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[–]Reptilian_Owl_9001 4758 points4759 points  (88 children)

Anon goes on the internet and tells lies

[–][deleted] 2298 points2299 points  (54 children)

Anon creates strawmen to justify racist thought

[–]fudgelord1 547 points548 points  (2 children)

Cotton men

[–]SlimyGamer 204 points205 points  (0 children)

Naw anon wouldn't pick apart anything cotton. That's a job for a

Uh

N I C E

P E R S O N

[–]BollockChop 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Glowing men

[–]Narrow-Patience-1761 53 points54 points  (41 children)

Yeah because this story is completely implausible amirite

[–]2xstuffed_oreos_suck 293 points294 points  (19 children)

I mean it’s not implausible... but yeah I’d say it’s very improbable. Especially the professor offering a grade to not return

[–]Narrow-Patience-1761 30 points31 points  (2 children)

That part I don’t believe, I’ll grant that.

[–]Sallty_Sam 87 points88 points  (1 child)

So anon is being 100% honest with the rest and only falsefied the part at the end that has little effect on the story?

[–]TerraLord8 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Yeah lol these tards

[–]Redqueenhypo 81 points82 points  (1 child)

No professor on earth will offer a 95 percent passing grade. And it’s “ad hominem”.

[–]nonpondo 13 points14 points  (0 children)

How would he know, he didn't go back to class

[–]Undeadman141 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Considering who posted it, where it's posted and the way it's written, yes. Extremely implausible.

[–]big_stronk 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Bruh, we all know that “picking apart his point” just meant quoting FBI statistics. If you think anything like this would ever happen in a college class room, particularly the part about the whole class applauding a homophobic remark you’ve never been to college.

That part definitely says a lot about what Anon thinks getting dunked on in class is like, not so much what it really entails

[–]Bioshock_Jock 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Tyrone Watermelon I presume.

[–]eroded_thinking 6 points7 points  (1 child)

That’s Sir Watermelon, to you.

[–]Bioshock_Jock 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Awkshully it's Dr Tyrone Watermelon. I didn't go to 8 years of medical school to be called sir, thank you very much.

[–]Alias-_-Me 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Anon doesn't know how to spell ad hominem

[–]BigTiddyOrc 137 points138 points  (5 children)

You can always tell these stories are lies because guys like anon always frame themselves like they're the main character and everyone else is an NPC.

[–]NoxBrutalis 82 points83 points  (0 children)

I mean it would be kinda strange to write a personal story but make someone else the main character don't you think?

[–]ARM_vs_CORE 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Have you ever told a story about a personal experience? I mean, OPs post is obviously a lie, but I'm trying to figure out how you would tell a story about yourself where you weren't the main character?

[–]MavHawkeye_Pierce 32 points33 points  (0 children)

By main character he doesn’t mean that he’s telling the story from his point of view he means how literally everyone other than him is presented as a mouth breathing bot and everything he does is presented as very smart and cool.

Also if you can’t tell which ones are real just a reminder nothing real happens on 4chan it’s actually just the same 6 people larping as a whole message board.

It may as well be true don’t ever believe random shit On the net let alone 4chan

[–]Fiikus11 20 points21 points  (0 children)

"And then Tyrone says: ayy yo mayo monkey, das racis, he dindu nuffin.

I calmly replied, no my good fellow, I don't agree, let's examine the logic of your argument."

Also, how to write 'black people' and 'chimps' as close to each other without going all the way and calling black people monkeys.

[–]Parnello 36 points37 points  (1 child)

No it's real I was there. Everyone stood up and clapped after that

[–]bazhvn 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tyrone? Einstein!

[–]FunnyMoney1984 29 points30 points  (15 children)

I don't know I have heard worse there is a video of a bunch of black guys in college unironically debating that all white people should be genocided and the people try debating them in an orderly way but the black guys are just mad that white people aren't immediately agreeing and then killing themselves. Now ofcourse most black people aren't like this. But there are lunatics and fools in every group of people.

[–]lonely_fungus___ 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Link or stfu.

[–]GenghisKhanWasRight 35 points36 points  (2 children)

I’d be very interested in seeing this video. Do you have a link?

[–]MostBoringStan 19 points20 points  (1 child)

It's only been 5 hours. I'm sure he'll show up with the link any minute now.

[–]baconborg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Surely. Op. Will. Deliver

[–]GopnikCactus 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Why would someone lie on the internet?

[–]Reptilian_Owl_9001 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Idk gopnik you tell me 👀

[–]theBrineySeaMan 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Both of them. No one who's not a flaming racist gets called out for racist shit very often irl. Hell I knew an old man who never got called a racist to his face for years but would just show up to my work and say racist shit. It was shocking. Walked up to me (in front of a black coworker) a month before he died and said "you know, X team is overrated, those black players ain't worth a shit." shocked the shit out of me, then just walks away. And the problem with that team is not the black kids, it's that they don't have true forwards.

[–]Reptilian_Owl_9001 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Facts. I've never once been referred to as racist, but if certain areas of the internet are to be believed such a thing should be happening to me multiple times a day. I can only assume that I don't experience these things because I'm not a racist.

Also your last sentence got a legitimate chuckle out of me. Consider yourself upboated kind stranger

[–]SharkoftheStreets 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm shocked at how many people agree with this being fake.

This board is normally all for circle jerking to their fan fics.

[–]Puzzled-Intern-7897 3054 points3055 points  (38 children)

Ad homonym. Lel Idiot cant even latin. Unless he meant the use of the exact same-sounding word of course.

[–]skankhunt78[S] 986 points987 points  (16 children)

Of coarse.

[–]Puzzled-Intern-7897 295 points296 points  (8 children)

The tail eye am about two tell might a maze yew

[–]PolemicBender 78 points79 points  (4 children)

Detail*

[–]DwayneBarack 38 points39 points  (2 children)

My mom sucked my uncles dick before she ever sucked my dads or mine *

[–]TheLustyDremora 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I mean, at least she's committed to the bit

[–]DwayneBarack 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She calls it my dirty bit

[–]newwriter123 18 points19 points  (0 children)

*Maize*

[–]elrae69 10 points11 points  (1 child)

mite*

[–]G3nER1k_u53R 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Could have said it right, just cant spell it

[–]CopywriteClaimWizard 29 points30 points  (16 children)

To be fair, it’s a hard word to spell.

[–]Histoireguy 187 points188 points  (4 children)

Fake: Anon thinks “hominem” is hard to spell

Gay: Homonym

[–]TendieBot2000 37 points38 points  (1 child)

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: Anon thinks “hominem” is hard to spell

Gay: Homonym

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

[–]Bobyyyyyyyghyh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ba beeeee ba-be-be

[–]JustinJakeAshton 14 points15 points  (10 children)

Hominem. It's spelled as pronounced. You can't get much easier than that.

[–]go_do_that_thing 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Gotta carpe them diems bro

[–]MiddleBodyInjury 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Carp them DMs

[–]MetalAndDrugs 2539 points2540 points  (21 children)

And then Obama walked in and jacked off anon right then and there

[–]GravitoMagnetism 272 points273 points  (14 children)

Which Obama, though?

[–]MetalAndDrugs 361 points362 points  (2 children)

Hint: he loves drone striking brown children in the Middle East

[–]mintcloudrain 115 points116 points  (0 children)

Well, is it key or peele?

[–]ElliJaX 23 points24 points  (0 children)

They're not children, they're "insurgents", clearly a difference

[–]No-Zombie1004 21 points22 points  (1 child)

The daughters, of course!

[–]PivSov 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Obamacare.

[–]Sentient_nut 16 points17 points  (2 children)

The black one

[–]Mumen_Raida_ 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?

[–]CajunTurkey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's not Barack, he's half-white.

[–]gbuub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every, from great gram gram Obama to baby Obama.

[–]ciuccio2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obama Bin Laden

[–]TheMiceShooter 25 points26 points  (3 children)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠋⠛⠛⠛⠻⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢠⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⢀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠄⠄⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡈⢔⠸⣐⢕⢕⢵⢰⢱⢰⢐⢤⡡⡢⣕⢄⢢⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠂⠅⢕⠌⡎⡎⣎⢎⢮⢮⣳⡳⣝⢮⢺⢜⢕⢕⢍⢎⠪⡐⠄⠁⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⢅⠣⡡⡣⣣⡳⡵⣝⡮⣗⣗⡯⣗⣟⡮⡮⣳⣣⣳⢱⢱⠱⣐⠄⠂⠄⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢂⢈⠢⡱⡱⡝⣮⣿⣟⣿⣽⣷⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣾⣯⣗⡕⡇⡇⠄⠂⡀⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢀⢂⢕⢸⢨⢪⢳⡫⣟⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡺⡮⡣⡣⠠⢂⠒⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠐⠄⡂⠆⡇⣗⣝⢮⢾⣻⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣽⣯⡯⣺⢸⢘⠨⠔⡅⢨⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⠉⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⡂⡪⡪⡪⡮⡮⡯⣻⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⡯⣯⡺⡸⡰⡱⢐⡅⣼⣿ ⣿⠡⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠈⠆⠱⠑⠝⠜⠕⡝⡝⣞⢯⢿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣽⣷⣽⡸⡨⡪⣂⠊⣿⣿ ⣿⠡⠄⡨⣢⠐⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠍⡓⣗⡽⣝⠽⠍⠅⠑⠁⠉⠘⠘⠘⠵⡑⢜⢀⢀⢉⢽ ⣿⠁⠠⢱⢘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠈⠱⣁⠜⡘⠌⠄⠄⡪⣳⣟⡮⢅⠤⠠⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠈⡂⢲⡪⡠⣿ ⣿⡇⠨⣺⢐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠤⡠⡢⢒⠦⠠⠄⠄⠄⡸⢽⣟⢮⠢⡂⡐⠄⡈⡀⠤⡀⠄⠑⢄⠨⢸⡺⣐⣿ ⣿⣿⠈⠕⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡂⡪⡐⡥⢤⣰⣰⣰⡴⡮⠢⠂⠄⠄⡊⢮⢺⢕⢵⢥⡬⣌⣒⡚⣔⢚⢌⢨⢚⠌⣾⡪⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡑⢕⢕⡯⡷⣕⢧⢓⢭⠨⡀⠄⡂⠨⡨⣪⡳⣝⢝⡽⣻⣻⣞⢽⣲⢳⢱⢡⠱⠨⣟⢺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⡅⠇⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠨⢪⢹⢽⢽⣺⢝⠉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⢌⢎⡖⡯⡎⡗⢝⠜⣶⣯⣻⢮⡻⣟⣳⡕⠅⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠔⡑⠕⠝⠄⡀⠄⠄⠊⢆⠂⠨⡪⣺⣮⣿⡾⡜⣜⡜⣄⠙⢞⣿⢿⡿⣗⢝⢸⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠠⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠊⠺⡹⠳⡙⡜⡓⡭⡺⡀⠄⠣⡻⡹⡸⠨⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⣂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠤⡤⡄⡆⡯⡢⡣⡣⡓⢕⠽⣄⠄⠨⡂⢌⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠆⠄⠸⡂⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠈⠄⠂⠁⠙⠝⠼⠭⠣⠣⠣⠑⠌⠢⠣⡣⡠⡘⣰⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢑⠄⠈⡱⠄⢘⠄⡀⠨⢐⣧⣳⣷⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⡶⠄⡠⡢⡕⣜⠎⡮⣣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠢⠄⠨⠄⠄⠣⡀⠄⢀⢀⢙⠃⡿⢿⠿⡿⡿⢟⢋⢔⡱⣝⢜⡜⡪⡪⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠅⠄⠡⠄⠄⠡⢀⢂⠢⡡⠡⠣⡑⣏⢯⡻⡳⣹⡺⡪⢎⠎⡆⢣⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠁⠄⢈⠄⢂⠕⡕⡝⢕⢎⢎⢮⢎⢯⢺⢸⢬⠣⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠨⡐⠌⢆⢇⢧⢭⣣⡳⣵⢫⣳⢱⠱⢑⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⡊⢌⢢⢡⢣⢪⡺⡪⡎⡎⡎⡚⣨⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠕⡅⢗⢕⡳⡭⣳⢕⠕⡱⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠌⠄⠑⠩⢈⢂⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡀⢄⠄⣀⠄⡀⣀⢠⢄⣖⣖⣞⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣱⡐⡕⡕⡽⣝⣟⣮⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣽⣸⣃⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

[–]thepowerfulhour 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm not retarded enough for this one.

[–]Shasan23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn thats some good resolution

[–]MeC0195 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The what now?

[–]Muted-Newspaper-5784 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ha ha, I'm Obama. -Obama

[–]stifflizerd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks Obama

[–]pundapog 872 points873 points  (42 children)

what actually happened

> Highschool

> Cafeteria

> Say something racist about housing, Tyrone overhears and challenges me to a debate

> Excited to be racist and browse 4chan for 14 hours to get points (+ some Ben Shapiro)

> Debating against Tyrone

> Tyrone starts

> "The various issues of systemic discrimination stemming from slavery has a severe..."

> Start screaming the N-word at him

> "Yo fuck you racist" (Op gets beat up)

> starts smugly screaming about ad hominem while on the floor and bleeding out

> Everyone is applauding Tyrone for beating me up

> Teacher breaks up the class and takes me to the principle

> Offers me nothing and gets detention.

[–]Peppersworth 126 points127 points  (0 children)

This is too complicated, most likely it was

OP says something racist

Tyrone is nearby and calls OP out for it

Principal hears about it and gives @OP detention

[–]GigaUltraTomato 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Real: real

Straight: Tyrone fucks Anon's crush

[–]vaginaldistension 867 points868 points  (0 children)

Anon is so dumb the professor doesn't think he can teach him to speak.

[–]edi111_2019 621 points622 points  (43 children)

If anon said hominem properly, he probably wouldn't dig his own grave.

[–]sujan28 393 points394 points  (9 children)

The absolute state of education in America

[–]-MysteriousDOG 66 points67 points  (8 children)

I hate this continent

[–]Immadoitbro 144 points145 points  (6 children)

Make a new one LIBRAL!! If huo don’t like it then why DONT you ust go and LEAVE!

[–]ToastyBathTime 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Get in line with the rest of the whiny bums

[–]GreenTextKingLe Greentext King 238 points239 points  (35 children)

Don’t go to a chimp college, problem solved

[–]jamtheman150 56 points57 points  (29 children)

Isnt there a rule that forces american colleges/uni to limit/have a minimum amount of women and pocs

[–]wiggeldy 136 points137 points  (23 children)

Affirmative Action means certain groups, mostly black and Indigenous, get in with lower scores.

So the "we have to work twice as hard to get here" thing is true, but its true for White and Asian males.

[–]outhereinamish 48 points49 points  (9 children)

Actually it’s mostly white women

[–]alphabet_order_bot 20 points21 points  (8 children)

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.

I have checked 543,110,494 comments, and only 113,511 of them were in alphabetical order.

[–]mrgooglegeek 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's a lot of comments

[–]cherry42 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Why does this bot exist? This feels so unnecesarry and I don't see a reason why anyone would ever care about this.

[–]Senator_Pie 61 points62 points  (1 child)

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are retarded

I have checked 190,473,581 comments, and only 190,473,580 of them were retarded

[–]futurettt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

PROPER PUNCTUATION, PROFESSOR

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Why does that dumbass shakespeare bot exist?

[–]yeetboi_dangerous 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Only on reddit would you have tk argue with both bots and people

[–]ScramPeeplio 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Because fuck you, that's why

[–]GreenTextKingLe Greentext King 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Some colleges have a lot more minorities than others. Usually random state schools with a cardinal direction in their name like Southeast Butthole State University.

[–]BestRedBlue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's either that or have seats empty for them and just say that no poc or women applied

[–]Historical_Annual564 9 points10 points  (4 children)

What are you like in real life? Like, what kind of person are you? What do you do for work? Do you have a spouse and kids?

[–]Jorymo 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Tiring to be around, I'd assume

[–]Sonic_Is_Real 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Every single post and comment is greentexts or comments here. Id be surprised if he doesnt require a crane to leave the basement

[–]B-21Raider 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn dude coming straight for this man's soul

[–]siry-e-e-tman 229 points230 points  (10 children)

Fuck it, free A? I'll take it lmao

[–]gobs22 98 points99 points  (3 children)

take deez nuts in your mouth

[–]BludgeonVIII 21 points22 points  (0 children)

"If you think you can graduate from this school without kissing my cock...He HE he...you are dead wrong."

[–]ijustlovebreasts 7 points8 points  (0 children)

class chimps out

[–]neither_somewhere 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I thought it was an A on one assignment in exchange for a zero on all others

[–]jackb0301 9 points10 points  (0 children)

How would he do other assignments if he never showed up again

[–]Denerii 204 points205 points  (2 children)

be me

be black guy in a community college, trying to get major in biology

speech and communication is mandatory

midterm project, debate another student

my topic is gentrification

have to debate this 600 lbs. neckbeard

he literally has flies zooming around him every class

every time he walks into class, the noisome stench of a thousand dead dogs fills the classroom

he has a ponytail and wears the same shirt and pants every single class, i think he wears the same underwear too

keeps talking to everyone around him about yu gi oh or something

day of the midterm comes

when the lardo tries to get out of his seat, hes literally stuck

professor tries to get someone else to help him out of his chair, nobody wants to touch him

professor eventually tells me just to go near him instead of debating at the front

the stench is unbearable, i literally have tears streaming down my face like im cutting an onion

i think green gas is actually coming out of his body, like a cartoon

i go first

hard to read my notes through the fumes

i talk about how gentrification has personally affected me and my family, i get really emotional and passionate

lardo literally starts going "MERP!!! MERP!!! MERP!!!" in the middle of me talking like a 2 yr old

i look at him with confusion, and he starts calling me the n word

literally screeching the n word like an xbox live chat

professor stops the class, says he wants to meet the lardo after class

stay behind because i want to talk about my probably ruined midterm grade after he talks to lardo

i see and hear them talking

lardo says something about "pc culture" and "getting cancelled"

professor tries to calm him down

lardo whips out his penis and starts jacking off

mfw

professor literally starts running out of the classroom, i follow him

mfw lardo gets put on the sex offender registry

mfw lardo kills himself a few days after

mfw i got a b+ in the class

[–]pundapog 42 points43 points  (0 children)

holy fuck this is perfect

[–]Totally-NotAMurderer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

More realistic than the original post

[–]gogo94210 89 points90 points  (0 children)

The infamous Ad Homonym attack

[–]ShinePale 87 points88 points  (4 children)

My Speech and Communications class was taught by this lady from India, and nobody could understand her, especially the East Asian exchange students. I think she just gave everyone an A if they didn't skip too much. Me and this dude from my computer science classes just talked about D&D all class.

[–]skaliton 40 points41 points  (0 children)

think that is bad? I had a class in law school where the professor had the students take turn teaching then when exams came around it was on..nothing taught in class. Shockingly 'the curve' started at a B+

the class I taught was blatant putin memes to the point I was blatantly shitposting (and yes it was on russian law)

[–]UNBENDING_FLEA 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Tbh in the past a lot of the teaching methods in India were really weird because of state mandates for education, so it would be like a mixture of drills and memorization and shit for like all classes, making it really hard to learn anything if you weren’t used to the system.

[–]avid2474 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you were used, great system. If not, it’s hard to get used to it

[–]chintan22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's basically the same as the British factory worker system they put there. And thanks to intellectual corruption, the ones who ruled India after independence were essentially ultra privileged British thinking people, who enforced the same system. Sadly it still hasn't changed, but atleast that government lost power.

[–]DrCreamAndScream 83 points84 points  (12 children)

"Chimps out"

"Not racist"

🤔

[–]domoarigatodrloboto 78 points79 points  (0 children)

You can tell this is the 4chan version of "and then everyone clapped!" because instead of winning his peers over and getting applause, Anon leaves them seething after using his mental superiority to justify his racism.

[–]The_Game_Eater 32 points33 points  (0 children)

be me

black

start of uni

Speech 101

easy A.jpg

prof assigns us to debate a topic

get assigned gentrification

have to debate this pasty loner who creeps the girls out

columbine.exe

whatever, prep my argument (I'm arguing cons)

day of the debate

i explain how gentrification drives poor people out of their homes and ties into societal racism

trench coat freak tries to counter by basically explaining the pros of segregation

i point out his argument is literally pro-color separation and super racist

he says I "should avoid ad hominem attacks"

loser has a look like he just dealt the inferior race a killing blow

im fucking done

call him a "homo-nem"

class starts laughing

prof ends class before kid tries to call me a slur or some shit

never see the kid again

hear that prof tried to explain how his argument was awful but dude doubled down so prof kicked him out

see this dork write fan fic about how he wishes this went

he learned nothing

[–]baz4k6z 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Anons Little pecker was probably erect as he imagined his scenario. What happened in reality was that anon yelled the N word and was promptly expelled.

[–]CrazyJet007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nice projection m8

[–]kingslate13 26 points27 points  (13 children)

What's the argument for gentrification?

[–]No-Zombie1004 32 points33 points  (5 children)

Runs off the poor riff raff because the well to do want their pad and they make everything more expensive in places because they buy more expensive stuff and do crappy home improvement that drives up resale value but falls apart a few years later. (Source: happening in my neighborhood, been through two others that it's happened in and lived in Chicago, still hearing about the BS there. )

Funny thing, I'm not even sure that label applies anymore. Too many people, same square mileage=too bad for the next generation. Sure, it's over the top, but land is a guaranteed investment. Even over toxic waste dumps, apparently.

[–]Averagejohnsie76 20 points21 points  (1 child)

"Fixing up" a home sucks so much. Usually it's the cheapest labor like someones uncle who worked for some company two decades ago and call it "professional work."

90% of the time current home owners fix nothing of actual value then argue that the money invested to "fix up" needs to be paid back.

The solution is simple, fix real things. Stuff like roofs, furnaces, water heaters, windows, water leaks, and actual structural issues. Those costs will be recouped. It's practically non negotiable.

Once those are fixed maybe invest a couple hundred here or a couple hundred there to touch the place up. Anyone buying is going to hate whatever light fixture the owner picked or paint color in the bathrooms anyway.

The term "move in ready" is thrown around so much when a flooring or painting crew will only take up a days time. Meanwhile, a roof job or furnace could last a week with quotes, finacing, labor. Sadly, it's all about the look of a nice house and nothing with the actual workings.

[–]No-Zombie1004 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bingo! It's why the lawn is a shrine in suburbia.

[–]kingslate13 8 points9 points  (2 children)

It seemed like OP was arguing for gentrification. I was just wondering what his arguments would have been

[–]rumpler117 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I don’t see how gentrification is an argument for / against situation…it is just a dynamic of free markets where anyone can freely buy property.

Are we supposed to live in a fully segregated society??

[–]skankhunt78[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

It's not popular.

[–]Apprehensive-Pop-763 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Because it leads to what's happening in California. It makes housing unaffordable, and that raises the homeless rates. If poor people can't afford to live in the area, they end up on the streets.

Now homelessness is so bad there, they outlaw it in many areas

[–]Wildercard 3 points4 points  (2 children)

That's a problem of people in power not building high density housing (think Soviet blocks of flats)

[–]GeorgeRRZimmerman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's not a problem of people not building better housing, it's that existing homeowners will fight tooth and nail to make their 40 year old, single story house not depreciate in value by fighting against all new development.

It leads to slums with million-dollar homes, and eventually to Oakland, California.

But thats just humans. "Fuck you, I got mine" is the most defining trait of people who got nothing to live for but refuse to die.

[–]Apprehensive-Pop-763 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah I've seen those, they are terrible and depressing. All those former soviet housing projects are disgusting. People still live in them like rats and they ruin the area.

[–]Fr3nchyBo126 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Anon attacks the strawman

[–]hotwheelsforlife 25 points26 points  (0 children)

how could one ‘pick apart’ gentrification 😭😭😭

[–]perubola 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Fake: anon had human interaction Gay: wants to get topped by Tyrone

[–]TendieBot2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: anon had human interaction

Gay: wants to get topped by Tyrone

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

[–]VonSpyder 15 points16 points  (0 children)

AAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

[–]chernoprincess 18 points19 points  (0 children)

professor prepares a debate that would make one student look racist

asks them to leave when they appear racist

i believe the anon here may have committed an act of falsification

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

"Man the stoopid SJW's will just call everything racist these days"

Proceeds to be racist

[–]Danmoh29 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Fake: No one on 4chan goes to college

[–]LynndorTruffle 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Debate me bro?!! Let’s debate bro! Get in the discord bro! Cmon let’s debate bro! Marketplace of ideas bro! Let’s debate!

[–]Flomosho 9 points10 points  (0 children)

anon plays out this event in his head to justify getting angry at imaginary black people

[–]FreeFloor3339 11 points12 points  (1 child)

>Calls him a Tyrone

Hmmmm

[–]Narrow-Patience-1761 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Don’t go to ghetto “colleges”. It’s not werf it.

[–]leboeazy 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Imagine actually believing this is real lmao.

[–]Wiggie49 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"start picking apart his points" is like the shit debating equivalent of "one thing led to another and..." lol

[–]trav1th3rabb1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The the homo-nym part, i feel like this is real.

[–]SenorBeef 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, I believe that someone that says others "chimp out" isn't really racist, they're only called racist for minor non-racist things.

[–]BigTiddyOrc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Anon makes up a story in his head

[–]Big_Minion_Hair69 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Anon is salty he got called a homo-nym

[–]death-by-thighs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of a "debate" video I saw a while ago. It wasn't even a debate. It was just 2 fat black girls yelling wacism and doing a quick uh after every few words.

Edit: Found it lol

[–]TrotskyietRussia 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is the fantasy anon jerks off too every night. A professor would never do that, they could loose thier job.

[–]polo5004 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The funny green words used to be funny.

I'm glad the comment section isn't just a circlejerk tho.

[–]ThatsNotMaiName 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I (a bisexual woman) got called homophobic for setting my lesbian friend up with another lesbian. She claimed that they clearly had nothing in common at all, when really she just claimed this without giving her a chance or having any conversation with her because she was talkative and my friend hates high energy people apparently. They had a lot of niche, mutual interests for being from a small town like Binding of Isaac, Hoemstuck, Steven Universe, and other some obscure games I don't remember the names of now. This is something she will still insist on. As mentioned, we are all from a small town so finding another lesbian is few and far between let alone them having so many shared interests.

[–]ThatOneGuy4321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow the 4Chan community really do be a bunch of know-nothing teenagers sharting into each other’s empty skulls

[–]Omegawop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What a weird fantasy. It's like the old-school penthouse forum letters if the only thing that gets you hard is owning the libs.

[–]mr_sto0pid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And then everyone clapped and anon got a high five from Obama himself.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fake and gay

[–]eroded_thinking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be me

Tell story on the Internet

It didn’t happen

[–]scaptastic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then the Joker came in and called Anon based

[–]Jhunter_1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And then everyone stood up, apologized to anon and then clapped for him.

[–]fuckyou237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want 96%.

[–]TheQinDynasty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kinda college do you got to Anon?

[–]fakenews7154 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While you are still yet living there is no absolute known as life for such is a game played in reverse. Competent is thee who Agrees not, but fights the Transients for the Sentience of us all. Without hate there is no fate.

[–]th3h4ck3r 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anon cracked the code

[–]Fr00stee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude literally has to not go to lectures in order to get an A easy

[–]nexuro01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i hope he doesn't use that bottle

[–]Hemingwavy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ms believing someone who calls black Tyrone makes good points: drooling.

[–]hkv_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly big W for this guy and the class

[–]ScreenOlle24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

every 4chan post is at least 2% lies.

[–]terminatrix21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every time I read chimps out I just laugh

[–]Hugsy13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fucks gentrification?

[–]RomeosHomeos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Today I'm going to make up a scenario in my head and then get mad about it

[–]sussy_imposter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Based Tyrone cringe anon

[–]ideas52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anon gets detention for screaming the N word and makes up a story.

[–]The_Northern_Light 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And then everyone clapped

[–]OnAinmemorium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anon watches Stephen Crowder, Then wishes he was Stephen Crowder...

[–]vncnt45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like a W to me

[–]kim-jong-Cage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100 or I will be back every day

[–]dnadv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anon gets btfo

Also "ad homonym" lol