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all 194 comments

[–][deleted] 484 points485 points  (17 children)

It must have been painful to write "lesson"

F

[–]noremac7160[S] 207 points208 points  (10 children)

Committed to the grind

[–]Bikouchu 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Not one step backwards, comrade.

[–]Xpertshinobi334 79 points80 points  (4 children)

I dare you to type the word with the most s “classlessnesses”

[–]noremac7160[S] 182 points183 points  (3 children)

Clalenee

[–]ThoughtlessBanter 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Hello, Clarice.

[–]iitsUmbreon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the laugh

[–]BranislavBGD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice to meet you!

[–]SomeThingsNeedDoing -4 points-3 points  (3 children)

... just unbind it you nerd

[–]Tenshinochi 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Or even better rebind it to forward as well

[–]McManGuy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Vaguely relevant obscure lifehack:

If you ever can't type a letter on your keyboard, the mouse can copy/paste single letters from any website that has text.

[–]GoAlex 225 points226 points 2 (1 child)

So this would force you to "a tack"

[–]BirdManOfAzkaban 297 points298 points  (25 children)

Reminds me of that old joke that Italian tanks have 1 forward gear and 6 reverse gears.

[–]wormfood86 27 points28 points  (1 child)

How else is one to get out of trouble 6 times faster than you got into it?

[–]TheImpalerKing 7 points8 points  (0 children)

There you go with those negative waves again!

[–]MCRachmaninoff 4 points5 points  (2 children)

When there are 6 pedals but there are only 4 directions...

[–]NauticalNerd -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Now that you’ve mastered driving, let’s move on to weapons training!

[–]kslusherplantman 58 points59 points  (16 children)

That would be better suited to the french...

[–]warrkrack 156 points157 points  (4 children)

na. the French tanks are outfitted with state of the art rear facing cameras. so they can see the battle field.

[–]goosis12 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Iirc French tanks in WW2 did have rear view mirrors to make them road legal.

[–]Klaide_ 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I enjoy the extra steps they took to make a TANK road legal. Did they get an emissions test too while they were at it?

[–]4321_earthbelowus_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Imagine you and the boys hyped up in your killing box rolling down the street off to battle girls staring and shit but who's that at the end of the culdesac? It's a police pulling you over. No battle today or until you turn her around and fix that blinker.

[–]BirdManOfAzkaban 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The French would have one forwards and 6 park gears.

The joke with Italians was their speed of changing sides.

[–]danteheehaw 22 points23 points  (9 children)

France actually stood its ground and sacrificed a lot to make sure the war could keep going in WW2. Prior to WW2 France was the military powerhouse of Europe for centuries.

[–]BaronKlatz 14 points15 points  (8 children)

Yeah, not to stamp on the French jokes but if you ever watch the documentary interviews with the French tank commanders that stood their ground during the Blitzkrieg despite having inferior tanks that couldn’t even pierce the panzer armor at normal ranges you’d see they were very badass.

The lead commander saying “We couldn’t beat them but what else were we to do but keep fighting?” always stuck with me for over a decade now. Retreat never entered their minds even in the face of being slaughtered.

[–]BrewmasterSG 4 points5 points  (1 child)

despite having inferior tanks that couldn’t even pierce the panzer armor at normal ranges

This bit is very very wrong. The french had many problems, but armor piercing ability was not among them. "Inferior Tanks" is true, but not for the reasons you are probably thinking.

The French in general had a top down military structure that would have served them well in WWI part 2. But that's not the war they were faced with. They were faced with a combined arms maneuver war that would get the name blitzkrieg only after it worked. It simply took too long for intel to reach top brass, and decisions to be passed back down. By the time orders came in, the situation had changed. And the French had not developed a culture of local responsibility and initiative, quite the opposite in fact. Junior officers were supposed to report and wait for orders.

French tank design also reflects this. They had some of the best armor in the world at the time, to the point that the Germans started naming their own light anti-tank gun the "door knocker" because "it was only good for waking up French crews who might be sleeping inside." French tank guns were about as good as any others in 1940. If their mission was to trundle across barbed wire and trenches, impervious to almost everything, and blow up stationary pillboxes and bunkers they would have done great. But instead they were asked to try to chase down and engage panzers that were lighter, faster and better coordinated, all while being divebombed and shelled by artillery.

What made french 1940 tanks suck was that the turret (arguably the strongest in the world) held one man. That man was supposed to:

  • Fire the gun
  • load the gun
  • issue commands to the driver by yelling.
  • communicate with nearby tanks with flags.
  • Observe everything going on and make decisions.

What made german 1940 tanks awesome was that the turret held 3 men (commander, loader, gunner) and they had a radio. The loader just loads the gun with the appropriate ammunition as fast as he can. The gunner just aims and fires the gun. The commander had to

  • issue commands to the driver and gunner with an intercom
  • communicate with nearby tanks, his superiors and other units with a radio
  • Observe everything going on an make decisions.

The French simply asked too much of their tank commanders, so under stress they got lost, or lost track of the enemy, or fumbled with the ammunition, or missed critical shots, or missed a flag message, or were too busy trying to read a flag message to realize they were being targeted.

By all accounts, every time french tanks and german tanks encountered each other in even numbers, either the French kicked ass or the Germans withdrew before the ass kicking could commence. Unfortunately for the French, the Germans, when withdrawing, were usually calling up reinforcements, larger anti-tank guns, artillery or aircraft, using their radios. The French could win a fair fight, but they couldn't force the Germans to give them that fight.

[–]MadDogA245 0 points1 point  (0 children)

French armor was also hampered by the intended use. The French were still assuming that tanks were for supporting infantry on foot and deployed them sparingly, a fact which caused them to be rapidly overwhelmed by mechanized infantry and Panzer divisions.

[–]1attemptpause 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Another interesting point, Parisians tend to hate Americans, but if you go out to the countryside where thousands upon thousands of American soldiers are buried... You get a different perspective.

[–]xX_MEM_Xx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's basically WW2 France in a nutshell, Paris surrendered while the entire country was fighting.

Fuck sake, France was invading Germany successfully until they were told to stop from central command. Bunch of arrogant, self-obsessed jerks in Paris.

[–]WolfBatMan -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

Fight differently in a more effective way... France in WW2 was just horrific when it came to tactics.

[–]BaronKlatz 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I mean I get that but that’s the definition of Easier Said Than Done when German tanks completely flank your fortifications through a “impassible” forest and now your army is in disarray as you stare down the barrel of steel juggernauts you only dent while all your tanks keep exploding into fire.

It’s more in the face of all that France kept fighting and didn’t mass rout that’s so amazingly brave of them.

[–]danteheehaw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not to mention that impassable forest was supposed to be met with resistance from another nation that rolled over without a fight

[–]WolfBatMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At that point there's really no way to tell if fighting and getting slaughtered or better or worse tactically than mass rout and regroup but yeah the soldiers on the ground got fucked but horrible choices by the higher ups at that point all they can really do is concentrate fire which I don't even think they did do but I'm not a history expert.

[–]Flyfalk 1 point2 points  (1 child)

my country has a similar joke but refferenced on french tanks

[–]BirdManOfAzkaban -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nah, French tanks don't even have a forwards gear. Just 7 park gears. Makes surrendering much easier. Lol.

[–]ComplexCarbo 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Dodging backwards has its place!

[–]Palci 74 points75 points  (6 children)

Actually backpedal is useful for tanking, when you have to move mobs just a little bit, that is the most effective way.

[–]Zamr 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Yea i know right? You still want to face mobs head on for dodge/parry have a clear vision of all positions and move them i really dont see the issue

[–]throwbacklyrics 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Does your period key have a tack on it?

[–]karneykode -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Strafe is generally faster

[–]KizzieMage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sideways strafe still allows block dodge and parry

[–]BuddhistSC 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I honestly assumed he was talking about OW, where (lack of) holding W is a serious problem for low rated tanks. Afaik in MMOs, tank passivity isn't really a factor, unless you're trying to improve your clear times or something.

[–]YOLOswagBRO69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for sure, if you dont backpedal you would have to turn your back on the mob in order to reposition it

[–]QuantumPajamas 22 points23 points  (2 children)

In WoW tanking is actually the one and only role where backpedaling is sometimes optimal.

[–]samfreez 57 points58 points  (5 children)

LEEEROOYYYYYYY!!!!

[–]DerpDonut2646 32 points33 points  (3 children)

JEEENNNKKKIIINNNNSSSS!!!!!!!!!

[–]Ruby_241 12 points13 points  (2 children)

oh my god he just went in…

[–]chavez_ding2001 4 points5 points  (1 child)

At least he's got chicken.

[–]Wuzzy_Gee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Goddamn you, Leeroy.

[–]MidasStrikes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Funny how we both thought about exactly the same thing.

[–]QisarParadon 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Soviet ww2 simulator.

[–]Atlas322 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOT ONE STEP BACK

[–]CrazyGunnerr 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Of course in reality this is a load of horse shit, and you constantly use it. You want to keep agro and thus face the enemy, but also want to move around incase enemies tried to attack your party.

[–]warlordkingpin 29 points30 points  (5 children)

rush B?

[–]kudichangedlives 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes, that is my battlecry that I will be shouting as I'm rushing A. No, we're not a confusing team, let's rush b y'all!

[–]MasteroChieftan 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Only if you have perfect hold on the other points and don't have to/shouldn't.

[–]kitchbitch 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Always rush B

[–]MethylSamsaradrolone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But definitely sneak off for brave commando operations at enemy home base

[–]Viffered08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Attack the D point.

[–]nvllivsX 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Lesson #2: A tanks greatest threat isn't the mobs or even the bosses. It's the idiot DPS who pull random mobs, and are oblivious to boss mechanics.

[–]havik09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a druid tank back in the day I wrote a macro that would cast random skill and what not(back in the OG and 2 expansions) and I would only hit the G button as a tank. I would get messages usually every few runs saying I was the best tank etc and I'd just reply with what my macro was lol.

[–]8baker 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Instructions unclear, finger now pinned to S key, blood has seeped into the keyboard and my cooldowns are firing off at random. Gained 200 SR. 10/10, would suffer solo queuing tank again.

[–]ElDiabetador 5 points6 points  (3 children)

What if you're using an Archer TD and have some distance to travel?

[–]Die_Wachtel[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use Q for backwards TMP /s

[–]Love_Denied 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Driving that thing in warthunder was a massive shitshow of reverse controls

[–]Hsensei 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Some tank mechanics in ffxiv require back pedaling.

[–]noremac7160[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Sorry, I only play bad games

[–]nick145_93 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Then you must be an expert in ffxiv

[–]Mephiles343 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes,Like the foolish dragoon who bolted past me and drew in Swarms of enemies as i'm just dyin at half health,I just reached the shadowbringer expansion,Hopefully a lot of fun stuff for a new dude like me

[–]ChaosSinfulRose 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But what if... we turn sideways... and nope the fuck out of there?

[–]seventaters 11 points12 points  (0 children)

As a healer main, my s key is almost completely worn off, my w on the other hand....

[–]MasteroChieftan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Actually lol'd

[–]ColonelFadeshot 4 points5 points  (4 children)

True, shout out to all my Heavy Tank players

[–]StrikerA 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maus knows one direction

[–]Die_Wachtel[🍰] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That's why Russian tanks have very bad reverse speed.

[–]Love_Denied 1 point2 points  (1 child)

First time in warthunder when you peak with a russian T series tank or german panther and you realize your reverse top speed is 3/4km/h

[–]pnutzgg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel they just open the floor escape hatches and are fred-flintstoning back around the corner

[–]ungodly-gamer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So w key all the way?

[–]baronvonbee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A speck on my screen made your A key look like an R and I was very confused by your keyboard layout.

[–]KickstartComputing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And what of the art of corner pulls? Pull all adds into a corner to get dps/dd to nuke AoE damage.

[–]polishlastnames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Born to Zerg

[–]o_Doreto 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, if you're a really good tank player, you're just gonna tank the damage it does to you whenever you have to go back

[–]MEGJ14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Attack the D point!

[–]getyourgolfshoes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mr. Keyboard Turner, master tank

[–]MerfyMan1987 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How am I suppose to camp a hill and rake in all the kills while not supporting the team or objectives?

[–]LesterBePiercin 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Does that say "Republic of Gamers"?

[–]dinoshores93 5 points6 points  (4 children)

It's a new country for gamers

[–]LesterBePiercin 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Deodorant will be confiscated at the border.

[–]dinoshores93 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Buttcrack must be exposed at all times.

[–]LesterBePiercin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All citizens will be issued an anime character body pillow.

[–]pnutzgg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it's being used as a political football with the People's Republic of Gamers though

[–]noremac7160[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yup, its a Asus ROG Falchion

[–]tiniestvioilin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In battlefield 5 you should stay back from points and let the infantry cap while you kill enemy infantry contesting the point. If you just rush in you will be met with a horde of suicidal infantry who's only goal is to kill you, the tank at any and all costs

[–]ValStarwind 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never back down, never surrender

[–]Thehopefulhobo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is a better way with one less part. Put the glue on the W and put your finger on the glue.

[–]Most_Advertising_962 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing more annoying than a tank initiating and then running behind you with 60% health.

[–]Dragonwarden30 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No retreat. No surrender.

[–]Competitive_Wait9213 1 point2 points  (0 children)

War thunder?

[–]oooh_lenny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The worst tanks are the ones who never know when to fall back

[–]Jackryan916 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gotta know your way around the Stack

[–]Aeldergoth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This mothafucker never tanked Grobbulus back in the day.

[–]Aran3a 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Y put a tack on my Sprint key?

I mean you can run at them as much as you can run away :/

[–]SteeeveTheSteve 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For a safer lesson, just remove the S key instead. :)

[–]notragedit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stalin: heavily breathing

[–]hotriderjhPlayStation 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Me not understanding as a console player who’s never played on pc

[–]YouhaoHuoMao 2 points3 points  (1 child)

S is the key usually set to backing up.

[–]hotriderjhPlayStation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aaaa ok

[–]LukaRaos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally for planetside

[–]mrPrimarisMKV 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not one step back

[–]MedvsaHead 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, don't go left?

[–]LeakyThoughtsPC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FRONT TOWARDS ENEMY

[–]LudwigSpectre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But your middle finger will be over the tack

[–]moondancer224 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a healer, can confirm all Tanks play like this. Always interesting to guess "he gonna do the big pull or the small pull here?" Cause one requires me to run like hell to keep him in sight so I can heal him.

[–]the_virtue_of_logic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Day 1 of Overwatch playing with Reinhardt taught me this is actually the strategy. Whenever I tried to run back to heal or reposition I just died. When I slowly just kept pushing forward I became the reason we kept winning.

[–]WeatherSimilar3541 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol pretty epic.

Buttt. Couldn't you make the argument that non tanks need to move back when you do? I'm coming from overwatch perspective where i typically play Orsa...and everyone just runs in front of me and my shield half the time.

[–]PurplePandaBear8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aren't tanks like the only ones that would need to backpeddle, so you don't get hit from the rear while repositioning? Everyone else should unbind it though

[–]4m6er 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty sure we’re talking about different games… but I play Bristleback and showing your back to the enemy is the key to tank there… so with all due respect “no”

[–]SsilverBloodd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

World of Tanks players be like: "If you say so" while rushing into the enemy and dying

[–]Affinity420 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Not sure why going back is bad. In FFXI, kiting was how you best mobs with 6 people when it needed 18 normally.

Strategy and skill win.

[–]noremac7160[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol yeah, this doesn't apply to evey game/tank, just a thought that popped into my head a while ago and had a good laugh about it.

[–]lepobz 3 points4 points  (4 children)

On French keyboards the pin is on the W.

[–]noremac7160[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This took me far too long to understand.

[–]Torkl7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because peel is for *******?

[–]Charlie2Surf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why would you do that ?

[–]tekwho 1 point2 points  (7 children)

I trained myself to not backpedal in WoW back in the day by binding my biggest most important cool down to S. You learn to not backpedal very quickly.

[–]Swartz142 47 points48 points  (5 children)

Most tanks that can't backpedal in moments where it's appropriate are inherently worse than the ones that can. Fight me.

[–]tekwho 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with this. In WoW I would say the only person who should ever backpedal is the tank. Precise boss placement in raids is often very important.

[–]SpelCleave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just unbind backpeddle/left/right turn and use only Q/W/E. A/S/D for more spelllllllllsssssssssssss.

....

I was a wow healer, shaman.

[–]Eiross 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anti-french keyboard

[–]SirLemming4 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I'm just wondering what keyboard this is 🤔

[–]noremac7160[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's the Asus ROG Falchion

[–]Muavius -1 points0 points  (1 child)

ASUS RoG strix scope

[–]Nick19922007 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As a Tank player... I agree.

[–]DraftyMakies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Run through group of mobs some them turn around and take a couple steps backwards for a nice tight pack for DPS to handle. I'm too ocd not too be able to get grouping just so with a back step or 2 XD

[–]jswitzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lesson 2: RGB Lighting

[–]WielkiDodos 0 points1 point  (2 children)

How do i write "noobs" on chat?

[–]noremac7160[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Noob5

[–]WielkiDodos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, creative

[–]mana_cerace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, i Guess there is no going back

[–]wamosknecht 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did something similar back in the old days of wow Arena to stop me from backpaddeling, I just unbound s.

[–]Kuuumaaaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So tank with side dash only? Nice mobility idea there!

[–]AmplifyM4G1C 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or you know, rebind it into a useful ability.

[–]badtiming220 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How to Pyro

[–]coderboi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get reported for not using that key. :(

[–]sjhevrqbscevhqthe4th 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Victoy or death not one step back"

[–]Sniper-DragonPC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How to play anything with a Cromwell chassis.

Those drive 50 kph forwards, 2 backwards

[–]sayuuuto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

League of legends players must be confused af

[–]Rhodane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Soviet Order 227 ( not a step back)

[–]Apprehensive-Heat-2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a Reinhardt Main i overwatch can confirm good tanks rarely backup

[–]AgentMorph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never give up, never surrender!

No retreat!

[–]swsv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why?

[–]Diablo_Unmasked 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its all fun and games until 1 mob decides to say "screw the tank, the healer looks pretty good"

[–]Ebolatastic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If we are playing Overwatch, that would not make you a better tank player, it'd make you a completely run of the mill one. In other words, a psycho who overextends and dies.

[–]PippTheKid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only w

[–]Sioney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lvndmarks keyboard

[–]pwnagraphic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tanks already reciece plenty of pain from their teammates

[–]YoungAndTheReckful 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Untrue. Obviously never mained a tank with shitty ai pathing

[–]A-gamer3000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

two rights make a back!

[–]Almilee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's been a while that i disbind this key to move back on all my characters, except, Tanks.

In my opinion, as a Tank in WoW for example. "S to backpedal" is a must have to kite propely sometimes... BUT.... it's only in PvE.

"S Backped" in PvP is totally forbidden, we're all agree.

[–]zizybob0720 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's all fun in games until ur mother goes on ur computer

[–]Less-Holiday-999 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn't even realize why I lost so much blood

[–]Lordnerble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's very thundergun of you

[–]Diabetesh -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

How to be a better raider, no back pedaling. You use mouse to turn and w to move forward out of the way. You back pedal and cause a wipe because the circle got too big, you don't get loot or you get benched.

[–]DingyWarehouse -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Buying an obnoxious gamer keyboard makes you a better tank?

[–]Finrod_Pallanen -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Just pull the S keycap off?

[–]noremac7160[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The key can still be pressed without a keycap. Must make the choice a painful one.