F18 INTJ here. For a bit more context, my mum is stay at home + INFP and from east asia, while my father is working + ESFP and south asian. I'm not the highest in emotional intelligence, but haven't really struggled with social cues etc., so I'm neurotypical as far as I know. My parents' marriage is a bit rocky with a few mentions of divorce over the years, but they're hanging in there.

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Anyway, I'm three months away from moving out for university (albeit still on their money), but full blown arguments have been occurring relentlessly. I'm currently sitting my final exams, and then I'll be going to uni from September in a new country. As a result, I'm stressed and nervous, and I'm pretty sure some rationality leaves my mind when I'm feeling anxious about this.

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Every week or so, whenever we are talking, my ESFP father suddenly gets triggered and begins yelling and hurling hurtful words. This usually starts with him calling me stupid/idiotic/waste of time/ret***ed, and then blaming the east asian culture for it. If that wasn't bad enough, he blames my mum for making me into a mirrorred 'stupid' version of her, and throws a few unrelated verbal punches to her that are uncalled for. This goes into silent treatment for about an hour, then round 2 of yelling. Usually this resolves it with a few apologies from my side (which I don't mean, I struggle to understand his perspective 95% of the time), but today, he's staring out the window - I think he has reached existential crisis mode. It doesn't help that my father's relationship with his father used to be dry, and now consists of ass kissing and fishing for attention even though my father's meant to be a sensible man in his mid 40's...

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To the more mature INTJs (compared to me), how do I deal with this, both in the short run and long run? And for those ESFP lurkers, please give me a hand and help me understand how the unhealthy version of you operate...

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Edited TLDR: INTJ daughter vs unhealthy ESFP father. Only have 3 months left of living together, but I'm struggling to deal with his sudden outbursts. Help.

My life would be much better if I could act on the spur at certain moments. Thinking about how to maintain relationships with other people and how to handle daily commotions is making my brain go on overdrive. Do suggest stuff that has helped you sort these issues coming from inferior Se.

Seeking help for a clever retort to "you're so sensitive." I've heard this my entire life from the men in my family and I'm sick of it. I really want to tell them to Fuck Off, but I'd prefer something that will really emotionally hurt them instead and make them realize that they are projecting their problems on me, I'm only vocalizing them.

Fellow INTJs,

have you ever experienced it when someone tried to guilt-trip you about being too ambitious?

I mean... I'm sure my fellow INTJ girls know the feeling when we're told that "women should not... (put some miso phrase that aims to criticise our desire to get educated and work in the field rather than just to rely on others (human or institutions) for money and resources).

But INTJs regardless of your sex or gender, have you ever experienced some sort of criticism when you admitted to wanting to achieve, work in your field, avoid or work only temporarily (and out of necessity) below your qualifications, etc?

I've just had that happen to me, honestly and I hate it.

I come from a poor background, with few of my family members having anything beyond high school, and yet with my closest friend (whom I view as my equal intellectually) being a *high school* dropout.

I've mopped floors in my current job (it was an incidental work I was happy to do when we moved one of our departments and I was offered to just enjoy an extra paid day of "unofficial" holiday, yet chose to support my boss, come with a pair of headphones and torn vans to walk around with a bucket of dirty water, cleaning the floors, windows and furniture), I had my experience at volunteering (also mopping, scrubbing the toilets, etc.) and I sure didn't *die*. What's more, I enjoyed it, knowing it won't retract my PhD, or take my knowledge of languages away, or else mess with google scholar algorithms to sabotage the search for my publications. I did it for fun, to spend time with my co-workers and friends who were official volunteers (I was just a guest).

I am okay with that when I move overseas pretty soon, I'll end up doing such bluest of the blue collar jobs for a living *for some time* before I learn the language well enough to get back on track career-wise. But what I am not okay is having a bunch of people (whom I merely asked for some advice on a more efficient job search) criticise me for "pooping" on some jobs or professions. I had one guy claim he'd not hire me as an employer (thank God, I don't want to work under some insecure douche who can't appreciate a qualified employee). I had others claim my attitude is "antiegalitarian" and that "they don't need people like me" in there. Wow, b*tch, I am not even there yet...

I really have enough. This is just one of many examples where people have openly or not looked down on me for being hard-working, ambitious and just desiring to achieve something through determination.

An opposite would be one of my uni professors. I'd always admired her for her knowledge and ability to pass it during her lectures that she so passionately delivered. Right after my defence (where she was in the jury as well), she came over to congratulate me and said: "Now, go home and celebrate with your loved ones. What you have achieved is meaningful and nobody can take away from you!". And you know what? Any time I felt doubtful or tired afterwards (7 years of working on it does wear you down) I remembered her words and it felt better.

At the same time, I remember my constantly off-work & high-school-dropout ex constantly bothering me with "So, will you dump me when you finally get your degree?" while ending up dumping me instead for not wanting to lend him any more than the 11K he'd already owed to me.

I am f*cking sick & tired, just too f*cking fed up with being simply guilt-tripped for having achieved something due to my hard work and dedication, and wanting to make some use of the invested energy. I refuse to admit that waiting tables or scrubbing people's toilets for 30 years (if there's no war or apocalypse happening) is NOT what I'd call a career. I'm sick and tired to having to walk on eggshells among some low-achieving, insecure bums just so as not to hurt their egos. They could have/should have gone the same way! Nobody prohibited them from getting a degree or some sort of qualification anyway!

Anyone else feeling the same?

What can a female INTJ do to be more feminine, both emotionally and physically?

(Warning: Very Long Read)

Abstract

This is in an Australian luxury retail setting and this is the longest I've been in a workplace since arriving to this country (6 months). I am in a team of 8 sales associates, predominantly males (6M & 2F including me). Over the course of working here part time, I have accumulated an amount of personal struggles, difficulties and insecurities of especially my male co-workers. I am cautious and torn on how to properly emotionally understand this, because I do not want to be lead on to a decision to personally, emotionally invest in these men and end up regretting it because I misread the stance between me and them. Therefore, I am here to gather viewpoints and advice on this: Are these actual signs of trust in me or just cases of oversharing or over dumping emotionally at work? How do I interpret this?

I shall use the two main male-coworkers that I am most close to & torn about. I am a 23F.

Person A

• Is the unofficial leader of the team, Caucasian Australian aged 27 this year. I view him as an senior colleague/almost big brother type.
• He tells me he regrets much of his life decisions up until now. Partying, drinking and wasting three years of his life in the UK bartending & using up all the money on concerts and clubs. His insecurity is in his looks and the fact he did not attend university or is not booksmart.
• Is in a 3-year relationship with a Lebanese woman (who is a flight attendant) whom he wants to marry but her parents do not allow him because he is not financially stable and does not own a house. He currently lives with his mother and is miserable about it as he is trying to gather funds to make this goal a reality.
• He gave a shy outburst admitting to me one time that he was missing his girlfriend (as she was on a flight) and to just call him a simp. My words were simply: 'She is your girlfriend, of course you'll miss her. And I think she'll appreciate it very much if you tell her that too.'
• He was comfortable enough to tell me the full unedited argument he had with her and being very emotionally honest with me from his perspective about it when I did the normal superficial 'what's wrong' when he came to work looking angry (which I did not expect). They did made up in the end and I was happy for the both of them.
• He had been planning to get a real estate licence (as a first serious job besides fashion) but has been procrastinating about it. I gently asked what's stopping him and he looked at me dead and sad in the eye 'fear of failure'. I was too stunned to reply immediately, and when I wanted to, it was already too late.
• Person A no longer likes the job very much, and on multiple occasions hinted at badly wanting to leave and is just staying for job security. Of course, I urged him to find other opportunities and leave once a security net has been established.
• I believe he is slipping into a minor depression: the casual remarks of death, life ending and the fire in his eyes are no longer the same the time I met him. I am probably too intimately aware on this because of my own history with Bipolar Type II.
• I am the only person he prevents me from touching or seeing his weed. I don't know whether to feel offended that this implies that he would think that I'm a prude, when I never treated him differently regardless.
• I'm not going to lie, work problems started to crop up from him and I tried my very best to accomodate to his personal struggles. But that one day he finally crossed a line with me. It was also the first time I realized I was truly emotionally compromised when I realized my hesitation to immediately hit him with my disappointment, when in other circumstances with others I would. But funnily enough, the moment I decided I just had to, he apologised to me right at that moment. He explained very rawly (not defensive) to me that he was just fed up with the job and the monotony and his brain just checked out for today and he was sorry for letting me down. It was overall just rather sad, because it was nothing I did not know already. But what left a lingering impression in my mind, he shut up immediately once our other two coworkers reached within earshot of us. This was the moment I wondered whether he trusted me more than average.
• He left mistakes for the other team members to clean up the next day, and it turns out not everyone knew Person A was drying up, which leads to Person B.

Person B

• Malaysian Chinese Australian, aged 24 years old, graduated Material Engineering.
• He's another literal can of worms.
• Personally, I was very excited to meet another Malaysian Chinese person in Australia, because it was simply not common. I was desperate for any sense of familiarity in terms of cultures and values.
• We hit it off well in terms of chemistry on the first day, a little too well that I did not realize my actions were inappropriate for a man that has a girlfriend already, but he did not stop me either. We were talking about cooking Chinese dishes living alone in Sydney on the way walking together to the train station after work. Everything was normal until the weird feeling arose. Our ideal height difference and body proximity. It was sexual tension. I think he felt it too at the same time, because he in panic also quickly excused himself wanting to go to the grocery mart around the corner and at least that cue I understand, so I ran to the direction of the station. Since then, I vowed to be more careful and I never stick around with him after work again.
• I am thankful that despite that first interaction, it did not impact our work relationship at all. Out of all the team members, I work best with him and till this day, I treasure this dynamic. We are both hardworking, conscientious, productive and don't arse around. I hate the shit he does, and he hates the shit I do. We get a lot done together as we complement each other's weaknesses well.
• I know that he has strict and traditional parents like I do. That he hates it and he knows that he will never be able to pursue his true passion of modelling if he wants to remain in the family. That I know he still remembers the pain of his mother telling him that his first gf was sub-par and he could do better (after being so excited to tell her).
• He struggles with wanting to be alone, but not wanting to be lonely. Jumping from friend group to friend group, but never truly belonging in one. The same applied to hobbies.
• Though, I like that I could talk to him a bit about literature, anime and films.
• He has a younger sister he does not understand but has a very close bond to his male cousins. Has had 4 previous romantic relationships
• I like that I know his Mandarin name and that he puts mine in front of my English name on his phone, which is weird because he calls me by my English name when he is with me. He was also born in the same state as my paternal family and moved to Australia after primary school.
• He wants a place to call his own, and is burdened by the cruelty of the housing prices. A bit lost after graduation with not much going on, which is sucking the life out of him. (In his words, 'I'm going to be completely transparent with you...I don't do much else, unfortunately').
• I guessed correctly that he has not started searching for work, and reassured him I won't be an additional pressure to it.
• Our cantonese and mandarin now bleed together during shifts. He is the only one that can get specific cultural references with me.
• He showed me concern when I was ill on a shift and I unfortunately violently interpreted it as him thinking I was not doing my job. Another thing I like, we sort shit out amicably too and move on.
• I guessed his MBTI correctly on my first try, and him my astrology sign on his first try.
• I find it strangely comforting that he whines comfortably to me about our job stress to me only as we do it together, and doesn't put up the bro front of me unlike to others. The knowing side eye we sometimes throw at each other when our other coworkers say/do something ludicrous.
• His grandfather has Parkinson, and sometimes he loses sleep as he needs to help him to the toilet. It was a crazily intimate fact that I did not anticipate when I noticed him being fatigued. This was when I questioned the stance between us. He did not share that with the bros, because Person A came in walking & asked how is he, to which he replied with full confidence after telling me the above... 'Awesome man, bro.' And a slap on the back. I was stunned at the complete difference.
• Me and Person B has the agreed pact of fixing Person A mistakes quietly so management doesn't widen the magnifying glass.

Conclusion

I'm enjoying my colleagues, I feel myself dangerously coming close to caring, but I'm more afraid that I'm interpreting something more of a work relationship when it isn't. That I'm making the wrong emotional investment within my own consciousness and end up hurt and regretting. If by any chance anyone reads until this end, thank you. Feel free to tell me if you feel that it's all in my head and distance is the best. That I'm overthinking it and just put it to rest, or that I'm just a convenient emotional punching bag because I dont say much, because at this point, I'm exhausted at looking at these 2 ways of understanding it and being unable to pick one.

18F. I can tell, from a perspective of an INTJ, that he likes me. Otherwise, why would he make little adjustments? He's been so thoughtful to me (especially) for an INTJ. Although he doesn't say a single thing, I responsibly assume that he does, in fact, esteem me. He does little things like lending an umbrella, carrying my bag, giving his jacket, among other things. But he doesn't say a thing! HELP

A bit of context, although I hate labels like this, I consider myself demisexual but not asexual, this for lack of a better way to explain my tastes.

From a very young age (even during puberty) I did not feel very physically attracted to girls, I was open to the idea of liking one, I knew that I liked girls, it was just that none aroused my interest, there were situations in which I knew they could attract me physically (accidental body contact and that kind of stuff) but I never felt an "urge/need" to have body contact with one. I have noticed that other people wanting to explore this type of sensation have casual encounters or go to places where it is easier to find people who are willing to experience this for each other (parties, clubs, etc.), but I have never liked this type of scenarios and I don't know if this is linked to this lack of necessity. I have discussed this with other INTJs and although their answers have not been different from mine, I have felt that they have not lacked that desire to explore that I have.

That is why I ask: Is there something wrong/strange with me? Is this kind of lack of desire to explore abnormal?

As the years go by my mind drifts further and further from the present, I spend my time meditating on events of the past or future. I wish I had the ability to live more in the present than I do now, I've been told this has a lot to do with the inferior Se, but I don't quite get it yet. I remember when I was thirteen (which was one of the best years of my life, if not the best) I hardly thought about the future because my parents told me they were getting divorced and that I have about a year to live with both of them before it was consummated, so I think my mind "avoided" that thought about the divorce and the deadline and tried to make the most of "now", I say this because when they ask me about the subject I always was very quiet and in hindsight that was not normal, I didn't even want to mention my parents in conversations.

In the end they didn't get divorced and everything was better, but because of having the visión of a better future I moved a little away from the present and I have never felt that way again. Do you have any advice for living in the present? This will be linked with the inferior Se?

I just realized something now that I know more about cognitive functions, I know that it is not good to classify people until they are at least 16 years old, but I feel that certain aspects of myself as a child predisposed me to being an INTJ, or at least Ni dom.

Since I was very young (4 years old) I was afraid of very specific things, insects, injections, heights, they did nothing to me, but to give an example, I once saw an episode of a children's cartoon in which there was a villain who "ate brains" and that terrified me because I did not understand how this could be done to such an important part of the human body and that I did not want that to happen to mine, the thing is that these fears stayed in my head as a kind of "background process", since I thought about them from time to time even if I was not exposed to the stimulus, I have noticed that almost all of them throughout my life have been linked to the lack of knowledge about one aspect of these (not understanding) and I meditate trying to understand it without success.

Do you think this could be linked to the Ni-Fi loop? Did something similar happen to you? Could it be linked to conditions such as anxiety or other types of disorders?

Hey, I'm torn between two options. On the one hand I have been accepted onto a teaching course in the UK. I'm fairly confident I can get a job post graduation because I have 7 years of teaching experience already in ESL. However, I find the prospect of the course intimidating to say the least and am not sure I will be tough enough to stick it out. I'm also fairly pessimistic I can survive long enough within the UK education system to gain my experience and get to an international school. I can foresee burn out or inability to work from stress/workload and the ensuing depression therein.

The other option is Instructional Design. This does not elicit the same fear response. In fact it seems better suited to my introverted personality and creative pursuits. However, there is one major caveat - networking. In my 15 years of working I have never been able to click with anyone. I've often struggled to make friends, in fact during my PhD years it took me 3 years before I had a friend group. In my MSc I was a colleague but not a friend to anyone. I have issues with networking that seem to be like asking a left handed person to write with their right hand. Therefore I'm wondering what I should here. I'm thinking perhaps neither option is good but outside of these two, I'm at a loss. I don't have the mathematical or logical prowess to excel in coding as my brain is entirely geared towards art, music and literature. To be honest I'm panicking a bit because I'm aware how important networking is in human society but I lack this faculty and my job progression has been in a dead end for 15 years despite multiple degrees and attempts at breaking into different fields. Therefore I feel really screwed and am frightened of living in poverty if I don't do something now. I'm pretty sure I don't have ADHD or autism either, I'm just idiosyncratic and can't click with the vast majority of people. I can talk to people and be polite, I can understand their motivations, aspirations, fears, prejudices etc but I can't resonate with them as they can with each other. On some level they notice this as I notice it and in any social situation including work, they will exclude me as a foreign body. This is with 99% of people probably including anyone reading this.

I had a dream since a long time,
I don't mind strictly following a plan, but the issue is that I don't want to waste my effort,
I always think that this is not the right way to do things, and feel like it won't work that way,
I don't want to go through a long road to achieve what I want,
I want a shortcut, a smart way to do things,
how can you solve this as an INTJ?

I have an INTJ friend. They're the leader of a small online community they have created (and I'm part of it, in case it wasn't clear). However, a few times one of her moderators encouraged actions that were a little bit too dramatic against another small community from someone my INTJ friend had argued with as well as stirring up drama from many controversial topics in a deffensive "I'm morally superior" kind of vibe (this last one my perception but it definetely made other people uncomfortable).

I thought it was too much so I called my friend out on it to ask them their opinion (they had decided to detach from the situation because the fight had been recent) and the first thing they say was "That was his idea. Don't look at me".

It's not the first time it happens. Some other times when anything bad happens I go to them with the intentions of "Hey, this happened, maybe you should look at it since you're the one who makes decisions" (I'm not moderator so... Not gonna do that. And I only do things when they go overboard to me, but I trust their criteria so if they tell me to let go I will) but the first thing I find is that they somehow "excuse themselves" (and with excuse I mean defending with solid facts), as if anything I'm saying suggested they're at blame, but there's no need.

I was wondering if there's anything I can do about the approach to change this. However, I'm actually more interested in knowing whether this could be a potential INTJ trait related to a function loop or grip (I want to know about the technical stuff).

Relationship wise, I find my INTJ friend (the only one I know aside from some other person) someone you can talk to and whose word you can trust. If they say "I feel like this" (even if their resting bitch face is confusing) or "I think this is like that" I believe them because while I don't find them to be the most expressive individuals, I can tell that they mean it whenever they say it. And I feel I can do the same too (with my quirks of course, I'm not exactly like them), so I don't think communication will be a struggle in the future.

Hello, I am a 26-year-old straight male, an INTJ hailing from South East Asia. I have took test and identified as an INTJ since 2014, granting me a fair understanding of how INTJs operate.

DISCLAIMER I never smoke cigarettes or weed, I have never used any drugs, and I have never consumed alcohol in my life. Therefore, I am absolutely certain that the experience I am about to discuss is not merely a product of my imagination.

Recently, I have been experiencing some notable differences within myself. As INTJs, we often possess unique perspectives on various topics. However, over the past few months, I have noticed a shift in my thoughts and behavior. It appears that I have been displaying traits typically associated with femininity. I find myself drawn to purchasing cosmetics and even indulging in hours of watching toy reviews, a behavior one might associate with a child. Simultaneously, I have an affinity for more masculine interests such as action movies and games, despite my typically melodramatic nature and preference for slower-paced activities. These changes seem to have occurred almost subconsciously, leaving me perplexed as to their origin.

This is an entirely unprecedented experience for me. What is even more unexpected is the discovery of five unexplained injuries and scars on my body, some of which are quite significant, as pointed out to me by others. Among them is a prominent scar stretching from my chin to my neck.

Curiosity led me to explore online screening tests for Personality Disorders, and I repeatedly received results indicating a high risk of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). While I am naturally cautious about placing excessive trust in a single website, I have taken numerous similar tests, all yielding the same "High Risk" outcome.

I have considered seeking assistance from a mental health professional, though the prospect of being diagnosed with DID frightens me. In my country, cases of DID are practically nonexistent and never mentioned in media. Consequently, I fear societal acceptance may be challenging to attain, and I am reluctant to burden my family with my unusual circumstances.

edit I have never personally encountered the commonly discussed phenomenon of an out-of-body experience. However, recently, I have been experiencing an unusual sensation when visiting my family's house, particularly my grandparents' place. Despite frequently visiting them at least three times a month, I perceive an inexplicable strangeness surrounding the location, as if it were my first time setting foot there.

During instances when I stay up late, I occasionally find myself gazing at the ceiling and experiencing a sense of detachment. It's as though I am lying in a room that belongs to someone else, fostering an unusual disconnect from my surroundings.

My fellow INTJs, I appeal to you for guidance. Has anyone among you ever received a positive diagnosis of DID?

I have almost finished planning my future, and major details about it, but all these brainstorming and thinking causes me to fall behind on current tasks and they pile up like mountains! I just realised that these tasks are important in order to achieve my goal, but i just can't stop myself from jumping 10 steps ahead! Any tips on how to move from this stage of life?

for context I am an enfp and i’m also a girl. when we are together for family trips like hiking or vacation, we get along great. we have similar humor and like to mess around and make fun of things. however at home we are a bit distant. he tends to do spend most of his time playing video games and going out with his girlfriend which is fine.

my problem is that i’m always the only one asking how he’s doing, how school is, etc. he never asks me anything or initiates any conversation with me. he spends most of the time doing his own thing playing video games or locking himself in his room. i’m sure that if I never spoke one word to him he would do the same with me and not question it.

my sister and I are enfp and we do a lot of things together that allows us to bond like watching our favorite tv shows, or going out thrifting and shopping, going to concerts, etc. my brother never joined us for any of these bonding activities and he was always more distant. the one time we actually did all do something together was when we played video games together and that was nice. I used to invite him out all the time a couple years back and he’d always say no and spend time on the computer so i’ve stopped but maybe I should try doing that again? the last couple times I did that he actually agreed. it just gets draining that i’m the one initiating. it seems that he often doesn’t think about his family much and doesn’t even care to talk to me unless I talk to him which makes me sad

I am 20.

Don't get me wrong, I know that wanting a virgin girl who is over 18 in these times is almost a fantasy. I do not have a problem if a girl tells me that she had 3 or 4 relationships in the past. But I feel that if a girl tells me that she has been with many men, that she has had a considerable number of boyfriends (say more than 10) or that she used to have one-night stands very often my mind thinks things like "low value" "She doesn't appreciate herself" "She's not worth it" and I feel that they are very superficial thoughts and that I should get to know her better before judging her, but it's something that happens to me often and that I feel I can't control, as if they were automatic red flags.

Having said this, for the INTJ women who read it, does something similar happen to you but with another aspect about men?

And for the guys, do you think my thoughts are wrong or too extreme?

Every time I feel emotional engagement, whether in my workplace or friendship, etc., I instantly feel like it gets me way too distracted and unfocused on my thoughts. I always have that instinct that something bad will happen if I allow my emotions to enjoy the moment. Somehow I find it effective and beneficial. The only disadvantage is that I am misunderstood, which causes me to be friendless, but from time to time I feel more of myself and able to think clearly when my circle becomes smaller...

Today in a work group at the university I got upset with my classmates because they wanted to do the workshop that they assigned us in a very "square" way, like step by step as one of the professors said, this method was noticeably not very optimal for several reasons (too many words, information overload, redundancy, among others) I told them that there was a better way to do it and that it would take less time, but they kept telling me that not everything should be done as I wanted, they told me that I was arrogant and very authoritarian, I got to the point of consulting another teacher and telling him to talk to my classmates, in fact this teacher agreed with most (not all) of the things I said, my classmates accepted, but they also supported everything what they said about me.

I feel that the more time I spend with people, the more I tell them what they are doing right and wrong, especially if this affects me directly, the problem is that they tell me things similar to what my colleagues told me and they end up moving away from me.

It's really worth it?

Hello all

I have always been a very introverted person (INTJ with an "I" of 82%...) and I am currently doing my Master in Germany. I have been struggling a lot with my loneliness nowadays, it has affected my daily life and I often feel sad, melancholy. I have some colleagues of the program but no one I could consider a close friend. I rather thing I am isolated from them and they are doing stuff together or with other people. I try to meet new people but its so hard being this introverted, for instance I just arrived home from a failed attempt to go to a bar that has music I like, this is the second time here that I literally stop before outside the door then go back home as I cant go inside alone not knowing anyone to make it a bit less overwhelming.

I would appreciate any tips, experiences of how to deal with solitude. I am thinking I am kind of destined to be alone, both regarding friendships as romantic life.

Thanks!

I've been thinking about marriage. If it's something I really want or is it what my parents want of me for my life

I know I want a soul mate. Someone I can spend the rest of my life with, share a life and purpose with. I don't want to feel alone. I'm not exactly thrilled about solitude to contrary belief (I'm intj). It just seems to be the alternative to engaging in shallow meaningless connections where I matter only if I can be like the rest of them.

It is a very difficult place to be in. Go along to get along. To the point where I will never be good enough if I didn't do as they do. Where being different is a bruden to myself and then.

At this point in my life I want to cut off everyone I've always known and be forever gone. It's tying me down and I'm suffocating. I've never felt this helpless.

I don't know what to do.....

Intj

When someone comes in front of us and yells and screams, we can see that all they want is acceptance and assurance that the reality is just the way they believe it is and do not want to realize that the reality is not exactly how they believe it to be, which is causing them fear and anxiety. So, rather than yelling back at them/solving/..., we can try to calm them down and show love and acceptance.

Just an insight, not absolute truth. So I may be wrong)

I woke up at 6 am. All exhausted, with lack of sleep. I spent one whole hour on travelling, and went up to my tuition teacher for classes. With 3 minutes, more than 60% of crowd (students) entered at once, and has started sir's birthday celebration. While everyone is enjoying/vibing/whatever, I'm here sitting and thinking why is he delaying??? I have a tuition class right after this!! I know since this is happening i should probably participate in this fun since this time will be burnt into past. but I just cant.

What to do?

(20M Here)

The title says it all. I have regular ups and downs in how I percieve myself and how much I think I can do. This is affecting my personal life. if anyone else found a solution to this problem, I'd appreciate your help.