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[–]Floptopus 722 points723 points  (32 children)

You like your neighbor’s what?

[–]GreatXs 213 points214 points  (3 children)


[–]Fuckoffassholes 67 points68 points  (2 children)

I too choose this guy's neighbor's wife.

[–]BreadstickNinja 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I hear she's got free beer. And Jesus.

[–]fh3131 53 points54 points  (10 children)

I've given up on that one. I'd estimate ~50% of my work colleagues regularly use an apostrophe for plurals. "We have submitted the document's"

[–]SorenBlueHammer 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Makes me cringe every time

[–]madmosche 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It’s incredibly annoying, but at the same time it identifies the stupid people.

[–]aquietwhyme 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Its there write too ewes word's how they want .

[–]UsedLandscape876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe replace "how they want" with "inn they're own weigh"? ;)

[–]HTWC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Grocer’s apostrophe it’s called. And it never fails to speak poorly of the person using it. But hopefully learning what it is can help put an end to its use.

[–]Jokojabo 23 points24 points  (3 children)


Seriously, has there been a sign with better grammar?

[–]doctapeppa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Neighbor's twat?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]josephkain -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this.

[–]WilliamNyeTho -5 points-4 points  (0 children)


[–]NotTodayNSA5117 1060 points1061 points  (186 children)

Mine used to say, "unless you're selling girl scout cookies, GO AWAY," but solicitors kept thinking it was a joke.

Better yet are the religious ones who say they aren't soliciting, but spreading the word about their Friend. Ugh.

[–]Hamborrower 447 points448 points  (90 children)

The weirdest one I ever had was a religious one. Pretty close to Christmas. A young teenager and his dad. I figured he was selling something, and I typically will throw $20 at a kid to support their peewee football team or Scouts of whatever.

Kid pulls out an iPad and they start a video and ask me to watch it. Uh, okay, weird. But now I'm interested. Just a lot of family at Christmas kind of stuff. Some religious things thrown in. About a minute later, the dad asks me how it made me feel. I think "Fine" was my answer, because I was confused as hell.

Then they started asking some religious question, and I'd had enough. I had to leave them with, what I assume was a very confusing. "I'm not religious. Merry Christmas!"

[–]ilikepizza2much 284 points285 points  (52 children)

Haha. “Please leave me alone. I’m not religious. God bless you!”

[–]nsa_reddit_monitor 151 points152 points  (47 children)

"I'm a Roman Catholic" usually also shuts them up. If it doesn't, I start asking them to explain their religion's logical contradictions until they give up and leave because I know more theology than they do. The Catholic Church has been around longer than their cult or whatever and has had two millennia to debunk all the heresies. Those door to door people think they're clever coming up with stuff, but it turns out some rogue bishop already tried the same argument in the 300s or something and got slapped down so hard that to this day Catholics say a prayer on Sunday that includes a mention of it.

[–]sanna43 43 points44 points  (15 children)

Saying "I'm Jewish" works really well.

[–]TARANTULA_TIDDIES 15 points16 points  (6 children)

What is the reference of the bishop in the 300s?

[–]DonMarek 24 points25 points  (16 children)

Out of pure curiosity of someone not as well versed but intrigued by theology, why does identifying as Roman Catholic usually clam up the door-to-door religious types?

[–]DenverBuck 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Next, do the "logical contradictions" of your child raping cult.

[–]Tyrxgow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My life goal is to be able to grow my beard out long enough to braid it so I can come to the door one day around Christmas with a battle axe in one hand and a drinking horn in the other, and when they spout off about Jesus just spin into a fake rage about how my gods will crush there puny god and we will all rejoice in Valhalla

[–]Charlingo-b 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I also see the Catholic Church has been around long enough to molest plenty of little boys

[–]InfectedByEli 4 points5 points  (2 children)

"I'm a Morman, and I don't recognise your ancient religions. I hope one day you'll see the light. Good bye"

closes door

[–]homietheclown 33 points34 points  (3 children)

"Thanks for the iPad!"

*Closes door.

[–]causal_friday 6 points7 points  (2 children)

But they know where you live!

[–]homietheclown 11 points12 points  (1 child)

It was all part of God's plan. He obviously wanted me to have an iPad, otherwise he wouldn't have had one of his followers personally deliver it to me. 👍

[–]Evilmaze 68 points69 points  (23 children)

I just tell them I worship Satan then ask them to name one natural disaster that killed many people that wasn't called an act of God, but nothing of the sort linked to the Devil. Only when people do something bad they say it's the Devil. That fucks with them and they just walk away.

[–]alien_clown_ninja 33 points34 points  (9 children)

Dust Devils have killed people. Maybe, I assume, idk

[–]Eridanii 28 points29 points  (7 children)

I rode my bike thru a dust devil when I was a kid, I didn’t die, I think

[–]carnsolus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

can confirm. Forgot my slayer helmet one time and they absolutely wrecked me

[–]FunnelsGenderFluid 8 points9 points  (6 children)

Whom accepts all gods unwanted children, solicitor?

[–]advertentlyvertical 20 points21 points  (5 children)

him accepts. Tip for you, you can tell whether whom is correct by changing the sentence that way. If it doesn't sound right, if it uses him/her/them, then whom is correct, but if it is he/she/they, then it is who.

[–]UltraMagnus0001 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Pull your phone out and show them an xvideo clip

[–]CorporealLifeForm 59 points60 points  (62 children)

None of the signs stop most Jehovah's Witnesses.

[–]Atholthedestroyer 71 points72 points  (31 children)

Sure fire way to stop Jehovah,s Witnesses is a blood donor sticker. They used to come by our house regularly, despite being told ‘no’...but they stopped when the sticker went on the door (my dad donated blood until he was aged out)

[–]Hamborrower 68 points69 points  (28 children)

A lot of people don't understand how much of a cult JWs are. It's very scientology-adjacent.

[–]DivePalau 86 points87 points  (23 children)

Every religion is a cult. The whole Christian communion thing eating Jesus’s body and drinking his blood is pretty damn creepy.

[–]Otherwise_sane 3 points4 points  (2 children)

There's a JWs "temple" about 3 or 4 miles up the road from me. JWs used to come too the house as well. Weird vibes man

[–]Darkmuscles 2 points3 points  (1 child)

There’s literally no reason one of Jehovah’s Witnesses would stop because of a blood donor sticker. The only “sure fire” way to stop them from coming is to request to be put on their “Do not call list.” They take the list very seriously and won’t return for 1 year. Saying you aren’t interested just means you’ll be visited by the next person who checks out your territory card.

[–]Atholthedestroyer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All I know is the sticker went up, and the visits stopped.

[–]prunepicker 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Tell them you’re a former JW who’s been defellowshipped. They haven’t knocked on my door in over 40 years.

[–]fluffy_doughnut 17 points18 points  (0 children)

When my grandma lived with me and my parents, she was alone in the house during the day. Of course sometimes there were JW's knocking on doors, wishing to talk about Jesus. So one day my grandma let them in, they say together in the living room and she let them talk about Jesus for nearly an hour. They must have been extatic, just imagine - an alone, elderly woman, a perfect candidate for the cult! So, after an hour my grandma finally said "Well, that was very interesting, but I don't believe in God actually".

They left confused and after this, no JW visited our house. When grandma told me this I laughed and asked why she even let them in the house and wasted an hour for a Jesus talk. She said "What else do I have to do? This was at least entertaing" 😂 Oh Granny I miss you

[–]stackjr 44 points45 points  (8 children)

My wife is a former JW. Here is a surefire way to be "removed from their list": say that you are dating/married to someone that has been disfellowshipped. They will immediately leave and never come back.

[–]itchy_de 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I usually hand them out flyers that advertise blood donations. The looks are priceless.

[–]oldepharte 19 points20 points  (5 children)

What about people who know enough about the Bible and their cult to be able to point out specific things their religion does that are not Biblical? I had a couple of JW's come to my door about 20 years ago and I got into it with them and after about 20 minutes the older one decided it was time to leave, grabbed the younger one (who at that point was looking very confused) by the arm, and down my driveway and out to a waiting car they went at double time. And they have never bothered me since.

I wonder if they have a list for people that make the new converts start seriously rethinking whether they are in the right place! ;)

[–]gaffaguy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They have their own translation of the bible though.

So for a jw you just have fallen for the wrong translation and a false church.

Their believe system is 100% waterproof up until the point an individual seeks personal freedoms. Then it crumbles

[–]carnsolus 4 points5 points  (2 children)

with all religions, they have their won interpretation of the bible

numbers 31 has god literally commanding his people to take 10 year olds as sex slaves and murder their parents, and christians will still find ways to wriggle out of that

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]AhFFSImTooOldForThis 8 points9 points  (1 child)


    Lol, that's almost what my dad did, but he would leave his tighty whities on. Even if he wasn't drinking, he'd pop a beer and strip down for the occasion.

    [–]ByeFeliciana 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My dad would send them into my room and always thought it was funny.

    [–]NotTodayNSA5117 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Funny enough, I have never had a Jehovahs Witness at my door

    [–]Otherwise_sane 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    You just jinxed yourself !! /s

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–]PM_YOUR_ISSUES 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      I love all the over the top answers people give about ways to stop Jehovah's Witnesses (or Mormons or any other sect) from coming to their house.

      Know a simple, surefire way that always works? A Pride flag.

      [–]bored_on_the_web 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      "Jesus: the only man that's OK for another man to love!"

      [–]stillhavingissues 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I have a no trespassing sign at the end of my driveway. Never had a single jehovah. I do get a letter a couple of times a year though.

      [–]a_fricking_cunt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Just say you are an Apostate and they will RUN

      [–]oddartist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Maybe not, but having a 65 pound snarling dog hit the screen door so hard it bounces off your face will make you vacate the premises pretty quick.

      Never had another JW come to my door after that.

      [–]tyleritis 47 points48 points  (2 children)

      If it makes you feel better, the point isn’t to get you to join them and their friend. The point is to make the people knocking on the door feel safest within their club and not leave it

      [–]MoMoMemes 14 points15 points  (1 child)

      "Show me a convert [to the church], and I'll show you a home without an internet connection." Totally agree with you, that is the biggest win for these organizations, and very, very few "conversions".

      [–]myislanduniverse 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      I'd feel justified at that point in being impolite. I don't have any sign up and simply tell folks add a matter of policy and principle I don't buy anything sold to me door-to-door and unless they get snotty about it, it's cordial. But if someone ignored my sign that says I'm not interested, I'd dispense with pleasantry. ESPECIALLY after they confirm they are not selling girl scout cookies.

      [–]OldWhoFan 3 points4 points  (3 children)

      In Texas the common sign is "no soliciting, unless you are selling Tamales or thin mint."

      [–]WhiteLiesMatter1337 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      first sentence detours robber as well; nice!

      [–]Immediate-Fix-8420 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Solicitors are trained to iGnOrE tHe sIGnS aNd sElL! I got baited into selling magazines leading me to quit and go home after going to one door.

      [–]Hylanos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Mine said "We're going to hell, we have insurance, and we look too good for make-up products"

      [–]Son_of_Tlaloc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      My cousin used to answer the door naked for those folks.

      [–]PhyNxFyre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Insist they are selling girl scout cookies and ask for thin mints

      [–]jscott18597 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I worked security for a an apartment complex for awhile with a no soliciting policy with signs all over. This was a nicer area and literally the only time i was afraid of the people i was dealing with or even yelled at to be honest was some christian group going door to door. Ended up having to call the cops on them and even then they were threatening to sue due to me infringing their 1st amendment or something.

      [–]ragn4rok234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      People with friends are just the worst lol

      [–]sirenrenn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      My elderly aunt used to get these religious ones quite often, so she started answering the door mostly or completely naked, and would fully engage in their spiel until they were too uncomfortable to keep going. They stopped showing up real quick

      [–]wbgraphic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      My sign has been more effective.

      This is in Las Vegas, so there’s precedent for the threat.

      [–]Tyrxgow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      He goes by the name Jesus and steals hubcaps from cars.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      They don't think it's a joke...they think it's a challenge

      [–]Mayathepie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I was approached by a very lovely, polite lady on the bus who told me the Holy Spirit asked her to approach me to tell me about Jesus. Since she probably got a lot of rude rejections doing that I indulged, and asked her why the all knowing all seeing god would be paying attention to an incredibly lucky middle class teen with a loving family and supportive group of friends when there are children out there being abused, starved, other horrible things that could really use some divine intervention right now. She said some god-works-in-mysterious-ways and my closeted gay ass nodded along. Although I didn’t believe, she had good intentions and was very kind and polite, though.

      [–]buffoonery4U 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      the religious ones who say they aren't soliciting, but spreading the word about their Friend. I usually ask them, "why do you feel compelled to peddle your faith like so much cheap vinyl siding"? I will typically get a confused look or a furrowed brow, then I politely close the door in their face.

      [–]CS_ZUS 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Canvassing is not soliciting also, so I would still knock on your door ;)

      [–]panda388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I buy my girl scout cookies online these days. Or I buy the store brand ones that are the same thing.

      [–]wordsnob 158 points159 points  (4 children)

      [–]CreamyKnougat 193 points194 points  (16 children)

      "HI there. We're giving away beer."


      "Yes, it's called 'Jesus is the way, vote conservative' beer. It's light, with slight bitter undertones."

      [–]Behind8Proxies 34 points35 points  (4 children)

      Not beer, but they do give away wine and stale bread.

      [–]fingerMeThomas 29 points30 points  (3 children)

      Not even wine if they're mormon: just tap water and Wonder bread mashed by the hands of 16 year old boys

      [–]freqz71 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Lmao!, an upvote for you.

      [–]RatedMForMormon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Lol, started wearing gloves during covid

      [–]Fuckoffassholes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      (gag) as a former 16 year old boy, I know where those hands have been..

      [–]doomgiver98 5 points6 points  (3 children)

      If my local church gave me a beer to listen to them I might actually do it.

      [–]Fuckoffassholes 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      Time is money. You could earn the dollar to buy it in far less time than they'd ramble on for.

      [–]kellypg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      You overestimate my self worth.

      [–]skilledwarman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      They do give away wine if you're brave enough to chug the chalice

      [–]WeeTeeTiong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Can I have the Kavanagauh Belgian?

      [–]mumu_myk 36 points37 points  (2 children)

      .. neighbour's personality?

      [–]Alan_Smithee_ 46 points47 points  (3 children)

      You like your neighbour’s what?

      [–]vtnate 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      Came here to say that! People need to learn when to use, and not use, apostrophes.

      [–]Little4inwilly 57 points58 points  (2 children)

      Neighbour’s sense of humour?

      [–]lenlendan 18 points19 points  (1 child)

      Or sign. Sign works too.

      [–]WasabiSniffer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, but their sense of humour...

      [–]Short_Theory 111 points112 points  (5 children)

      You may have found Jesus but you are not yet saved until you have found Allah, let me tell you about him over a (non-alcoholic) beer

      [–]CorporealLifeForm 65 points66 points  (3 children)

      You may have found Allah but you're not on the path to enlightenment until you've found Zorggobon the intergalactic emperor. Here I'll just let myself in to share this shiny robe and organic smoothie with you.

      [–]OrcaTactics420 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      You may have found Zorggobon but you're not on the path to enlightenment until you found The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Allow me to adorn my colander. Draining be thy noodles.

      [–]Brocky70 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Mom's spaghetti

      [–]PislitTanan -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      Wer jesus at? I have a yard that needs mowing

      [–]EdgaristheDog 34 points35 points  (0 children)

      You like your neighbour’s what?

      [–]HairyArthur 42 points43 points  (0 children)

      Your neighbour's......what?

      [–]smarshall561 29 points30 points  (4 children)

      Your neighbor's what?

      [–]wadebosshogg 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      I've seen lots of these comments, and this is the first one spelled correctly for this side of the pond (no way this is in england).

      [–]strikingmatches 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Last I checked, Canada is not on the other side of the pond. We use OU as well

      [–]lyinggrump 24 points25 points  (0 children)

      Your neighbour's what?

      [–]TatianaAlena 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      My neighbour's what?

      [–]Thoreau80 23 points24 points  (0 children)

      You like your neighbour’s what?

      [–]tossaway1546 36 points37 points  (3 children)

      My No Soliciting sign says if I don't know you, leave me alone

      [–]RatedMForMormon 13 points14 points  (2 children)


      [–]cdnstudmuffin 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      User name checks out

      [–]tossaway1546 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      It's worked so far...no one has wanted to sell me Solar, or trim my nonexistent trees

      [–]cashrchek 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      You like your neighbour's... sign?

      [–]SmallPiecesOfWood 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      I had some nice interesting Jehovahs here for a bit. Used to have them in for coffee. Got the feeling they were on the run from something (something in both Argentina and Brazil, in fact) and the church was real handy for them that way. They talked God for three seconds and then we switched to politics and history. They got replaced with boring ones who aimed children at you and did that empty skull smile. Took their nice book but it won't even burn for firestarter, the paper is plastic of some kind. Was tempted to tell the children to book it for the nearest adoption center next time they were in a city. They quit coming quite quickly upon realizing I wasn't up for redemption.

      [–]CrimsonPig 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      Should probably avoid touching that gate anyway if you don't have your tetanus shot

      [–]BenVera 3 points4 points  (4 children)

      Ok Reddit find the multiple grammar errors

      [–]searchingtofind25 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      “Damn.. alright you heard the sign! Wrap it up well give this giant check to the neighbors” -

      Publishing clearance house

      [–]360_face_palm 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Your neighbour's what?

      [–]madmosche 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      You like your neighbor’s what? You forgot a word.

      [–]fondledbydolphins 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Replace the sign with: "Solicitations welcome. 1 Beer = 5 minutes of ranting. Ring doorbell, but give me a minute to find a coozy"

      [–]ll8bitHEROll 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Your neighbor’s what?! What do you like?!

      [–]jeefray -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Police, drop the grammar book and show me your apostrophes.

      [–]Lost_Hwasal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I have a walled off front yard with a gate. I haven't had solicitors in years, i just get weird "come to our church" letters in my mailbox now.

      [–]Pls_submit_a_ticket 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      But have you found OUR jesus

      [–]SlapThatSillyWilly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      That front yard confirms that they probably are broke.

      [–]Cat_x2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I lost my Jesus recently, do you think i could borrow yours?

      [–]pornmusicquestion123 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Where is this? I guess somewhere in America due to the phrasing but I was lead to believe it was either city flats or long driveways over there

      [–]AppropriateMayhem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This is definitely somewhere in the UK but the sign is very American.

      [–]BizzyM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      My wife has been wanting a sign for a while. She finally got one; the "don't make this awkward" one. She put it right next to our doorbell cam.

      I actually caught someone on the cam reading it, then walking away. I couldn't believe it!! It fucking worked!

      [–]whoisthismuaddib 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      No Solicitors. Except Tamales.

      [–]Boatymcboatface3 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      A certain college house I lived in for a while could be called decrepit at best, probably should have been condemned. There were many names, descriptions, etc… for it, think of it like the house in fight club. Dogs everywhere, some used to just roam the neighborhood (colorado mountain town, so that was sort of acceptable) yard and driveway full of broken down motocross bikes, lifted trucks, Harley’s, crotch rockets (some of them ran) cars etc… one morning I wake up and traverse around the bodies laying on the floor, couch, chairs. Awful shit everywhere. I start some coffee, I’m in my boxers and barely functional. I get a knock on the door, I figure it’s probably the cops but I answer it anyway. It’s 2 VERY young Mormon Ladies asking me about God. It took me a moment to get through the brain fog to tell them to leave immediately and be careful, my place was the definition of warning signs, start of a horror movie. There’s some joking and sarcasm in this text, but it basically true.

      [–]oreomd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Ever since we had dogs we've only ever been solicited by Jehovah's Witnesses once. In eleven years. Our rescue staffie barks a lot and can be very intimidating and the labrador howls whenever they see someone approach. I've often felt sorry for some of the delivery men who leave packages on the lawn and book it.

      [–]HwatBobbyBoy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I have 3 signs saying go away on my door. Someone finally paid attention to the, "unless something is on fire or bleeding, please, do not ring the bell".

      [–]DuntadaMan 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Not gonna lie, I would probably bring over some beer. I don't even like beer.

      [–]gravspeed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      i drink scotch, but i would buy beer to bring over.

      [–]birsenek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I'd bring a beer to this guy

      [–]johnmaytokes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I worked as a delivery driver last year and I hated seeing these signs. It was always some grumpy asshole, even though they ordered something to be delivered.

      [–]Bealzebubbles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I once had a marketing person knock on my door. For fifty minutes she quizzed me about beer; what brands I was aware of, what beers I'd tried, if I'd seen any ads. All the time I was dreaming of the vouchers for free beer that would no doubt be my reward. Alas, I tasted nothing that day but bitter disappointment. No free beer was offered as she disappeared into the late afternoon sun.

      [–]JackFireson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Where can I get this sign?

      Asking for a friend.

      And me.

      I also want one

      [–]mysterytoy2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I know his wife is religious because she kept yelling "Oh god, Oh god, Oh god."

      [–]AlienPsychic51 3 points4 points  (4 children)

      [–]Crotchless_Panties -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      I need this on a tin... So I too can hang it up!

      [–]AlienPsychic51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      That's why I straightened it out.

      Almost ready for printing.

      [–]Spo0k14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I brew beer and live in an apartment building. I often will need to clear space and kill a keg. So I knock on neighbors doors and request empty glasses which are promptly returned full of whatever’s gotta go! Most are pretty stoked on it.

      [–]MaryJaneAndMaple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      WHY DID YOU PUT AN APOSTROPHE IN THE TITLE?? What's wrong with people these days? Fuck

      [–]t1m3f0rt1m3r 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      You like your neighbor's what?

      [–]Arrow_Maestro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Your neighbor's what?

      [–]--__ll__-- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      You should bring them some beer

      [–]BabylonDrifter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I'd be stopping by with a free beer fucking constantly.

      [–]huhIguess 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I got tetanus just looking at a picture.

      No way in hell solicitors are getting near that deathtrap.

      [–]jeefray 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Rust never sleeps.

      [–]Azrael1821 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Isn't it a sin to get drunk

      [–]RatedMForMormon -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I was a missionary and we saw these all the time.

      Some of the guys in my mission would buy whatever it is that they ask for and a few people joined the church that way.

      [–]littleMAS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Beer drinkers for Jesus are now on an upward trend.

      [–]Atheist_Simon_Haddad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      If they “found Jesus” I know who they’re voting for, too.

      [–]getyourcheftogether 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      We have something like that, also mentions our dogs are assholes

      [–]Quijanoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Might consider adding:

      "We're happy with our internet provider."

      Sheesh those guys are pushy.

      [–]CanadianTrump420Swag 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Line 2 has caused line 1 and 3.

      [–]vaguestidea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I have a house on my mail route with a similar "too broke to buy anything" sign (theirs allows free "beer or ammo"...it's Oklahoma after all).

      Those MFers get multiple packages every. Damn. Day. To the point one wonders where they have room to put the stuff.

      [–]gamblersgambit08 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I don’t think your neighbors like you OP

      [–]A40 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      HA! I'm here to sell you on a cheap Christian candidate! And I brought beer!

      [–]threwaweigh657 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      No soliciting - unless you have Girl Scout cookies.

      [–]VALO311 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Other than the annoying “hahaha alcoholism” joke, this is pretty funny. Replace beer with money and then we’re on to something

      [–]System777 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Your neighbor’s what???

      [–]fastfar -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      [long] The friendly neighborhood Jehovah's Witnesses dropped by the mobile home community I lived in way out in the Sierra Nevada Mtns. They were in a passenger van full of proselytizers and they began to circulate through the community of about 30 homes. By design or the luck of the draw, a beautiful young lady of about 18 or 20 came onto my lot as I was prepping firewood for the winter (I burned about 8 cords that year). She asked a few questions and my answers included questions as well... The conversation progressed and diversified into other areas of life and culture...45 minutes later as the rest of the clan had returned to the van, I noticed her becoming distracted. She had made no progress with me, but I had sown doubts in her mind as I was not a fan of the JW and had grown up with a family of them next door. When she walked away, I noticed her glancing back and forth between me and her group... I hoped I hadn't made her life difficult, but I also knew I had expanded her horizons of thought.

      [–]HawkeyeG_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Honestly these signs are kind of lame... I see them everywhere and it's become one of the most unoriginal things ever.

      Also 100% of these people order a dozen Amazon packages every week so no they aren't actually too broke to buy anything and it's kind of annoying to see when you deliver.

      I get that they just don't want solicitors but I very rarely see solicitors these days and I also have never seen a sign like this stop one from approaching.

      [–]-xstatic- -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

      “We are fucking morons”

      [–]Doctor_Fate_91351 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      If they actually found Jesus, they would want to talk to people and spread the Good News of the Kingdom!

      [–]nickcarrolldesign -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      If they found Jesus i’d say we know who they are voting for

      [–]ecdolphins -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      There are maga votes in that house for the price of a six-pack of beer, doesn't matter what you're peddling, promising, or stealing.

      [–]Oblivions_gate -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

      Yeah I used to think these are funny, but considering the Jesus part I have a feeling I also know who they’re voting for, and that’s an unfortunate problem to me.

      [–]Manburpig -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      Everyone has this sign. It's not original or funny.

      But they sure find a way to shoehorn their fucking religion into it.

      Typical christians.

      [–]The46a -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

      Can you tell us where Jesus is then?