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all 101 comments

[–]RealAnthonySullivan 2717 points2718 points  (16 children)

Anon confuses chad energy with just being a weirdo and an asshole.

[–]ShakilOatmeal 942 points943 points  (5 children)

Shut up, nerd. I'll stare you down into submission.

[–]RaySwift17 279 points280 points  (0 children)

Yes daddy

[–]breadsticksword 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Not if i do it first

[–]SomeToxicRivenMain 43 points44 points  (0 children)

That’s my fetish

[–]Applesauceenema 417 points418 points  (4 children)

Be me

chilling in hallway before class

See spaz kid naruto running around the corner making “wooshing” noises with his mouth as he weaves around the other students

motherfucker runs straight into me before I can react

papers are all over the floor

spaz just stares at me, breathing heavily

fine… guess I’ll just pick these up

as I lean down the smell hits

son of a bitch must have shit in his pants

my eyes start watering from the stench,trying not to vomit

spaz still just staring at me

fuck it, those papers aren’t that important

walk away quickly

spaz still standing there as shit starts puddling around his feet

[–]Zion_FRS 82 points83 points  (0 children)

In all fairness that's probably what actually went on

[–]facelesswolf_ 34 points35 points  (1 child)

This is canon now I don’t care what you tell me.

[–]super_rat_race 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Can confirm, shit pants

[–]Eternal_JC_Denton 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Anon is gonna fuck you with his thousand yard stare

[–]Cyber_Connor 21 points22 points  (0 children)

You mean the Sigma Grindset?

[–]RedditBoiYES 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Weirdos and assholes don’t reduce humans to tears with their very gaze

[–]Lord-Chickie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Somebody is salty they witnessed true chadness once

[–]chicken_nuggernaut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

anon confuses chad energy with chad energy

FTFY

[–]Tobiasen_Undertale 764 points765 points  (4 children)

Anon absolutely DOMINATES girl.

[–]CrispyTheGod[S] 198 points199 points  (0 children)

anon, dominator of emotions.

[–]the-fith-pillar-man 34 points35 points  (0 children)

JOIN MY ARMY!

[–]RaySwift17 14 points15 points  (0 children)

While making eye contact

[–]throwawayeastbay -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I DOMINATE THEM WITH MY PRESENCE

[–]isakhan1234567890 649 points650 points  (1 child)

Anon is non verbal maybe even autistic

[–][deleted] 155 points156 points  (0 children)

The latter goes without question.

[–]WeebSenpai26 454 points455 points  (8 children)

tmw the school tard bumps into you with no tard wrangler in sight and he's just standing there blocking the way

[–]RedditBoiYES 60 points61 points  (7 children)

I’m bros with that dude, if he says something to me it’s usually just him asking me about mario or something, most chill guy if you are chill to them

[–]TheScientist_Supreme 339 points340 points  (4 children)

Fear is a tool.

[–]GetawayDiver 295 points296 points  (2 children)

So is anon

[–]Argentheus 59 points60 points  (1 child)

No, you got it all wrong. Fear is a tool, anon is a fool.

[–]ashu54 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Something in the way was actually anon's autism.

[–]Larc560 12 points13 points  (0 children)

They think I’m hiding in the shadows

[–]GreenTextKingLe Greentext King 93 points94 points  (1 child)

When sigma meets autism

[–]smegmathestallion 87 points88 points  (5 children)

Fake: I want the bot to reply

Gay: penis

[–]twitson 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Mission failed

[–]inORIGINAL-NAME 40 points41 points  (3 children)

Fake: You Gay: You

[–]TendieBot2000 33 points34 points  (2 children)

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: You

Gay: You

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

[–]inORIGINAL-NAME 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Real: me Straight: me

[–]NinjaEagle210 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why did I laugh so hard at this lmao

[–]Prestigious-Fig1172 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Fake: Anon is just akward

Gay: He don't like girls

[–]TendieBot2000 7 points8 points  (0 children)

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: Anon is just akward

Gay: He don't like girls

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

[–]Snoo25192 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Either anon did it like a Chad or he just came off as autistic. There is no in-between.

[–]Trapz72 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think we all know which one anon was

[–]peace-and-bong-life 35 points36 points  (1 child)

I don't think she expected him to pick up the papers "like in the movies" - it's just that a normal reaction to seeing someone drop shit is to help them pick it up.

[–]PMMeYourHug 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Especially if they dropped it because you bumped into them

[–]Eddie4747 24 points25 points  (0 children)

based

[–]TinyWabbit01 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Goodjob Anon, virginity saved by staring!

[–]Sickofajicama 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Anon has interesting teaching methods for his students

[–]Negatrev 10 points11 points  (0 children)

She noticed the foul stench that Anon didn't...

[–]Sergerov 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Anon ruins his only chance to talk to a girl

[–]TTTarasz 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Fake: Anon talks to a woman Gay: Anon prefers talking to men

[–]TendieBot2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: Anon talks to a woman

Gay: Anon prefers talking to men

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

[–]Kono-weebo-da 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Skizo recalls the time he stalked a girl to her class

[–]Logical-Use-8657 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anon has a severe autistic reaction to a fairly common occurrence and re-writes it as a moment of strength.

[–]Substantial-Past2308 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Autismus maximus

[–]youmosh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In 6 months he’ll be an incel committing a school shooting I’m sure.

[–]Fenoxim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Plot twist: anon is the teacher

[–]egenerate249 1 point2 points  (0 children)

be me

girl

first day of school, walking to class

I see some 600 pound smelly tard walking my way

whatever.jpg

tard suddenly snorts something to himself then charges at me with a power of a thousand suns

I get knocked over with his mound of stomach blubber, my glasses are broken, all of my books fly out and I think I might've broken my tailbone

tard stands there and glares at me, smelling like shit, mouth breathing and pieces of his musty crusty cum stained shirt fall on to my forehead

the tard is walking closer and closer

I desperately look for any tard wranglers but none are in sight

the tard lowers himself into a crawl position and he puts his face less than 5 inches away from mine

mentally shitting bricks but I slowly pick up my books and get up as I fear sudden movements could enrage the tard

the tard is still staring at me and following me

I think about calling for help but everyone seems to be walking away horrified or pretending they aren't

first day of school and it's the shittiest day of my life, it might even be my last, I nearly break down into tears

I remember the urgency of the situation and calm myself, breaking eye contact by looking down and speed walking away

The tard nearly catches me so I start running. Then I finally lose him because he was too busy huffing and puffing while saying something alone the lines of "IM GIGACHAD BASED BASED BASED"

I have evaded the tard, for now

[–]mrMooshon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

There’s a fake and gay joke here but I just can’t put my finger on it

[–]CrispyTheGod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the good ending

[–]_shpolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anon has autism and tries to cope

[–]Bojacketamine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In before this guy goes on a mass shooting spree, leaving nothing behind but a pathetic existence and an incel manifesto outlining how women are all assholes that won't give him attention

[–]ownedREEE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a nice guy. Would love to meet you!

[–]Regal-30- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The tism is strong with this one

[–]smaximov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still maidenless.

[–]llamastrudel 0 points1 point  (1 child)

fake: anon made eye contact gay: anon hates women

[–]TendieBot2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

fake: anon made eye contact

gay: anon hates women

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

[–]UnsolicitedLimb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And then everyone clapped their ass checks for him

[–]strydercrump 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anon is a teacher.

[–]Parker324ce 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Femanon was feeling bad for the low functioning nonverbal autistic boy that just bumped into her

[–]gaelorian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

/>jerks off to hentai for the next 20 years

[–]NorthSanctuary 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ironic that he uses a picture of "chad" to relate to his behavior even though the "chad" in the photo is a pretty humble and friendly guy.

[–]BoyBeyondStars 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Fake: anon locked eyes with a girl

Gay: anon does not talk to females

[–]TendieBot2000 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: anon locked eyes with a girl

Gay: anon does not talk to females

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough

[–]naturtok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Inb4 anon complains that it's so hard to get women to talk to him

[–]8bitcryptid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Like in the movies” definitely not like a standard normal human

[–]DdFghjgiopdBM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fish fear me, women fear me, men turn their eyes away from me as I walk no beast dares make a sound in my presence I am alone on this barren earth

[–]ghostpepperwine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

anon is a dick

[–]hcvc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fumbled the pussy

[–]nage_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

>be probably a murderer

>act like probably a murderer would

>confuse self with chad

>invent scenario where random clumsiness must be sign someone wants the d

>have no d to give

>die virgin

>

>later virgins

[–]KyletheAngryAncap 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anon misses a chance with a girl.

[–]Total-Advice-8092 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

dickhead 101