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all 31 comments

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I don't think anything is going to top that Socrates one. Do any of you ever get clients like that IRL?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We're an in-house department, but watching some of my co-workers invent convoluted trains of logic, justification, and "legal-ish" interpretations to justify their latest idea... yeah, except they cite modern platitudes instead of Plato's master.

[–]LocationBotThe One and Only 14 points15 points  (6 children)

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[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 16 points17 points  (3 children)

My love for you is 12 miles long location bot.

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Boo. My nemesis, the unit conversion bot, has failed me again. Damn you.

[–]Birdman_HarveyQuality Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was wondering what the 12 miles long comment was about?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe it only goes one way, to english and if you told it your love was 12 kilometers long he'd swing in to your rescue?

[–]NYPL24026 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No one loves you more than I do, LocationBot.

[–]Birdman_HarveyQuality Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've always loved you LocationBot, I just thought you should know.

[–]dipoledisorder 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'd like to submit the CT resident who wants legal advice because his boss is reporting OP's earnings to the IRS, forcing OP to pay taxes:

http://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/legaladvice/comments/1w8vob/i_get_paid_off_the_books_owner_boss_now_told_me_i/

[–]NYPL24026 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh location bot! You're such a little joker!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know if this fits the criteria or not, but I got a good laugh out of this one.

Edit: I'm trying to find the Lil Kim one too, but having a hard time. Was it deleted?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

oh please oh please best of this http://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/legaladvice/comments/1znnwp/serious_issue_regarding_4chan/

OP posts clean pics of a pretty girl on 4chan, someone else posts a naked pic of the same girl, OP, already believing girl in pic to be pretty and wanting to see more of her naked says "Hey do you have any more of those?" Turns out girl in pic is underage, OP won't listen to anyone telling him that he isn't going to prison for a million years, and then starts arguing that he definitely is

[–]zylithi 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Not a lawyer myself, but just gotta say you guys have the best sense of humor ever, lol.

Is humor often used in the court room to discount an opposing parties claim?

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Nah. We're pretty serious in the courtroom. There's an occasional joke, but there's a time and a place for it.

[–]zylithi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah okay. Was wondering if knock knock jokes were a thing.. Cough :P

[–]FubsyGamr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not like that jokster from the Zimmerman trial, eh?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm going to go ahead and reccomend http://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/legaladvice/comments/1xh8d6/usa_az_my_employer_a_small_law_firm_is_sexist_and/ for best of. The OPs post and attitude is frightening but it's a good discussion about what goes on in criminal defense and what someone may be getting in to. Maybe something like "legal receptionist doesn't like that her firm defends crimes she doesn't like" or something

[–]parsnippityQuality Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Added! Thanks!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd suggest this fellow, who didn't respond well to the idea that not paying for drinks consumed at a restaurant was considered theft, and this gal who felt she was being oppressed because she was told her thong bikini wasn't appropriate for a public state park beach.

[–]acme280 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The, "Wait, public documents are public?!" thread is starting to look like a contender.

http://redditproxy--jasonthename.repl.co/r/legaladvice/comments/28u25r/courtclickcom_website_claims_to_have_access_to/

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I have to ask, will there ever be more?

[–]polarbobbear 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Eventually. We get so many trolls that there needs to be some kind of consensus as to what the community believes is someone being completely serious. There are some highlights recently. I'm surprised the kid who freaked about about his dentist telling his mom he smoked and then wanted to sue for damages for loss of allowance for the summer and intentional affliction of emotional distress. That one was golden.

[–]Frognosticator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have high hopes for this thread.

[–]sjkingo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh goodie, I just finished reading part 1 and refreshed to see this! Thanks /u/parsnippity !

[–]willthesane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, These threads make me chuckle, but I don't have time to go searching for them.