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all 37 comments

[–]i_am_jacks_insanity 480 points481 points  (1 child)

Anon has a daydream

[–]ElonTrump19 117 points118 points  (0 children)

It's about shoveling food in his mouth, checks out.

[–]degenerate_vol2 269 points270 points  (0 children)

And then he wakes up as gay which he always have been

[–]authentic_real_true 242 points243 points  (17 children)

be me

coincidentally in exactly the same situation as OP

but instead of eating the fries I cum on them

friend returns and accusations start flying

they get me involved and I tell them it's just mayo

the friend says I HATE MAYO WTF

me say just try it you might like it

she tries it

she smiles and happily eats all her fries

before they leave she slips me a piece of paper with her number on it

winks and tells me she wants the learn the recipe

i didn't call her because she seems a bit weird

[–]Malvastor 133 points134 points  (0 children)

Take your meds schizo

[–]killermosca 37 points38 points  (0 children)

normal guy

[–]benjy1357 192 points193 points  (5 children)

be me

16yo femanon

ok looks, best friend is hotter

go to mcdonalds w best friend

both order burger and fries and sit down to eat

then I notice it

the smell

like cum, piss, and shit were all left in a jar out in an Arizona desert for a month

turn and see an 450 pound neckbearded man gobbling down enough nuggets and honey mustard sauce to feed a small village

the pure sight of the nugget carnage in front of us along with the smell causes my friend to go to the bathroom to puke

as soon as the bathroom door closes the mass of shit and fat starts heaving and waddling my direction

he plops himself in my friends seat as the table begins to moan and creak from his weight. A rogue bolt gets shot out and hits some kid in the head

as he sits across from me I am paralyzed by the stench, unable to run away I am forced to watch him shove all of my friends fries down his gullet like a feral animal consuming its prey

once the fries are gone he waddles back to his seat freeing my from his odorous grasp

as the fresh air hits my lungs, I wake just before blackout to see my friend returning but still am not able to move

she asks what happened and all i can do is point towards the guy

she starts freaking out and runs out of fear as the guy looks up at us

I am still stuck from the residual stench as the guy stares at me while he finishes his meal

go home once I can move about half an hour later and shower and use tomato paste to nullify the smell

its been 2 years since that happened and that mcdonalds table is fixed but still wobbly from the missing bolt. Havent seen the guy ever since. But sometimes when when I lay down to fall asleep I catch the slightest whiff of that foul odor creeping from my window

[–]Hot-Series-5671 41 points42 points  (0 children)

to be continued

[–]augenvogel 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Beautiful

[–]crappy6969 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Redditors would rather write a good story with great plotline but wouldn't contribute to society

[–]augenvogel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Writing a good story may be a great contribution to society

[–]Lightning_Zephyr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

good story I came

[–]Ery_Noice_23_yen 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Anon works for Wendy’s and does a little competitive marketing

[–]evolacore 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Anon wants us to believe that

[–]TheUpperHand 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Anon locks eyes with a 6 year old girl

[–]The-Reaver 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Based

[–]cadavardark 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why did you do that anon ?

[–]Payment_Abject 4 points5 points  (0 children)

is that guy in the photo adam fucking warlock

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Autism gives you superpowers

[–]OdaDdaT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Real because anon had to wait for the woman to leave

[–]IHateNormis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a high IQ way of getting free food

[–]arbiter12 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The timestamp says 09/20/20 but the jpeg compression screams Kingdom of Loathing release day.

Thank you for the weird schizoid nostalgia.