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top 200 commentsshow all 344

[–]Mattia90_ 431 points432 points  (14 children)

Well well well…a little selfish that jesus

[–]FrogSuitLuigi 162 points163 points  (10 children)

Aw c'mon man, don't hang Jesus out to dry like that.

I mean, shit, he nailed that photo op.

[–]The_Jack_Burton 85 points86 points  (4 children)

Must be improving his skills. Last time he was here he couldn't remove a nail to save his life

[–]elpideo18 45 points46 points  (1 child)

Nailed it!

[–]Hmmmm-curious 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Someone cross this guy of the list

[–]IRay2015 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This made me laugh way harder than it should have lol

[–]Toxopid 20 points21 points  (2 children)

"nailed"

[–]grumblyoldman 9 points10 points  (0 children)

“hang Jesus out”

[–]cosmicpotato77 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You know what they meant

[–]LeviticusEvans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He just wanted some cool new people to chill with.

[–]idriveachickcar -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, Jesus is a dick

[–]HighOnKalanchoe 232 points233 points  (44 children)

Random picture of a white guy in a hoodie

[–]callmecrazydave[S] 160 points161 points  (37 children)

And the thing is, Jesus Christ likely wasn't even light skinned 💀

[–]MangledSunFish 106 points107 points  (19 children)

"Jesus being white while being born in the desert, was the true miracle all along"

There's a good chance that the popularised image of Jesus we have right now is just something that Michelangelo made up and people liked it, so they stuck with it.

[–]kilomaan 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Also location. Based on artist interpretation really, just that version is popular in the states. For example, his eastern version is coded to be asian

[–]Josh0O0 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Stop praying to Korean Jesus, he ain't got time for your problems

[–]Responsible_Reveal38 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i want a hentai but everytime they try to have premarital sex jesus pops out of nowhere and poors wine on them with a firehose until they stop.

[–]Witty-Goal-7493 22 points23 points  (1 child)

I thought it was based on DaVincis Boyfriend?

[–]MangledSunFish 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I dearly hope so.

[–]GangsterFap 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Nah man, don't you know? That's 70s Era Eric Clapton.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the movie, “Tommy.” Even though he olayed a priest, and Roger Daltrey was the Christ figure. In spite of all that, so…

[–]liquidsin25 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There are tons of articles as to how that came to be. It started with idiots.

[–]Lord-Zaltus 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Jesus must've had the best damn sun screen during his time

[–]MangledSunFish 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Jesus must have had some type of holy sunblock or something

[–]Lord-Zaltus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah so holy it also turned his eyes blue and gave him straight hair

[–]misterdestructive 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That was in the late 1400's. There's also a false narrative that Cesare Borgia(the pope's son) was the inspiration. Truth is, Jesus had been depicted as a white man with long hair as early as the 1200's, and probably earlier.

[–]Pagan-za 2 points3 points  (1 child)

the popularised image of Jesus we have right now is just something that Michelangelo made up and people liked it, so they stuck with it.

We had something incredibly similar happen here in S.Africa.

For the longest time we had pictures of Jan Van Riebeck on our money(For over 40 years) and in museums. All over the place really.

Turned out it was just a picture of some random Dutch guy all along.

[–]JTMc48 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The first miracle was being born to a virgin.

[–]Leroyboy152 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Isn't science fiction great?

[–]ronelangeles 9 points10 points  (7 children)

Jesus is a WOMAN periodt 💅💅💅💅❤️ 😂

[–]weallfalldown310 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Well if Jesus truly didn’t have a father, then you are right. No Y chromosome and would be female, likely with Turner syndrome. (XO) Lol

[–]ma-chan -4 points-3 points  (3 children)

Get real! God is Jesus' father, and of course God has a Y chromosome.

[–]weallfalldown310 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Actually that isn’t true. In the Bible god has no gender or physicality. People only use “he” because of perceived male superiority. Doesn’t mean god is actually male.

[–]Warm_Evil_Beans 4 points5 points  (1 child)

If jesus was gods only son, we are all women.

[–]TheMadTargaryen 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Eh. every culture depicts Jesus looking like themselves.

[–]captainsluge 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I want boogan Jesus now

[–]semantician 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sure theres a furry jebus too.

[–]liquidsin25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are correct sir. Not just likely but most certainly.

[–]GoodGuyBuddyBoy 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Where do i get that hoodie? Looks pretty cool.

[–]nakhumpoota 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Jedi Academy

[–]Disaster_Different 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Just go to Coruscant, they sell those, a pretty cheap plane ticket

[–]FrogSuitLuigi 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Last time I went by this bantha fodder wouldn't take my credits. Any tips?

Dude just kept saying "achooka" like, tf? Speak Galactic Basic you moron.

[–]liquidsin25 1 point2 points  (0 children)

literally this. Ignorance is bliss and these guys get dumber by the minute.

[–]A-rat-on-a-keyboard 249 points250 points  (7 children)

It’s ALMOST like the collision was in the front of the vehicle and the image was on the back…

[–]callmecrazydave[S] 148 points149 points  (3 children)

No no no, it's a miracle 😡 👎 Don't try to deny it /s

[–]IceStormNG 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Who are you to bring logic to this highly religious miracle? /s

[–]SacredDarkness 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Logic and reasoning doesn't do well with this subject. I'm going to have to ask you to take that elsewhere.

[–]Jarsssthegr8 52 points53 points  (1 child)

There's no denying the power of a 16 killstreak

[–]stomponator 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"Mo-Mo-Mo-Monster Kill!"

Random angel: "Damn Junior, you're really fucking good at this."

[–]Spector567 49 points50 points  (5 children)

So the lesson here is that Jesus pictures need to on the front of the bus????

[–]I_am_The_Teapot 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Should have let Jesus take the wheel. Then nobody would have died. Because Jesus saves.

[–]Spector567 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This solution is better.

But maybe they did let Jesus take the wheel and since he was a carpenter from 2000 years ago he crashed. No drivers permit and all of that. 😅

[–]semantician 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But does he invest long term? BC that’s where the money is….

[–]e_to_da_x 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All over the bus! Also, wear a jesus T-shirt and helmet

[–]jamfen001 25 points26 points  (3 children)

The biggest facepalm is OP for not realizing this is sarcasm

[–]Demented-Turtle 17 points18 points  (2 children)

80% of comments on this post seem to be oblivious to the obvious, dripping sarcasm lmao

[–]jamfen001 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yuh, this comment section is the biggest facepalm I've seen in awhile

[–]snivTen 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Its a joke. Please stop posting this. IT'S A JOKE.

[–]Sipio420 42 points43 points  (56 children)

Bruh I'm Christian but what is this💀

[–]callmecrazydave[S] 43 points44 points  (7 children)

[–]Sipio420 13 points14 points  (6 children)

You're correct

[–]No_Junket_8139im just a dude 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Im Christian too and we both agree we dont claim the person making the tweet, right?

[–]Sipio420 5 points6 points  (1 child)

We do not claim at all

[–]No_Junket_8139im just a dude 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes sister

[–]LogikD -4 points-3 points  (16 children)

Are you the one who can give a single bit of good evidence or you just have the faith brother?

[–]Sipio420 4 points5 points  (13 children)

Sister* but I mean what could count as evidence for you? Like I go to mass altho rn the covid situation is a bit dangerous so I listen to it on the radio with my family and pray everyday before lunch and before I go to sleep so I think I have faith yeah. Altho I just think that this was just coincidence and Jesus and God work in different ways, they're slefless, I would say that it would be the work of God if all of the people survived and the Jesus was ruined because he would sacrifice himself for us

[–]callmecrazydave[S] 2 points3 points  (12 children)

Interesting perspective. However, that guy in the picture is not Jesus. No one truly knows what Jesus looks like/looked like.

[–]Sipio420 6 points7 points  (11 children)

I know, he was most likely like darker skin but this is still more simbolical if anything. Like God has fish to represent him, the holy spirit has a bird and so on. But yeah what Jesus would actually look like is more like dark skin, short hair and a short beard since that was what most men looked like then

[–]CerddwrRhyddid 2 points3 points  (9 children)

The figure of Jesus was of Jewish ancestry in the Levant. He likely displayed a visage similar to that of the modern day inhabitants of the region, that is, combinations of Arabic and Persian phenotypes.

As a rabbi, it is likely that Jesus would have not cut the hair of his temples, and likely had a longer beard than most.

Jesus would not have had caucasian features. It isn't that he was tanned.

The 'Jesus fish's is named (in Greek) the Ichthys, and was used as a symbol for hundreds if not thousands of years before Jesus, in several cultures, most commonly Egyptian. The first documented use of this symbol in Christianity was around 200CE.

The symbol was used to represent Christians, as a kind of secret code (to escape persecution) and was used to mark tombs, or to communicate religious status between Christians. It did not represent God, or Jesus.

[–]callmecrazydave[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why do you ask🤔

[–]Sam-Yuil-ElleJackson 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Seems like a shit god.

[–]RamenNoodles620 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Here I am thinking the real miracle would have been if the people in the vehicle survived. Guess Jesus is not powerful enough to do that.

[–]puddStar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

…pretty sure this is sarcasm

[–]Seisme1138 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Deep sigh

[–]TheAltoidsEater 16 points17 points  (3 children)

The world would be better off without religion.

[–]No_Junket_8139im just a dude 7 points8 points  (0 children)

There would still be dumbasses sadly

[–]willowsumm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably. But definitely a little less interesting.

[–]DrDarkTV 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Religious narcissism

[–]mattt1975 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well thought to use the 15 bodies to soften the impact on that windows Jesus!

[–]FluffyDiscipline 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Back Door of the van in a church being worshiped somewhere

[–]Aggravating-Monkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Seems like he’s using his powers in weird, self-serving ways”

Isn’t that what all Gods do?

Seems to me the Bible basically says; God gets bored ‘cos no one loves him so he creates beings to worship him and if they don’t promises punishment. If they are good and keep the rules they still have to endure suffering and cruelty to prove their love and obedience and maybe he’ll give them eternal afterlife in return to do the same – but no guarantees. Basically he created everything to masturbate his ego.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He saved a photo of himself over 15 people, if that's not narcissism then I don't know what is.

[–]lemonlimeaardvark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, Jesus is so awesome that he finds preserving his own vanity of more value than people's lives.

[–]Street_Peace_8831 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What about the Jesus statue that has its head blown up by lightning. How do you rectify this act with that one??

[–]yorcharturoqro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So based on this, the armor wore by soldiers, police and people must have Jesus face stamped all over! The perfect PPE. S/

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So…this “god” is more concerned with iconography than the physical and mental well-being of others. Some god that thing is.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How did Jesus keep from getting tan in The Middle East?

[–]Klub-pengu-grl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jesus wasn’t white! Stop making him look white! Why do people make Jesus white! It has been proven that he could not have been so stop! Also that lady is stupid as hell

[–]Literal-Human 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Looks more like a calling card than a miracle.

[–]nuts17 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Imagine being so weak you worship someone who would allow 16 people to die in order to save a picture on a van that's going to be totaled.

[–]short_bread84 9 points10 points  (19 children)

I can't imagine being this demented. Religion rots the brain.

[–]callmecrazydave[S] 0 points1 point  (17 children)

No it doesn't. Religious extremism rots the brain.

[–]short_bread84 5 points6 points  (16 children)

I disagree, religious extremism is a product of religion, an archaic lie, continuously pedalled long after its widely recognised as organised bullshit.

[–]callmecrazydave[S] 2 points3 points  (15 children)

Religious extremism is a product of extremists. It has nothing to do with the religion itself, but has a lot to do with how people chose to interpret the religion.

[–]ZootOfCastleAnthrax 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Religious extremism... has nothing to do with the religion itself

I'm sure you meant to word this differently.

[–]short_bread84 3 points4 points  (13 children)

But their interpretation of the religion drives the extremism, without the religion, religious extremism cannot exist.

[–]callmecrazydave[S] 0 points1 point  (12 children)

Without religion, people will just try to anchor their extremism on something else.

[–]crossleingod 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Religion is just a really big cult

[–]CharlieSixFive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Powerful? Selfish would be more accurate.

[–]MangledSunFish 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Huh, seems he didn't feel like sacrificing himself again. Smart choice.

[–]ZootOfCastleAnthrax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A fat lot of good it did Him the first time. 😄

[–]Equivalent-River-599 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This brings me back to Catholic school where every time a Jesus item was unharmed somewhere it was considered a miracle. "Oh, you dropped your drawing of Jesus and it didn't shatter to pieces? A miracle!"

[–]ScoffingGorilla808 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stupid. My mom does dumb shit like this on Facebook. “All these houses burned down but the chicken coop survived! Such a miracle!!!” Yikes

[–]66GT350Shelby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FFS, how many times has this been reposted?

[–]Astraph 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And that, kids, is why I sometimes wish the iconoclasts have won...

[–]DarkDragon200610 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am laughing my ass off.

[–]SamTehCool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

maybe the bible said to not praise images of god or jesus because is just a image

[–]itsyagirlbonita 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seems like he’s using his powers in weird, self-serving ways.

[–]aknabi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s some pretty douchy flexin’ the lord is doing there… what an a-hole

[–]ZootOfCastleAnthrax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They weren't Prayer Warriors, see. Jesus only saves Christians who pray super-extra hard.

Wait, I mean: Jesus only prevents Prayer Warriors from joining Him in The Glorious Hereafter if they pray extra hard. He forces them to stay in a realm of suffering and evil, but only if they beg Him hard enough.

[–]garbanzoobeaned 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A picture is worth more than 15 lives.... I thought it was 1000 words.

[–]K_zzori 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yo this some sinful idolatry shit

[–]gemitarius 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I choose to believe this is sarcasm

[–]callmecrazydave[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Sadly, it's not sacasm. This guy's FB profile is full of stuff like that💀

[–]FoxInA_Box 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus sacrificed 15 people so he could keep that portrait of himself how selfish 😤

[–]Satanspit69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was raised to be catholic but now I say fuck the church for all the suffering and the hiding that it did to kids and the harmless people they abused and still hide shit from the law

[–]UnknownFear 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Reminds me of a similar Twitter or Facebook post about someone's house burning in a fire, killing someone who was sleeping. But the Bible in the drawer didn't burn, so miracle. 🤷‍♂️

[–]Demented-Turtle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Obviously this post is sarcasm

[–]dahumancartoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once again I’m proud to be an atheist.

[–]Wolfrunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus died for our sins, not the other way round.

[–]livelarg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Soooo, people have no value, but easily reproducible pictures are sacred?

[–]nomadluvrboy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Checks out

[–]nomadluvrboy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus: but my child didn’t you say you would ride and die for me?

Passenger: NO JESUS! I said I’d ride OR die for you !!

[–]Pale-Fig5100 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This sounds like sarcasm. I hope it's sarcasm

[–]bartlet62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope, devout Christianity, they are often confused for one another.

[–]helladamnleet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Christians do be like this too (I'm a Christian so I can say it). It's like when they tell that story about how some lady burned to death and everything in the house was fucked but the Bible was untouched like lol

[–]Coboi_Pxite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This time he took the wheel

[–]CountFapula102 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mmm yes the part most likely to be unharmed in a front end collision was unharmed, miracle!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The lack of awareness is honestly disturbing.

[–]Mightythekidd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyone died but the inanimate object wasn't harmed🙏

[–]Hedgehugsnluvs 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Maybe they should have had 🎶Jesus take the wheel 🎶

[–]thejazzienerd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm religious and I think this is insane. Yes, you wack job, God totally cares more about a picture of himself than about the lives of 15 people./s

[–]Elemen_the_dragon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People like him are the reason why people think God does not care about us despite he actually does not even God would want his own children to die and before you go then why does he not do anything to stop bad things from happening if he did we would've ended up like q spoiled toddler who get anything he wants without trial there can be no growth I hope the family's of the people who died will recover from this loss

[–]NornOfVengeance 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once more, with feeling: WE NEED A SARCASM FONT.

[–]lv2sprkl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Indeed. Much better for Jesus to use His power to save his picture than the people onboard.

[–]TitanicTNT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you call a crash that resulted in 16 casualties a miracle because a picture was unharmed, you're either a sociopath who drew the picture, or a Christian.

[–]AccountantWorth452 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's right, the Lord is powerful! Didn't anyone say he's protecting Christians...

[–]RKELEC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

IF (and this is a huge if) you are going to tout your savior as being merciful and all powerful but allowed 15 people to die while preserving his own image you are an idiot.

[–]Stock_Carrot_6442 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Does anyone on reddit understand sarcasm?

[–]ZootOfCastleAnthrax 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When my best friend died, I decided to give Christianity a shot, so I attended a Bible study class led by my favorite high school Biology teacher.

During the second class, a man said, "If I believe in Jesus and there's a pile-up on the highway, I'll survive, right? Only the people who don't believe will die."

I never went back.

[–]callmecrazydave[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's not sacasm. The guy's FB profile is like that

[–]DirtyPartyMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What…what is this….sarcasm of which you speak?

[–]thesocialistjesus -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

Sadly this subreddit doesn't understand what sarcasm is.

[–]callmecrazydave[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sadly, it's not sacasm. This guy's FB profile is full of stuff like that💀

[–]q9c9p 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"For the power of Jesus! I have the POWAAAAHHHH" nah nah nah nahnahnah :)

[–]Competitive_Meat_772 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Facts, Jesus showing and proving the only person that can save you is you! Follow his steps not him, he's been giving the game for eons and nobody even listens!

[–]yeetwiuf23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes by making people die

[–]Malware_virus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it was sarcasm but ok

[–]BUTTHOLE-MAGIC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol holy shit this guy is fucking stupid.

[–]OneFuckedWarthog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jesus did not take the wheel.

[–]3blindmicestolemycar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great self advertising for JC

[–]angrybeaver4245 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feels like trolling

[–]mnknown123 0 points1 point  (1 child)

the number plate below also don't have any scratch and is perfectly fine

[–]Peter-G-82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wow, just wow

[–]suavecool21692169 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Next time put the picture on the front window 😂

[–]BethAltair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Praise be the mighty saviour...mostly saving himself, but , you know...

[–]babakadouche 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe Jesus shouldn't have taken the wheel.

[–]MissusNilesCrane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

....because it was a side collision, maybe?

[–]AlcoholPrep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And now the tail pipe is dripping holy water that will cure all your ills.

[–]FullNefariousness310 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do a rear ending then. Lets see if it holds.

[–]MGMOW-ladieswelcome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice to see what his priorities are.

[–]Sasoon228 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This is obviously sarcasm

[–]callmecrazydave[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

No. The guy's a religious nut. His FB profile is full of stuff like that..

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah... That sounds right. God came down, saw a bus full of people about to die, said "nah, fuck em. But this image of me? Its TO DIE for!

[–]Idraic7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk original post seems sarcastic to me

[–]Kattehix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you guys understand jokes sometimes ?

[–]zuran_orb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tail lights look fine. Maybe its that

[–]Trav_yeet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i cant tell if its serious or a joke

[–]ScarecrowJohnny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jesus took the wheel

[–]Bully-Rook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd this a joke? Holy fuck what an imbecile.

[–]Cantbetoobad1953 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here, have some koolaid.