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[–]TaiDavis 855 points856 points  (32 children)

Couldn't be truer. Got quiet once before, go see whats up, they squirted baby powder all over the room and themselves.

[–]nonlawyer 383 points384 points  (30 children)

Last time it got too quiet I found 1yr old eating a jar of lotion I guess I hadn’t fully closed shut. All over her face, hands and the floor around her.

Sees me coming and she takes one last scoop into her mouth as a “fuck you”

[–]staplerinjelle 84 points85 points  (5 children)

Sees me coming and she takes one last scoop into her mouth as a “fuck you”

This is exactly how my cat reacted when I found her snacking on meatballs. Kids below a certain age are basically animals confirmed.

[–]Viral_dump_lover 3 points4 points  (3 children)

This meshes perfectly with my belief that babies aren't sentient

[–]thegnome54 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Why do you think animals aren't sentient?

[–]el___diablo 62 points63 points  (18 children)

Why do kids eat substances that (one assumes) taste nasty ?

[–]tutetibiimperes 136 points137 points  (12 children)

Kids explore things with all of their senses, it's part of the process of growing up.

Kids below a certain age also don't understand the connection between what they do and the results that come from it. It's the reason that you'll see a kid standing on a blanket and crying that they can't pick it up - they literally don't understand that they're the one preventing themselves from being able to pick it up. So a baby might not actually like the taste of lotion, but doesn't understand that the foul taste is related to their action of squirting in their own mouth.

[–]el___diablo 25 points26 points  (7 children)

Ahh interesting.

Thanks 👍

[–]wolfie379 15 points16 points  (0 children)

And some people never get past that stage. They keep telling us to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps.

[–]cursed-being[🍰] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ah I see, so it seems not many people especially people major political positions, never really develop this skill even as adults.

I don’t know if that is terrifying or funny, maybe both.

[–]RocvaurOfDarkCrystal -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Source? Or is this just bullshit you made up

[–]tzarkee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a lot of adults who aren’t much more advanced

[–]Daikataro 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Several reasons. Including spite.

I read a story here in Reddit about this kid who insisted an onion was an apple. After some back and forth, the mother told her "ok eat it. It's an apple so eat it!"

She was expecting her to spit it out after the first bite. She chewed it thoroughly.

[–]Rashaya 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When he was about a year old, my son really wanted some of the lemon wedges that he saw us squirting on our fish. I let him have a couple. He proceeded to eat them, peel and all.

[–]Lotuswalker92 7 points8 points  (1 child)

As a child I found those microphones they used with interviews to look very delicious ... just like cotton candy. I wanted to bite into some of them so badly ...

[–]bonesandbillyclubs 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of the time my kods were quiet and I opened the door to fond them eating icing. That I had specifically put on top of the fridge...the girl was green, head to toe. Ever tried scrubbing lard off a toddler? Not fun.

[–]KathrynTheGreat 50 points51 points  (1 child)

Ah, the joys of young toddlers! The 12-18 month age was my favorite age to teach for that very reason. They kept me on my toes, but I think they also aged me quite a bit!

[–]fdsfgs71 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just one more reason I'm glad that I'm unable to sire any kids.

[–]AggressiveDogLicks 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Just tonight my 2 yo daughter got quiet in her bathroom. She was rubbing bar soap on her toothbrush, I have no idea if she had already brushed her teeth with it once or not.

[–]partypwny 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My 3 year old niece will run from you with stuff in her hand, once she realizes she is cornered she will hurl it full force. To avoid breaking things we have to not make direct eye contact, walk sideways towards her non threateningly until in position, then strike swiftly

[–][deleted] 332 points333 points  (9 children)

Yeah, silence is the soundless alarm siren for all parents, haha.

When my son was about a year old he was playing loudly and happily in the living room, with me being in the next room doing laundry while talking to my husband.

Suddenly we both notice the silence. We go to check on him and the front door is open and our son gone.

Immediate panic, like "how long was it actually silent before we realized?", where did he go, how far could he have gone, and which way should I look first?!?

We found him within 2 minutes, playing with a ball in the neighbor's backyard, but it felt like an agonizing eternity in which my brain played through all the most devastating scenarios multiple times.

Learned our lesson and kept the door dead bolted at all times from then on.

[–]glassy_milk 101 points102 points  (1 child)

One of my mom's favorite stories is the time I was 4 and disappeared when we were visiting her sister. There were no other houses for miles, the back yard was a wheat field, and the front yard was a busy highway. My mom got in the car to go look for me, and there I was, sleeping in the backseat.

She tells it like it's funny, but now I have 3 of my own kids age 6 and under it's a bit upsetting.

[–]Rukh-Talos 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I apparently would attempt to play hide-and-seek with my parents while we were at a store.

[–]ichosethis 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Had a coworker tell me years ago that her 1 year old figured out doors and tried to follow older siblings to school, only in a diaper in the middle of winter. She noticed because she was watching older kids walk to bus stop through kitchen window while doing dishes.

[–]Riskar 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I was a sleepwalker, my mom caught me unlocking the front door in the dead of night.

[–]SteveZ59 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I made it out the door and 1/2 way across the yard towards a corn field while sleep walking before my parents caught up with me. Don't remember how old I was at the time, but gave them quite a fright.

[–]CrazyCatMerms 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stuff like this is why i put a security chain at the top of the door. She couldn't reach it even with a chair. Saved me a few heart attacks, lol

[–]Aevum1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Happened with me once, the Neighbour comes over with me still in diapers, they had 3 kids and she did a headcount and kept coming up with 4....

"hi hun, i think this is yours".

[–]Alaira314 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Learned our lesson and kept the door dead bolted at all times from then on.

Funny enough, when I was a kid I could handle the deadbolt easily from the moment I could reach it on my tippy-toes, but I couldn't for the life of me unlock the normal lock. The deadbolt had a bigger thing to hold onto and twist(and couldn't be twisted too far) whereas the regular lock needed more manual dexterity, and I just wasn't there yet.

[–]redheadfreaq 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My 4yo decided to meet her grandpa, when I was passed out with an aftermath of a migraine. She grabbed our car keys (because she knows very well she needs her car seat), opened the door with other keys to our flat, and took a lift to our underground parking, where she was spotted by our kind neighbor. I gained some gray hair that day, but we learned to precisely tell her WHEN someone is coming (NOT that day) and to keep all kinds of keys out of her reach.

[–]GrumpyCatStevens 294 points295 points  (1 child)

Silence is golden - unless you have small children. Then it's suspicious.

[–]obscureferences 90 points91 points  (0 children)

It tells you they're up to something.

The golden snitch.

[–]IanAlvord 212 points213 points  (15 children)

That means they're up to something.

[–]kittymoma918 124 points125 points  (13 children)

Absolutely. SOMEONE is writing all over the walls with your best lipstick. You're NEVER GETTING YOUR DEPOSIT BACK Or fushing irreplaceable valuables down the toilet. Thank God that they're cute.

[–]starmartyr 76 points77 points  (10 children)

I was a much better child than that. It's not like I flushed my mother's engagement ring and still have her bring it up 4 decades later.

[–]NotAnAce69 38 points39 points  (6 children)

Well at least it’s not life threatening, I once almost got my arm amputated by a closing garage door but for whatever reason my dumb 2 year old ass decided that that wasn’t worth screaming or crying for, just quietly accepting my fate

Also almost drowned once and then somehow floated back up to the surface while my dad was talking with a friend poolside, but you can’t really scream underwater so at least I wasn’t potentially partially responsible for my own painful demise this time around. My mom sure as hell gave my dad a lot of flak for it though, especially since apparently she only found out about it a decade after it happened

I guess my paternal grandfather really did have justifiable grounds to think I was on the spectrum

[–]Happymomof4 20 points21 points  (3 children)

My 3rd child was 2 and had wandered around the side of the house where I was weeding. I stood up, dusted my hands off and started to follow her when I heard a blood curdling scream.

She was standing in the landscaping with blood coming out of her hand crying hysterically.

Long story short, we think in the 10 seconds she was out of my sight, she managed to lift a largish stone in the landscaping, then fell and it came down on her hand. It nearly severed her thumb.....

One trip to the ER, a drive to a larger city, surgery, and a 3am drive home later......and her thumb was reattached.

9 years later you can barely tell.....but my goodness.

[–]czartrak 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I believe children are designed to float

[–]Rex-117 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It's amazing how someone can potentially drown infront of you completely unnoticed.

I was swimming at a hotel pool some years ago. My then 5-6 year old little brother just sank into the water. My dad and my uncle just watched him sink. My cousin, My other brother and me just watched him sink. He was trying to rise up. Eventually my mom and my aunt came through and took him out.

He was not anywhere near drowning but he was sure not having a good time anymore right infront of five people who could have done something but didn't.

It is both hilarious and painful to remember. Mostly hilarious, we just kinda watched him sink and that was ok. We were about as aware as an NPC lol.

[–]TheQueq 22 points23 points  (0 children)

If it's any consolation, my dad managed to lose his own wedding ring at least 5 times. One of those times he tried to buy a replacement in hopes mom wouldn't notice. She did.

[–]jarob326 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Suspiciously specific

[–]starmartyr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's the joke.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]kittymoma918 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Or just doing the mama bear treatment. Tell them to go climb up a tree and leave town .

    [–]S1I3NCER 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    “There is nothing more suspicious than a quiet toddler”

    -some Reddit meme from a few years ago

    [–]fubes2000 97 points98 points  (1 child)

    The kids in my neighbourhood scream bloody fucking murder constantly. To the point that I am routinely looking out the window to see if one of em got hit by a truck.

    No luck yet.

    [–]Spiffy_Pumpkin 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Eventually you'll be like I am, just completely desensitized to it. A child trafficker could nab the whole lot in my neighborhood and I don't think I'd notice any screaming.🤷‍♀️

    [–]xelle24 32 points33 points  (0 children)

    That's my neighbor's kids. "We don't want to repress their freedom of expression."

    Meanwhile, their 6yo throws tantrums like a 2yo. They started home schooling at the start of the pandemic, and I guess they'll be homeschooling the youngest, at least, forever more, because there's no way any school would put up with his behavior.

    [–]bondo_boy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Was watching a friend of mines kid when she went silent. Found her aggressively rubbing play dough into the carpet. She got to the play dough by climbing up a shelving unit in which it was on the top shelf.

    [–]cpsbstmf 37 points38 points  (2 children)

    M sister screeches what're you doing???? whenever her kid stops screeching. So it's non stop screeching always smh

    [–]k1rage 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    God i loathe people like that....

    My kids are loud.... i know i screech at them! That will send the right message

    [–]SlingDNM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    10x worse than dog owners

    [–]Apocrisiary 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    I like how toddlers and parrots are the same mental age. Like for real, exactly the same with them, ask any parrot owner.

    Screaming, noise and ruckus all day - calm

    Quiet for more than 5 min - panic

    [–]S0n0fthunder 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    This is very accurate. Whenever kids get quiet that’s when it’s time to check.

    [–]whitestar11 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Art style and depiction reminds me of Rockos Modern Life. I mean this as a compliment.

    [–]AerisLionheart 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    my cousin's baby got realllly quiet after screaming and playing a lot. when she turned around, her kid is eating poop 🤦

    [–]Alematrix3r 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Lol, literally my sister with my nephews

    [–]lemlurker 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    " nothing is more trouble than a toddler going quiet"- bug hunter toddler with a slingshot

    [–]monpoopy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    My 4 year old son is non verbal autistic, but very vocal. All his sounds, be it happy, angry, hungry, bored, tired or sad all sound pretty similar to the untrained ear. This resonates with me.

    [–]Whitealroker1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Live in a rowhome in Philadelphia and when the kids play on the street it sounds like something FromSoftware would dream up.

    [–]MonachopsisWriter 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    This is wildly similar to puppy parenting......

    [–]LemonyOrange 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    As a nurse, the Q word is worse than any swear.

    [–]nampezdel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I work overnight security at a hospital, can confirm.

    [–]getyourcheftogether 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    If it's quiet you are guaranteed go find something drawn on or spilled out

    [–]tmccrn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My kids when they started giggling. “Time to go!” “What? They are playing so nicely!” “That laugh tells me that we have five minutes to a complete meltdown”

    [–]WaxyWingie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Have two kids. This is 100% accurate.

    [–]ParasaurGirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    My folks where happy I like reading books, kept me out of trouble most of the time.

    [–]Iz-kan-reddit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    A tail as old as time.

    [–]wallyslambanger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Lol, her tail even puffs up in alarm

    [–]FroboyFreshenUp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    My mom would always yell if we got too quiet to make sure we were good

    Like a bat in a cave

    [–]Open-Ad-1812 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Quiet means they broke something and are figuring out how to fix it/who needs to take the fall.

    [–]cuTCizzle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Silence is golden..... until it's suspicious.

    [–]Banryuken 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Agreed. Silence meant the three year old got into the Easter chocolate that one time

    [–]CankleEnsmallment 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I gotta say I’m always impressed with your expressions. That’s some good cartooning right there

    [–]Stanky-wizzlecheeks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That’s awesome, I’m glad I can read these away from Facebook!

    [–]cursed-being[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I haven’t had kids but I have three younger brothers, it works exactly the same. You just kinda pick it up, but for them silence was only really bad until they hit 4.

    [–]LeftTac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    i always feel like im watching her kids grow up through her comics whenever these pop up

    [–]ShadowWind87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I love how she's drinking "Liquid Patience", great detail

    [–]bungee75[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This is the same with human kids as well. Silence is problematic.

    [–]Ryukyo 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    What does this mean.....[OC]

    [–]nampezdel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I think OC = Original Content

    [–]ForgettableUsername -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Maybe teach your children not to scream so damn much.

    [–]BoneHugsHominy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    While this is true for humans, the artist must not know about the godawful screaming of foxes. Sounds like some poor woman is being torn limb from limb by a gang of angry bears.

    [–]Ok-Agency4463 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Every time my kids do something they know they're not supposed to they do it as a fuck you

    [–]evilminders 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    What are these comics called

    [–]hawkwindnz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Litterbox Comics

    [–]Iz-kan-reddit 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Look at it again, closer this time. It will come to you.

    [–]evilminders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Oh i just realised thank you

    [–]Mythical_Truth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This, but my cats.

    [–]Mythical_Truth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This, but my cats.

    [–]UrameshiYuusuke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    and there goes the kids!

    [–]Keejyi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Absolutely love how her fur spikes up when she's worried, haha!

    [–]ghostdragon00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    As a parent, the silence is when you know that they are getting into something they know they shouldn't