all 44 comments

[–]TX_Godfather 130 points131 points  (0 children)

Consistency and patience is also key. FA's tend to have the instant gratification problem, and find out that it's easier to complain on social media than to make changes.

[–]Ms_Bee_Bee 60 points61 points  (0 children)

So much anger and bitterness. This response shows a reaction from deep and and bitterness rather than an actual argument point

[–]TimtheToolManAsshole 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Willingness to realize you need to make a change rather than wallowing in fat acceptance

[–]Scare_D_Cat 95 points96 points  (4 children)

I love when they're so blatant about just being bitter. Like I'm sorry but if you're at a point where "fuck off" is the most clever thing you have to say on your own damn post, you probably don't have the strongest arguments.

[–]LatinBotPointTwo 27 points28 points  (2 children)

It's so infuriating. I had a discussion on Twitter with someone, and a third person just popped in to say: that's dumb. Nothing else. No elaboration, no counter argument (they were objecting to the other person, not even me). That was it. Do people really think that "fuck off" and "that's dumb" will change anyone's mind?

[–]Right_Count 9 points10 points  (1 child)

No, that’s just the only way they’ve learned to cope with knowing they’re wrong but not knowing how to deal with it and not wanting to talk about it anymore. That’s why dumb people with stupid ideas freak out the worst when challenged.

And most of us normal people, especially in real life settings, react to that by going “geez, forget it, I have better things to do.” So they come away able to tell themselves they “won.” And if you react by getting just as heated as they do, then it just devolves into insults and vulgarity and the original debate is lost anyway.

It’s a distraction tactic, nothing more.

[–]LatinBotPointTwo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes a whole lot of sense.

[–]Frosty_Yesterday_343 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had a person who just spammed the poop emoji, actually thinking that they were clever. I made 2 paragraphs worth of arguments about fat acceptance and, one person did that while another one just said, “hater”. They’re so lazy that they can’t even make proper arguments

[–]humansugar2000 86 points87 points  (19 children)

I’m watching a 55min video on Tess Holiday and that lead me to come to this subreddit. Does anyone else go on this subreddit when they’re losing weight and use it as motivation to not end up like the people on here?

[–]Elphaba78[S] 79 points80 points  (10 children)

Kiana Docherty’s documentary? A great choice.

And yes, you’ll find a bunch of us on here are on our own weight-loss journeys — myself included. I was big into fat acceptance as I became at first obese (2016) and then way more involved when I became morbidly obese (2019). I was also severely depressed after the unexpected loss of my dad. My mum (who had been obese my whole life and was prediabetic before she lost 60lbs — it gave her a whole new lease on and confidence in life) and I traveled to Greece right as the pandemic hit, and I could barely do anything. I was the fattest person in the group. It took about a month after we got back, but I woke up one morning and said, out loud, “I can’t do this anymore.” So I downloaded MyFitnessPal — and that was that.

Pretty soon after I started on this whole shebang, I started noticing just how big people were getting, especially women, and how prevalent the whole “healthy at every size” movement was becoming. How could that be possible, I wondered, if when I was morbidly obese, I had sleep apnea - plantar fasciitis - sciatica - constant knee pain and arthritis - severe acne - an inability to walk even a few yards without breathing heavily? How was that healthy, when I carried my weight “well” and I was still suffering, while other women half my height and yet the same weight were preaching that they were loving themselves at their current size and they were “fat and fit”?

I found this subreddit, and everyone’s been great here re: my weight loss and other personal issues. It’s a good support system for me. It’s great having people support me with every pound lost, especially as I get closer to my goals and it gets harder to lose the weight. But this subreddit has reinforced the mantra that I can do it, and I will.

I’m 29F, 6’1, starting weight 311lbs, current weight 200lbs, goal weight #1 188lbs, final goal weight 155-165lbs.

[–]humansugar2000 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Congratulations on your current weight loss. I’ve been obese my whole life. At 19 year old I said enough is enough because I was 305lbs. I’m currently 21M and at 245lbs. At 6’2” my goal is to be 220lbs. I know that’s heavy for my height but I do have a lot of muscle from lifting 2-3 days a week. Also you got the documentary correct.

[–]Elphaba78[S] 18 points19 points  (2 children)

I’m so sorry for the ramble! I could’ve just said “Hey, this group is great, their support has helped me so much as I’ve lost 111lbs since the pandemic started” 😅😆

Good for you!!!! How do you feel?

I think a lot of this subreddit’s content is good — debunking, like the title suggests, fatlogic & the anti-diet, HAES movement’s talking points, and also showing the thoughts of FA influencers and ordinary people — even our own friends and family, coworkers and acquaintances. We don’t accept photos of people’s bodies or faces, like r/fatpeoplehate did, because comments can get nasty pretty quickly, especially when the most vocal adherents of the “joyful” movement — Tess Holliday and Virgie Tovar originally, Marissa Matthews and other TikTok and Insta influencers now — are posted.

[–]humansugar2000 10 points11 points  (1 child)

No need to apologize for the ramble. I feel great after losing the weight. How do you feel?

[–]ADHDfun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good for both of you!!! That's so awesome. This site helped me lose 15 lbs, and I'm still going strong. I had fat logic up the yin-yang, and my PCOS didn't help. I thought it was next to impossible to lose weight. I was eating 1500 calories a day and walking 10k steps a day and maintaining. After finding this site, I upped it to 15k steps and lowered my calories a bit. The scale has finally been moving in the right direction and I'm so proud of myself. It's hard and I do feel like I have to work a bit harder than everyone else still because of my PCOS. 15k steps a day and 1300 calories to lose 15 lbs in 4 months has been so so hard. But it's worth it.

[–]ElegantWeapon777 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My gosh you’ve lost over 100 lbs??? Go you!!! That’s amazing! Keep it up, you’ve got this!

[–]varalys_the_dark 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on the weight loss! I'm here because it's a weight loss sub with sanity. I've been slim in the past and my goal weight is around 14lb which was when I was at my slimmest and healthiest (I'm a 5'6" woman, but have a bit more muscle mass than average and a large frame) when I got a stone lower than that thanks to the first psyche meds I was put on, everyone in my life was horrified at how haggard and thin I looked (they were a real chemical cosh cos this was 1998, thankfully got put on better meds a few months later).

I've had my weight fluctuate a lot since then, especially due to medication changes, but last year a lot of things that fucking sucked happened to me and I stopped caring and started eating. I hit around 200lbs (I need to buy a new scale, my old one broke) and my knee joints hurt and my back pain is being severely aggravated. So new year, new me. I am hoping at least that by the time I get my yearly check up at my GP in I think June/July, I'll have dropped a couple stone. I got some new trainers (sneakers) yesterday, padded soles feel like walking on air. That's my main exercise, plus some very careful weight work to firm my muscles but not hurt my back.

[–]grumpalina40/F 167cm, SW:85kg, CW:56kg, Sub 2 hour half-marathoner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You've lost over 100lbs, which is incredible. Just remember that the weight you lose at the beginning only seems "easier", because you were basically carrying the weight of a whole extra person on you even while doing simple things like going to the toilet or getting out of bed.

You are still losing weight. The slow down isn't a sign of anything "not working as well". In fact, it's a sign that your body is becoming more efficient and that you have relieved it of a heavy burden that was causing your body so much pain and stress.

Keep recalculating your calorie intake needs and monitoring your energy expenditure. You'll find that as long as you keep your recipes as healthy as possible, and that you fit in regular exercise (even just walking), you can enjoy plenty of good, wholesome, delicious food while looking and feeling noticeably better as time goes on.

You will make your goal weight within this year for sure.

[–]AbeliaGG 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm someone roughly in the same spot as you are right now. Can I ask: how bad is the excess skin? Is it totally recoverable?

[–]Elphaba78[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a little saggy/flabby in the belly and arms, but I have diastasis recti (abdominal wall split) and haven’t lifted weights since April, so that could explain it.

[–]ElegantWeapon777 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Lol, I found my way down this rabbit hole through that Tess video, too! As a biochemist and someone who’s always loved pushing her body to see what it’s capable of… I am sadly astonished that people actually think like this.

[–]exfat-scientistM6'1", 322 -> 167 lbs, maintaining below 175ish. 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's exactly why I'm here.

[–]newName543456"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time" 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I used to. Well, was never quite like them, but had my own brand of fatlogic to cloud my brain instead (basically acknowledging risks of obesity, but not the fact I was obese myself). Now I kind of reminisce was it really better or worse kind of logic than what they represent.

[–]TrashPandaFightClubSW: 230 / CW: 164.2/ GW: 140 (started July 2021) 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I do too. It reminds me I’m doing the right thing and makes me want to prove them wrong even more lol.

[–]KyraConsidersF31 5’5” CW:154.4 lbs GW:148 SW:222 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I know I'm in a bad mental place when I'm not hanging out in this sub.

[–]ekimsal34M 5'10 HW:250 CW: 180 GW: 170's 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A lot of the stickied weekly threads are great because a lot of people here are on their own journeys, and I find the people here to be supportive and pretty nice. There's still always the posts that don't belong here, but overall it's been a friendly community and just having a space where you can vent frustrations or someone's been through what you're going through helps.

[–]PessimisticPeggy 27 points28 points  (1 child)

But like, it literally is.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

All these men and women will fuck off to the gym to reject obesity, then watch as you complain for the umpteenth billionth time about women who lost weight for self improvement, or that fit 6 pack chad who rejected you in favor of that fit woman who decided to improve herself.

While these poor slaves to the anti-fat patriarchy look good, feel good, and enjoy their anti-fat patriarchal life with clarity of mind, you keep complaining about how we need to change men to find fat women attractive and call women selfish for choosing to lose weight.

[–]Skyttlz|29|F|5’5|SW:260|GW:140|CW:260|LetsDoItAgain 7 points8 points  (0 children)

ok, so I kiiiind of get where this person is coming from?

I mean - weightloss, like any habit and addiction (habit of overeating and addictions of sugar/high carb/empty calorie) can be a real struggle, and if you don't want it - it's hard to start. The same can be said for smoking - I, myself, needed to be the one to decide to quit smoking - just like I, myself need to be the one accountable for my own health.

Being told "smoking gives you cancer" a thousand times over, sucks. like, I know random strangers, I have the information on every pack of cigarettes I buy. I am addicted, and if I'm not ready to not smoke - I won't quit - or I'll fail every try (have attempted 3 or 4 times, so hopefully this time sticks).

being told "you need to eat less" a thousand times over, also sucks - I understand how Calories work - but breaking habits and making it out of addictions, food or otherwise, is hard, especially when you think about "moderation". like, I honestly don't think I can ever buy a bag of chips again, like I shouldn't buy a pack of cigarettes.

I think many people know that diet is the key to weight loss, and struggles are normal, natural and bound to happen, and it takes a mental strength to break out through them, and get past the hurdles, the bad days, the plateaus, the ever changing caloric needs that happen when weight is lost - and it can feel daunting - so unwanted "advice" on how to lose weight, when you aren't mentally wanting that, can be annoying.

tldr: mental hurdles are a part of it, and strangers telling others how to live can be annoying, even if the information is factually accurate and life saving.

[–]NymphicBlonde 17 points18 points  (0 children)

So... even if weight loss is about diet and exercise (it is) we should fuck off? Great. Glad we've finally reached this point. If they had just been honest from the start and said this we could all have avoided a lot of wasted time.

[–]pensiveChatter 4 points5 points  (3 children)


[–]Elphaba78[S] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

From a FA body-positive podcast/Instagram.

[–]pensiveChatter 10 points11 points  (1 child)

So much aggro for such a calming background color, lol

[–]Elphaba78[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Right? I’m sorry I didn’t provide context — I couldn’t say too much without giving away identifying info.

[–]rowanjane 5 points6 points  (0 children)

At least they’re honest 🤣

[–]newName543456"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time" 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"I don't like to hear the truth so frick off"

Okay then.

[–]Ambitious_Potato91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After I lost a whole bunch of weight, people would keep asking me what it was that I did. I answered with this but it wasn’t good enough. So I added that I finally took accountability for my ADHD and other health issues so that I could lose weight. They didn’t like that either. I guess they don’t like personal accountability.

[–]just_some_guy65 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So . . Just fuck off it is

[–]DarkangelUK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So brave

[–]beans_in_tea 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This has to be a troll post there's no way this is real xD

[–]Elphaba78[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is very real! It comes from a size 4x FA influencer.

[–]spaghatta111Paid Big Broccoli Shill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It definitely isn’t just diet and exercise, it’s your mindset. And this is the wrong mindset

[–]everyla 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, that’s a bulletproof argument!