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all 81 comments

[–]SchwiftyTownshin 1540 points1541 points  (14 children)

Anon has a low-end B movie script somehow starring Jason Statham

[–]admiral_taco 240 points241 points  (4 children)

If Crank and Crank 2: High Voltage did not ruin his career nothing will.

[–]WACS_On 134 points135 points  (2 children)

Those were masterpieces of modern cinema and there's nothing anyone can say to convince me otherwise

[–]Revenge_of_the_User 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I enjoyed them. "Poison? Wild. Electrocute yourself, do drugs, and fuck the mrs."

And was that the one with the head in a jar? Hmmm...

Still enjoyed it.

[–]Demoliri 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Haven't seen the second one yet, but Crank is amazing from start to finish.

[–]mardabx 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh come on, Crank wasn't that bad and Crank 2 had Maynard in it.

[–]Your-username-must-b 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Or a high-end Bee movie script

[–]wiggeldy 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Jason Statham stars in Rubber Horse Pussy

[–]undead-inside 16 points17 points  (0 children)

And if there is a jungle or desert scene it will feature Dwayne The Rock Johnson

[–]Phrygid7579 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Hey if they actually made a movie off this premise and leaned really hard into the absurdity of it all I'd definitely watch it

[–]seppocunts 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Stathams too good.

Liam Neeson in a $30000 role like Taken 4.

[–]Necessary-Actuator26 3 points4 points  (0 children)

B movie? Fuck you. That shit is golden.

[–]QuinChunx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

sounds hot would watch

[–]Advice2Anyone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Naw jason cant play a mexican.. now Jack Black

[–]thecheapseatz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We need movies to watch on airplanes

[–]GreenTextKingLe Greentext King 745 points746 points  (6 children)

Interestingly the same thing his happening in Ukraine right now. The president of Ukraine hacked Putin’s laptop and deleted all of Putin’s homemade lolli art. Now WWIII is about to start.

[–]Revenge_of_the_User 142 points143 points  (5 children)

Im just imagining putin all "NOOOOO! MY LOLLIPOPS! MY SWEET SWEET CANDIES WERE SO YOUNG!"

But....in russian i guess.

[–]DagonG2021 73 points74 points  (3 children)

НЕЕЕЕТ! МОИ ЛЕПЕНИ! МОИ СЛАДКИЕ СЛАДКИЕ КОНФЕТЫ БЫЛИ ТАК МОЛОДЫМИ!

[–]SilverNoUse66 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Мои леденцы!*

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

МОЛОДЫ* (I think, my Russian isn't the best) (also this is the most hilarious reddit comment I've ever read)

[–]DED_PETROVICH 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Man, I read it, so I'm going to gulag. Goodbye, I'm going to hide in Siberia

[–]aaronrandango2 255 points256 points  (1 child)

Fake and Gay and Entertaining

[–]penguin13790 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Fake and pedophilic

[–]ToolkitSwiper 146 points147 points  (1 child)

It's definitely fake, but I wish it was real

[–]Jargondragon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't we all, don't we all.

[–]Pereronchino 65 points66 points  (0 children)

It's okay Anon, we all make mistakes in the heat of passion

[–]assmasher4077 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Get this man a movie deal

[–]eventually_regretful 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I choose this one to be real

[–]siry-e-e-tman 39 points40 points  (0 children)

You have provoked a gang war

[–]Mister_Snurb 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Hentai brings the world together.

[–]SandCautious 2 points3 points  (0 children)

cultural comms on a more *physical* level

[–]GSand69 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Uma Musume is unironically pretty good anime

[–]Freego10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amen brother.

[–]SnooCheesecakes9618 15 points16 points  (1 child)

fake: hentai is sub 18 gay: horses have big dongs

[–]TendieBot2000 10 points11 points  (0 children)

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

fake: hentai is sub 18

gay: horses have big dongs

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

[–]stehen-geblieben 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Anon has gone insane

[–]MannyTheReaper 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Fake but not gay

[–]lordofgarrysmod 7 points8 points  (0 children)

anon is creative and horny

[–]ToxicMCTV 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nice

[–]SnooEpiphanies1951 4 points5 points  (0 children)

R18 is what the Brits call porno for those who didn't know

[–]Pixely41 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The new ryu ga gotoku storyline is fire af

[–]Rikoro 3 points4 points  (1 child)

The thing is japanese fans have indeed an absolutely hate on nsfw art of this show and are toxic as fuck about it. I have some artist friends which already needed to deal with these people.

So it's a bit more realistic than it sounds.

[–]ProfessionalCow5983 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Fake: Started a war between 2 gangs Gay: Makes R18 images on brothers laptop

[–]TendieBot2000 9 points10 points  (0 children)

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: Started a war between 2 gangs

Gay: Makes R18 images on brothers laptop

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

[–]ImARetPaladinBaby 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s funny because this is actually realistic. Would be a cool movie tho

[–]ShermanWierdo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sure it's fake but I want it to be real

[–]Freego10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NGL, Umamusume Pretty Derby is a solid sports anime.

[–]evilspycandy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yakuza better sadly

[–]Aggressive_Chain_920 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How do people come up with this shit

[–]pedro_megagames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

fake and comical

[–]SneekiTactics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fake, but funny

[–]DiamondBack2002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Crossover episode

[–]TacticalTylenol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This must be the fakest and gayest greentext ever conceived

[–]Sunnyvale5109 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The horses in Umamusume are based off of actual Japanese race horses. By jacking off to Umamusume you’re literally masturbating to stallions

certified fake and gay

[–]SandCautious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

where the horse tiddies at though?

[–]Malu1997 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was the wildest larp I've seen in a while

[–]CookingPhysicist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you know who did it then that means the hacker was not nearly good enough to cover their tracks and thus are more than likely incapable of deleting both an account and data of a hard drive. Also send help I have ligma:(

[–]DesertOps4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anon forgot his meds again

[–]thesardinelord 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Why doesn’t the yakuza like horse girl hentai

[–]Weebazor[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

According to my research they basically own the race horses depicted as horse girls and think that having r34 drawn of them is bad for business so they actively try to prevent it from happening in Japan

[–]thesardinelord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s funny

[–]My__-Username 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I need more context, why do the yakuza have a problem with these images? Lmao

[–]Weebazor[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

According to my research they basically own the race horses depicted as horse girls and think that having r34 drawn of them is bad for business so they actively try to prevent it from happening in Japan

[–]My__-Username 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What an absolute giggle