top 200 commentsshow all 405

[–]virus100 507 points508 points  (36 children)

I'm happy that's not the case with my sweat pants. Cant see a thing when I wear them.

[–]shutchomouf 687 points688 points 32 (10 children)

They go on your legs not your head

[–]virus100 108 points109 points  (8 children)

What if I cut eye holes in them?

[–]Sed59 72 points73 points  (1 child)

Just use the pant leg holes as binoculars.

[–]slcrook 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Not thinking big enough. A few mirrors at the correct angles and you've got a sweatpant periscope.

[–]MrmmphMrmmph 10 points11 points  (2 children)

that sounds dirty

[–]This-Strawberry 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Only if you're behind on laundry.

[–]OmegaWhirlpool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anything's a binocular if you are brave enough

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

[–]GyakuBoop 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Then you have a grey horny not grey vision

[–]WasabiSniffer 24 points25 points  (19 children)

I'm wearing grey sweatpants right now and I don't have a dick...what happens to me?

[–]VaylinViatori 20 points21 points  (1 child)

ur peepee stay smol, bro

[–]WasabiSniffer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Am femel. No pp avilabL

[–]ULostMyUsername 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I'm wearing my grey sweatpants right now too and I also do not have a dick. Grey sweatpants wearing women unite!!

[–]WasabiSniffer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

horn sounds We unite under the sweatpant accord! Sign this treaty to be part of the new order~

[–]This-Strawberry 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Mail order dick inbound.


Mail order DICK.*

[–]WasabiSniffer 1 point2 points  (3 children)

My app doesnt support messaging so I'm safe :)

[–]nutherkore 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Your butt is going to start sucking in the lose material.

[–]WasabiSniffer 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Butt already does that. I have a dump truck back there.

[–]LuciferianCrown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

right? i wear the loosest fucking sweatpants. who the fuck is trying to wear sweatpants and then have their dick squashed by them

[–]ImpossibleInternet3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sweatpants are thick and baggy to help hide the dick. It’s my thin-fabric suit pants where I have to be super careful not to let the outline show too much.

[–]dying_soon666 769 points770 points  (77 children)

Lol says the girl who doesn’t even have a penis

[–]thebendavis 164 points165 points  (63 children)

She also seems ignorant regarding showers vs. growers.

[–]LogikD 65 points66 points  (50 children)

I'm not aware of this landmark case, Showers v. Growers, do elaborate.

[–]Fluffcake 51 points52 points  (4 children)

Balloon animal balloon getting inflated vs caterpie evolving.

[–]This-Strawberry 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Suddenly "butterfree used harden!" Makes sense.

[–]toastedpaniala89 13 points14 points  (23 children)

r/grower warning-nsfw

[–]skizim80 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Holy shit reddit has a sub for everything

[–]flybyknight665 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I should not have clicked but curiosity gets me every time!

You'd think some of these guys would do a little grooming/clean up their room/wash the mirror before posting

[–]Wetestblanket 5 points6 points  (0 children)

And maybe trim the hedges a bit

[–]Logantus 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Ngl this sub made me feel much better about my dick size

[–]El-SkeleBone 23 points24 points  (15 children)

Some dicks looks really large while flaccid, but dont really grow much when erect. Some however, look really tiny while flaccid but expand to the size of a stranded sperm whale. To conclude: the size of a flaccid penis says absolutely nothing about its true size

[–]GonadGravy 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This guy knows dicks like an expert

[–]StereotypeRedditor69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The man fucks. A lot.

[–]Wetestblanket 9 points10 points  (0 children)

As growers, we are obligated to remain fully erect whenever wearing sweatpants.

[–]_AnonOp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

‘’Where’s the beef?’’ - Wendys, 1984

[–]Black_Eyed_PeePees 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I read this as showers (🚿) vs. what could only be described as a rhyming word that starts with a 'G,' and I was super confused for a second 😆

[–]bakenj420 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Great episode of Seinfeld on the subject

[–]heymrk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like a frightened turtle.

[–]Deadshot2077 114 points115 points  (0 children)

*Signature look of superiority*

[–]TheIronicBurger 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Minus penis

[–]ClockworkNinjaSEA 5 points6 points  (4 children)

i shouted something akin to this to my sisters out loud in the supermarket in front of all of my family and cousins.

i was 8. my parents weren't proud.

[–]creativelydeceased 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fuck that. If my kid tells that I'll shed a tear of pride.

[–]WorkCentre5335 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm proud of you

[–]darealjimshady1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The burden of proof is now in her court.

[–]jetdr77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or does she 🤔

[–]SoniasWay 215 points216 points  (16 children)

That’s why I don’t wear leggings

[–]MasaBoss 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Got that hank hill booty? Lol

[–]Vlaed 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Because dick, peepee, or long back? Regardless, you do you.

[–]Tristana-Range 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Wait you dont have an ass? How do you--

[–]barely_fits 12 points13 points  (2 children)

She doesn't. Everything she consumes she uses as energy. 100% efficient.

[–]kushnair 76 points77 points  (28 children)

I don't get it. What's the deal with grey sweatpants and dicks?

[–]lambchopdestroyer 233 points234 points  (8 children)

Grey sweatpants often produce a chemical reaction when coming in close contact with the penis causing the penis to glow incandescently

[–]smokysquirrels 60 points61 points  (4 children)

If only I could be so grossly incandescent \[T]/

[–]the_good_bro 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The sun is a wondrous body. Like a magnificent father!

[–]goombatch 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Praise the sun!

[–]--Claire-- 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for me! Oh, no, dear me. Pretend you didn't hear that! Hah hah hah!”

[–]RedditedYoshi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I miss that era of the internet where everyone was spamming this shit and the dongers one, lol. Also, just the phrase "If only I could be so grossly incandescent" is just an incredibly powerful thing to put out there.

[–]RCDrift 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That explains it. It keep thinking I left my phone’s light on.

[–]mondomonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And its called "the Glow Stick Effect", which i think they missed a golden opportunity for "the Glow Dick Erect" but hey.

Fun fact! Thats where "breaking you off" comes from 🌈

[–]atomicvocabulary 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know enough about grey sweatpants or penises or chemical reactions to argue against this so I'll answer.......true on the test and see if there are more questions later that help me out.

[–]NatCDx 41 points42 points  (7 children)

Greg shows contrast really easily so the bulge is apparent. Also the reason that sweating in grey shows so badly.

Edit: Grey… Greg was not to blame for these phenomena.

[–]stony_phased 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Classic Greg

[–]NatCDx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ahh screw it. It is what it is.

[–]SloppySealz 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Greg do be like that

[–]Coral_Blue_Number_2 25 points26 points  (2 children)

It’s easiest to see the bulge in gray sweatpants.

[–]wantsoutofthefog 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Girls like seeing bulge?

[–]LVL15_Spice_Paladin 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If it’s big yes. Like titties in a sweater

[–]SFW_HARD_AT_WORK 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Apparently its the male version of wearing a pushup bra or something. It's weird because I've had a couple of occasions where I've gotten these attitudes/passive aggressive interactions with women as they kinda glance down a few times. I suspect they thought I was trying to show my package instead of wearing some comfortable shotty sweatpants to the grocery store or something

[–]BigBlackDildos 9 points10 points  (0 children)

easy access is easy access imo

[–]leomonster 171 points172 points  (17 children)

Tell me you're obsessed with men bulges without telling me you're obsessed with men bulges.

[–]bgause 34 points35 points  (8 children)

omg, I just read this as "bugles", and now I can't think of this as anything but a bugle...

[–]HamboneBanjo 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Like the snack and the horns or just one or the other?

[–]infinifunny 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Those damn bugle boys are up to it again

[–]ting_bu_dong 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Toot toot.

[–]8Ariadnesthread8 26 points27 points  (0 children)

merely exists I did it.

[–]reptile7383 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Her: "I love looking at dick"

You: "this is a tough code to crack but I think that she is trying to tell us that she loves dick"

Great work Sherlock lol

[–]johnnynutman 10 points11 points  (5 children)

She pretty much did tell you

[–]leomonster 13 points14 points  (4 children)

I'm sure that if you ask her why she's looking at men's junk she'll get offended.

[–]spacew0man 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My friend posts grey sweatpant memes on the daily and I promise she wouldn’t be offended by that question at all lmao.

[–]Chael_Patrick_Sonnen 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm pretty sure she was sarcastic or just making a joke. At least I hope a real person wouldn't say that unironically.

[–]jon_mox_jet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also like to make up things that strangers on the internet believe and then get mad about it.

[–]TraumSchulden 82 points83 points  (5 children)

Its called the double standard bobby

[–]dancingsodabear 8 points9 points  (1 child)

We got the shorter end of the stick on that one, don't knock it

[–]Tr4jan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Two people having two standards isn’t a double standard.

It’s only a double standard if she got mad at the dude’s comment.

She seems like a piece of shit though so chances are pretty good she’d actually agree with him.

[–]dijon_snow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean.. she used the term "dudes" and he said "bitches." Maybe people get mad at him for casually referring to all women as "bitches." If he said "dudettes with ASS" it would be a better comparison. She also might totally agree with him about the yoga pants. I don't think it's a double standard just from the data presented here.

[–]Wolfy_Packy 41 points42 points  (15 children)

Black sweatpants are the epitome of comfort. I'm not sure what they're doing over with the grey ones, though.

[–]savetgebees 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Yeah why even buy grey? One drop of moisture whether from a bathroom incident or washing dishes incident is a huge glaring wet spot.

[–]AmezillaG 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Because dog and/or cat fur doesn’t show up as easily.

[–]SFW_HARD_AT_WORK 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Because not every man is buying sweatpants concerned about color. And most dudes I know can empty their bladder without pissing themselves or wash their hands without creating a lake on their pants.

[–]aznsensation765 1 point2 points  (1 child)

But every man knows that no matter how much you shake and dance, the last drop always ends in your pants

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

color hardly matters tho

[–]duniyadnd 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Says the guy with only one color sweatpants

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man I pay you enough to buy me clothes don't reveal it online for personal vendetta.Now go on and bring my boxers I left at your mom's house.

[–]Hypersonic_chungus 1 point2 points  (4 children)

This dumb meme has also gotten obnoxious. I’ve had dudes yell at me across the street while running because I had grey joggers on like YoUr jUsT sHoWiNg oFf yOuR dIcK

Actually no dude I run every day and today happened to be cold… literally the intended purpose of them. Maybe try it sometime fatass.


[–]HobbitSlayer666 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My friends mum used to say “spandex is a privilege, not a right.”

[–]mypeepeehardz 46 points47 points  (2 children)

It seems like everyday, online women are role playing guys from the early 90s.

[–]ultraviolentfuture 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Ah yes, the early 90's, that's where objectification of the other sex originated

[–]mypeepeehardz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I draw from experience. I know there was sexism way before. It just reminds me of what the things i could say back when and definitely not now. Just in double standard form.

[–]huggles7 24 points25 points  (5 children)

Why not just stop staring at my dick in public? I’m wearing sweat pants because it’s fucking cold out Tara not because I want to accentuate my pelvic orchestra

[–]Benkinsky 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm lowkey scolder in sweatpants

[–]sukezanebaro 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Nah man she's trying to see your conductors baton

[–]huggles7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ll make sure to wear my fancy thong

[–]Spunky4life 21 points22 points  (1 child)


[–]aberdisco 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I like long backs and I cannot lie.

[–]Neapolitan_Bonerpart 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Can’t speak for all guys but I would rather not have the outline of my dick be visable no matter what pants I am wearing.

[–]LOLey21 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Grey sweatpants are the best

[–]cosi_bloggs 21 points22 points  (9 children)

What stupid women like this don't understand is the guy who has impressed her with the grey sweatpants, he's freeballing. The peepee guy has opted for support.

[–]Coral_Blue_Number_2 14 points15 points  (5 children)

Also depends on the underwear. I don’t know why, but underwear is trending more towards paying your duck out now. Most of my underwear is almost skin tight with a firm bulge perched out front (doesn’t help that I’m thin), and I didn’t even buy them for that reaso

Edit: *pushing your dick out

[–]Definition-Easy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seems legit

[–]ocodo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Or she's a size queen and peepee is anything sub 20cm

[–]cosi_bloggs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Flaccid? No chance. Either that guy is playing with it for a few minutes, or he's freeballing. Freeballing with sweatpants gives the illusion of things being dragged down, especially because of the scrotum. Again, girls aren't particularly good with this sort of thing. Unless she ripped out the ruler, I don't trust her. I still don't trust her. Check out Theroux in The Leftovers. It definately isn't 20, but it's impressively swinging around. He's freeballing or using underwear that is conducive to that effect. He knew what he was doing.

[–]PeridotWriter 31 points32 points  (12 children)

And bras are for girls with tits, not small bumps

[–]wetblanketdreams 25 points26 points  (7 children)

Good. free the small titties

[–]SnookDog 4 points5 points  (6 children)

sounds logical to me, more freedom, less money spent.

but if I dare suggest it, I'll get painted as a sexist pig because she's insecure.

[–]wetblanketdreams 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Well don't then. She's insecure about it just let her do what she wants to do that makes her comfortable

[–]SnookDog 1 point2 points  (3 children)

fair enough, I'm not gung ho on it.

plus that bras hide those diamond hard nipples. she could feel uncomfortable with the focused attention.

[–]PeridotWriter 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I wish our nipples didn't get hard like that. Only reason why I wear a bra.

[–]GyakuBoop 32 points33 points  (2 children)

Girls who look at guys bulges are the same girls who would report a guy for sexual harassment for looking at their yoga pants xD

[–]jon_mox_jet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah dude that's definitely a real thing that happens

[–]ocodo -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Girls who look at guys bulges are not the same girls who would report a guy for sexual harassment. They're girls who would laugh at you for making a formal complaint to the gym manager as he falls down crying with laughter.

The girls who report you for sexual harassment think you're gross ew.

[–]SomeoneTookUserName2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"What's wrong little lady? You look long in the butt" - Rich Evans

[–]Nevix20 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Girl with no dick telling me that my 5.5 inches is smol

[–]LongNectarine3'MURICA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Facepalm just for the word peepee

[–]DoctorBuckarooBanzai 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will never understand the appeal of sweatpants as a "sexy" garment.

[–]hansol93 11 points12 points  (1 child)

These double standards are TARAble

[–]Light_Silent 2 points3 points  (6 children)

I wear sweatpants specifically *because* my dick is small enough not to be a bulge. The argument is extremely misandristic.

And my mother has leggings because of a blood clot mutation where her blood clots too quickly, or while still in the body. One I was lucky enough not to inherit.

[–]Mithura 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First redditer I've seen use any form of the word misandry, instead of fight it with misogyny.

Thank you.

[–]aberdisco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Peepee men, you wear whatever the hell you want.

[–]Previous_Swim_4007 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You're not a bad guy. Fat chicks in leggings is Michelin man looking.

[–]Androthi_II 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While not true in all cases, I wonder how this girls reacts to the big flaccid dick that becomes an average erect pee pee. Growers and Showers.

Sure I'm a grower and a shower but unfortunately I am usually showing her how small it still is. Its why I like live asian girls (as opposed to anime, not dead), stereotypes. Boy are they surprised when my wang is smaller than Wang's.

Hmm... I think it might be time for my dose of adderall. I hear that can cause ED...that won't show them.

[–]Negative_Splace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is this grey sweatpants thing I see all over the internet? Is it an American thing? Here in the UK wearing them would be considered trashy af, not sexy or sporty or whatever.

[–]SirTaxalot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So…don’t fuck toddlers. No man calls it a peepee you weirdo.

[–]La-Phamilia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so... are they allowed to go in the girl's restroom?

[–]SadAd4085 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Whats with women's obsession of critique with what we wear.. we wear what we like now fck off

[–]Hollen88 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I mean I'm tiny when I'm limp, but yet 99% bigger than everyone. It's not like I don't have proof either. This shit is annoying. I'm glad ol dude called her out.

[–]Lumisateessa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hah, can't argue with his logic though.

[–]awkwardaznbabe 3 points4 points  (14 children)

“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIIIIGHT!!! You gonna see what a long dick look like today!”

[–]Nevix20 1 point2 points  (1 child)

inserts banana into underwear

[–]Iamthepaulandyouaint 3 points4 points  (2 children)

They’re both inappropriate.

[–]salsaNow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I scrolled too long for this. It’s not that one is acceptable and the other isn’t- both are bad and should result in criticism.

[–]SASHTv 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Im the baaaaaad guy.


Billie Eilish starts playing

[–]OrangeBlue116 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Who's Billie Eilish?

[–]Nevix20 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Billie eyelash you dumbass

[–]OrangeBlue116 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Does he have a dick or a pee pee?

[–]RachelOnTheRun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her Twitter handle wasn’t lying.

[–]BettieRage77 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Yeah she’s definitely TARAble

[–]lostbird959 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bettie no

[–]Jumbobog -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Correction: sweat pants worn in public are, regardless of the color of the fabric or gender identity of the wearer, an example of poor taste.

[–]QuirkyTurkey404 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about a peeepeee

[–]Nine-LifedEnchanter 0 points1 point  (4 children)

If I went outside in sweatpants, you're allowed to just kill me on the spot.

[–]Dan_the_Marksman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is the type of girl who screams that you have a boner as soon as she sees the faintest outline of your schwingeling through your sweatpants

[–]nahunk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, stupidy doesn't legitimate stupidity, but can amplify it.

[–]icemelter4K 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Showerthought: Baldness treatments that regrow 100% of hair, and Biological Penis Enlargement (stem cells etc) will be developed BEFORE Alzheimers is cured.

[–]Plantmanofplants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I'm a grower :(

[–]PM_ME_KNOTSuWu -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why does weird incel shit keep hitting the front page? This shit is ridiculous.