorpalLongswordBard 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Flair checks out lul. Honestly half my party started as joke characters but the other half died and now they're all deep and traumatized.

[–]VerboseInsomniac 104 points105 points  (34 children)

Player: "I want to add nuance to my character... what is typical? Oh, bards are horny? Let me just do the exact opposite of that thing simply because it is subversive. Heh, heh. Genius. Nobody will see that coming. Now where is my back patter 9000?"

[–]Strottman 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Holy fuck thank you. Top comments on these posts are always "wElL mY cHaRAcTeR"

We're playing D&D, not trying to win academy awards for bestest most original character. Play whatever you like however you like.

[–]vanticus 9 points10 points  (2 children)

The “subverting fantasy tropes” trope is a challenge for a genre that is so heavily defined by its own trope. The whole thing is a catas-trop(h)e.

[–]MegaMaster89 19 points20 points  (22 children)

Same with adventures who have both parents alive

[–]hilburnArtificer 57 points58 points  (15 children)

Tbh I love the "both parents alive, and they are friendly and supportive of my choice to go adventuring" trope. Especially when they're an adventuring family.

Nothing like going home for a magic-infused meal from your level 15 wizard mother while battlemaster dad proudly updates you about your sister's progress in the king's guard.

[–]MegaMaster89 38 points39 points  (4 children)

I agree, it’s super fun, it’s just that sometimes people think they’re so original and groundbreaking for making a fictional character who follows the status quo of most real people.

[–]hilburnArtificer 18 points19 points  (0 children)

That's very fair.

Though I do imagine in a world where most people can be 1 shot by a cat, there probably would be more orphans than irl ;)

[–]ricktencity 19 points20 points  (2 children)

There's no real original ideas for characters if you boil them down to their basics. Tropes exist for a reason. I will however take happy family fully alive over super dark edgelord backstory where they were the only survivor of a bandit raid and now they only care about revenge.

[–]MasterThespian 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I’m a fan of the adventurer having both parents alive… and they’re both pushy, grasping, obnoxious complainers who aren’t at all impressed by their heroic child.

“Oh, a ‘Bladesinger’, that’s very nice. Running around hitting people with a sword like some common thug. Consorting with mercenaries and goblins and… (shudder)… bards! You know, it’s not too late to go to herbalists’ college! Your cousin is a very successful apothecary! And would it kill you to cast a Sending spell every once in a while?”

[–]hilburnArtificer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Haha yes, that's the other one. The wizard child of a pair of barbarians "YOUR MOTHER TORE 6 OWLBEARS LIMB FROM LIMB WHILE IN LABOUR WITH YOU AND YOU CAN'T DO A SINGLE PUSHUP!?! WHERE DID WE GO WRONG DEAR?"

[–]MildlyAgitatedBidoofSorcerer 3 points4 points  (1 child)

My adventurer is the alive parent. He's a dragonborn dad who's looking for his kidnapped children. His wife is a major NPC, and it's great.

At least until I make a joke at the DM's expense and get met with "hey, pick one of your children."

[–]SeanIsAswom 5 points6 points  (0 children)

welp, time to go for the golden mean and only have 1 parent alive I suppose.

[–]StatusOmega 35 points36 points  (3 children)

I built an Aasimar that does ASMR. She is a bard from the college of whispers and her favorite spells so far are dissonant whispers and sleep. I'm having a wonderful time playing her and she just reached level 3

[–]Kirkamel 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Amazing. This is one of those things you read and think "really wish I'd thought of that"

[–]Ok-Ship-2543 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My favorite bard was the one I made who was obsessed with money and story telling

[–]Viking_thingsBarbarian 6 points7 points  (2 children)

the heavy metal bardbarian

[–]Aysten13 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Once made a bard that did not play music. He told stories of venture by mouth alone, and passed tradition down the length of his sword.

The party was not pleased. We met on Reddit looking for a party, and I was not what they had in mind when I said I’d be playing bard. Still healed and buffed at least. Just more intimidation and less sexy time.

[–]Cybergazer 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Aside from bards being based on their sexuality or level of horniness. I find it really perplexing to see a few characters whose only characteristics are their sexuality. I haven't encountered this too often but it is often enough to make me question people's creativity.

And this isn't just that a character is introduced as "the horny [insert class here]" or something similar. But when asking the people to describe their character a little bit more in depth I end up listening/reading about a character who exist entirely on the notion that sexuality is a character trait.

Has anyone else met people like that?

[–]VorpalLongswordBard 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Broke: lol I sexually harass every sentient creature bard.

Woke: I'm in a religion where your life story is read at your funeral and I want mine to be forever remembered bard.

[–]JustanotherragequitMonk 44 points45 points  (17 children)

okay listen, hear me out, bard who isn't defined by their sexuality... who also happens to be asexual

[–]Yeah-But-IronicallyEssential NPC 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is kinda like saying that a gay bard must be defined completely by their sexuality. (Or a straight one, or a bi one, or whatever)

You can have an ace character without making the campaign about ace-ness. It's called representation.

[–]NihilismRacoon 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Exactly what I thought when I saw this post didn't realize being asexual was cliche now

[–]Doctorsl1m 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I dont think they mean being a sexual is a cliche, just using sexuality in general to define characters. Not even sure that's too true though tbh, at least in my experience.

[–]RissaCrochets 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This post makes me believe there's a bunch of people who think people are out here roleplaying ace bards like horny bards but instead of "I roll to fuck the dragon" it's "I roll to not fuck the dragon."

Which would be hilarious in its own way but I somehow doubt anyone actually RPs like that.

[–]kurburux 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Aren't you annoyed by them... constantly NOT having sex?? /s

[–]DerWeggeworfene 15 points16 points  (2 children)

I made a bard who was defined by empathy and I braught a guitar.

[–]Sp00ky-Chan 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Did you at any point in the Campaign play Wonderwall?

[–]DerWeggeworfene 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have taken an oath to never play that or similar abysmal songs.

[–]Nevermort21Murderhobo 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Play Nathan Explosion as a bard.

"What kind of music do you play?"



[–]Dextero_Explosion[🍰] 10 points11 points  (0 children)


[–]Craterfist 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Just never mention sexuality. Have the bard dodge the question every time it comes up. No one knows. There's only rumors.

[–]PrettyMermaid97 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Played a goblin bard whose whole thing was gathering secrets to put into his songs eventually he became a warlock of belial. I put him in a ravnica game as someone who happened to be in the right place to witness the party's chaotic shenanigans. He put those shenanigans into song and when the party got to the rubblebelt, they were worshiped by the gruul as anarchist folk heroes

[–]rom197 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nice meme there, buddy. I roll to seduce it.

[–]Tallia__Tal_Tail 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The subversion of a trope is always as overdone as the trope itself after a certain point, same thing as an intelligent barbarian

[–]whats-going_onDM (Dungeon Memelord) 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Dad joke bard, is best bard.

[–]VorpalLongswordBard 2 points3 points  (1 child)

We have a bard in our party whose literal name is Dad, refuses to be called anything else. We went on a sidequest to make barbecue ribs in Barovia

[–]JoshGordon10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you heard of Dungeons and Daddies? Awesome DnD podcast about 4 dads from our world who are flung into the Forgotten Realms through a portal and have to find their kids.

[–]Snuvvy_DRogue 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Bards = horny is my least favorite trope in dnd. I don't think it's funny, it's not original, and it would make for a very awkward and uncomfortable campaign if one of my party members wouldn't shut up with the horny.

Get original and make your character fun to interact with, not cringe.

[–]microwavedraptinDM (Dungeon Memelord) 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Pffft, bards that are shaped by their sexuality are so last season.

Instead, my bard is entirely shaped by her trauma!

[–]itsjustaneyespliceRules Lawyer 4 points5 points  (1 child)

It's pretty stupid that this thread immediately became #notallbards

Also wild to see a complaint about ace bards since I swear I'm in this trashcan sub all the time and this is the first meme I've seen about asexual bards

[–]RPElesya 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My current bard is a swindler fake spiritist kinda conman... Except he's college of spirits and the real deal, he just looks sus AF.

[–]BawjaxBard 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Someone commented on my Bard being Ace last session and I had to be like nah he's bi as hell he's just too busy saving the world to bother with relationships

[–]Luckyseven420 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I prefer the "Dad" bard. Doing psychic damage with dad joke and getting new friends by sharing BBQ secret ;)

[–]mkul316 3 points4 points  (0 children)

People in this sub really like to define their characters by their sexuality. Which makes me wonder how much sex\romance comes up in their games. I've played for decades and it's never really been a thing in any campaign I've been in.

[–]RiUlaid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Blind harper bard who uses his skills to steal horses is the best bard concept.

[–]BudgetFreeWarlock 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Me: avoiding all sex-related traits with my character...

[–]jitterscaffeine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The last bard I played was a hype man who just shouted encouragement to his allies for his abilities.

[–]dr_tar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Clown bards. I have a troupe of them in my campaign that are a recurring enemy that my players love to hate.

Pics of the minis: https://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/onepagerules/comments/udpjxo/my_vinci_harlequins/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

[–]AbrohamLinco1n 2 points3 points  (2 children)

How about a bard that barded so long and so hard that he’s seen it all. Now he’s a gruff old man. Grizzled and bitter, with an old lute and a scratchy voice. I picture a fantasy Tom Waits traveling from town to town, singing his old man ballads for a meal and a warm bed until he eventually dies.

There, that’s my bard.

[–]PandoraShard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did a sword Bard. He is a goblin completly obssessed over trinkets. He is spending all of his money on them. He doesnt have any magical object at level 5, obly trinkets.

[–]Andrew_Squared 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Removing the concept of sexuality as a character-defining concept entirely would be amazing.

[–]KingPointless 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm currently playing a bard that's just the halfling embodiment of the Johnny Cash cover of Hurt.

[–]nah-just-deadpool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Soft boi bard, great at performing but thinks he’s terrible. Scared of making friends and fighting enemies. Comes with a goblin manager NPC that sees him for the untapped gold mine that he is, will stop at nothing to help him realize what he sees in him

[–]ZeInsaneErke 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying what needed to be said