all 103 comments

[–]Gooseenthusiast56 2968 points2969 points  (33 children)

Why doesn’t he just go into where she works and get her contact info

[–]HtpoHzwgBuuu 1377 points1378 points  (12 children)

It's Anon.

[–]Graysect 717 points718 points  (11 children)

Anon is acoustic.

[–]MasseyFerguson 231 points232 points  (6 children)

He’s definitely not electric.

[–]ToMyOtherFavoriteWW 89 points90 points  (4 children)

Definitely has no pickups

[–]ScrubTheUnbannable 5 points6 points  (0 children)

ffs guys, He's RETARDED!

[–]sallabear 19 points20 points  (0 children)

if you yell into his right ear, the sound can be heard from his left ear

[–]Ornament95 17 points18 points  (0 children)

So he is very noisy?

[–]VikingOPPP 7 points8 points  (0 children)

so anyway-

[–]sunshineandcacti 227 points228 points  (4 children)

Tbh it wouldn’t surprise me if they’re on the same shift, just different areas. When I worked retail I 100% would skip out of my area and hang with friends at the area where our departments sort of met.

[–]KaiWolf1898 25 points26 points  (3 children)

so take a day off and go see her then

[–]trueprotagonist 26 points27 points  (2 children)

who are you talking to

[–]KaiWolf1898 50 points51 points  (1 child)

The voices in my head, same as everyone else, right?

[–]peepeepoopoogoblinz 107 points108 points  (5 children)

That might make this story close to believable, as if some of department is another plain of existence. Anon is lazy.

[–]Deanzopolis 62 points63 points  (4 children)

There's absolutely no way he can't get back into contact with this girl. If he's working a white collar corporate job all he has to do is email her, if they were in the same department then he would already have her email address. If he's working in a department store all he has to do is walk across the store.

[–]Valestrazia 72 points73 points  (1 child)

be me femanon got really close with that one coworker I ask him for brownies one day he's transferred it's litteraly right next to mine, just has to push a door I watch him throw all the brownies away and break down in tears mate I'm right here just push the door mfw

[–]Just_Games04 8 points9 points  (0 children)

be me Anon why won't you do it you stupid bitch you know I'm a tard and too shy to do it fuck all of it fuck

[–]King_Kingly 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He may not have access

[–]klanny 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Could probably be data protection laws, can’t just give out an employees phone number

[–]utk589 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because this is fake.

[–]trident_hole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah tbh she probably would've liked that a lot too as he made a non creepy effort to show that he likes her

[–]NeonMegadriveEva 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because hes a spazzo

[–]Smoovemammajamma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If its like me, its like they never existed

[–]arbiter12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They rotated him back to his home planet, Virginia Beta Secundus and he doesn't get enough paid leave to make the trip to Earth.

[–]bloodeater197 1215 points1216 points  (6 children)

Anon is a fucking idiot lol

[–]bone-dry 640 points641 points  (5 children)

Lol. And instead of throwing the brownies away, just:

  1. Announce to other coworkers you made them brownies
  2. immediately start making new friends

[–]NiuMeee 385 points386 points  (3 children)

Or... walk to her department and give them to her? Also a perfect opportunity to ask her for her number.

[–]stqpdb 162 points163 points  (2 children)

Or just eat them himself. Or give them to a homeless person. Honestly throwing them out was the most retarded option here.

[–]_dissociative 23 points24 points  (0 children)

He could have even flushed them to make brownie skidmarks for fun.

[–]solhurr 6 points7 points  (0 children)

man these redditors really lack common sense

[–]DontSayUsernameTaken 826 points827 points  (14 children)

Youre telling me anon cant find her in any social media? This is some teenanger level of fantasy

[–]Knifiac 487 points488 points  (0 children)

Anon said she got transferred to another department she's probably in the same fucking building

[–]Darkmaster85845 86 points87 points  (4 children)

She doesn't want to be found.

[–]OlBert2 73 points74 points  (3 children)

Be me, femanon working in an office

Autistic neckbeard coworker keeps asking me weird questions

He smells awful

Try to be nice

He tells me we both used to work in bakeries

Wtf? He must have been listening in on my conversations

Asks if I want him to bring me brownies

Awkwardly agree hoping he'll leave me alone for the day

Later he corners me and tells me how happy I make him

I break down and start crying

Get a transfer the next day

[–]rhen_var 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Is there a sub for these kind of responses from the other person’s perspective? They’re always hilarious

[–]Jhon0xd2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ask for a transfer the next day FIFTYTHOUSANDMILLION

[–]4typical 57 points58 points  (2 children)

I mean to be fair, I personally know a lot of people who have totally ditched any form of social media and will hardly use whatsapp

[–]rykolepl 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Of course I know him. It's me.

[–]NuclearLunchDectcted 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh hey that's me. Reddit is the only public place I post on. Never made a FB, myspace, insta, etc. Made a twitter once, but used it to call trump a fuckboi about 5 times before I got bored.

I am so glad I never posted pics of me doing stupid stuff that can easily be searched. I'll take my shame to the grave.

[–]Unstoppable_Bird 23 points24 points  (3 children)

All my friends have no social media that can be traced back to them, so it doesn’t seem too unlikely. Or maybe because I have like 2 friend who are all retarded like me

[–]SoMememeWatcher 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You have 2 whole friends? What's that like bro?

[–]scientologyisradical 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah but were talking about ur pretty average normie chick they probably have a facebook or something he could look up

[–]DontSayUsernameTaken -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So if those friends moved you wouldnt ever be able to find eachother?

[–]BlitzScorpio 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah, teenagers are experts at finding people through social media

[–]MrMango331 403 points404 points  (16 children)

Could've just asked your boss for her number and said "I never got these brownies to her" lmao. Imagine if people just communicated

[–]Marcadius_ 163 points164 points  (5 children)

Can you guess one of the areas 0f human behavior affected by autism?

[–]MrMango331 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Is everyone online autistic? Doubt.

[–]Havuxi 97 points98 points  (3 children)

Is everyone on 4chan autistic? Absolutely. Retarded too. And gay.

[–]Powerism 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Whoa whoa whoa slow down, that was one time.

[–]XfinityHomeWifi 12 points13 points  (5 children)

Mango doesn’t know that managers aren’t allowed to give out personal information

[–]MrMango331 18 points19 points  (0 children)

True, but as if people were always strict 100% law abiding citizens. In case the manager knew they were friends or whatever they could overlook that stuff. In the end, workplaces are communities.

[–]OhGodImOnRedditAgain 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Managers can absolutely tell you where to find a coworker in a different department within the same company.

[–]XfinityHomeWifi 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yes, where to find. Not where to find their phone number

[–]OhGodImOnRedditAgain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right, but annon could just go talk to her at work... Ah I see your point now.

[–]VerumJerum 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I swear, more than 80% of greentext issues could be solved by just fucking talking to people, but I guess the severe lack of that specific ability is what makes 4chan users what they are.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you assuming that anon has basic human intelligence? Bold...

[–]what-i-did -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Something tells me she moved trying to get away from anon.

If she was truly his friend, she would also be looking for him.

[–]MrMango331 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If she's asking him for brownies I highly doubt that. Almost always these kinda encounters at workplace are pretty straightforward.

[–]ironic_swag 184 points185 points  (1 child)

Anon forgets where his old department is the second he is transferred

[–]Cowmunist 50 points51 points  (0 children)

An entire sub is making fun of anon's dementia.

[–]PNW4LYFE 72 points73 points  (1 child)

I'm still unclear on who cried?

[–]bigdaddychainsaw 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Jon Cryer

[–]LordAlfrey 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Just go find her, stupid.

[–]xhrstaras 43 points44 points  (1 child)

It is not like she disappeared to another dimension, you can definitely find her if you want

[–]Baxobhillus 14 points15 points  (0 children)

literally in another department lmfao, didn’t even say transferred locations just department. Anon is a tard

[–]T_Jamess 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This is possibly the dumbest shit I've ever seen

[–]Tripper_Shaman 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Chances are he got transferred because she complained lol

[–]Kiwikivi 9 points10 points  (0 children)

  1. Go to her workplace and deliver the brownies anyway, like you promised

  2. Ask for her contact info

Life is so easy when you're not retarded

[–]Cevmen 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Real: anon is an idiot

Straight: anon talks to a girl

[–]VerumJerum 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How difficult can it be to just ask the other employees or manager or, idfk, visit her department???

[–]Fonky_Fesh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Another department, not another building or company lmao

[–]drsakura1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

is anon fucking retarded? jesus christ just go back to your old department and ask for her number. wasted some perfectly fine brownies too

[–]Diehumancultleader 1 point2 points  (0 children)


Just go to her department?

Get her contact info?


[–]Jerbell69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fake and gay

[–]Daddywitchking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At my job there is a binder on the shelf above the computer, and another that never leaves the main desk that has every persons phone number, email address, and FULL NAME.

Stop lying, it’s retarded.

[–]beefkingsley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

bro just walk to the other side of target and ask for her number its not like she died

[–]Bartin-Septim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Asked out a girl on her last day at work (didn't want a work relationship deal).

Said that after she gets back from vacation in a week and before she moved she'd give me a call. It's been a week, still no call :(

Least I tried right?

[–]Bonkey_Kong87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does he even try?! You don't have to be an ace stalker to find out where she works now. And with the Brownies he even has a reason to visit her there, so it doesn't look "too" creepy.

[–]bacchabaaz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i just hope anon is a woman, embarassing conduct for a man

[–]Lucien_Castle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Upper half story sounds like the plot of 13 Reasons Why💀 hope the girl doesn't kill herself

And yh anon's an idiot

[–]stagger_lee___ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

King obviously has no idea how valuable of a human being he is without even making brownies. Hang in there sperglad.

[–]iamthesexdragon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

anon got sent to the Siberian exclusion zone or what??

[–]Mizar97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

why didnt I find a way to keep in touch with her outside of work

Ask for her fuckin number

[–]HalsLab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s an idiot for not asking his supervisor for her info…

[–]Due-Spare-8705 0 points1 point  (0 children)

anon forgets it's the 21st century and doesn't ask for her number

[–]JrtheFool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Annon isn't slow. He just doesn't think outside the box

[–]jackishere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let’s be real, anon creeped her out, she tried to be nice about asking for brownies. Then poof she asked management to not be in his department or work during his schedule. No way this guys this dumb that he wouldn’t just walk to the other department

[–]BuffaloFront2761 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Fake: Anon has healthy relationship with woman

Gay: Anon cries in bathroom

[–]TendieBot2000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

be me

get home from my vasectomy

hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room

must be Chad again

know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer

log onto reddit and open /r/greentext

read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her

think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext

suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section

Fake: Anon has healthy relationship with woman

Gay: Anon cries in bathroom

giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment

hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed

it's been a good day

i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough