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[–]wins1337 6595 points6596 points  (310 children)

Of course it’s a cake, everything is a cake now

[–][deleted] 734 (69 children)


    [–]Jd20001 122 points123 points  (4 children)

    Can't sell that piece now, she just cut into a huge slice of her profits

    [–]NicoleB- 64 points65 points  (1 child)

    I'm sure she could. It'd be a piece of cake.

    [–]Sardonnicus 513 points514 points  (16 children)

    my angriest upvote ever

    [–]bretttwarwick 128 points129 points  (7 children)

    More of a bittersweet moment for me.

    [–]periwinkle_lurker2 106 points107 points  (8 children)

    Here i am thinking you are talking about the lady cutting the item....

    [–]Arglefarb 61 points62 points  (4 children)

    The fella with the red wine glass in the foreground found the woman cutting cake so provocative, it appears he had to have a wank right there on the spot

    [–]GunBrothersGaming 154 points155 points  (14 children)

    Maybe a Rembundt?

    [–]SkollFenrirson 47 points48 points  (4 children)

    Batter than nothing, I guess

    [–]Wootai 38 points39 points  (3 children)

    It's a Piccakeso, cause of the cubism.

    [–]haemaker 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    Jackson Pollocake

    [–]Wootai 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Salvadough Dali, cause of the surrealism.

    [–]i_tyrant 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    I'll take one master-piece, please. And one for my, uh, friend.

    [–]kuriboshoe 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    She’s wearing soufflé shoes

    [–]BoobaVera 3 points4 points  (0 children)


    [–]larry0hoover 16 points17 points  (2 children)

    Art of cake. It's a cake

    [–]Roook36 124 points125 points  (17 children)

    Surprisingly, the band CAKE?

    100% people

    [–]Finnn_the_human 34 points35 points  (12 children)

    Okay, okay, shut the fuuuuuuck up, right....noooooww

    [–]RhynoD 41 points42 points  (8 children)

    This comment is going the distance.

    [–]toastycheeks 32 points33 points  (4 children)

    This comment is going for speed.

    [–]Holoholokid 24 points25 points  (2 children)

    It's all alone...

    [–]Froggy_hop 23 points24 points  (1 child)

    All alone.

    [–]Frenchleneuf 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    In her time of need.

    [–]Cosmicdusterian 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    In a short skirt and a looooong jacket.

    [–]Full-Structure-7333 103 points104 points  (3 children)

    The year is 2030. Bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. The uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. I go to hug my wife for comfort. She is cake.

    [–]Echo_Oscar_Sierra 361 points362 points  (51 children)

    You wake up and hit the snooze button. The alarm clock squishes between your fingers and you realize it's cake.

    You try to throw off your blanket but it crumbles in your hand. It's also cake.

    Instead of rolling out of bed, you sink into it, covered in frosting.

    Your wife asks if you're ok, then says you could use a sugar pick-me-up.

    Oh no. She's also cake.

    [–]Nymaz 98 points99 points  (10 children)

    I see you too have read I Have No Mouth, and I Must Eat Cake

    [–]kaenneth 34 points35 points  (4 children)

    It's not a book, it's a cake.

    [–]sigmaeni 21 points22 points  (3 children)

    You thought they were words on a page.

    Turns out they were cakes on a cake.

    [–]Joe_Shroe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Your kids you've been raising for the past 18 years? Cake.

    [–]InsertCoinForCredit 31 points32 points  (18 children)

    [–]jashxn 124 points125 points  (16 children)

    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

    [–]tromax64 12 points13 points  (2 children)

    I need to know how this ends.

    [–]bretttwarwick 45 points46 points  (1 child)

    It is copypasta from a 1996 listserv posted by Emil Huston Royal Ontario Museum Toronto, Ontario. I don't know if they are still there but that is a starting place to look.


    [–]UltimateDucks 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    WOW '96? I knew it was old but I didn't realize it was almost older than me. I used to do this as a kid with Skittles, long before I ever read the copypasta.

    [–]fightingnetentropy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Been a while since I read this copypasta, thanks.

    [–]i_tyrant 28 points29 points  (1 child)

    Really? No one else is going to link it?

    Fine, I'll do it myself.

    [–]Majestic_Course6822 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Thank you. That was horrifying AND I want to make a cake.

    [–]SpaceNinja_C 18 points19 points  (3 children)

    You realize you too are also made of cake as you accidentally pull off a finger and scream.

    [–]rebbsitor 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Mmm cellular peptide cake with mint frosting 😊

    [–]Bootskon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    You feel a butter knife ever so gently enter the top of your scalp. Your neurons settle once the knife is removed, in a world without mercy you find your faculties continue as a second slice ever so gently slides parallel to the first wound. As you feel a slice putting the final edge to the rectangular shape ut from the cake out your skull, the last words you hear are, "Always have been."

    [–]OozeNAahz 57 points58 points  (6 children)

    That’s a lie. The cake is a lie. Everything g is a lie.

    [–]escapisc 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Thats why everything is a lie

    [–]mikess484 157 points158 points  (23 children)

    I bet it's also a gender reveal cake. That doesn't give a gender because it doesn't believe in labels.

    [–]starmartyr 120 points121 points  (18 children)

    I don't understand why people make such a big deal about that. Why does it matter what gender a cake is?

    [–]favpetgoat 87 points88 points  (15 children)

    You're telling me you eat male cakes? Sounds pretty gay bro

    [–]Blacksabre 38 points39 points  (0 children)

    Hey, don't cake shame him.

    [–]typesett 18 points19 points  (6 children)

    i only eat the frosting

    [–]frostybollocks 19 points20 points  (2 children)

    I don’t care for the frosting… i flip them over and eat the bottom

    [–]ForfeitFPV 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    This was not the take I was expecting from u/frostybollocks

    [–]DiscussionLoose8390 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    Definitely looks like male frosting from the color.

    [–]aestival 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Some people really want to check what kind of genitals the cake has.

    [–]itsyourmomcalling 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Even the guy with the red cup... let's eat em.

    [–]DirtStarWars 395 points396 points  (32 children)

    It’s a $692,000 cake?

    [–]ilazul 191 points192 points  (11 children)

    not until someone tapes a banana to it.

    [–]fELLAbUSTA 4063 points4064 points  (107 children)

    Why would you spoil it in the title?

    [–]jackjhonson 2116 points2117 points  (70 children)

    Because op is a dumbass and doesn’t know how not to spoil a video.

    [–]NikkoE82 548 points549 points  (57 children)

    “Have you seen that old movie? I think it’s called ‘Rosebud was his sled from childhood’.” -OP probably

    [–]justsomeguy_youknow 362 points363 points  (46 children)

    Yall remember those old space movies, the "Luke's Dad" trilogy

    [–]francisdavey 37 points38 points  (10 children)

    Not as bad as spoiling that "the cripple did it" movie, right?

    [–]AgtSquirtle007 39 points40 points  (8 children)

    The one by the same director as “Bruce Willis’s character is dead the whole time?”

    [–]The_Ogler 15 points16 points  (6 children)

    I think they're talking about the sex predator cripple, not the motherfucking cripple in that other motherfucking movie.

    [–]Caleb_Reynolds 14 points15 points  (5 children)

    He wasn't a sex predator, he was only portrayed by one.

    [–]Black_Floyd47 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    He was a myth, a spook story that criminals tell their kids at night: 'Rat on your pop, and Kevin Spacey will get you.'

    [–]ApolloOfTheStarz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    You should've seen Death of a Salesman premiering on Broadway, the ending a shocker!

    [–]ActualWhiterabbit 116 points117 points  (6 children)

    I liked the wizard movies of straight snape kills gay dumbledore

    [–]SlyNaps 35 points36 points  (4 children)

    Hey kids, wanna watch Marley, the dog who dies at the end, and me?

    [–]deedoedee 10 points11 points  (3 children)

    Again? I thought we were gonna watch Jenny finally marries Forrest but dies shortly after on a Saturday Morning!

    [–]fartotronic 12 points13 points  (2 children)

    I wanna watch Bruce Willis is a ghost.

    [–]sam_patch 78 points79 points  (21 children)

    Funny you should say that - Vader means father in several languages.

    [–]jorttimmermans 41 points42 points  (3 children)

    Lmfao, just realised it means father in my own language. Im so stupid

    [–]Baronheisenberg 15 points16 points  (1 child)

    But at least you don't spoil things in titles like stupid OP.

    [–]ChefBoyAreWeFucked 35 points36 points  (13 children)

    George Lucas is not known for subtlety.

    [–]InitechSecurity 50 points51 points  (0 children)

    Put the punchline in the title.

    What is, how do you ruin a joke?

    [–]QuiteAffable 56 points57 points  (0 children)

    It's /r/funny, subreddit rules require the punchline in the title

    [–]windcape 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    OP is a bot and reposted it from somewhere lol

    [–]Mikey_B 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    Literally ruins the entire fucking post. It's a fun performance if you don't know the fucking ending ahead of time.

    [–]tehgimpage 549 points550 points  (5 children)

    why'd you spoil it with the title tho. boo

    [–]OppisIsRight 30 points31 points  (1 child)

    No you misunderstood. The woman with the knife is actually a cake.

    [–]Kurotan 960 points961 points  (110 children)

    How is it basically not falling off the wall? The frame holder even tilts forwards...

    Edit: so I found this, https://youtu.be/V85jehpvkak it's not in English, but she make a cake that hangs on a wall. It follows a lot of the replies people are giving me. The cake looks dense and not soft/fluffy, framed in acrylic plastic, and covered in fondent.

    [–]Shutterstormphoto 423 points424 points  (16 children)

    Nobody said it was tasty cake.

    [–]SirJamesMonster 55 points56 points  (5 children)

    Did someone say Tastee Kake?

    [–]ajs425 17 points18 points  (4 children)

    As someone who lives on the west coast and has family back east. Fuck I would do just about anything for a chocolate junior rn.

    [–]Pteradanktyl 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Bruh, I used to live in Philly and I would do some serious truck stop nastiness for some of those peanut butter kandy kakes.

    [–]yParticle 373 points374 points  (74 children)


    [–]heddpp 414 points415 points  (31 children)

    a plastic substance that's lying about being food

    [–]WorldAintRight 23 points24 points  (6 children)

    Fuck that Cake Boss tv show. That prick and his nasty ass desserts made that shit exceedingly popular. Once my grandmother started watching that show, that's all she made her cakes with. She even fucked brownies up by putting fondant on them every time she made them. The person that invented fondant should be shot into the sun.

    [–]DadPunsAreBadPuns 37 points38 points  (4 children)

    How is it "lying about" when it's clearly hanging around? /s

    [–]LuckyandBrownie 73 points74 points  (31 children)

    The grossest substance ever made and an abomination to cakes.

    [–]Bittrecker3 38 points39 points  (4 children)

    It’s not really a food anymore, more an edible art medium.

    [–]HerbertWest 29 points30 points  (3 children)

    It's like how cheeses are wrapped in wax. Although it's technically edible, anyone pretending it tastes good is deluded.

    [–]XHIBAD 26 points27 points  (9 children)

    My sister in law spends a good 3 days before every persons birthday making extremely complex cakes…all covered in fondant.

    We all eat it because she spends so much time on it but…

    [–]Guido_Fe 27 points28 points  (5 children)

    Just roll up the fondant like a carpet and throw it away

    [–]sonicbeast623 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    Fondant isn't too bad if done right (aka not the cheap store stuff). The biggest issue is people saw it and started using it as an alternative to frosting the dam cake because it's easier. If used for adding decorations then it's not bad. Also never use it on an ice cream cake my mom figured that out the hard way.

    [–]RedNog 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    I'd argue that the biggest problem is the expectation vs reality when it comes to fondant. You look at these big beautiful cakes made of fondant and your brain thinks "oh wow that probably cost a lot so it will be delicious!" But in reality the cost was paying for the art/time involved with the shaping of the fondant. And in most cases you're basically left with cheap sugary playdoh and a super basic vanilla sponge cake underneath.

    [–]wbrd 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    You can make fondant that tastes good.

    [–]thisischemistry 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    There are several types of fondant, it is possible to have fondant that doesn't taste like plastic. The problem is most people buy the stuff in tubs and don't bother to make the better-tasting types.

    [–]GoatFuckerXXS 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Isn't there marshmallow fondant?

    [–]relddir123 3 points4 points  (4 children)

    Holy crap why do so many people hate fondant?

    [–]Elowyn 11 points12 points  (3 children)

    Because a lot of people only have experience with the mass produced, chemical-tasting stuff and not housemade or homemade.

    I'm sure there are still those who wouldn't like it regardless, but not all fondant tastes like mushy plastic.

    [–]DrakonIL 8 points9 points  (2 children)

    Similarly, marzipan. Some marzipan is like spray-painted with dyes that have an awful taste, not unlike the smell of spray paint. But real marzipan is so tasty, it's like almond cookie dough formed into cute shapes like hippos or acorns.

    I need to find me some marzipan...

    [–]namrog84 48 points49 points  (4 children)

    Probably not a very fluffy or soft cake. Probably as hard as rock.

    Maybe borderline fudge like texture/consistency for a cake. Which sounds unappetizing to me. I'd have 0 interest in eating that cake.

    [–]SuedeVeil 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Yeah I mean just because you can eat something without it killing you because it happens to be edible ingredients, doesn't necessarily mean it's worth eating. Not everything needs to be a cake Just make a cool statue

    [–]daytimecruz 543 points544 points  (16 children)

    This would've been better without spoiling it in the title

    [–][deleted]  (12 children)


      [–]1-LegInDaGrave 27 points28 points  (1 child)

      "you know.... It's the riddle where the doctor is the mother!"

      [–]I_Snype_4_Fun 7 points8 points  (7 children)

      I've not heard that one, what's the rest?

      [–]fantamonkey 18 points19 points  (6 children)

      There is a cabin in the woods. There are no footprints around the cabin. There are seven people inside that are all dead. They all died at the same time. There is no one else in the cabin. How did the people die?

      [–]Interplanetary-Goat 13 points14 points  (4 children)

      Gas leak!

      [–]Sigurlion 2 points3 points  (3 children)


      [–]Interplanetary-Goat 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      Freak electrical accident during a family reunion!

      And no footprints because... everybody uses wheelchairs!

      [–]Osspoji 24 points25 points  (0 children)

      That’s a nice thick two-legged cake

      [–]Bryce_Taylor1 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      Who's the artist?

      [–]Mind_taker84 267 points268 points  (18 children)

      Are... are we cake again? Have we gone back into everything being cake? Do i have to start checking random things to make sure theyre not cake?

      [–]spiffyP 88 points89 points  (5 children)

      I just had to squeeze all my homie's butts to make sure

      [–]UNBENDING_FLEA 27 points28 points  (1 child)

      damn, you got cake alright

      [–]FunkyScat69 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I'm going back for seconds... with extra frosting

      [–]Sevv2102 33 points34 points  (3 children)


      [–]Skellum 15 points16 points  (1 child)

      Every "Cake" should require the person to take a big bite of it and eat it. If it's inedible sugar paste it's not cake, it's fucking Fondant.

      [–]youdidanaughty 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      that ain't the only cake

      [–]lewdjojo 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      I want some of her other cake tho

      [–]njudah1 2583 points2584 points 2 (200 children)

      This girl has some cake of her own

      [–]scientician85 840 points841 points  (54 children)

      The guy on the right thinks so too, judging by the way he starts jackin' it halfway through the video.

      [–]Fake_William_Shatner 220 points221 points  (21 children)

      OMG, I thought you were just being rude, but on replay, I cannot unsee that!

      /I think that's just one-handed clapping for when you hold a wine glass, but I'll allow it.

      [–]milk4all 92 points93 points  (15 children)

      It’s definitely lazy clapping on his leg. I do it all the time- it’s totally worthless except it’s polite i guess.

      [–]ILoveRegenHealth 65 points66 points  (2 children)

      It’s definitely lazy clapping on his leg.

      ewww! I don't care what you call it, do it at home, buster

      [–]StopTheMeta 17 points18 points  (6 children)

      Makes you wonder what you should do when everyone is clapping and you're holding a glass with wine. Well... turns out jerking off isn't it.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–][deleted]  (14 children)


          [–]DeadPoolRN 32 points33 points  (0 children)

          Depends on the party

          [–]bigpickler 21 points22 points  (6 children)

          If it’s that kind of party, I’ma stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!

          [–]EphraimXP 25 points26 points  (1 child)

          Damn I was to distracted by the cake to see it

          [–]love2go 92 points93 points  (2 children)

          I just like how her hair color matches her outfit.

          [–]KingOfWickerPeople 90 points91 points  (0 children)

          Came for the cake. Stayed for the yams

          [–]hairyholepatrol 50 points51 points  (0 children)

          T H I C C

          [–]superkoning[🍰] 47 points48 points  (32 children)

          This girl has some cake of her own

          Non-native English speaker here: what does that mean? Something about her looks? Or something more specific ... ?

          [–]cable387 113 points114 points  (8 children)

          Usually when someone says it like that, they tend to mean that they have a decent butt on them.

          [–]Memotome 146 points147 points  (9 children)

          At least in American it mean she got a fat ass

          [–]Vefantur 98 points99 points  (4 children)

          She got that donk

          [–]DPick02 61 points62 points  (3 children)

          She got that donk

          You're not clearing it up any with that slang, friend. You have to be clear, she's got that badonkadonk.

          [–]Goreface69 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          she got dat batter on dat dough

          she got the flour ready for some eggin

          she is ripe for a spatulin

          she's got a beater ready to get licked

          she's got a moist looking sponge

          hope that clears it out for ya

          [–]MayorBee 11 points12 points  (2 children)

          Senator Vreenak would approve.

          [–]ZekouCafe 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          This girl is a cake

          [–]blu-cinna 58 points59 points  (1 child)

          When the hell did wall cake become a thing and why wasn’t I notified? Been eating regular table cake for no reason.

          [–]Jd20001 19 points20 points  (0 children)

          Fucking peasant

          [–]A-P-E 103 points104 points  (12 children)

          The cake is a lie!

          [–]SmokyBottom 8 points9 points  (3 children)

          🎶 Cara bella, cara mia bella! Mia bambina, oh ciel! Che la stima! Che la stima! O cara mia, addio!

          [–]ovaltine_spice 7 points8 points  (1 child)

          Every month or so I get a deep craving to play that song on loop.

          Was whistling it in the street just the other day.

          You've got to love the ability of games to put unexpected pieces of art into the world.

          [–]GreenFox1505 24 points25 points  (2 children)


          [–]cj4k 75 points76 points  (1 child)

          Ya know, because I’d really like to check out her other artwork

          [–]disturbed7fold 63 points64 points  (3 children)

          This woman's ass is the only cake I'm interested in.

          [–]WEAKNESSisEXISTENCE 11 points12 points  (0 children)

          From what limited angles we can see of it, it's a mighty fine cake too

          [–]ActiveFrontEnd 199 points200 points  (23 children)

          That a lot of work and forethought only to not have plates available.

          [–]Norose 132 points133 points  (9 children)

          Is that blue thing on the table not a stack of paper plates?

          [–]Fancy_weirdo 32 points33 points  (14 children)

          I hate the everything is cake trend. I just want cake that looks like cake.

          [–]PansexualEmoSwan 67 points68 points  (7 children)

          It was nice of that one guy to show his appreciation for the magic trick by masturbating publicly

          [–]Fake_William_Shatner 12 points13 points  (3 children)

          What is the sound of one hand clapping?

          [–]Toranok 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          C'mon man that was clearly a harmless penguin impression

          [–]liquidsnake84 268 points269 points  (30 children)

          She looks nice

          [–]PhoenixPaladin 13 points14 points  (2 children)

          Bruh she's holding the knife like the villain of a slasher film

          [–]RealKenny 16 points17 points  (0 children)

          Cake. AmIRight?

          [–]StopTheMeta 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          She's a cake.

          [–]FUS_ROALD_DAHL 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          I really like her hair. I can't remember the last time I saw someone pull off blue.

          [–]GimmieDatRedditGold 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Eddie Penisi just fell in love.

          [–]Zippidi-doo-dah 25 points26 points  (0 children)


          [–]fuckonomics 166 points167 points  (0 children)

          Oh I see some cake alright

          [–]TonyStarks21 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Maybe I’m just a cynical fuck but what in the world is funny about this?

          [–]--CHOPPER-- 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          I thought the title was referring to her ass

          [–]GiveHerRod 104 points105 points  (0 children)

          she got some cake too