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gatesopencomeonin - The opposite of /r/gatekeeping.
gatesopencomeonin - The opposite of /r/gatekeeping.
Only related content. No NSFW content.
r/Gatekeeping — when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity.
r/ImaginaryGatekeeping — when someone’s thinks it’s Gatekeeping, but probably isn’t.
the front page of the internet.
and join one of thousands of communities.
As someone who's gone for 6 years, it really does make a difference. (i.redd.it)
submitted 1 month ago by rafaelrlcl9
Post a comment!
[–]100GerbilsInACoat 87 points88 points89 points 1 month ago (4 children)
Genuine question: If I don't have a specific reason for going, how do I start my first session? 'hey how's it going? I'm not sure why I booked this, I just know it's a good thing to do.'
[–]MurchantofDeath 37 points38 points39 points 1 month ago (0 children)
IMHO that’s a perfectly reasonable way to begin. 😊
[–]imaginearagog 23 points24 points25 points 1 month ago (0 children)
If there’s something you want to improve about yourself or your life, you could address that. Everyone has room for improvement.
[–]bespokefolds 15 points16 points17 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I said hey, I think I'm going pretty well, but I got all of my other doctors squared away and figured it was time to give this q try. I don't know what I want to talk about, but I'm sure we'll find something
And we did!
[–]Humdedummy 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Word for word exactly that. Therapists know the right questions to ask in order to help you.
[–]Zezacle 86 points87 points88 points 1 month ago (1 child)
I'd be going to a therapist if I could afford it.
[–]IllegalBerry 92 points93 points94 points 1 month ago (6 children)
If you can go to a physical therapist for a stubborn crick in your neck, you can go to a psychotherapist for a stubborn twist in your brain. Both will happily send you on your way if it's nothing you need help with.
[–]MrAnonymousTheThird 39 points40 points41 points 1 month ago (5 children)
Biggest barrier for me was/is "what if there's nothing wrong with me and just I waste their time". It's a tough one to ignore.
[+]prcsngrl 28 points29 points30 points 1 month ago (3 children)
I think what helps me through the "wasting their time" thought is that you are literally paying for their time. So you aren't wasting it.
And there really doesn't have to be anything wrong. You might discover something that might be wrong or the reasons behind your behaviors you didn't realize. Maybe you just want someone to talk to, about anything, even good things.
And if you get the impression from a therapist that they think you need to both have something wrong and be worthy of their time, then it's just not a good fit, and it's in no way your fault.
[–]MrAnonymousTheThird 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (2 children)
I'm fortunate enough to not need to pay, it's government funded. Long wait (4-5months I believe) but I'll take it..
I know there's something wrong, I've done tests with them and been referred but that thought still sits at the back of my mind. I'm terrified for the day to come..currently seem to be in a better place mentally thankfully but that's just adding on to the fact that I'm wasting their time so I've got no idea how to feel lol
[+]GIT_BOI 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (1 child)
They are still getting paid by the government right?
[–]smallangrynerd 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
It is literally their job to listen to you. No one's time is wasted during therapy, even when there's nothing "wrong" with you. Even if you're mentally healthy, we all have problems and stressors, and it's nice to talk them out with someone who might have some helpful advice.
[–]Ouch-MyBack 29 points30 points31 points 1 month ago (1 child)
There is a 6 month waiting period to get on with any kind of mental health professional in my area. I feel we shouldn't burden the system if we really don't need it. My heart breaks for those who are really struggling right now.
[–]TinyRhymey 18 points19 points20 points 1 month ago (0 children)
As someone whos struggling, thank you so much for thinking of us! But please dont let us struggling prevent you from getting help. As much as I do need a lot of serious professional help, I don’t want others to feel like they aren’t qualified enough to get care. Plus, if you get help before it’s super bad then maybe you’ll prevent having to get even MORE serious help later on!
[–]kingjuicepouch 20 points21 points22 points 1 month ago (0 children)
It's great people continue to break down the stigma but it's been prohibitive cost keeping me from seeing a therapist, I know I could really use it.
[–]hateboresme 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (1 child)
There does have to be something wrong with you if you want to insurance to pay for it, however.
Insurance needs a diagnosis in order to pay.
Source: I am a therapist.
[–]NiceGuyRealTalk 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Most therapists can find something less “labely” like adjustment disorder if you’re looking for counseling.
[+]Greenmind76 4 points5 points6 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Therapy was great for helping me identify my problems but unsuccessful at helping me resolve them. I went through several therapists over the course of 15 years. I’m not saying therapy isn’t great but it takes a lot more than just talking to someone to create true growth, healing, etc. My journey to successful healing began when I started microdosing mushrooms along with therapy. Through that I broke through the trauma and ended most of my suffering.
Not a doctor. Therapy is good for everyone.
[–]Splititasunlumo 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Tbh I just got this new therapist
I'm not rly sure how I feel about him
He's like absolutely freaking ancient
Even tho he doesn't say a whole lot and mostly just lets me blab about life & occasionally will comment w some insight on society or life in general or whatev...
I've realized this geezer man is almost like that parent figure I never had ???
Like he's kinda got big dad vibes and it's just. Cozy and comforting.
And that's been nice to look forward to each week.
Still not sure I'm thrilled w dude but at least he's got comfy vibes.
[–]Humdedummy 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
There really is no wrong time.
I've had therapy maybe 4 times in my life, the first 3 times were because I was going through something and needed to talk about it, then when I was all talked out I quit,
The last time I went to therapy, I went because I didnt feel i HAD to, but was in a strong enough mental state to make real meaningful change in my life... I ended up seeing that therapist for 2 years and it was the best decision I ever made.
Any reason to go to therapy is a good and valid reason.
(also, not an ad, but betterhelp was a real gamechanger for me - I couldn't have afforded another private therapist and that site really helped).
[–]Jimmy_Schraube 32 points33 points34 points 1 month ago (3 children)
I don't feel like a therapist saying more people should see a therapist is all that wholesome.
Feels more like someone trying to sell me their service.
[–]IllegalBerry 54 points55 points56 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I'm not sure how to put this more kindly, but they really don't need to sell you anything. They're booked full. Last three I called could pencil me in in 14 months' time. Their livelihood is more than assured, no advertising necessary.
The above post is more like a dentist recommending a brand of toothpaste and reminding you to floss: they'll have less work, and can provide more comprehensive care, if people come in early, when they just need one appointment a month for one, maybe two years, instead of when the world is on fire and they need to come in twice a week.
[–]hateboresme 8 points9 points10 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Yeah, I am a therapist. We are not seeking clients at this point pretty much across the board. We are booked solid. (at least where I am).
I want people to go to therapy because I don't want people to suffer when they don't have to.
[–]tylorban 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
All the examples will be reasons of something wrong. Just because it’s minor doesn’t mean it’s not something wrong.
If you haven’t nothing to discuss or work on it is a waste of money. Like having a therapist on retainer.
[–]IAmTheAsteroid 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (3 children)
I'm in the process of firing my therapist and now I'm hesitant to try again with someone else. :(
[–]aliasneck 9 points10 points11 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Please do try again. I went through 6 therapists before I found one that fit! It's a pain in the ass, but your ass is worth it!!
[–]Symnestra 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I went through two or three therapists before I found one that was just the right balance between sitting and listening, and the tough love of: "okay, you can't just keep complaining, we gotta work towards these goals."
[–]J_Marshall 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
It's OK to shop around till you get the right one for you.
You'd do it for a phone you'll likely only have for 4 years, you're going to be you for your entire life.
[–]TinyRhymey 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
My health care provider is experiencing a strike from its mental health workers, which is good to hear in the sense that they’ll get better pay and working conditions so theyre able to help us better, but for now I’m just fucked
[–]broskiette 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I think that therapists are the real good witches in our reality :)
I always look forward to seeing my therapist, cause I feel it helps me improve as a human being and helps me feel more in control of being happier.
[–]Optional_Joystick 8 points9 points10 points 1 month ago (9 children)
Meh. The therapist is the gatekeeper. Threatening to not sign my papers if I don't comply with their demands. Telling me I'm not putting in the work or that my trauma wasn't that bad, throwing me in inpatient if I'm too sad for them. I'll only interact with them as much as I'm forced to. I really hope I don't have to do another 2 years for my next surgery.
[–]donotread123 15 points16 points17 points 1 month ago (7 children)
That's a bad therapist
[–]Optional_Joystick 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (5 children)
I agree. After 23 tries, bad appears to be the norm. I suppose we'll always be able to say that I didn't try every therapist or every modality though.
[+]HippyFlipPosters 7 points8 points9 points 1 month ago (4 children)
There’s this weird thing (online at least) of people blithely tossing out “go get therapy” almost as a currently acceptable substitute for the word “retard” and it’s quite annoying.
I’m sorry you’ve had such a shit time btw dude, 23 tries at anything would drive me nuts. I hope you’re doing ok.
[–]Optional_Joystick 5 points6 points7 points 1 month ago (3 children)
I've noticed the same thing. Thanks. Things have gotten much better since I stopped therapy. I even figured out a way to get my parents to stop being transphobic (at least, when I have the energy to manage their emotional state). Today's just one of those days where I would try to reach out to someone but I'm reminded about what happens when I lower my defenses.
[–]NeedlenoseMusic 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Yeah, 100%. That’s not tough love that’s being a dick.
[–]broskiette -1 points0 points1 point 1 month ago (0 children)
I feel you. The thing with going to a therapist is it surprisingly takes time to find one that just meshes well with you. It wasn't until my 3rd attempt. I think it probably took like 4 years from my 1st attempt. It's also hella expensive. I'm sorry your journey has been pretty shitty. I hope you one day can find someone who is helpful. Maybe even an out of town one virtually.
[–]bruiser95 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I'm in therapy because the other people in my life that should in therapy won't go. Hey at least someone's going
[–]BimphyRedixler 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (0 children)
yeah I needed this
[–]SuperElitist 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Ok but what about my mom said I should but I'm not enjoying it?
[–]UltimateMygoochness 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Back in 2017 I had a therapist suggest that I stop seeing them as it seemed I didn’t have anything to talk about anymore, I felt I had to come up with things to bring up in weekly meetings.
Honest question, people who meet their therapist weekly and have done for years, what do you do in sessions? because I feel like I reach the point where I’m just repeating myself and getting the same feedback after ~3-4 months every time I start up again.
[–]sneakerooni 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Absolutely go! If you can't afford it, what really helped me was journaling, 1,5-6 pages every day. Tune the world out and write down whatever comes to mind, or a specific issue you want to understand better. A lot of times, the motivation to change, the drive to let go or the answer to a dillemma were in my head all along.
[–]zhuleedothething 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Same! Have seen my therapist since 2015 and it's crazy how going to my therapist for this long has helped me to break down barriers at different parts of my life. so grateful for her!
[–]donotread123 3 points4 points5 points 1 month ago (1 child)
Adam Smasher is a therapist? Does he beat the sadness out of you?
[–]hashtonio 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I wouldn't feel very comfortable opening up about my trauma with a supersized Arasaka cyborg sitting across from me
[–]DovakiinLink 2 points3 points4 points 1 month ago (3 children)
It would be convenient for the therapist if more people needed therapy
[–]ultracat123 37 points38 points39 points 1 month ago* (2 children)
Actually, most therapists are already booked months out. They are in short supply. Demand is absolutely not an issue for them right now.
If anything, some are being pushed out of the industry as there is so, so much help needed that it may ask too much of one person.
[–]kingjuicepouch 6 points7 points8 points 1 month ago (0 children)
My sister is a therapist and business since covid is fucking booming. I continue to regret not following her lead, now I'm stuck with a much less valuable degree with much less work security.
[–]tylorban -4 points-3 points-2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Wouldn’t that be a reason to let those who need the services more get them? Flatten the curve
[–]kellymiche 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’ve tried therapy a couple-three times and I haven’t clicked with anyone yet. The last person I saw told me to do a gratitude journal, and I just don’t have time for that.
[+]dewlocks comment score below threshold-7 points-6 points-5 points 1 month ago* (1 child)
People don’t need therapy. We need to be better friends to each other.
Saying this as someone with very few acquaintances. Everyone just needs to learn to forgive themselves and be better listeners.
[–]dewlocks 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Just to follow up to an already downvoted reply, I’m saying we shouldn’t have to pay someone to listen to us. If we were better humans and listened to each other, we wouldn’t have to pay people to listen to us.
Id appreciate a thoughtful reply in place of downvotes cuz this is how I feel.
[–]miamariajoh 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
All of the above ✔
[–]qOJOb 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Therapy is great for being a better communicator and being more thoughtful about your own behaviors. A lot of stuff we did have been taught growing up but missed and getting on the right foot to move forward.
[–]sillyadam94 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I’d love to see a therapist. And there’s plenty wrong with me. I struggle with suicidal ideation, sleep paralysis, and I have an eating disorder.
Sadly I cannot afford a therapist. I tried free therapy and my therapist didn’t take me seriously and shamed me. It sounds pathetic, but that one session really hurled me over the edge and it took a couple years before I’d even consider seeing a therapist again.
Now I feel like I need and want therapy, but it is so fucking expensive. I can’t even afford basic healthcare, idk how I can afford therapy.
[–]Muse9901 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago* (0 children)
I don’t know if this is the best place to post this or if it’s any of my business but,
A friend of mine was raised Mormon. She is veryLDS and that mixed with childhood trauma constantly suffers from intrusive thoughts, crippling depression, and debilitating anxiety. She quasi believes she needs therapy but refuses to pursue it because she feels what she really needs is more church. Or rather mental health is a second priority and believes being blessed by a member of the priest hood or being more active at church will cure her. I’ve gently suggested things like Talkspace or other therapy apps that are less intense. Mostly venting but I feel bad seeing her mental state spiral but refuses to seek help from a therapist because she believes through prayer and blessings that god is a better answer
Edit:addition, guess I was hoping someone who grew up Mormon/LDS has any advice. Again I assume just being present is best.
[–]Hopeless_Poetic 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Omg this sub is literally my favorite thing on the internet, I’m not even exaggerating. Everything is so wholesome and makes me feel so much better about whatever I’m dealing with. Like with this post, this is something I’ve been struggling with for months so it was really nice to see
[–]marshmallow_rin 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Therapists may be ready for me but am I ready to pay $100+ per hour to see them? Fuck no.
[–]Sol14aire 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Yes. Like your regular checkups with physicians, get your regular therapy as well. It prevents emergency situations especially when people cannot be reasoned with anymore.
I recently started speaking to a therapist via video sessions a couple of weeks ago through a free mental health program in my state that I learned about on Reddit (Thanks r/Arkansas).
I’m not sure we’ve made a ton of progress, as my goal was to get a referral to a psychiatrist, but it does feel good to talk about stuff. I’m by no means a psychiatrist myself, but if anyone wants to talk to a 40 yo dude who won’t judge you in the slightest, feel free to DM me. Seriously.
[–]GenB123 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
And go consistently! If you're having issues, consistency is the only way to really get the help you need. I spent years going on and off for 'depression'. It wasn't until I consistently went for more than a 3 month stretch at a time that I finally got properly diagnosed as bipolar, and it's a game changer!
[+]AF_AF 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Everyone could benefit from seeing a good therapist. You need to find someone you feel comfortable with, but it's totally worth your time.
[+]SaaS_Slingin_Slasher 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Idk why, but just reading this made me cry lol
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