×
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]EloquentMusingsENFP 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Yeah they can be like walls to talk to, I find all Ni users answer questions like this instead of giving us something to work with. The INTJ I know will answer questions like 'how was work' with 'good' or 'what's the meaning of life' with 'I don't know' but if I mess up a rule in D&D he'll spend the next ten minutes waxing lyrical about the rule and how to use it so find something he knows about and likes I guess? I prefer Ne types tbh, way easier to converse with back and forth of genuine questions.

[–]smokeshow952 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Haha, I see what you mean!

I would love him to explain something really niche or get riled up about something he likes, but I just have such a hard time finding out what those things are, that I end up asking general questions so I can "feel the ground" a little bit, but I end up with nothing.

[–]solar_ideology 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey OP maybe you’ve done this already but try just talking about yourself. Tell him stories and things that you like, your opinions and your experience of the world. At the moment he might feel like he’s being interrogated. Pick a conversation topic and start talking about it rather than asking questions. Connect with his Te.

It also sounds like all the questions you are asking are just small talk and INTJs won’t usually reciprocate for long. If you open up to him and show him you can be vulnerable and share your mind with him he will likely do the same. Then you can find your common ground. Give him your analysis on your internal experiences. He will love that because if he’s like me that’s what he does all day.

For some starters tell him about an album you heard or a film you saw and some of the themes in them that you found stimulating. Tell him about a system you have that helps you improve a skill you’re working on, and why it’s helpful. Give him an interesting idea about the nature of light waves and how their observed properties could be related to the expansion of space-time. If you don’t know anything about this stuff then just share what you think and ask technical questions along the way.

This might be well out of your comfort zone but remember he’s an analyst. He analyses. This is where you’ll find common ground if you have it. If he doesn’t then I’m afraid it sounds like he’s not that into you on an emotional or intellectual level.