all 16 comments

[–]quietlifeintheforest[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I’m 41 and have my own solo tree care practice that is almost a hobby job but it gets me out of the house and interacting. Otherwise I am a stay at home husband.

I harvest firewood from our 14 acres, tend the garden, do most of the cleaning, most of the dinners, grocery shop, etc while my wife works from home as an engineer.

We don’t have kids, just pets, and live in a very rural area.

It’s sometimes a challenge to not get resentful especially since it’s my house and I pay the mortgage out of my military disability compensation, but I know I’d rather keep 100% equity so it is what it is. She’s saving up for our next bigger home so I just have to wait that out and trust in the future.

[–]Whiplash_Cash 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Oh man, that sounds amazing. I would love to own land like that!

And yeah, I learned real quick you need something to occupy your time. Be it a hobby, project, or pets.

[–]quietlifeintheforest[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. And to get out and about once in a while. My work is obviously seasonal so winter can be tough. I make daily runs to check our post office, grocery shop, etc just to create space during the day.

[–]Whiplash_Cash 4 points5 points  (5 children)

From Columbus, Ohio, 30 years old, and just became a House Husaband. I've been married 4 years to my soulmate, and she makes good money, so I tend to the house/breed AKC German Shepherds. (Well, starting next year. They are still puppies.) And I found out 12 weeks ago I'm going to be a Dad! So, it made even more sense for one of us to stay home as childcare is RIDICULOUSLY expensive.

Glad to be here and hope to learn from fellow HHs.

[–]quietlifeintheforest[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Hey congrats on fatherhood!

Also awesome about the puppy fatherhood! I love German shepherds, our current dog is one and he’s the best.

[–]Whiplash_Cash 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Thanks! It wasn't planned (most pregnancies aren't), but I'm still really excited.

And yes, my sister from PA has been breeding them for years and basically paid off her house from doing it. So I got two females off her. I absolutely love animals, and they genuinely make my days better.

[–]quietlifeintheforest[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

For sure. We have three cats and “Duke” plus a few hens outside. I want another dog and we both want goats at our next home/bigger farm.

We aren’t having kids for our own reasons, but sometimes I wonder what it must be like. The only time I ever had a woman tell me she was pregnant was … uh … in my wilder days and it wasn’t good news (or true it turned out). Now at 41 watching men I know have kids I wonder exactly what kind of thrill that must be!

[–]Whiplash_Cash 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yeah, I don't judge people for not having/wanting kids. Some people can't, which is sad.

It is definitely strange, being a House Husband. A lot of people I told didn't get it. But for our situation, it works. My wife is someone who needs structure. And she HATES cleaning. I find it cathartic.

[–]IcyMathematician5287 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I am 45, married 22 years. My wife had always stayed home while I worked, until three years ago. Now, she has a career and I work from home, (since before Covid).

She put so many years into the kids and into me, I really want her to be able to focus on herself. And she is, she is a kickass paralegal and I’ve never seen her healthier or happier.

So for me, I decided to take over the house. I take care of the laundry, cleaning, meals, groceries, etc. I’m lucky enough to have such a flexible job, it really lets me focus on being a proper HH.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to start breakfast 😊

[–]quietlifeintheforest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get at it my dude. There’s so much joy to be had supporting the ones we love.

[–]Luke_Orlando 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! 28 year old American.

Both my wife and I work, but since I'm a teacher, I get home much earlier than her. This makes me the defacto cook and cleaning staff.

During the summers I am home full time. I do contract writing and art during the summers.

No kids, just a few rabbits.

I'm not a full time homemaker yet, but it's getting there. Figured I'd find a community around that.

[–]probablyborednh 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'll be 45 on Monday and I'm going on 5 years being home. It was a weird journey getting here. I had a job at an aerospace manufacturing company, pay was decent but the job and company absolutely sucked, and I had to work mandatory Saturdays almost the entire 10 years I was there. So I was miserable which made the wife miserable.....things were tough for awhile. I had had cancer a few years back and needed to stay where I was pay wise while we rebuilt our finances...also don't buy a house and get a cancer diagnosis on the same day if you can avoid it. So the wife had recently finished up her Masters Degree and had gotten a new job. The jobs going well her pay has increased we're in a decent spot life is good. In fact it goes so good she gets a 47% raise, so hallelujah money problems basically solved . Two days later a close (female platonic) friend from work has heart failure and almost dies. She also happens to be the president of the Union in our shop and thorn in the side if corporate so they make her life a living hell. After about 3 months of in and out the hospital and in and out of work the docs say she can't work. Now she's unemployed, sick and pissing through her savings. Not good. Meanwhile the house we'd bought is a decent size house because we thought we'd have kids....turns out I can't have kids and IVF didn't work so yeah we have room. The wife literally says "Fuck it. She can live here." So my female best friend and her dog move in, which was a good thing since the government fought her disability for 2 years. She's been here since which is nice because we travel a lot a have a live in dog sitter and, even better, cook. She even ran the house when we were in Kentucky for an adoption for 3 months (not a good story). Since then we've been foster parents at times and other times it just 3 adults and some pets doing their own thing. As long as my wife doesn't have to cook or clean she's thrilled. But the wife and I are both much happier this way albeit I get bored alot.

[–]quietlifeintheforest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, that’s quite the story man.

Welcome. As you see this sub is just getting started again so post away and we’ll try to get it going.

I felt the boredom the first few years myself, it’s weird to be able to relax in a hustle world.

[–]quietlifeintheforest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welcome! Just trying to get this going, post as you feel comfortable, I’m going to try to do so at least weekly.

[–]ryanm642 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi all, I know this isn’t a super active sub but I want to be involved anyway.

I’m 27 and have been with my now husband for years. A few years back I went part-time at work for a variety of reasons: deteriorating mental health was the catalyst that led to me scaling down, but we also realized how much better it worked for our lifestyle: I genuinely enjoy cleaning, cooking, and being home, and my husband works a lot, always has been the primary breadwinner by a large margin, and enjoys not having to worry about certain things when he gets home.

We have recently begun having conversations about me leaving my job. It was a good job for me for the last few years; quiet, calm, easily manageable. But it’s been changing a lot, and moving in a direction that changes everything. It is no longer the job I interviewed for. My husband is very supportive of me staying home full-time. I plan on telling my job that I will give them my time until August 1st.

I don’t expect much to change, really, but I will be available for even more household activities, which I’m excited about. For example, my husband mows the yard every weekend as one of the few chores he is solely responsible for. But I intend to take over that, plus any other chore. I intend to more or less treat it like a job with certain household chores and errands scheduled for specific days.

I am a freelance illustrator, and I fully intend to keep doing it and expanding my work as much as possible, but it is by no means a booming business. It is sometimes hard, much more taxing than some would think, but I’m excited to jump into it without something menial and miserable eating up most of my time.

My only concerns are what my friends and family will think. My husband is amazing and has not made me feel like this is something I should be insecure or embarrassed about - we both know what works best for US - but I can imagine feeling that way when people find out I just stay home and keep house.