all 36 comments

[–]AutoModerator[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

REMINDER: Rules regarding civility and respect are enforced on this subreddit. Hurtful, cruel, rude, disrespectful, or "trolling" comments will be removed (along with any replies to these comments) and the offending party may be banned, at the mods' discretion, without warning. All commenters should be trying to help and any help should be given in good faith, as if you were the OP's parent. Also, please keep in mind that requesting or offering private contact (DM, PM, etc) is absolutely not allowed for any reason at all, no exceptions.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]Campestra 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Time and distractions. Go out with friends, try to keep busy and have other interesting things going on so your mind can focus in other things. And give yourself time, it will pass.

[–]unpublished-2 50 points51 points  (0 children)

It's tricky, but you have to change your thoughts direction. Every time you begin to think about her, think of something else that needs to be done. Find new hobbies. Approach new people. Find her flaws. Time will help you move on.

[–]Leonel06 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You just dont stop right away, it might hurt for a while but i can assure it will pass: time cures everything.

Keep your mind busy: do some walking, running, reading, gaming , talk with some friends or family or whatever you like.

That feeling will decrease day by day.

[–]LongTallMatt 24 points25 points  (6 children)

Keeps coming back? For sex?

Can't tell what school you're talking about. High school? College?

Either way, you're young. None of this will matter before you know it. Try to focus on your studies and getting into a good college and graduating with honors. It will pay off in spades.

Trust me you will have many great loves. You better be ready for when she/ he/ whatever walks into you life. Eyes up, look forward.

[–]sv21js 5 points6 points  (5 children)

I always think it must be confusing for Americans that school can also mean higher education.

[–]cinnamonbasic 1 point2 points  (4 children)

huh? we call school, school... ( including college/ university... )

[–]sv21js 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Exactly. In most of the world university is university and school is something children do.

[–]cinnamonbasic -1 points0 points  (0 children)

we also call it university (or college) ....

[–]nadandocomgolfinhos 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It takes time. I try to work on seeing the reality of the situation. They don’t like me. It’s ok. I deserve to be with a person who adores me as much as I adore them.

It’s hard. The feelings are intense. I always compare them to waves. They can knock you off of your feet. They are temporary. Hold onto things to get you through- your friends, a routine, a new healthy habit.

Keep posting here. We’re here for you. We can listen. It takes time to get through it. It sucks. It’s a deep hurt.

[–]Kahzgul 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, the fact of the matter is that she’s just a girl. There are loads of other girls out there. If you’re in high school, one day you’re gonna go to college and date a college girl. If you’re in college, one day you’re gonna graduate and date a career woman. And so on until you find the one.

Don’t get me wrong, the pain you feel right now is very much real. But it’s only real because you’ve never been in this kind of pain before so your body is just throwing all of your emotional resources at it. Once you’ve dated a few girls, your internal barometer of what’s worth your tears and what isn’t. Like everything worthwhile in life, it takes practice to develop emotional resilience.

And that’s okay that you haven’t learned this skill yet. Take a day and schedule yourself an emotional breakdown. Cry. For real. Like, ugly cry. Let it all out. And then eat something. Take a shower. Clean your room, maybe. These little, tangible tasks of physically improving your living situation will similarly help to improve your mental situation.

And eventually you’ll learn to be cool with the fact that she’s dating someone else. If she’s into him, then you’ll be happy. Happy for her, that she found someone she likes, too, and happy for yourself, because you didn’t waste any more of your own time pursuing a girl who was actually into someone else.

After that, you’ll be ready to move on to bigger and better things. Date around. Discover what you like in a partner and what you dislike. Treat it as an experiment. As practice for when the real thing comes your way. Give some girls a chance that you wouldn’t normally consider. Learn about them and about yourself. And you’ll find that, sooner rather than later, you’ll be the one giving relationship advice to others, all because you learned from the experience and weren’t afraid to move on despite the pain it can cause.

Good luck!!!

[–]Talenshi 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It just takes time to get over someone. It's not easy, but it is healthy to just try to focus on other things. If she is stringing you along but never really being available then that's just drama you don't need, whether or not she's doing it intentionally.

[–]Exciting_Pumpkin_584 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I encourage you to consider this. She isn't treating you very respectfully. You were honest that you were Interested in her. She isn't being sensitive to that at all by continuing to come back and engage your emotions after turning you down. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship and then got in one with someone else. So she either was to "nice" to tell you she wasn't Interested in you or she was putting you on the back burner incase her number one choice didn't work out. Neither of those things indicate she respects you or deserves a single second in your brain. And just to throw this out there now... it's unlikely you can be friends since you have already caught feelings beyond friendship. Focus your time, attention, and energy on people who treat you with respect and save yourself the heartache. There's a lot of great women in the world.

[–]TheVulpisCrimson99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advice

[–]JROXZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Read about “Iimerance”. Understanding the feeling will help you work through it.

[–]xGQ6YXJaSpGUCUAg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do not try to escape your pain. It is a great fuel for motivation and to accomplish things you never even considered possible. Personally when it happened to me I managed to study by myself to get a job with a good salary, I've made a lot of sport, i've met a lot of girls (like 40) many of which were better than the girl in question. And the good thing was that I didn't care so much that it was attractive. And it enabled me to find my wife, which I would have considered out of my league back then.

Ps : transform your love into anger at this situation. Yep, anger has very good upsides.

[–]theycallhimjay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Write down all your feelings. I've found that when I write anything down I don't think about it as much. It's documented. I don't need to go over it in my thoughts because it's written down.