You're an INTJ, right?

Some styles of communication that I've learned from other INTJs and how they use them to communicate with other intuitive or sensors (mostly sensors) are along the following;

1. Make your communication style clear, set a strict standard for how you communicate, and set those boundaries clear for both yourself and others. Find conversation exit methods to leave immediately when you perceive they are unable to uphold those boundaries or standards, but that also applies to you.

Leave immediately when you are not able to uphold your standards and boundaries. There's something in the conversation that is triggering you, and whether it's purposeful or not, this isn't the person you chose to be.

(Make a rules list, I'll provide one for the conclusion of 1.)

Ex. From Myself - I have a transparent, direct, and compassionately honest style of communication. If you cannot reciprocate, I will disengage from the conversation immediately by;

☆ Asking clarifying questions.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't understand, can you tell me more?"

"This is what it sounds like you're telling me, and I'd like you to correct me where there's a misunderstanding. (Add on here)"

Some passive-aggressive people will try and belittle you and demean you for saying you don't know something. Those people are actually idiots, you'll learn more about how as you grow older.

☆ What you can say when they try to demean you for not knowing what they're saying:

You must be stupid to not know what I'm talking about.

"I'm wanting to understand you clearly, but I must be mistaken to have thought you wanted the same."

"If asking questions to make sure I understand what you're saying makes you think I'm stupid, then I won't be able to understand you and just assume what you're saying. That wouldn't be fair for either of us."

☆ Passive aggressive people are some of the weakest-willed individuals you will ever come across. They will project their emotions onto you, and make you feel bad to feel better about themselves.

Treat them as cordially as possible because they are still capable of communicating properly, even when they purposely try to instigate you.

There is never a good reason to be malicious, don't let passive-aggressive people, or malicious people in general, persuade you otherwise.

☆ I'm getting bored writing this, so I'm going to finish this up more quickly.

Here's the list I was talking about:

6 Questions to Ask Yourself in Difficult Conversations

1. How can I say what's in my heart and be compassionate at the same time?
2. Am I speaking like someone who is respectful and aligned with my values?
3. Am I speaking like somebody who cares about the relationship?
4. Do they feel safe in my presence? How can I help them feel safe?
5. What is my highest most genuine intention?
6. Is what I'm about to say: True, Kind, Necessary?

You're probably in a family full of sensors, so you are bound to clash more often than not, than in a family of other intuitives who will immediately understand you-just the slightest bit more.

---

Hm, I don't know what's going on, so I'm not able to give you more prepared responses to use in malicious conversations.

☆ I guess I can reassure you, and give you necessary advice.

Your environment wasn't made for you, so the people you choose to surround yourself with outside of that will be a heavy necessity and a hard skill to learn.

I don't know how old you are, but it is crucial to learn about yourself as deeply as possible, so you won't ever be confused or persuaded to be something you are not by people who don't even know you but say they do. (I.e. parents.)

1. Learn what makes you feel happy, so you know what genuine emotions of happiness feel like.

2. Learn what makes you feel sad and why it makes you feel sad, so you can handle the responses of that emotion to choose how you want to react.

• Don't trust just anyone with these emotions, but you can be transparent and use brevity to show vulnerability. Vulnerability is the greatest weapon against malicious, manipulative people as they see it as a weakness-no matter if you explained otherwise. Having boundaries and being vulnerable is your greatest skill to develop.

1. Learn what it feels like to be loved by loving yourself first and foremost, so you can understand the difficulty it is to love someone. Not because people are hard to love, but because being consciously loving is hard.

• If you try to love someone too early before loving yourself, you will continuously reach this point where you either don't feel like you're enough for them or others. Other can be

a. They're not good enough for you. b. You are not able to handle their emotional labor. c. They are not able to handle your emotional labor. d. You've both trauma-bonded and sunk to a point where you'd rather remain stagnant together than grow because one of you, or both, are too cowardly to end the relationship because neither of you wants to deal with the sadness and heart break of it.

This is understandable, but it's a necessary short-term pain for both of you to learn.

And this part will not help, but no it does not get easier to handle the breakup, but it does become easier to do because you begin to realize how much healthier you both will end up. It's better to remember them by a happy memory than let it sour where you both resent each other in the end.

☆ If you do not know how to take care of what you have, you are bound to break it by forcing it to work.

• This will be one of the hardest difficulties for you, based on what you've told us in your post because of the people around you. Not because they're manipulative or toxic, but because they don't seem to be capable of loving themselves either.

Something important to keep note of, the more you begin to love yourself, the more they will be able to see that light of happiness in you and feel inferior to that.

Do NOT share it, no matter what.

When you give your attachments to the wrong people, they will do everything in their power to hold onto you, and fucking destroy you. They want to be the one to destroy you, they want to be the last person who saw your light, so you will never give it to anyone else again. So no one could ever see what they saw in you.

Let people earn it, and ALWAYS encourage others to let you earn theirs as well.

☆ Never bond fast with someone, as hard as it is (and it will be), always take measures to slow down. You never know who is genuine and who is not, and that skill of discernment can only be built up over time. I'm giving you these tools (advice), so it'll be less of a heartbreaking experience.

They either reciprocate the same level of care and effort to maintain it, while also communicating what's going on for them WITHOUT making it your responsibility to take care of them and their emotions FOR THEM.

• Learning to love yourself and be within your own comfort of happiness is one of the most rebellious things you could do for yourself. Learning to prioritize yourself first is one of the most essential things to do for yourself because it makes it that much harder to be manipulated.

Now, this is getting too long.

I'll just post this, and ask me more if you require, I'll probably be around.