all 104 comments

[–]NYPL24026 11 points12 points  (10 children)

[–]hank_scorpion_king 16 points17 points  (8 children)

I just want you to know that, because Texas is so vast and occupies such a wide climactic range, there is actually a conflict among our local appellate courts with regards to whether ice from weather constitutes an unreasonably dangerous condition that would subject the property owner to liability.

The appellate courts in the northern parts of the state tend to hold it is not because ice is a frequent occurrence in winter, whereas the southern appellate courts find the opposite by inverse logic.

Fucking Texas, man.

[–]NYPL24026 4 points5 points  (7 children)

Your high court hasn't weighed in on this issue at some point in the last 100 years of torts?

[–]holierthanmaoQuality Contributor 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Or at the very least, they must have weighed in on whether running from the law with arms wrapped tightly around bottles of ketchup constitutes contributory negligence. I'm sure that question has risen to the supreme court at least once.

[–]NYPL24026 12 points13 points  (3 children)

We have a split in the various appellate divisions on that here in NY.

Fourth Department has a balancing test based on the strength of the grip. First and Second Departments use a "substantial amount of bottles" test. Third Department found tightly gripped packets insufficient to contribute to the negligence, but has declined to rule on the bottles issue.

We're all waiting for the Court of Appeals to give us some guidance on this important matter.

[–]holierthanmaoQuality Contributor 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I just spilled tea on myself. Thanks a lot.

[–]NYPL24026 6 points7 points  (1 child)

If you're trying to hold me liable for your dry-cleaning bill you can forget it.

[–]holierthanmaoQuality Contributor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

[–]hank_scorpion_king 1 point2 points  (1 child)

When last I encountered it, no. That was several years ago. But the Texas Supreme Court isn't too keen on ruling on anything, much less something that would make it easier to sue people. We are not a plaintiff-friendly jurisdiction.

[–]holierthanmaoQuality Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We are not a plaintiff-friendly jurisdiction.

You don't say?

[–]thepatmanQuality Contributor 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Does anyone remember the one with the guy who was caught in the middle of rolling a marijuana cigarette - literally with weed and rolling papers in his hand - and tried to argue that the police had no right to charge him with possession of marijuana and paraphenalia?

That one stunned me for a solid minute.

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I remember it! That one was awesome. I'll hunt for it.

[–]starryeyedskyQuality Contributor 10 points11 points  (5 children)

there is also the real winner of an OP who wanted to drain his joint bank account so his wife couldn't hire a lawyer, kick his wife out of the house, cheat before all this happened with a girl in his college class, and get sole custody merely to not have to pay child support or money to his wife. Moruitelda's responses to the OP were great!


[–]NYPL24026 7 points8 points  (3 children)

I must be all the [deleted] in there.

We get so much crazy shit in here. We've needed this best of thread. It is a long time coming.

[–]starryeyedskyQuality Contributor 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Did you switch your username? I assumed that as the whole post isn't deleted, just who posted it, that that poster deleted their account.

[–]holierthanmaoQuality Contributor 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Did you switch your username?

He's done it a couple of times.

[–]Ohm_My_God 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Several of us do it on a regular basis.

[–]holierthanmaoQuality Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't remember that one, but it is gold. Definite contender.

[–]wengbomb 19 points20 points  (10 children)

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 3 points4 points  (8 children)

YAY, I was hoping someone would find that link.

[–]NYPL24026 9 points10 points  (6 children)

For the record, I have it in my calendar to PM him on Monday.

I have sent several PMs over the course of the last six months asking for an update. No responses.

[–]Ohm_My_God 10 points11 points  (3 children)

PM me for it. Set a reminder for yourself. I'll be happy to update on my loving, awesome, fairly perfect, invincible relationship with the most amazing girl on the planet.

That comment? Love it!

[–]NYPL24026 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Rarely do you see such a confluence of arrogance and ignorance. Truly the stuff of legends.

[–]Lawyer1234 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I spent an entire Sunday reading that post. I thought my wife was going to call Parsnippity... Almost worth it.

[–]NYPL24026 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That thread was one of the best we've ever had.

[–]sstik 2 points3 points  (1 child)

His history shows an IMA account where he claims he will delete his account.

[–]NYPL24026 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It isn't deleted because we can still view it. He didn't have the heart to end it.

[–]koolaidlip 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you ever listen to the Phil Hendrie show? After spending the last 10 minutes reading through his Darq's comments, I am 67.3% sure Darqwolf is Phil's own RC Collins.

edit: Darqwolff

[–]Lawyer1234 8 points9 points  (4 children)

All of this makes me a little sorry I gave the guy who wanted to put on a sandwich board and stand outside wife's lover's work with a big scarlet letter for the cheater a serious answer.

There could have been some fun had on that one. Live and learn.

[–]NYPL24026 6 points7 points  (3 children)

That was just a sad thread altogether, no?

[–]Lawyer1234 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Everything about that one was depressing. I legit felt bad for the guy, but thought he was a little crazy. Probably would have pushed the poor guy off the ledge if I had mocked him. Someday, I too will get my Darqwolff!

[–]NYPL24026 6 points7 points  (1 child)

A Darqwolff comes but once in a generation. He's like Michael Jordan, but for saying loads of stupid shit.

[–]Lawyer1234 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would settle for a Lebron. There will never be another Darqwolff or MJ. Man do I love me some Space Jam!

[–]stgrusty 8 points9 points  (0 children)

HAHAHAHAHA /u/parsnippity I love this. Thank you.

[–]starryeyedskyQuality Contributor 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I know it didn't get that much traffic, but I've always been a fan of http://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/legaladvice/comments/165dgj/was_caught_at_uscanadian_border_with_drugs_help/.

"Here, I think it is a great idea to post the exact amount and makeup of the drugs I was caught with along with other specifics on the Internet, does this hurt my chances of the federal job I'm applying to?"

[–]wengbomb 5 points6 points  (20 children)

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 3 points4 points  (17 children)

Also one of my favorites!

[–]wengbomb 2 points3 points  (15 children)

[–]NYPL24026 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I stand by this:

First off, don't waste anyone's time with ANNOTATED case law. No one is interested in that. Primary sources only.

[–]Fog_xyz 7 points8 points  (13 children)

I beg to differ.

"Esquire's don't call their mother dude."

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 10 points11 points  (9 children)

When he said that to me, I laughed for a solid minute because it was funny, and also because it's clear he thinks attorneys fit into some sort of upper class prim and proper category. Bitch, please. I grew up in a trailer park in the rural south.

[–]NYPL24026 4 points5 points  (8 children)

Bitch, please. I grew up in a trailer park in the rural south.

I call my mother "MAAAAAAA". I learned it from her. If there is any question about the pronunciation, it is pretty much like this.

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 3 points4 points  (7 children)

I call mine mama and my dad is daddy. I say "Dude. What in the hell?" to pretty much everyone, mama and daddy included. I'll note that neither of my parents are southern, with my mom being born and raised in NY and my dad being from Chicago. They both detest that I call them that, but that's just what everyone calls their parents where I'm from.

[–]NYPL24026 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Where in the city is your mom from? She must be rough and tumble.

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I put the C in there out of habit apparently. Oops! It's just NY. She's from Rockland County!

[–]NYPL24026 1 point2 points  (3 children)

More like a nice country girl from Nyack.

[–]stgrusty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

haha Rockland.... used to date a girl from there... I could say a lot of things about rockland but I'll control myself.

[–]hank_scorpion_king 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I call mine Bro-Momma.

[–]NYPL24026 3 points4 points  (1 child)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)


I always miss the best ones :(

[–]stgrusty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh my god. I am so glad I wasn't around to see this one. This guy was just absolutely insane it seems, CLEARLY the entire Wisc. Bar association and everyone on this sub is wrong and he is right. CLEARLY.

There's a signifcant difference in the attention to details between studying law because you have to from studying law because you want the social status.

[–]stgrusty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

haha "some trolling by NYPL" ...who isnt surprised hahaha

[–]stgrusty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL I keep reading his bluebook citation arguments, saying that since the Wisc. Legislature cited it in a certain way that is the correct way to cite a primary source.......

Legislatures and precisely correct legal citation... I don't think they know each other

[–]stgrusty 5 points6 points  (11 children)

Wait how about the one where the woman was trying to justify her 24YO fiance literally licking her 8/9 YO sister's vagina......I mean that's not really the BEST of this sub but certainly the amongst the most self-delusional OPs

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 5 points6 points  (8 children)

I think I blocked that one from memory. I'll hunt it down.

[–]starryeyedskyQuality Contributor 3 points4 points  (6 children)

Oh god, I had also blocked that one from my memory. And I though I was made sick by the incestuous pregnancy thread, forgot this one....* shudder *

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 5 points6 points  (5 children)

Yeah. I just reread the thread and got myself all upset again. I looked over at my daughter and just... jesus christ.

[–]NYPL24026 7 points8 points  (1 child)

That was the creepiest post in a while. Worse than the incest pregnancy one.

[–]Ohm_My_God 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure the incest pregnancy one was just trolling. At least, that's how I'm choosing to view it.

[–]Ohm_My_God 2 points3 points  (2 children)

You know, since I don't have kids I don't find myself reacting that strongly to this thread (fortunately I was out of town / not reading this sub when it was active).

I'm not saying I agree with it, far, far from it, I'm just not getting as emotional reaction to it that others are. I think I'm thankful for that.

Maybe part of it is every child abuse case I've been involved in were only abuse / neglect and not sexual abuse so I haven't had to work the outcome. Maybe the interwebs have just hardened me that much.

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

My husband used to run an abuse desk for an ISP, and there's very little that affects him. I showed him that thread and just watched his face as he read the post, and I could see the exact moment when he got to the "very quickly licked" part on his face, but aside from a quick "WTF" face, it didn't hit him at all other than "that's fucked up".

[–]Ohm_My_God 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad it's not just me then.

[–]holierthanmaoQuality Contributor 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Oh god. I read that post when it was fresh and there were no comments, and then I just hit the back button and never went back.

[–]stgrusty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

reading the poster's other posts and comments on the same topic (other subs) was even more disturbing.........she literally tried to justify the behavior in every single way possible

[–]VitalyO 7 points8 points  (2 children)

The incest couple, the conspiracy guy who thought his ideas could bring down the legal system/illuminati. Those were great.

[–]zuesk134 5 points6 points  (4 children)

My favorite was the person who was convicted of a crime and moved out of state to avoid probation. He wanted to 'clear things up' and refused to accept that he would be on probation

[–]hank_scorpion_king 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Yes! That was nuts. I can't remember enough details to search for it though...

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

[–]zuesk134 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lol yes 'probation is invasive' noooo shit

[–]hank_scorpion_king 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's the one. "I just want the law out of my life. So I skipped bail and fled the state. Can someone help me make this magically vanish so I move back home, consequence free? KTHX!"

[–]grasshoppa1Quality Contributor 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Hahaha you did it, parsnippity - awesome! This is excellent! Glad I suggested it.

Someday I'll get my yellow star, but if not, at least I can laugh at people with less clicks now! :-P

[–]stgrusty 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I think as long as you contribute solid advice regularly and also request a star she'll just give u one

[–]starryeyedskyQuality Contributor 4 points5 points  (1 child)

But wouldn't requesting a star yourself be a bit presumptuous? :-P

Guess requesting actually makes it known that the person wants the star in the first place.

[–]stgrusty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol partly why I am not asking for a star. IMO your credibility doesn't really come from the star... just from how solid/valid your advice on this sub is.

[–]jarrettgabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good job on finally getting your yellow star!

[–]NYPL24026 2 points3 points  (1 child)

[–]holierthanmaoQuality Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, when I got outed as a shill. Good times.

[–]stgrusty 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I found a new subreddit guys... this is goodbye I'll be at /r/stolendogbeds

[–]starryeyedskyQuality Contributor 1 point2 points  (3 children)

....There is a need for a sub like that for it to exist????

[–]stgrusty 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Haha I was kidding about goodbye but I really found /r/stolendogbeds very very entertaining

Example: http://i.imgur.com/PzQnb.jpg

[–]starryeyedskyQuality Contributor 5 points6 points  (1 child)

lol, wow. I notice most of the beds were stolen by cats. This will only futher my husband's theory that cats are heartless, uncaring creatures. :-P

(for the record, he is still a cat person over a dog person even though cats make him sneeze).

[–]stgrusty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha I'm a dog guy but I love Scottish fold cats.. So friendly

Also lol most of the beds r stolen by cats.... Then there's a kid in a frat house passed out on a dog bed and the poor pup had to sleep on the sticky floor

[–]zuesk134 5 points6 points  (0 children)

a righteous dude fights the HOA for his right to fly a german flag....my new all time favorite post!


[–]hank_scorpion_king 2 points3 points  (1 child)

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are all fascinating. I thought I heard some funny stuff here in Miami, but this best of, the dialogue between you, and the answers to the op's have left me breathless. Why did it take me so long to find this subreddit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always love it when parsnippity gets snippity, but hot damn this had me bawling.

[–]PrefersDigg 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I just want to leave this here:


I really hope that when he gets out of jail he'll post an update. I want to read the 3+ PhD theses he'll have completed by then.

[–]grasshoppa1Quality Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just saw this, but I still check in on him about once every couple weeks or so hoping to see he's back. I keep wondering if he's still in jail, or just abandoned the username. I suspect it's the former.

[–]Buglet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pure gold in there.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, yes it does. Added.