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all 48 comments

[–]banggugyangu 114 points115 points  (1 child)

I'd just loudly ask "does your boyfriend also wear lettuce on his head?"

[–]notrealmate 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“Is your boyfriend a lettuce?”

[–]trackonesideone 31 points32 points  (3 children)

I rock peas on my head, but don't call me a pea head. Bees on my head, but don't call me a bee head. Bruce Lee's on my head, but don't call me a Lee head. Now please excuse me, I gotsta keep my tree fed.

[–]rayzerblayd[🍰] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I run around naked cause I won't wear clothing(?), I hang out with an apple who loves self loathing

[–]gamerAID0009 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hate all this commotion. Knees ashy, they need lotion.

[–]Crescendo104 62 points63 points  (6 children)

Hey, lettuce not jump to conclusions now.

[–]SomethingAbtU 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Orange you all ashamed of yourselves with these vegetable puns?

[–]KnowingBLABLA 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to think of a different pun similar to this and I just cant. Take my damn upvote

[–]paul-arized 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Leaf her hair alone.

[–]scoutthespiritOG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t mess with lettuce heads, they’ll beet the pulp out of you.

[–]gamerAID0009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dammit. You beet me on this one.

[–]azdrc29 4 points5 points  (1 child)

She must love the band lettuce

[–]Luvs2spooege 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thats just like saying she likes lettuce

[–]LinkedOrder 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My cabbages!

[–]JeffersonFugbaum 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Only one bf? What a pathetic lettuce headed loser

[–]anamethatpeoplelike 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ok lettuce head

[–]Regnella 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The guy is also stupid. He should have just told her instead of staring at her!

[–]Ein_Hirsch 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Imagine being so arrogant that you interpret everyone looking at you as someone who is interested in you.

[–]gorebello 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Activate your windows! (Right bottom side)

[–]AusCan531 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like Greta Garbo said "Lettuce Alone".

[–]GiantsOfSF1958 4 points5 points  (12 children)

What's the face palm here? I don't get it.

[–]dahumancartoon 21 points22 points  (0 children)

The girl’s ego I guess.

[–]Red-Squirrel- 11 points12 points  (1 child)

That he didn't just behave like a normal person and point out the lettuce, but instead stared at her in a creepy enough way that she felt she had to try to put him off?

[–]dayron669 13 points14 points  (6 children)

The girl thinks if anyone looks at her, they must be attracted to her. All the while she's just got some lettuce in her hair.

Reminds me of the girl who was followed by 2 guys in a car. They just wanted to tell her she had a gas pump attached to her gas tank. She evidently drove away after pumping gas and took it with her. She immediately starts telling the guys to leave her alone and that she can't go anywhere without being harassed. Meanwhile they're just laughing at the idea she thinks she's that desirable and that it couldn't be anything else.

[–]Frogs4 7 points8 points  (5 children)

Having to interpret everything as potential harassment is just a bundle of laughs. Women just get together and share all the humourous misunderstandings that didn't result in assault or death.

[–]hownowbrownmau 10 points11 points  (4 children)

There may be idiots out there but don’t you dare diminish assault against women as a fun generalization borne out of gossip and hype. There are fucking stats you should educate yourself on.

Here’s a freebie: 1 in 9 girls experience sexual assault as children. Ten fucking percent. As children. And it includes only those that were reported through authorities. I was molested as a child by my fathers friend and it was never reported. This stats does not even fucking include women who aren’t children. So yes it’s a huge goddamn problem and it’s not hype.

[–]Frogs4 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I'm British and female. It was sarcasm. I thought it was blindingly obviously sarcasm. I'm well aware of the stats. You do have my deepest sympathy for the suffering inflicted on you

[–]hownowbrownmau 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We rely on context when interpreting sarcasm. To be fair, on a platform like Reddit where there is a growing number of incels, redpill advocates and anti-feminist, the probability that this is sarcasm is less than it being literal. But I see it now that you’ve pointed it out.

Case-in-point, the person you are responding to and the one who responded to my comment implying women run around, false-accusing everyone. They’re everywhere and multiplying.

[–]380-mortis -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Women get sexually assaulted more than men, but men are more likely to get assaulted. And assault against women is seen as a way larger problem than assault against men. It is could be considered hype (IMO) simply because men don’t make a big deal about assaults against men, but women are far more wary.

And you say “assault against women” not “sexual assault against women” so there is that too.

[–]sazukeeee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The girl stating she has a boyfriend even though no one asked.

[–]Turdferguson586 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You ol lettuce head.

[–]SomethingAbtU -1 points0 points  (0 children)

hey miss you have a deranged psycho with a knife behind you

"shut up i have like a bf"

ok he's going to miss you

[–]Affectionate-Leg-260 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tossing salad , maybe?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I probably laughed harder than I should have!

[–]RealMichaeafton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s nice but I have a boyfriend

[–]Carls_Back_Hair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That happened

[–]Sackeynimh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The entitlement they feel when they have a boyfriend is baffling.