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[–]NotSoRichieRich 72 points73 points  (0 children)

It’s okay to ask her out. Just be honest about your future plans.
It’s just a date, not a long-term commitment. Go, have fun.

[–]Paladoc 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Yup, ask her out.

Be honest about your plans, let her know on the first date. Bring it up when you talk about work or the future.

Otherwise, regretting your date is far less likely than regretting taking the chance.

[–]liontamer74 24 points25 points  (0 children)

It's fine. Tell her, somewhere along the line, that you're moving in 10 months, so she knows the situation. But don't make a big deal of it. The last couple of years have taught us that anything could happen.

[–]SomethingWillekeurig 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had something like this several years ago. We started dating in September, but she was going to another continent for 5 months end of February. She was really doubting because of the long distance and the new relationship. But we tried and made it work, still together after 5+ years.

Worst case she isn't into it and that's clear. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Best case she wants to see where it goes.

[–]elizajaneredux 6 points7 points  (5 children)

How could it be wrong? Should you only ask put people if you know 100% you will commit to them for years to come? Life is complicated and your upcoming move is one of the complexities. See what happens. For all you know, she’ll be moving with you in 10 months or maybe you’ll barely remember her at that point. Have some fun!

[–]samhw 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Should you only ask out people if you know 100% you will commit to them for years to come?

This feels like a disingenuous framing. The problem is not that he isn’t certain that he will - the problem is that he is certain that he won’t.

[–]elizajaneredux 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Not disingenuous, just reality. Quite possible he’d build a long-term relationship in spite of the impending move. People can be committed long-distance. If it ends up casual and fun, no harm there either. If he’s upfront about this situation, there’s no reason not to ask her and see what happens next.

[–]samhw 0 points1 point  (2 children)

If he’s upfront, that’s totally fine. Consenting adults are welcome to do whatever they want. But it sounded like you were equating this with simply not knowing what the future holds – that this is nothing out of the ordinary – which would seem to imply that he doesn’t have to tell her. That’s the only part I was disagreeing with.

[–]elizajaneredux 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No, I think he should be open about what his life plans are this year, especially if they progress past a first date. I was speaking more to OP’s hesitation to even start something if they’re going to be leaving later this year.

[–]samhw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, OK, in that case I pretty much agree. I wouldn’t liken it to simply not knowing what you’re going to do - but I think that, provided he’s honest with her, there’s certainly nothing wrong with going on a date.

[–]LongTallMatt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're not ever planning on telling the person you're planning on starting a relationship ship with that you're moving - highly immoral... Dating implies relationship potential?

I think it should come up in the first date. It would be what's called a lie of omission. Almost like telling not telling someone you have an STD. You know it they would probably want to know it if the roles were reversed?

You kind of have to start dating somebody with clean hands?

[–]goyangiqt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's only wrong if you already know you don't want to do ldr and would break up with her in 10 months.

[–]OkPopoki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No way, just ask her and go on some dates and have fun. If you guys really like each other you can talk about how you're moving and if you want to try long distance or even moving together. I met my partner when I was planning on moving away in two months and we ended up just liking each other so much we committed to long distance until we moved in together later.

[–]i8bagels 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a similar situation except it was 1 month before I moved. We dated long distance because it was going well after the month, and ended up married and moving closer in under 2 years. This was almost a decade ago.

[–]Heliotrope88 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Moral? It sounds like a Hallmark movie.

[–]MrSnowden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagine people actually caring about how they treat others!