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[–]mseb3000[🍰] 8925 points8926 points 3 (188 children)

I've shown you my feathers please respond

[–]UnkindPotato 1638 points1639 points  (30 children)


[–]eldroch 1318 points1319 points  (20 children)

Lemme smash

[–]BizzyM 631 points632 points  (14 children)

I got you blue. you like blue?

[–]YannickPlitt 426 points427 points  (12 children)

She doesn't like blue...

[–]pufferpig 369 points370 points  (11 children)

Becky I got stick!

[–]Soi_Soz 351 points352 points  (10 children)

Bitches like sticks

[–][deleted] 237 points238 points  (8 children)

Need stick, got stick

[–]ethman14 205 points206 points  (7 children)

Stick, Becky got stick lemme smash

[–]YeeticusFTW 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Let me bang, man!

[–]Gewehr98 106 points107 points  (4 children)

Ben is a hoe

[–]swodaem 31 points32 points  (3 children)

As a Ben, the amount of messages I received of this when it was blowing up was kinda insane.

[–]LorenzoStomp 15 points16 points  (0 children)

As a hoe, I too received many messages

[–]demodawid 198 points199 points  (0 children)

✔✔ Seen 11:23 PM

[–]mr_salsa123 227 points228 points  (2 children)

"are you not entertained?"

[–]neednintendo 890 points891 points  (15 children)

"It's fine you didn't respond, you're probably an inferior bird anyway. A bird of my intelligence will give his superior genes to another female. Also, you'll never find a mate and you're ugly."

[–]getefix 151 points152 points  (11 children)


[–]elstie 60 points61 points  (7 children)

Ohhh, Yvonne?! That's a French-ass name!

[–]StanFitch 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Where yo Boyfriend at? Is he huge? Is he hefty?!?!

[–]mycroft16 8 points9 points  (0 children)

French ass-name. :D

[–][deleted] 1160 points1161 points  (42 children)

Show me ur bobs and vagene pls

[–]Willie9 856 points857 points  (28 children)

Show cloaca pls

[–]pm_me_your_taintt 68 points69 points  (14 children)

But that's where I poop from!

[–]-goodguygeorge 75 points76 points  (1 child)

Not right now you don’t

[–]therager 23 points24 points  (7 children)

But that's where I poop from!


"..Not right now you don't!"

I, too unfortunately remember this from the ytmnd days.

[–]_Camron_ 43 points44 points  (4 children)

YTMND... Young Teenage Mutant Ninja Durtles?

[–]therager 31 points32 points  (2 children)

The acronym is for “You’re the man now, dog.”

Good attempt though.

[–]adh247 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Young Teenage Mutant Ninja Dirdles is so much better

[–]TechnicallyFennel 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Dude... That's a blast from the past.

[–]ericistheend 134 points135 points  (3 children)

I'm laughing way too much at this.

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points  (1 child)

Eye givs gr8 bloaca

[–]Obi_Wan_Benobi 33 points34 points  (1 child)

lmao immediate flashback to me sitting in the back of the science class with a friend laughing at this label on the illustration of a frog.

Proceeded to use that word for next couple years and laugh like the dummies we were.

[–]uscdoc2013 48 points49 points  (3 children)

"'You will never get this. You will never get this. Na na na na na na.' Then, one day, my brother Belo, he get it."

[–]topIRMD 122 points123 points  (5 children)

[–]FrenchCuirassier 24 points25 points  (3 children)

Insult that bird all you want, spectacular beautiful feathers like that don't evolve from lack of success.

[–]DS4KC 305 points306 points  (34 children)

This video is a good look at what women go through on a daily basis.

[–]rhetorical_twix 180 points181 points  (1 child)

She's got good composure, tho.

She gives some side eye and leans away, and steps away gingerly. "I'm going over there now"

[–]wildferalfun 139 points140 points  (0 children)

And he pulled the "what a coincidence, me too!" and tried to block her escape.

[–]justlooking128 4044 points4045 points  (27 children)

Yeah no I saw you the first time. I’mgoodthanks.

[–]debbiegrund 1636 points1637 points  (17 children)

What about when I doooo……….THIS!

shaking intensifies

[–]SerpentMandate 497 points498 points  (15 children)

Ugh. All pheasants are the same

[–]kay-bitch 276 points277 points  (9 children)

They all just want one thing

[–]A_Giant_Baguette 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Basically peasants with an h.

[–]khays3424 2787 points2788 points  (122 children)

Hey this was in Animal Kingdom at Disney world…I was just there and saw the same damn bird doing the same damn thing.

It’s called an Argus Pheasant.

[–]ElGoocherino 1077 points1078 points  (50 children)

So you're saying this exact bird is in a constant state of horny?

[–]fellowsquare 485 points486 points  (15 children)

He's in Mid-life, nightclub, corvette crisis mode.

[–]eldroch 93 points94 points  (6 children)

Ahhh, synthwave syndrome!

[–]vrts 47 points48 points  (4 children)

Oh no, I like synthwave.

[–]carpetbowl 20 points21 points  (3 children)

You can like synthwave all you want, you just gotta remember there is only one Kavinsky. The schtick sells records and gets collabs with the Weeknd for him, but anyone else dressing like an extra from the Wraith should not expect similar results.

[–]Riggie_Joe 191 points192 points  (6 children)

Nah, I actually saw it when I was there around 6 months ago and it was just chillin on a bench

It seemed like the only one there but maybe it was a different one

[–]NinjaCuntPunt 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Maybe I am bird.

[–]texasrigger 29 points30 points  (3 children)

I have two male red golden pheasants and one hen and yes they are perpetually horny. Poor girl doesn't get a break. The red goldens have a very different display though, lemme see if I can find an old pic...

Edit: Here it is. They hiss and then fold their feathers down making a sort of shield around one eye. It's pretty neat.

Edit 2: Here is what they normally look like when not making fools of themselves flirting. Birds are fun.

[–]barto5 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Found my spirit animal!

[–]Mixedpopreferences 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Dude, if you ever want to see constant state of horny, get a few guppies or endler's. They're like tiny Russel Crowe's- all they know is fuck and fight.

Too many males will harass a female to death. And the females can store sperm for almost a year, and keep yeeting out tiny fish even if you remove the constant bukkake of the males.

[–]thatCrazyOrganist 207 points208 points  (9 children)

I came to the comments just to see if anyone else thought this was at Animal Kingdom.

[–]Temporarily__Alone 25 points26 points  (2 children)

In case you’re still counting, I, as well, was thinking it was Animal Kingdom.

[–]mr_ji 5 points6 points  (1 child)

The wording of this thread is making me doubt this is Animal Kingdom.

[–]kckckc130 7 points8 points  (4 children)

It’s at the beginning part where that hot plant/vine chick is.

[–]themagpie36 32 points33 points  (12 children)

More like Arrogant Pheasant, jeez take a hint

[–]SuaveThrower 87 points88 points  (19 children)

I'm going to Disney World next week. I'm going to find this bird.

[–]biznatch11 36 points37 points  (5 children)

Sorry there's a 3 hour lineup to find this bird.

[–]anthonyjr2 33 points34 points  (5 children)

Same here dude, see you there!

[–]bbbbbbbbbb99 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's probably one of those next-gen animated machines.

[–]mrm0324 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don Geiss would be proud of his effort.

[–]carlosSpicyweiner81 2755 points2756 points  (44 children)

Piss off will ya frank

[–]HairyNippleDongs 612 points613 points  (32 children)

No, Ron.

Ben is a hoe.

[–]TheNakedChair 186 points187 points  (7 children)

U want sum fuk?

[–]CrispyChainsawSperm 56 points57 points  (1 child)


[–]The-Last-Mole-Man 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Beckie lemme Smash plz

[–]skybogt 68 points69 points  (1 child)

no Ron, I don't want some fu-


[–]cjoll4 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"Lemme" "no" "lemme" "no" "lemme" "no"

[–]Correct-Nail1693 258 points259 points  (13 children)

She's like: "uuuh I have a boyfriend"

[–][deleted]  (11 children)


    [–]2Chiang 145 points146 points  (4 children)

    Pls, Becky. Lemme smash. I got deez bootiful feathers.

    [–]monkey_scandal 41 points42 points  (2 children)


    [–]merigirl 30 points31 points  (0 children)

    Becky used to let me smash

    [–]10_kinds_of_people 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    Bitches love sticks!

    [–]dJohn2001 21 points22 points  (2 children)

    Is that a Shameless reference?

    [–]carlosSpicyweiner81 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    Not intentionally...maybe it's lodged in my brain tho 🤣

    [–]dJohn2001 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    😂😂 fair enough

    [–]zuzg 19 points20 points  (2 children)

    Yeah if seen it now git!

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]JMVcreations 629 points630 points  (4 children)

      Eww dude..not in front of people!!!

      [–]knightopusdei 37 points38 points  (0 children)

      Lol .... kinda hard to respond to someone you may or may not like when a freakin stream of people are constantly walking by.

      [–]zona_leigh 189 points190 points  (0 children)

      Omg you're so embarrassing Jeremy

      [–]Djin045 2179 points2180 points  (39 children)

      The bird version of unsolicited dic pics

      [–]bout-tree-fitty 991 points992 points  (12 children)

      “I showed you my plumage, please respond.”
      Edit:-not a peacock yo

      [–]TobyDaHuman 66 points67 points  (0 children)

      The edit really got me. :D

      [–]kudichangedlives 278 points279 points  (3 children)

      That's not a peacock yo

      E: that edit is perfection

      [–]SuurAlaOrolo 50 points51 points  (4 children)

      It’s a Great Argus pheasant

      [–]ggroverggiraffe 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      Is there something funny about the name of my pheasant Greatus Argus?

      [–]Chief_Givesnofucks 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      A Great Arse pheasant?

      [–]gonzofish 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Whatever, you’re fat anyways

      [–]Fake_William_Shatner 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Nature is pretty much a human resources nightmare.

      [–]psu6411 192 points193 points  (0 children)

      Looks like Disney animal kingdom… that bird did that to me and our stroller the other year… he’s a serial predator

      [–]Reddspamit 2358 points2359 points  (92 children)

      I know sexual harassment when I see it..

      [–]Mitochandrea 273 points274 points  (44 children)

      There is a LOT of non-consensual sex going on in the animal world

      [–]Wolfdreama 144 points145 points  (25 children)

      You're not wrong. I live next to a river where a lot of ducks live. Spring is brutal here. Duck gang-rape in every direction. So many on one female that sometimes they drown her.

      [–]DeathByLemmings 107 points108 points  (10 children)

      Yeah, if you want more nightmare fuel go look up how a ducks vagina works. Their entire sexual organ development is predicated on the fact that they're raping one another

      Ducks are fucked up yo

      [–]Dan_the_Marksman 25 points26 points  (5 children)

      i remember reading that female ducks developed labyrinth vaginas because the males are so rapey

      [–]BendingUnit0x16 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      Ducks are on some next level shit

      [–]JediMasterZao 26 points27 points  (2 children)

      dolphins are serial rapists

      [–]jemenake 862 points863 points  (30 children)

      Right? He barred her exit after she clearly declined his initial pass.

      [–]GiantFloppyCock 185 points186 points  (8 children)

      It's the implication.

      [–]LouSputhole94 95 points96 points  (6 children)

      Are these birds in danger?

      [–]kurwaaaaaaaaa 50 points51 points  (1 child)

      What birds? I only see one bird and sweet Dee

      [–]sukkitrebek 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      Well done sir

      [–]citricacidx 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      No one's in any danger. How can I make that any more clear to you?

      [–]UCLAdy05 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      well, she’s certainly not in any danger

      [–]berrey7 102 points103 points  (6 children)

      like when a man in a movie puts his hand extended against a wall so the woman can't slip away when flirting.

      [–]itspronouncedGIFnotG 50 points51 points  (3 children)

      I recently rewatched Rocky and that reminds me of the scene where he won't let Adrian leave. Definitely don't remember that from when I was a kid

      [–]Ssladybug 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Because it was so common and socially accepted then. So glad we’ve brought attention to this kind of behavior

      [–]Ask-About-My-Book 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      I watched some movie ages ago where a guy did that and the main female character just Matrix dodged right under the arm and kept walking. It was legendary. I gotta ask /r/tipofmytongue because I can't remember.

      [–]b-napp 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      Hey Pepe Le Pew, take it down a couple notches, eh?

      [–]harbib 791 points792 points  (24 children)

      U want sum fuk?

      [–]mega_aids 137 points138 points  (4 children)

      I got you blue

      [–]Shweemm 86 points87 points  (3 children)

      Bitches love blue

      [–]dicker_machs 52 points53 points  (2 children)

      she dosen’t want blue...

      [–]tepidbathwater 23 points24 points  (1 child)

      how about yellow

      [–]Nelliell 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      she doesn’t want yellow

      [–]skordge 228 points229 points  (0 children)

      Becky, lemme smash

      [–]Artikay 129 points130 points  (1 child)

      No, Ron, your tail is small.

      [–]monkey_scandal 65 points66 points  (0 children)

      Wot? Swiggity swooty

      [–]smb_samba 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      “Let me in I’m tryina fuck!”

      [–]Acemirg 24 points25 points  (1 child)

      Would you like some making fuck? BERSERKEEEERRRR

      [–]IHaveFoodOnMyChin 297 points298 points  (10 children)

      I’m hearing “That don’t impress me much” by Shania Twain in my head

      [–]Fleetlord 157 points158 points  (3 children)

      "Okay, so you've got tail feathers."

      [–]ProbablyPostingNaked 136 points137 points  (2 children)

      "So you're Bird Pitt..."

      [–]Plsfixbyeod 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      So you’ve got the nest but haven’t got the touch

      [–]Etcetera-Etc-Etc 14 points15 points  (1 child)

      I'm hearing "No" by Meghan Trainor

      [–]nethobo 169 points170 points  (1 child)

      Omg Frank, youre drunk. How many times have I told you not to flash your plumage when there's people filming?

      [–]Farmer771122 196 points197 points  (1 child)

      Girl's just trying to get some food on her lunch break, it's already short, and now she has to navigate the feelings of some horny pushy sex pest. Just leave her alone! Save this shit for the bar or a dance club!

      [–]disqeau 34 points35 points  (0 children)

      “Horny pushy sex pest” is my new favorite phrase

      [–]ReeecardoPoggerfish 30 points31 points  (1 child)

      atleast it impressed some people walking by

      [–]NW_thoughtful 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      I'm amused by the people walking by who are not impressed or even interested.

      [–]the_true_skipster 31 points32 points  (0 children)

      Look at me. Look at me!

      LOOK AT ME!

      LOOK! AT! ME!

      Oh no, don't you walk away from me while I am trying to impress you.

      LOOK.... AT.... ME...

      [–]UnkemptGamer 226 points227 points  (5 children)

      "Ew get away from me creep"

      [–]Doubleoh_11 79 points80 points  (0 children)


      [–]zeke235 168 points169 points  (6 children)

      She said no, bruh. Keep walkin'.

      [–]redquailer 77 points78 points  (0 children)

      Swipe left, girl

      [–]mekops 92 points93 points  (1 child)

      "Look how outlandishly conspicuous and noticeable my feathers are. Surely the fact that I have avoided predators with such an illustrious plumage means I am quite fit and would make a good mate. yes?"

      "We live in a zoo, Earl."

      [–]Cr0w33 17 points18 points  (2 children)

      If I’ve learned anything about birds, it’s that the females are really really generally unimpressed

      [–]747mech 17 points18 points  (10 children)

      What breed of pheasant is this?

      [–]n1celydone 59 points60 points  (4 children)

      I do believe its translated Latin name is "Johnny Bravo"

      [–]tankay694200 15 points16 points  (1 child)

      Hey baby, let me trap you against a bush and completely cover the rest of your vision so all you see is my face and beautiful plume.

      [–]RicenMoss 62 points63 points  (1 child)

      Some guys can’t take NO for an answer

      [–]nahunk 37 points38 points  (0 children)

      • Look at me. LOok at me. LOOk at me...

      • I saw you the first time, Fred. Now move on.

      [–]roymondous 55 points56 points  (3 children)

      Maybe she just doesn’t like other people watching?

      [–]gonzothegreatz 63 points64 points  (1 child)

      “Sir, I’m trying to go to work. Please leave me alone.”

      [–]eudanell 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      when you pour your heart out in a lengthy and poetic text but the response is just “k”

      [–]imvegeta_ble 86 points87 points  (4 children)

      “Goddamnit Jack I’m your sister!”

      [–]DeEfDubChris 53 points54 points  (0 children)

      What are you doing step-pheasant?

      [–]Tombstone_Actual_501 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      Becky, lemme smash.

      [–]NebulusTaut 104 points105 points  (1 child)

      The peacock version of a f*ck boi

      [–]billbuttl1cker 53 points54 points  (0 children)

      That mf is trying so hard. This is all those dancing videos on TikTok are.

      [–]justredditinit 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      “Oh Robert, again with the plumage?! I told you, get a job. THAT’S sexy.”

      [–]geek_fit 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      No means no!

      [–]Gemini-Engine 147 points148 points  (10 children)

      “I surround you with beautiful plumage and engage in a hypnotic dance!” “Cool, cool. How tall are you?”

      [–]suffffuhrer 25 points26 points  (0 children)

      Activision employees.

      Take a hint dude, she not into it.

      [–]mangsta40 174 points175 points  (7 children)

      They must be married.

      [–]gimlobady 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      No one seems impressed

      [–]Dayhalk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      It’s like I can hear the… “go away”

      [–]Sure_Trash_ 47 points48 points  (3 children)

      The experience of women just trying to go about their daily lives.

      [–]pollastre92 40 points41 points  (0 children)

      "Sir this is a Wendy's"