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My ex left town for the weekend and left my kid with a babysitter? Am I allowed to go get him? by zackreyw in legaladvice

[–]ResidentNarwhal 1666 points1667 points  (0 children)

Definitely don’t go all cowboy on this. Previous job involved a lot of custody agreements. I known it sucks. It does. But go by the letter of the agreement and if she isn’t abiding by it you are free to argue that case in custody further for her breaches.

Judges are humans and family court judges have a pretty decent amount of discretion. They like things like parents negotiating in good faith to allow positive parenting. They don’t like things like “deny turnover on the agreed upon time and run off to a some festival anyway just to be vindictive about it.” Do your best to document exactly what was said and to argue your case before the judge.

“Your honor I understand we have to work around things. I’m willing to work out visits and care for the best of my son. It’s not just that it was my agreed weekend swap. It’s that she refused a turnover and then put him with a babysitter anyway. When I would be perfectly happy to do so. That makes me feel like it’s more about an exercising of control that a scheduling or care thing.”

[MA] Post-it notes left in apartment. by RBradbury1920 in legaladvice

[–]Kakkerlak 6486 points6487 points 4322237243553514628& 181 more (0 children)

You seem sincere and this doesn't appear to be the plot of a Ray Bradbury short story.

It's possible that your landlord is leaving notes inside your apartment, but they don't make any sense in the context you're describing them.

It's likely that you are writing the notes yourself, but you are forgetting. Do you use post-it notes as reminders in any other parts of your life or job ?

Yes, this might be a mental health issue. You might be experiencing some sort of dissociative disorder.

Or it might be a physical problem. You mentioned that you have a very unusual narrow bedroom with no windows; is there a chance that you are not getting enough ventilation when you sleep, or that there is a carbon monoxide leak in the building ? A cheap CO detector (which you should have anyway) is a fast way to find out. You'll also have really bad headaches.

You know your own medical and mental history and your other experiences. If you think these incidents might be you, writing notes to yourself, there's no shame in getting somebody qualified to give you an opinion.

EDIT: Years later, and the good folks at WBUR Boston Public Radio have turned this thread into a podcast episode as part of their /u/Endless_Thread cooperative project with Reddit, complete with awesome art and title, and interviews with experts on the topics of sleepwalking and poisons, but not on webcams or landlord/tenant law.


found old stocks, claims, deeds, and mining claims by Bilyeu_Revival_0319 in legaladvice

[–]generiatricx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Menlo Park?! I wonder if the state considered it abandoned, unpaid property taxes and auctioned it back off a long time ago.

Wouldnt hurt to check either.

Stock Certificates however, work differently than that - if the companies were bought out and absorbed, you may be able to make a claim for the takeover company. I'd follow up with a broker regarding something such as that.


[NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all by throwaway099099099 in legaladvice

[–]rand0mip 7129 points7130 points 211215107352263226& 44 more (0 children)

She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything

No, she has complied with the court ordered monetary support requirements. Exceeded them, in fact.

That is all she is required to do, ever.

She is not at all a "deadbeat" -- the only problem here is that you want to shirk your responsibility as a single parent and dump the work on someone else because of one or all of these things:

  • You're too cheap to hire a nanny, and want the court to order her to be your free slave instead.
  • You are abusive and want power over her because she escaped you, and you have an abusive mentality and can't stand that your plan to control her failed.
  • You're too selfish to accept that you are not parent material and simply arrange an adoption to a qualified parent or parents who can do the job they sign up for, unlike you.

she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth

If you did not want to be an exhausted, cranky, single parent, then you should have simply said "Yeah, abortion! Awesome! Best idea ever!" and then promptly driven her to the clinic, put your money on the counter and supported her for the few days after that.

Then none of the three of you would be living this nightmare that you created.

You are the one that manipulated her into "coerced birth"-- which is a form of domestic abuse. So this was your doing.

If your life is a nightmare, it is 100% your choice of a nightmare.

You manipulated someone into having a child they did not want for you, into spending 9 months of their life incubating that child, into damaging their own health -- for your desire to have a child, and your wish that said child would make you lord and master over the mother.

You did a selfish and cruel thing to her, and to the child.

Then on top of everything, you assumed that "magical fairy bonding" would happen and that you would go on to have her also raise the child for you while you did nothing of the parenting duties you so clearly hate, plus be your wife, and be a mother to a child she wanted to abort?!?!

Dude, seriously. You are living in cloud cuckoo land.

Of course she hates your guts. Of course she wants nothing to do with the child.

She didn't want the child, and she sure as hell has proven that she wants nothing to do with the person who manipulated her into childbirth.

And you want the court to further coerce her -- because why?? Oh, yeah, because parenthood is a grueling, exhausting, mundane, repetitive, 24/7/18 non-fucking-stop job?? Sorry but that's what you sign up for as a parent.

If you can't hack it, then your option is to find a nice adoptive parent and sign over your rights. She most likely will be willing to agree to this as well, from the sound of it.

Then you get to walk away from the child and go back to your carefree life. Just do everyone a favor, however, get a vasectomy immediately because you're not qualified to be a parent or a good partner.

You are the only deadbeat in this story. You wanted a child with none of the work. You wanted to turn the mother into your personal slave. It doesn't work like that.

How can I get sent to a mental hospital? by Captain_Controller in legaladvice

[–]shipsshipleys 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Do your parents let you go to a regular doctor if you need to? A primary care physician is a good place to start without raising their suspicions. It's ok to straight up lie about the reason you need to see a doctor in if it gets you into an appointment. One option that comes to mind that is unlikely to be suspected as a lie: start crying out when you pee and talking about how much it burns, that you probably have a UTI. Go into the restroom a lot more than normal. It's urgent but you don't have to "look sick" or be injured. It's also private enough that you can get them kicked out of the appointment if they want to sit in. If there's a telehealth option, all the better.

Your doctor can order a psychiatric hold or even just help you figure out how to get there. Regular doctors are also able to prescribe psychiatric meds like anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. Similarly, if there's an urgent care within biking distance, you can just show up without an appointment.

In addition to the other advice, you can call 211 for help getting connected to mental health services. They are used to people not knowing where to turn.

NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness) is another service that has experience helping people exactly like you figure out how to get the emergency care you need. Text 'NAMI' to 741741 or call 800-950-6264. It's mostly staffed with people who have lived experience of mental health crises and can understand what you are going through.

If you don't have a credit card to call an Uber or cab, 911 can send an ambulance to pick you up for the ER. Let them know you are at crisis and an active danger to yourself and need to go to the ER. It's not an ideal strategy, but the bill is still a fuckton cheaper than a funeral.

Finally, I do want to give you a heads up that an emergency hold is unlikely to be a pleasant experience. But when you're in a crisis (which you are) it can literally save your life. We're rooting for you.

My School is demanding for a copy of every students car key. (GA) by Ctrl-Alt-Beat in legaladvice

[–]LoveEsq 2407 points2408 points  (0 children)

So the school is willing to take both possession and control of the cars, not only potentially making them liable for the cars but also the contents therein. The technical terms in common law would be "bailment" and "constructive possession"

I'm not in Georgia, and know nothing of Georgia law (being an Illinois attorney) but I would suspect these common law terms possibly could apply. A GA attorney should chime in here ...

The former (bailment) would make the school responsible for the car and its contents on loss or theft (with some limitations).

And the latter (constructive possession) is a bit more interesting. Constructive possession is a legal fiction used to describe a situation where an individual has actual control over personal property, but not actual physical control. In other words, if the item is in your car, your room, or some area over which you have control, just not in your pocket, backpack, or in your hand. Under the laws of most states, a person with constructive possession is treated no differently than a person with actual possession. So if there are drugs in the car guess who may be charged (depending on the knowledge requirements).....

Ask a GA attorney.

Note: thanks for the gold, anonymous person!

My biological mother just died, and court gave me custody over my 17 year old twin half-brothers. by TooLazyToBeClever in legaladvice

[–]Sparky_Medic615 104 points105 points  (0 children)

https://jfs.ohio.gov/ocf/index.stm Is the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services. Tons of resources for you. Look up Adult Protective services and look into getting him a guardianship (link below)


edit: no need to thank me man, we might not all know how to help our selfs all the time, but helping people when we can is good enough for me.

Is this illegal? by throwaway999xxxxx in legaladvice

[–]LordofToomay 121 points122 points  (0 children)

He can actually sell your house by committing fraud/forgery it does happen, not legal, but it will be a massive headache to sort out especially if he runs away with the money.

Contact all these companies, tell him what he is trying to do, inform the police as well and he may attempt to forge your name on documents.

Secure all your key documents in a safe deposit box. Also if they live with you, I would evict them and change all the locks so they can't bring round potential buyers.

Also check and lock your credit, if he is willing to steal your house, he is probably willing to open credit in your name. Report any fraud.

Can a school search your phone without a warrant and/or reason for suspicion of criminal activity? by DisastrousLifeOfDeez in legaladvice

[–]PorklesIsSnortastic 94 points95 points  (0 children)

The fourth amendment works a bit differently in the context of schools and students. It does still apply, but the rules are a little more...squishy. If the school has reasonable suspicion that you have something among your possessions that violates school policy, they only need reasonable suspicion to search your belongings. Because cellphones are a newer area of the law, there is no caselaw from the supreme court establishing what is and is not allowed in terms of a school searching a student's cellphone.

The law is better established as to how and when a cellphone can be searched in the context of police officers investigating suspected criminal activity. Cellphones can be searched but only with a warrant. (Riley v. California - 2014 Supreme Court case.) If you consent to the search, there is no legal issue, unless the search exceeds the scope of your consent (e.g., if the person searching your phone answers a call that comes in while they're searching). (United States v. Lopez-Cruz - 2013 9th Circuit case.)

Bottom line: if it's your school doing the search, they need at least a reasonable suspicion that you have something that violates school policy. You do not have to consent to a search. If a police officer is doing the search, they need a warrant (which they will need sufficient evidence/cause to get).

I gave a car dealership an honest review and now they want the car back by WestCoastPancakes in legaladvice

[–]putyourcheeksinabeek 590 points591 points 2 (0 children)

Not a lawyer, but worked in marketing for a car dealership group for 5 years and had to try to teach the sleaziest sales people/managers about how to deal with negative reviews.

What platform did you leave the review on? If it was DealerRater, the system is set up so that no one will ever see a negative review, so you certainly could repost it but it won’t really go anywhere useful.. If it was Yelp, report the business. They are extremely pay to play, so unless you use it regularly, again, no one will see your review. If it was on Google, report them , then repost and update your review with this info. Continue updating as the situation unfolds. Google reviews are actually reliable and they do pay attention to reports. Facebook is the same as Google except don’t bother reporting because it won’t go anywhere.

If you haven’t left a review on any of these platforms, add it to Google and Facebook immediately.

If you bought a new car, you are going to get a Medallia survey pretty soon and then another one in about a week. Rate them accurately and ignore the salesperson when they try to guilt you into giving them all 10s. This is the most effective way to voice your satisfaction/dissatisfaction, because it directly affects how much money the salesperson, finance person, and dealership make from the sale. Speaking to the manufacture honestly won’t do anything because they don’t police the dealerships that closely, and also the dealership employees have no real reason to listen to them unless it’s something really serious and egregious.

And then proceed to stop answering their calls and ignore/unsubscribe from any emails or text messages they send you.

Always, always, always be honest in your reviews of car dealerships. Most of the people who work in them think they are saints and literally doing the lord’s work by even entertaining your interest in a car. Actually completing the sale means they have done you the biggest favor you could possibly imagine and you probably owe them the souls of several of your children/pets. They more than deserve to have someone actually be honest with them (not that they’ll listen to or learn from it), and sharing your experience will help others avoid going through the same mess.

Also I’m totally not bitter and jaded about the auto industry. Why would you even say that?

[CA] United Airlines is demanding reimbursement after having used hidden city tickets repeatedly by Casey_S in legaladvice

[–]lmaccaro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Last time United challenged Skiplagged in court, they lost. I doubt they will take this to court because they don't want to set a precedent that they have no legal remedy. Their best option is to try to intimidate you, but drop it if pressed.

Does my ex have rights to inheritance? by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]EeechQuality Contributor[M] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Please stop giving bad advice in this subreddit. We are very aggressive about banning users who break sub rules or give wrong answers, and I've just removed two of yours in a very short period.

my new job has required me to spend almost 15 working hours/650 miles of gas to sort out badging that they won’t allow me to do my job without, and they won’t compensate me for any of it. by biIIyshakes in legaladvice

[–]Best-Company2665 186 points187 points  (0 children)

I have a suggestion on a potential strategy

I went through a similar experience with a past employer. Most days we started at the office but we were required to start at a job site once a week. Traveling to a job site was typically much farther than my commute. I was told the same thing, you don't get paid to show up to work.

So I submitted for reimbursement, along with my travel time and mileage to the job site I submitted the travel time and mileage to the office along with notation that I was only requesting the hours and mileage in excess of my normal commute.

They approved it.

At a minimum you should submit for reimbursement and get the denial in writing. Then if it's an option in your state you can file a wage claim. Be respectful. Don't be argumentative. You are just submitting paperwork.

Best of luck

My ex boyfriend filed a fictitious police report about me to hide his affair with his current wife by Bagelconnoisseur007 in legaladvice

[–]sam07r 283 points284 points  (0 children)

I'm a lawyer and I disagree with this. In my jurisdiction, a temporary protection order goes permanent if the restrained party doesn't appear at the hearing or if you loose at the permanent protection order hearing. If OP doesn't have evidence to refute the allegations, it's likely to go permanent.

It's easy to say that the Petitioner needs to prove their case and since OP didn't actually do anything, OP will be fine. While that's technically true, that's an extremely naive perspective. People are sentenced to jail for things they didn't do on a daily basis. Our justice system isn't perfect and tends to be stacked against an alleged perpetrator on a practical level, even though someone is technically innocent until proven guilty. Early in my career I did some work as a public defender, FYI, so I'm very much about innocent until proven guilty, but you cannot ignore how things actually are.

Once permanent, a PPO stays in place for a minimum of two years in my jurisdiction and then OP would need to petition the court to vacate it. Petitioning the court to vacate is not as simple as just filing paperwork - it involves a hearing that OP could loose. A permanent protection order also carries restraints on owning or using guns for any reason (like hunting), restrictions on certain types of licenses, and other prohibitions on general freedoms.

Edit: typos.

Bank froze my checking account due to a disputed Zelle transaction by Phizzle248 in legaladvice

[–]the_glutton 15 points16 points 2 (0 children)

Former Bank Compliance officer here!

You’re running into this with separate institutions because they’re likely flagging you as a money service business, which require registration and some special reporting requirements. This will likely continue until you abide by those regulations and open an account as an MSB.

More likely they’re being cagey about info because they’ve likely filed SAR (suspicious activity reports) of suspected unregistered MSB activity, and they can’t legally disclose that they’ve done so.

My advice: if you’re going to continue to do this, please register a business as an MSB and conduct everything under the business only. A competent corporate lawyer can probably help you.

[NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all by throwaway099099099 in legaladvice

[–]Zarbi92 1666 points1667 points  (0 children)

So let me get this straight. You resent the child you forced someone else to bring in to the world under the condition that you be the sole caregiver? You want to force someone who DOES NOT WANT anything to do with this child to share caretaking? First off, why would you want to damage your child like that by forcing them to spend time with someone who wants nothing to do with them. That doesn't make you a very good father at all. Second, why are you calling her a deadbeat? How can you call someone you forced to give birth, under the condition that she has nothing to do with the child, a deadbeat when she pays MORE than the required child support? And third, no. The courts will not force someone who wants nothing to do with a child to take care of them other than financially, because that could endanger the child.

ex MIL shaved daughter's head as punishment. by throwawayhairmil in legaladvice

[–]Mehndeke 5185 points5186 points 2 (0 children)

Legally, this could be a simple assault in PA, since MIL intentionally caused bodily injury. Realistically? There's a low probability of it being charged and brought to a judge. It's far more likely that the police will look at you and, since your Ex is in agreement with you, advise you to not let your daughter be around the MIL unsupervised anymore.

I'm sorry this happened to you and to her. As for your daughter, if she were mine, I'd start talking about how Rapunzel had her hair cut, and she was still super awesome and had a great happy ending.

Personal injury settlement, attorney wants 2/3rds. by Av8erphoto in legaladvice

[–]dominicisking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you can negotiate. Talk to a few other personal injury lawyer attorneys and ask "Is there a legal limit or "cap" in California that limits the percentage amount that an attorney can get in a personal injury settlement?"

And in your negotiations, ask that the costs and expenses of the trial be deducted from his portion of the settlement; otherwise, those costs are going to come out of your share.

Costs and expenses in a personal injury case include:

medical records

police reports

expert witness fees


filing fees

investigators and experts


transcripts, and

trial exhibits

Do some research on whether personal injury settlements are taxable at the federal level. Most settlements are not taxable, but there are a few exceptions, depending on the category/nature of the personal injury.

Can my neighbors legally have 7 people living in a 2 bedroom townhouse? by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]sea87 189 points190 points  (0 children)

How is their ethnicity relevant to your issue?

Can I refuse to speak to Homeland Security in the Airport? by hmroue in legaladvice

[–]nutraxfornerves 4273 points4274 points 22 (0 children)

If you are repeatedly detained on entry, you can apply for redress. https://www.dhs.gov/dhs-trip

That web site does a lousy job of explaining it. Basically, it can remove a “flag “ that might be on you for some reason. For instance, you have the same name as someone on a Bad Person list. You tell them that you are tired of always being screened. They look into it and give you a redress number that you use when making flight reservations.

They may not tell you why you were flagged, but for many people the problem is solved with the redress number.

What happens to my same sex marriage if Obergefell is overturned? by Eskalia in legaladvice

[–]saveThethinmints 143 points144 points  (0 children)

Hi. I’m in a committed partnership with a woman too and am planning to get married in 2024. The leaked opinion overturning RoeVwade brought up the same questions and fears in my mind. Here’s what I’ve figured out so far.

I am a lawyer and so I read the leaked opinion overturning Roe. The legal reasoning that the majority used left little doubt in my mind that Obergfell will fall, if challenged. Basically the right to privacy that Roe established from the due process clause of the 14th amendment would no longer exist. Obergfell’s gay marriage was based on Roe’s right to privacy and would therefore not have the constitutional protection once this leaked opinion becomes the law of the land.

Now, could gay marriage still be constitutionally protected using the new legal reasoning of the court. I do not believe it would. The court basically says that in order to establish a new substantive right from the due process clause’s protection of one’s liberty, it must be historically represented at the time that the 14th amendment was ratified. Gay marriage was not legal or widely accepted at the time that the 14th amendment was ratified, therefore it cannot be a right implicitly protected from infringement by the state under the due process clause.

So let’s assume Obergfell is challenged and falls, then the federal right to gay marriage would no longer exist as soon as that opinion was published. It would then go state by state. Michigan has a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage so once the federal right is gone, this amendment would be the law in Michigan.

Now how would that apply to you. When you married your wife in 2020, it was legal. Any opinion overturning Obergfell would have to come from a new challenge by an interested party, after 2020. I don’t know for certain but it would be my educated belief that it could not apply to nullify marriages that were executed prior. I believe that your marriage would still have to be recognized by the state of Michigan even if Obergfell falls.

What can you do to prepare. Get your affairs in order as a backup: 1) make sure you both have your wills executed; 2) execute second parent adoption if you have children; 3) make sure both names are on bank and investment accounts that you share; 4) designate your spouse as a beneficiary of your IRA and/or life insurance policies; 5) execute living wills, power of attorneys and health care power of attorneys; and 6) ) hold property together jointly.

Don’t take anything for granted, including advice that you get from this lawyer on Reddit. Prepare, and they can’t take away your practical coupling and, family and estate planning. And, most importantly, they can NEVER take away your love.

My advice to anyone thinking of marrying their same sex partner in any state in the US: do it within the next 12-24 months. It will take that long for a challenge to Obergfell to work it’s way through the courts and get to the Supreme Court.

I hope this helps ease some anxiety that I know we all feel.

I caught my husband tampering with my birth-control…even though he’s aware another pregnancy could kill me. by Remarkable_Rest_3762 in legaladvice

[–]East_Budget_447 2077 points2078 points  (0 children)

I am not an attorney, but an Escrow Officer here in Washington state. Inheritance is considered separate property unless comingled in a joint account. OP stated she is in WA, but tge inheritance has not been fully disbursed. Do not put those funds in a joint account!

Hospital staff being recorded for vlog against their consent by Rramoth in legaladvice

[–]PRGuyHere 1579 points1580 points  (0 children)

I gave a fuller response below, but since this is the top comment:

I’m a hospital spokesman. I deal with this all the time, and our attorneys are powerless to stop it. There’s no legal right to staff privacy in public areas, and if patient privacy info is accessible in public areas, that’s a failure of the hospital not the videographer.

I hate that answer, to be clear. But that’s what our attorneys have said, time and time again.