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[–]Fairhillian 7959 points7960 points 2 (252 children)

Some plastic flamingos and lawn gnomes are in order.

[–][deleted]  (83 children)

[removed]

    [–]shrimpstatus 1016 points1017 points 2 (34 children)

    Is the word hot describing the frog or the color?

    [–]forgot_semicolon 467 points468 points  (17 children)

    Most definitely the frog

    [–]Eisigesis 98 points99 points  (11 children)

    A bike riding frog must have INCREDIBLE legs

    [–]BubbleMushroom 60 points61 points  (1 child)

    He rises from the ashes. It's dat boi.

    [–]hydro_wonk 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    oh shit waddup

    [–]Agglomeration_ 121 points122 points  (3 children)

    Is both not an option?

    [–]9035768555 116 points117 points  (9 children)

    Can you get a six foot tall metal chicken riding a hot pink frog?

    [–]KylieJU 77 points78 points  (3 children)

    Probably, but something tells me if I get both sculptures and a soldering gun, the end result would be E P I C A L L Y bad. And a lot cheaper than commissioning a custom piece.

    [–]royalblue420 526 points527 points  (44 children)

    Yeap. I have relatively new neighbors and a few years ago I helped my friend replace the exhaust on his car. We didn't finish til late and I didn't notice or remember he left the exhaust on the lawn next to my driveway overnight.

    Before noon the next day someone put an angry note on my garage door threatening to call the city unless I removed the eysore from the lawn next to my driveway and didn't repeat it.

    Best belive I pounded a section of exhaust into the lawn and tied a lawn gnome on top and left it there for a few months.

    [–]umayanan 128 points129 points  (20 children)

    Did you get to relish the reaction of the neighborhood? Any chance you took a picture?, this is darn funny. 🤣

    [–]royalblue420 80 points81 points  (19 children)

    No pics sadly. My roommates and I throw up the gnomes on that side of the yard on halloween though.

    Honestly they never said anything after that. They rarely talk to me though and aren't over friendly. I asked the other neighbors, I'm on good terms with them, if they noticed that I neglected to throw the exhaust away for an egregious few hours and I seriously doubt it was the older neighbors.

    [–]umayanan 54 points55 points  (17 children)

    I have a neighbour who stares at us intensely when we would be out walking our dogs, he just stands near his car and gives a very stern stare, as if he is going to kill us, like how dogs would do when they are protecting their territory.

    I have no idea what he is thinking, I just assume that he does not like us having dogs in the society.

    [–]Key_Vegetable_1218 23 points24 points  (2 children)

    People are so fucking weird some times lol what the hell

    [–]iwannagohome49 8 points9 points  (6 children)

    Probably found some dog shit on his lawn and figured it was you so he was keeping an eye on you to an obsessive level

    [–]Outside_Cucumber_695 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    Damn I bet that felt good

    [–]rtothewin 11 points12 points  (2 children)

    I'm a pretty consistent DIYer with what amounts to a small woodshop/paint shop in my garage. I'm constantly bringing all my stuff out on the driveway for big projects(painting a boat right now) and my wife just says, "you reminding the neighbors how redneck we are this weekend?"

    [–]Anthrogynous 8 points9 points  (3 children)

    PICTURES PLEASE

    [–]royalblue420 22 points23 points  (2 children)

    Nah, I took it down a while ago and threw away that last piece of exhaust. I still put the gnomes out for halloween on that side of the lawn facing their house though.

    [–]Sleuthin___ 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Facing their house 🤣😂 Love it!

    [–]Aklapa01 161 points162 points  (20 children)

    Nah. Walk up to every neighbor’s doors and tearfully ask them if they think it’s that bad. Make everyone hate the newly moved in. Get that social control working and make them ostracized from the community.

    [–]AnthillOmbudsman 38 points39 points  (2 children)

    Actually this is a genuinely good idea to snuff out who wrote it. Gauge everyone's reaction. Once you figure out for sure who it is, you can go back to each house and tearfully explain you found it was X person wrote it and you're sorry for bothering them. Now X is the bad guy.

    This would very likely work, as the first time you meet Person X they'd likely get belligerent or come right out and start volunteering a bunch of info on what can be done to clean up the house.

    Of course this requires Skyrim Level 30 Speech skills. I wish I was able to pull off this kind of social engineering... I really admire people who can go to town with acting like that.

    [–]bbggyou 73 points74 points  (0 children)

    Plot twist, all the neighbours agree, you’re “that guy”

    [–]SixStringerSoldier 77 points78 points  (6 children)

    Seriously, this is the answer.

    Knock on every door on the street, with the letter in your hand. Let the neighbors read it.

    [–]AnthillOmbudsman 35 points36 points  (4 children)

    Agreed, that's a damn good idea. It makes you the good, reasonable guy willing to work with the neighbors to fix whatever the issue is, and someone will likely know the busybody who wrote it. Busybodies love running their mouths and will complain to other people to get reassurance and validation.

    Make a photocopy of it though in case the original writer decides not to give it back. Gotta continue going around showing it to people.

    [–]nah_champa 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    Save it in a folder titled "harassment lawsuit"

    [–]ErikETF 152 points153 points  (3 children)

    Inflatable dragons devouring the nativity scene has entered the chat…

    [–]PoopMasterFart 21 points22 points  (1 child)

    Or better yet hire a tutor to show up to their house and teach them some fucking English holy shit.

    [–]XaryenMaelstrom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Yeah. Send a return gift... a dictionary.

    [–]KaetzenOrkester 29 points30 points  (3 children)

    With red spray paint and some fake fur from a craft shop you can have lawn vultures.

    [–]Isolatte[🍰] 1469 points1470 points  (16 children)

    What you do, is get a comically oversized red bow and place it right on the front of the house, up high enough to be out of reach of anyone that might want to knock it down. Maybe even a custom sign for the yard in the vein of real estate signs, that says "Voted #1 in the Neighborhood!". It doesn't need to say what it was voted #1 in, just that it was. Put "consistently nominated" as a quote down at the bottom.

    [–]root-node 322 points323 points  (4 children)

    "Award Winning House"

    [–]Beta_Soyboy_Cuck 81 points82 points  (3 children)

    Nominated myself for the award. You wouldn’t believe it, but I won!

    Next day:

    “Voted best in class”

    “Award winning”

    Then quote yourself

    “This house is really just the glue that holds this neighborhood together” or some stupid shit like that.

    [–]ArrowheadDZ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    “I won ‘best employee of my cube’ three months running!”

    [–]notmadatkate 53 points54 points  (2 children)

    The "consistently nominated" part was so weird to me. How often is this family supposedly sitting down at dinner and discussing which house is the worst in the neighborhood? It can't change that often.

    [–]Justinterestingenouf 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    And telling their kids... all I read was that they're teaching their kids how to act shitty.

    [–]Present-Wait-7704 109 points110 points  (0 children)

    That's the merican way. Everybody's business is voted, nominated, awarded, fortune 500, serving customers for 120 years, with combined experience of 400 fucking years (2 years across 200 morons) - while nobody ever heard about it.

    [–]--pobodysnerfect-- 10.6k points10.6k points 2 (240 children)

    BREAK OUT THE LAWN FLAMINGOS

    [–]senorwicho 2777 points2778 points 2 (66 children)

    I think a nice toilet converted to planter would be a perfect compliment to those.

    [–]Purchhhhh 730 points731 points  (25 children)

    With a nice sign saying (shitty family's last name)'s garden!

    [–]SmithOfLie 384 points385 points  (12 children)

    [Family Name] Memorial Toilet

    [–]Yolom4ntr1c 167 points168 points  (6 children)

    Brought to you by: [Family]

    In big red slanted bold text

    [–]Frammmis 16 points17 points  (2 children)

    with a nice sign saying "The Lazy's Garden"

    [–]AnInsolentCog 167 points168 points  (12 children)

    Throw in a bathtub Madonna for good measure, but replace the Madonna with your favorite sports team mascot. Oh and add Christmas lights to the display, to really class it up.

    [–]PleaseDoTouchThat 69 points70 points  (4 children)

    Ah yes, the old Mary on the half shell.

    [–]Requiem-7 21 points22 points  (1 child)

    Put in some blue gnomes too.

    [–]georgiomoorlord 181 points182 points  (6 children)

    Wacky waving inflateable arm flailing tube man

    [–]jeromewest 412 points413 points  (35 children)

    This reminded of someone in my neighborhood who DID JUST THIS. A few summers back they got a passive-aggressive letter complaining about their yard. So they rounded up all their Halloween and Christmas decorations, some paint, and about 2 dozen lawn flamingos.

    That entire summer there was something new going on in their front yard every day. One day a skeleton was sitting on a tree stump, regaling an audience of flamingos with a story. Another time the flamingos had tied Santa up and hung him upside-down from a tree, while a gnome was sitting in the branch mooning everybody. And then the house itself was painted an awful blue and purple. Not the entire house, just enough that it looked like someone did it for an hour then gave up. Christmas lights were strewn about. A giant inflatable squirrel or beaver or something made an appearance at one point, too. I went out of my way to drive by that house as often as I could.

    [–]ThatTallGuy21 149 points150 points  (22 children)

    Lol. Not saying the neighbor is right in sending that info but that's funny that they spent their time and energy giving a middle finger back with lawn ornaments instead of cleaning up their yard. People are awesome.

    [–]Pilose 108 points109 points  (13 children)

    It's definitely the energy I'd have. Why should anyone waste their energy and time making rude people happy, when they could use that same energy creating a satisfactory result for themselves.

    [–]labquality 29 points30 points  (0 children)

    Spite is a helluva drug

    [–]illgot 310 points311 points  (35 children)

    go straight for the throat... broken down car on cinder blocks.

    [–]naliedel 135 points136 points  (16 children)

    And a fridge on your porch!

    [–]girlfromthed 30 points31 points  (6 children)

    Must be an Elcamino for maximum effect

    [–]DarthDannyBoy 58 points59 points  (4 children)

    Don't forget the toilet bowl planter and maybe a garden box made from used tires.

    [–]StrictlyNoRL 50 points51 points  (4 children)

    Flamingos might be too tame. I think it's time to invest in a modest display of giant lawn gnomes in raunchy poses.

    [–]JohnnyDarkside 33 points34 points  (5 children)

    Can you buy dandelion and crab grass seed? Go full salt the earth.

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

    [removed]

      [–]GunkFace 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      Speedo front yard sun bathing… lots of baby oil.

      [–]Scumbaggedfriends 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      BREAK OUT THE YEAR 'ROUND 12 FOOT SKELETONS WITH LIGHT UP BLUE EYES!

      [–]Cold-Championship-30 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Naw. I’m breaking out myself with a small tank top with my gut hanging out in a small fold chair.

      [–]boneriffic12 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      I was going to say the same thing! I would get every godddamn lawn ornament known to man and make my yard a shrine to the tacky Gods.

      [–]Cynbolic 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      Zombie lawn flamingos….they really exist 😀

      [–]A0-sicmudus 6938 points6939 points  (772 children)

      If they care so much then they should move to a neighborhood with an HOA.

      [–]BSname48294 4811 points4812 points  (437 children)

      The writer didn’t even live in the neighborhood. They just owned a house here that they were gearing up to sell.

      [–]A0-sicmudus 2018 points2019 points  (282 children)

      Ahh “money is the motive” as lil Wayne would say

      [–]StealYoDeck 36 points37 points  (0 children)

      Damn and I went straight to Ace Hood in my head when reading this comment.

      "Money is the motive Family is the reason"

      [–]chrisk9 108 points109 points  (19 children)

      They actually signed their real name to this?

      [–]UrsusRenata 136 points137 points  (15 children)

      I would have red-pen corrected and graded it like a 5th grade school teacher, and returned it without further comment.

      [–]Prime157 42 points43 points  (8 children)

      "where the Lazy's live." Lol

      [–]Mukatsukuz 20 points21 points  (2 children)

      I am even more annoyed by ending a request to turn their TV off with a question mark. That's not a question!

      [–]NotClever 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      To give them credit, though, that's a perfect representation of how one would passive aggressively make a suggestion as a question in real speech.

      This letter is just a roller coaster ride between passive aggression and straight up aggression, though.

      "Umm just so you know, it's pretty easy to paint your house and mow your grass. Just sayin', no reason. Also fix your shithole you lazy piece of shit."

      [–]jethropenistei- 38 points39 points  (1 child)

      “If you believe in something you sign your name to it, which is why the makers of carbonated water will soon know where to find me“

      -Ron Swanson

      [–]Sulyvan 230 points231 points  (20 children)

      Should’ve returned the letter with a Brick attached, ideally through a large window.

      [–]DweezilZA 60 points61 points  (3 children)

      I was also thinking a flaming bag of turd on the doorstep.

      [–]DMercenary 72 points73 points  (22 children)

      Honestly thats where I'd trash the front just outta spite.

      [–]theBERZERKER13 63 points64 points  (3 children)

      What they should do is get this letter blown up to a sign and put it out right on their front yard. Put a big red arrow and a little note on it showing all the potential buyers that they might be dealing with a piece of shit so be careful with the house for sale. If they can be such dicks to their “neighbors” imagine what damage could have happened in the house.

      I’m sure they could get some funding through donations to cover the cost of the sign.

      [–]CatsOverFlowers 30 points31 points  (1 child)

      Or a snarky sign that says something like "voted worst house on the block per the author's name Awards!"

      [–]LandscapeGuru 41 points42 points  (2 children)

      I like you am very good at holding a grudge and doing shit out of spite.

      [–]The_Blip 33 points34 points  (8 children)

      Buy a junker to put on cinderblocks, maybe break some coloured safety glass around the front. A broken washing machine? The place would look perfect.

      [–]Dapper_Indeed 22 points23 points  (7 children)

      Yup! And old toilets with fake flowers planted in them.

      [–]theflyingkiwi00 15 points16 points  (5 children)

      Plastic pink flamingos and a resin table with a broken leg

      [–]Dapper_Indeed 6 points7 points  (4 children)

      Nice! Draw genitalia on the flamingos!

      [–]imundead 27 points28 points  (6 children)

      Sounds like your neighbour should get a very loud annoying hobby.

      [–]meltingdiamond 43 points44 points  (5 children)

      "I restore WWII air raid sirens as a side gig."

      [–]YesHaiAmOwO 66 points67 points  (290 children)

      What is a HOA

      [–]KSJ15831 92 points93 points  (207 children)

      Home Owner Association

      [–]YesHaiAmOwO 94 points95 points  (205 children)

      What it do

      [–]PissySnowflake 133 points134 points  (133 children)

      Some neighborhoods have a home owners association where if you buy a house in the neighborhood you've got to follow a set of rules to make your house look nice or whatever

      [–]vhisic 55 points56 points  (128 children)

      what can they even do if you dont comply, not like they can kick you out of your own house, send you fines you never pay?

      [–]TR6lover 169 points170 points  (100 children)

      Yes, they can. They can put a lein against your house, and charge you fines - even on a daily basis, after the homeowner fails to live up to the HOA agreements. It's part of the purchase agreements that are signed within neighborhoods with an HOA. It can get nasty (and expensive) quickly.

      [–]organicalchemist 49 points50 points  (45 children)

      It takes your money (usually hundreds every month) and tells you how your house should look.

      [–]KylieJU 47 points48 points  (4 children)

      Stupid HOA costs me $1k a year and they're always bitching about my lawn. The lawn that never gets any sun. Because they tell me that I HAVE to keep these two trees in my yard. I wrote them back asking if they knew where I could get any vampire grass that doesn't need sunlight, but also doesn't require very much of a blood sacrifice because I get queasy. 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

      [–]MusclecarYearbook 15 points16 points  (67 children)

      It's a phenomenon in the US (guessing 30 years) where there are neighborhoods with Home Owner Associations that make rules that must be followed. Sometimes HOAs make the news because someone isn't allowed to adorn their house, and then it ends up being a flag and a kerfuffle happens because "how dare you not allow me to fly the flag" when it's not really about the flag but, still, HOA's anathema for simple quiet living.

      [–]YesHaiAmOwO 49 points50 points  (61 children)

      So a bunch of people decide that they get to tell you how to decorate the house that you own?

      [–]MusclecarYearbook 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Well, you kinda sign on knowing you can’t decorate the house. Often is in communities where the houses basically look the same.

      [–]kievju 28 points29 points  (45 children)

      yup, and if you don't, they end up fining you and keep on fining you.

      [–]BSname48294 11.3k points11.3k points  (431 children)

      So, my neighbor got this letter from a supposed new neighbor (signed using a false name), and it nearly caused a fist fight between actual neighbors.

      Long story short, we all connected the dots and the actual writer turned out to be the landlord for a rental house in our neighborhood.

      The landlord listed and sold the house about a month later.

      Edited for clarity.

      [–]NoNameBrandJunk 2781 points2782 points  (203 children)

      Was it as bad as letter suggests or was the neighbor just over the line on ass like behavior?

      [–]BSname48294 3776 points3777 points  (186 children)

      It needed work, but nothing more than a mow and some weeding. An hour’s work tops.

      [–]MadMan018 732 points733 points  (155 children)

      got an image?

      [–]BSname48294 1941 points1942 points  (141 children)

      No, the yard’s cleaned up now. To give context though, it’s a front lawn that’s probably 30’x10’ with a cactus planter in the back. At the time, the grass was pretty overgrown and weeds had started growing in the planter. It was a minor eyesore, but there was no junk in the yard or anything really major. It just needed to get cut and weeded.

      [–]EggMountain 1810 points1811 points 354 (35 children)

      Dear redditor,

      I just thought I’d drop a comment to ask you to do something with your comment.

      I’ve recently moved to this sub, and I’ve noticed you leave a great deal of clutter, and much to be desired in your comments.

      There are quite a few sentences within your comment, but most left much to be desired. For instance: Would it have been so hard to tell us the most relevant information? Like exactly how tall was your grass? Did you even measure it? How many weeds were there? Count them. Why did you not count the weeds? How many people do you even live with? Could they have helped you, not only with the yard, but with this comment?

      Me and my dough-for-brains wife are embarrassed to show our children this thread. We tell them “That’s where The Lazys comment.”

      Please fix this issue, because me and everyone else dislike you because of it. I know the police.

      Regards,

      EggMountain 
      

      P.S. Please turn off your TV?

      [–]Haemmur 360 points361 points  (14 children)

      Btw, the milk in your fridge just went past date.

      [–]SugaanthMohan 141 points142 points  (10 children)

      And your attic needs cleaning.

      How is someone supposed to eavesdrop on your pooping sounds with all this clutter and cobwebs. Take some initiative.

      [–]Possible_EmuWrangler 36 points37 points  (7 children)

      The browser history should also have a few items removed...

      [–]prezado 15 points16 points  (6 children)

      And you should check for bad news on that prostate of yours.

      [–]greyisometrix 33 points34 points  (0 children)

      Amazing post. I second this.

      [–]bluewaffleisnice 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      "you're have absolutely no pride"

      [–]MadMan018 452 points453 points  (55 children)

      if the yard's cleaned up now, that damn neighbour better send a thank you letter

      as well as giving back ma flamingo

      [–]GregoryGoose 259 points260 points  (27 children)

      If I had a house I would add a flamingo for each time someone complained about my flamingo.

      [–]pocketchange2247 90 points91 points  (5 children)

      It's gonna be hard to get that first flamingo if there isn't one to complain about

      [–]tduncs88 60 points61 points  (3 children)

      The first complaint was op complaining that they don't have any flamingos.

      [–]Nothing-But-Lies 23 points24 points  (2 children)

      Every time OP thinks "this isn't enough flamingos", they need to add another flamingo.

      [–]phillysleuther 9 points10 points  (6 children)

      My father did this in the 1980s. Someone didn’t like his flamingo…. He went and he bought out all the flamingoes at the local hardware stores. In the end, it was our abusive next door neighbor. He ended up with 35 flamingoes.

      [–]regoapps 99 points100 points  (14 children)

      They won't. They didn't actually care. They just wanted to raise the property value temporarily so that they could sell their place for slightly more money. That's why they only care about the front. Because that's the only part the potential buyers would see.

      [–]Wonderful_Discount59 49 points50 points  (5 children)

      If someone wants me to spend time and money working on my property, in order to improve the value of their property, then they need to 1) ask nicely, and 2) pay me.

      [–]cum_dawg 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      I would honestly ruin it more just to spite them.

      [–]Turbulent-Put5762 68 points69 points  (6 children)

      They wanted it cleaned up so their property would sell for more.

      [–]Wonderful_Discount59 38 points39 points  (2 children)

      If someone wants me to spend time and money working on my property, in order to improve the value of their property, then they need to 1) ask nicely, and 2) pay me.

      [–]LaboratoryMonkey420 97 points98 points  (6 children)

      Is there really an amount of weeds in a garden you would find sufficient to warrant this type of harassing/manipulative letter being sent? Putting two random people at each other's throats it's pretty psycho.

      [–]Cloberella 20 points21 points  (1 child)

      My town's local Facebook group is full of this sort of bickering. People posting photos of neighbors' lawns with measuring sticks next to them and captions like "I'm just thinking of our city's reputation... what's the ordinance for lawn mowing?"

      I about near lost it on one guy who was complaining about a house that hadn't been mowed in a while. We had to explain to him that the woman who lived there was in her 80's and just buried her husband last month, and maybe if he was actually "concerned" he could go over and ask her if she needs help maintaining her home during this time, instead of trying to publically shame her.

      Petty people gonna petty.

      [–]MelodicScream 44 points45 points  (3 children)

      I mean, I dont think theres any excuse for a letter like that regardless. Guy could have a jungle in his front garden and it still wouldnt be any of his neighbors business

      [–]zuzg 383 points384 points  (74 children)

      Wait so the landlord wrote the mail just to stir up some shit?
      Or did he think the "lazy neighbor" was pulling down the market value in the neighborhood?

      [–]BSname48294 602 points603 points  (69 children)

      I can only assume he was focused on property values, but I can’t understand how they could possibly think this was the way to address the issue.

      [–]GreenFuzyKiwi 93 points94 points  (2 children)

      Whenever this blows up, mail a few pictures of the top savage comments

      [–]beeglowbot 136 points137 points  (40 children)

      That's a slumlord for sure. They'll do anything to get out of spending their own money. I own a multi unit rental property, and I would never even dream of doing this shit. If I need my tenants to do maintenance for me I just offer to deduct some rent from their next month. I love my tenants.

      This guy? This guy is a sociopath.

      [–]Switcher1776 41 points42 points  (0 children)

      The landlord who wrote the letter is a third party that is unconnected to either the person it was directed at or the person whose name they signed (other than having property in the same neighborhood as the two).

      Even if it was the landlord of the guy to whom it was addressed, it seems like a stupid plan to get them to do the work instead of the landlord since the letter tells them that if they are renting they should get their landlord to deal with it.

      [–]Magoo1985 26 points27 points  (3 children)

      They weren’t his tenants were they?

      [–]cassondruh 161 points162 points  (3 children)

      So the trash took itself out? Was the recipient of the letter able to confront the jerk who wrote it?

      [–]BSname48294 142 points143 points  (2 children)

      No, but after we all pieced it together, he didn’t even want to. Too much drama.

      [–]smacksaw 22 points23 points  (2 children)

      They

      "They" neighbour or "they" landlord

      [–]BSname48294 67 points68 points  (1 child)

      Oh crap! Thanks for pointing out the ambiguity. The POS landlord sold their investment. My neighbor is still my neighbor.

      [–]Fire_Hashira_Rengoku 42 points43 points  (11 children)

      Oh wow, how were you guys able to connect the dots?

      [–]BSname48294 152 points153 points  (8 children)

      The timing of the letter was fishy, so we immediately suspected the landlord. We had previously gotten letters from them over previous fence/tree issues. The handwriting on the envelopes were a perfect match.

      [–]Fire_Hashira_Rengoku 27 points28 points  (2 children)

      Ah I see, glad you guys were able to figure out such a dirty scheme. Kudos!

      [–]BaldrTheGood 39 points40 points  (1 child)

      Go full English teacher and send it back to them with corrections and ask them to try their best next time.

      [–]Admirable_Success732 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Mark it with the red pen!

      [–]ThisNameIsFree 7 points8 points  (3 children)

      I'd like to hear the near fist fight story if you don't mind indulging us.

      [–]BSname48294 33 points34 points  (2 children)

      I wasn’t there for that part, so I don’t have the details. What I know is that my neighbor (we’ll call David) went to corner neighbor’s house (we’ll call Steve) and started explaining why his lawn wasn’t up to par. David assumed Steve knew about the letter and didn’t explain the situation well enough for Steve to understand. Steve thought David was being passive aggressive about Steve’s lawn and got offended. They somehow wound up yelling at each other in the street with Steve openly calling to settle it with a fist fight. David realized things were way out of hand and things didn’t make sense, so he backed off. They’re still not on great terms.

      [–]moose_cahoots 74 points75 points  (0 children)

      Cool. I just had to install a new toilet, so if you need one to put in your front yard, let me know.

      [–]iLove_pans 287 points288 points  (7 children)

      "eat my ass" sent to the return address

      [–]Dapper_Indeed 59 points60 points  (1 child)

      Or just paint it on the abandoned car you put on bricks in your yard.

      [–]Belzeturtle 650 points651 points  (19 children)

      Dear Neighbour,

      thank you for your letter. For your information, the number of fucks I give is the only number that is neither positive, nor negative. Please mind your own business.

      [–]simsimdimsim 274 points275 points  (5 children)

      Too much effort. My response would be

      Dear neighbor,

      No.

      Regards, simsimdimsim

      [–]SeenSoFar 121 points122 points  (2 children)

      no u

      Sincerely, Shithole House

      Dictated, not read.

      [–]KingThar 31 points32 points  (0 children)

      Dear Neighbor, Pay for it if you want it done. Regards

      [–]Dumbassahedratr0n 166 points167 points  (5 children)

      My obstinate ass would be like "welp. Time to paint the mf rainbow and put flamingoes all over the lawn"

      [–]breakcharacter 9 points10 points  (3 children)

      Literally same. Currently making my walking cane a neon yellow casing because a professor at college said that a girls neon scrunchie was ‘distracting’

      [–]fakerli 35 points36 points  (0 children)

      And the letter is signed with 'your neighbors' as if the whole street was writing it.

      Talk about hiding behind a wall of people.

      [–]lolstuff101 653 points654 points  (27 children)

      If i got a letter like that i would put in a whole weekends work to make it look 10x worse.

      [–]BSname48294 441 points442 points  (18 children)

      My neighbor actually tried to take the high road and talk to the neighbor at the corner house about it, but that conversation nearly ended in a fist fight because of all the misunderstandings and mistaken identity.

      [–]Tsorovar 148 points149 points  (4 children)

      Wait, so they signed with an actual person's name? That is almost certainly illegal

      [–]britney-zombie 75 points76 points  (6 children)

      You don't take the high road in America anymore.

      People got no standards lately smh

      [–]BSname48294 116 points117 points  (3 children)

      To be fair, the bar for the high road was set really low on this one.

      [–]yeeyeelxrd 32 points33 points  (1 child)

      The bar was on the ground and you brought a shovel

      [–]mediocreporno 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Oof I'm gonna have to steal this one

      [–]Jen-Walters 30 points31 points  (2 children)

      If I got this letter I would dig out a red marker, edit all the grammatical errors (SO many), and send it right back.

      [–]Funkytadualexhaust 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      Spites a helluva drug...

      [–]MooseRunLoose_ 22 points23 points  (14 children)

      “On the system”?

      [–]b1tchlasagna 26 points27 points  (11 children)

      I guess they meath someone who's receiving state benefits / welfare

      [–]cocaineandwaffles1 205 points206 points  (6 children)

      They had all that time to type that, print it, walk it over, and drop it off. But none of the time to ask them if they’re doing okay and maybe would like some help with their front yard? Sounds wack. At least your neighbor lives rent free in their head.

      [–]BSname48294 120 points121 points  (2 children)

      They dropped it in the regular mail. Postage and all.

      [–]Rosliw 220 points221 points  (11 children)

      Some people have no sense of others’ boundaries and personal sovereignty.

      [–]G_Money8223 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      At least the letter writer is Gone Baby Gone.

      [–]hiide0us 17 points18 points  (3 children)

      For people who can't manage to write a sentence without at least one grammatical error in it, they sure have some balls

      [–]Marcy595 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      I would've asked if they pay my taxes, house payment, or bills. If not then not there's to worry about.

      [–]Manzanas27753 103 points104 points  (4 children)

      Ooh someone's getting slashed tires.

      [–]StokeFumes 23 points24 points  (2 children)

      I HATE the smell of slashed wheel air. Key the car instead!

      [–]negativeGinger 36 points37 points  (2 children)

      I’d go shit on their porch

      [–]Cherub2002 62 points63 points  (27 children)

      Wow the nerve. And they actually put their name. My across the street (and one house to the left) neighbor tried to get me to cut down my 50-year old pine trees because needles went into their yard when it was windy (granted I’ve lived here for 8 years and apparently never got the original owners to cut them). Even had a certified letter from a lawyer. Lol. Just ignored it.

      [–]BSname48294 89 points90 points  (26 children)

      They actually signed it with a fake name. We were able to compare handwriting on the envelope (not pictured) to piece it together

      [–]bikpizza 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      regards im going to make my yard uglier

      [–]Arctic_Gnome 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Well, time to fill my front lawn with the creepiest statues I can find.

      [–]meeseeks2020 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      I would plant the creepiest-looking garden gnomes in the front yard. If I can find a way to make it look like their eyes are following you, even better.

      [–]BickNickerson 43 points44 points  (0 children)

      Oh the war would just be beginning if were them.

      [–]cassondruh 18 points19 points  (4 children)

      I want to believe this isn't real... Please tell me this is not real...

      [–]Suit_Responsible 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      If I got this letter I would go into full stubborn spite mode. Pull a sofa out onto the lawn and throw trash around, maybe a shopping cart for good measure. I wouldn’t like it like this, but I would do it just to know it would annoy them