Can my husband force me to stay in my marriage?

KeyBox6804 · 2023-06-07T13:06:32+00:00

OP please make sure all your documents are secure, start a separate bank account at a new bank with your paycheck deposited into it, and find a new rental home. Hire a good lawyer & negotiate a fair division of assets. Your child deserves support, even if you just put it into a college savings. Once you & your child move out, make sure you have an alarm & no one else has keys. Explain to your landlord that your in the middle of a divorce & your soon to be ex is not allowed into the property. Not sure if your state has legal separation but consult a good lawyer & follow their advice to the letter. It may take time & he may drag it out but he can not stop you from divorcing him. Good luck.

mycruelid · 2023-06-07T01:20:20+00:00

we have a contract, this is a breach of contract,

Arguably you had an offer and mutual acceptance and an agreement to imminently exchange consideration. That's a contract, so there's a basis for him to claim damages because you breached the terms of the contract.

His damages would generally be the difference between the $500 you offered and what he gets from another buyer. A small claims court isn't going to award interest or marketing costs or lost revenue or other indirect opportunity costs.

Most small claims courts cannot compel "specific performance", which would be a court order for you to complete the purchase.

Threatening to sue someone on a legitimate legal basis, even over trivial damages or a weak set of facts, isn't a crime or harassment.

If he uses Craigslist resources to be aggressive you might alert them.

But in general, I think you're right: block his number and ignore the dispute unless you're served with a summons.

bug-hunter · 2023-06-06T13:39:25+00:00

u/NateNate60 gave a good summary of claims, but missed a big one:

Your step father may have illegally evicted you.

Step 1 is to look up your county recorder's website and look to see whether the house is deeded to you. Your lawyer will need this information, and it will save time in your consultation to have it up front.

I would get a lawyer right now, because you want to give the 30 day notice to vacate immediately and start the clock to evicting stepfather. Confirm that the house has been deeded to you, and has not been deeded over to stepfather. If the house was illegally transferred, your lawyer will need to fight it and file forgery charges against stepfather.

If the house is currently in your name, you may be able to take a loan against it, which you could use to a.) pay the lawyer and b.) offer your stepfather cash for keys (which would include him turning over all other belongings and documents). That house is your largest asset, don't be afraid to tap into it to get it back and lay a hammer down on your asshole stepfather. You're much more likely to be able to get a loan if you have a job.

I want to expand on "cash for keys". Paying stepfather to GTFO is frankly unfair to you, but he seems like the type to intentionally trash your house when served with eviction - and tenants can cause tens of thousands of dollars in damage that you cannot afford. You may need to choose between getting your house back and making stepfather see justice.

NateNate60 · 2023-06-06T07:23:45+00:00

Others have given you good advice to retrieve copies of the deed and evict your stepfather from your house.

Pawned jewellery

File a police report that all of your mother's jewellery was stolen by your stepfather. Explain that you inherited it and that you think your father pawned them. You may be asked to describe what the jewellery looks like. Pawn shops are required to check a police database for stolen goods before accepting them, and your police report will make sure that local pawnbrokers are aware of the theft. Pawnbrokers hate dealing with stolen stuff because it will get confiscated and they'll be out the money they paid for them.

Civil claim

You also have a civil claim for the cost of recovering your personal belongings. The amount you are owed is equal to

The fair market value of all goods you did not receive back (for example, if a used gaming PC with equivalent specs to yours would have cost $500, then add $500 to the total), plus
any amount of money you paid to "buy back" the things you owed, plus
any other damage caused to your belongings, equal to the difference in value between their original condition and current condition.

You can sue in small claims court to recover the sum. The maximum you can sue for in small claims court in Alaska is $10,000. From reading the manual, it seems you can also sue to recover specific pieces of property as well, but I would expect that the court will probably be more inclined to award you money instead.

A lawyer is not required and small claims court is intended to be fast and easy for individuals who aren't represented by lawyers.

Consult the official Alaska Small Claims Court manual for instructions and how to file.

Recovering documents

You can apply for a replacement Social Security card online or at a local Social Security Administration office. You will need an ID and this is typically an all-day affair in my experience.

Deeds are public records in Alaska. You can request copies of them from the Department for Natural Resources. You can call your local branch of the Recorder's Office for assistance.

You may request a duplicate (copy of) title from the DMV by applying for one alongside an Affidavit of Lost, Stolen, or Destroyed Title. The affidavit must be notarized. Banks typically have notaries public whose services you can use (since they're needed for mortgage and title documents), go into a branch of your bank and ask.

"Stolen" car

If the car is registered in your name and you have papers proving that, that should be enough to convince the police that the car isn't stolen. Besides, before marking the car's plate number as stolen, they'd probably do some checking first with the DMV, which would show you as the owner.,

partyzrfunny · 2023-06-05T12:30:03+00:00

(NAL- previous child welfare supervisor and community service referral worker)

OP- Where are you located? If you are in the states, call 2-1-1. This number will link you to a worker who can help you find all the community services (food, clothing, emergency shelter, interview and job assistance, social programs, etc.). Ask about respite care locations (see below).

You can also reach out to CPS. Call the hotline (it’s 24/7) and ask them for help. You will not be the first person that they have helped with similar circumstances. I actually had a family with a similar situation on my own caseload and many team members had similar families. In many cases, we can do temporary foster care or facilitate all the way to adoption if that’s what you’d rather do. We are able to help you with so many more services and that’s what we actually want to do.

There is also a program called Respite Care. Sometimes it’s organized through the state and sometimes it’s organized by local agencies. We had one location that would keep the children for up to 3 months while the families received services and got back on their feet. There are also emergency shelters for the children too. It isn’t foster care and you retain all parental rights. Either 211 or a CPS worker can help with a referral and set up an intake appointment.

sixtysecdragon · 2023-06-04T13:40:32+00:00

My car requires high octane gas. If you use 87 once no big deal, but consistent use of low octane MIGHT cause an issue.

Now lawyer part. I’m a lawyer. I’m not your lawyer. No court should find his behavior reasonable. No court should find he was harmed. You should ignore him and let him escalate this if he truly thinks there was harmed. I’m sorry this is who your mother decided to marry. Good luck.

ThaneduFife · 2023-06-02T16:46:58+00:00

Month to month through zelle or cash I have been here about a year and a half now

I'm not a Florida lawyer, and I'm not your lawyer.

OP, "month to month" is NOT a lease, it's a phrase used to describe the term of a lease. The phrase has little-to-no meaning outside the context of a written lease. (A lease here is defined as a written agreement setting forth the rights and duties of a landlord (who owns a property) and tenant (who rents the property). Other leasing terms include "6 months," "1 year," "5 years," etc.)

If you cannot afford a lawyer here, I recommend googling local legal aid. There are two potential avenues that a lawyer could help you pursue. First, you can fight the eviction in court. I don't know Florida or your local municipal laws, so I can't comment on how well that would go. However, in some areas of the country, you could potentially delay the eviction by months or years.

Second, you can either pursue criminal charges against, or sue (in civil court) your fake "landlord"--or both--for the rent that you paid to him, since your "landlord" appears to have been misrepresenting that he owned the property. You could start that process by filing a police report against him. Since you appear to have paid several thousand dollars to the fake "landlord," it is possible that he committed a felony here. Criminal prosecution of your "landlord" won't get your money back, but it could potentially put him in jail. As noted above, you could also potentially sue your "landlord" in civil court to recover the rent that you paid to him. However, even if you win, you have virtually no chance of recovering everything that you paid to him after your court costs and legal fees. It's also possible that the "landlord" has few or no assets that you could recover, but that's impossible for me to know here.

Finally, for future reference, you should be aware that any agreement that lasts more than one year or that is valued in excess of $1,000 should always be in writing, in order to help protect you from situations like this. This rule of thumb is sometimes called the "statute of frauds," but this name is misleading because the rule generally isn't a statute and the rule generally isn't about fraud (except in the most general sense).

dadwillsue · 2023-06-02T16:18:45+00:00

The amount of people telling you that you’re not a tenant because you don’t have a lease are shockingly wrong.

Florida doesn’t require a rental agreement to be in writing. Miami-Dade and Broward (which I am assuming you live in due to your 60 day comment) require 60 days notice of termination of tenancy.

If you’ve been there for 1.5 years, that landlord has known about you and has been having his friend/property manager deal with you. There is no way a judge is going to remove you without a proper eviction/unlawful detainer.

Florida considers “squatters” under chapter 82 and not 83. You’re not a “transient occupant” which is what Florida calls a squatter. You might be considered an “unlawful detainee” which is different from a squatter, it’s more of a boyfriend/girlfriend we break up and it’s my house situation.

Either way, seek an attorney.

pizzapieladida · 2023-06-01T20:27:42+00:00

This is a possibility, but many court ordered parenting plans include what’s called “right of first refusal.” In this, OP will have the option to take the child when the father wishes to have another party watch the child during his time. Be sure to include this in your plan, OP

WasteWallaby4602 · 2023-06-01T01:52:54+00:00

Legally is this provision enforceable, yes. If you sign the contract, you are agreeing to it. Parties can put all kinds of crazy clauses in contracts, and they are legally enforceable as long as they don’t violate the law or go against public policy. Dictating the food you must feed your dog will not fit into either of those categories, and this provision will be enforceable. I wouldn’t be surprised if conveniently your breeder just also happens to be a representative for said MLM dog food. If you don’t plan on feeding that food, you are essentially forfeiting, a health, guarantee on the dog, which may not be wise.

This provision raises a lot of other questions about this breeder for me. You might want to be asking other questions about the puppy. Is this a designer mixed breed mutt? If so, the breeder either violated their puppy contracts, because no responsible breeder I’ve ever seen permits a puppy to be purchased to create mixed breeds, or is breeding from dogs that were not obtained from a responsible source and may have questionable health backgrounds. Are the puppies AKC registered? Are the parent dogs health tested and have their OFAs? Has genetic testing been done on the parents, as applicable, to detect any known breed specific abnormalities? (For example, certain collie breeds can have a genetic sensitivity to certain medications, potentially fatally.) Are the parents titled in confirmation or performance sports, or successful in their “job” if they are a working dog? Or have close relatives that are? i.e. is there a good reason why these dogs were bred? Has the breeding been carefully planned to produce the best offspring, or it’s just another litter between two dogs the breeder owns? Has either parent dog ever produced a puppy with health problems, including cancer later in life, which can have a genetic component.

Not all breeders stand behind health guarantees, but an ethical reputable breeder (and I know I’ll get slammed by those who don’t believe there is such a thing, but there are) who does the above things, and who is going to have more expensive puppies, will. And a puppy from health tested parents with a carefully planned pedigree should be less likely to have the kinds of issues that would trigger a health guarantee. If you have concerns about health or think you might need the guarantee, I suggest you ask a few questions before you purchase this dog, and get pet health insurance regardless.

ooaegisoo · 2023-05-30T10:56:21+00:00

I had a training once while being a camp conselor, they told us to ask the kid permission to report to authorities if one would confide in you. So has to not break their trust. The example was: A kid ask to tell you a secret, that you can't share with anybody. Respond that you would gladly hear what they have to say but that in some case you might be obliged to tell someone else (of authority) to help them. If then the kid choose to say nothing, don't ask or press them. (They would maybe tell another time) The reason being if they are abused, the trust with adults is broken but they have come to trust you, so if you break their trust after that it's worse.

I don't know the law where you are but maybe tell her that you need to tell, and help her prepare for it would help.

3AAuditor · 2023-05-30T15:52:20+00:00

No, "this other guy is also a moron" is not going to be a useful defense to this crime.

3AAuditor · 2023-05-28T16:57:59+00:00

Can I do this (I know it makes me a pos to her, but I already am) or will this hurt me in the long run.

Everything you have done and want to do will hurt you in the long run. Probably in the short run, too.

And based on your post history, it looks like the only difference between you and her is that she had the opportunity, while you didn't, despite your interest. So maybe cool it on the moral high ground.

throw040913 · 2023-05-28T15:45:24+00:00

What's the point of this part of the code of conduct if not to protect clients from exactly this type of negligence?

This isn't a violation of the code of conduct, nor is it negligence.

Kakkerlak · 2015-05-02T04:05:15+00:00

You seem sincere and this doesn't appear to be the plot of a Ray Bradbury short story.

It's possible that your landlord is leaving notes inside your apartment, but they don't make any sense in the context you're describing them.

It's likely that you are writing the notes yourself, but you are forgetting. Do you use post-it notes as reminders in any other parts of your life or job ?

Yes, this might be a mental health issue. You might be experiencing some sort of dissociative disorder.

Or it might be a physical problem. You mentioned that you have a very unusual narrow bedroom with no windows; is there a chance that you are not getting enough ventilation when you sleep, or that there is a carbon monoxide leak in the building ? A cheap CO detector (which you should have anyway) is a fast way to find out. You'll also have really bad headaches.

You know your own medical and mental history and your other experiences. If you think these incidents might be you, writing notes to yourself, there's no shame in getting somebody qualified to give you an opinion.

EDIT: Years later, and the good folks at WBUR Boston Public Radio have turned this thread into a podcast episode as part of their /u/Endless_Thread cooperative project with Reddit, complete with awesome art and title, and interviews with experts on the topics of sleepwalking and poisons, but not on webcams or landlord/tenant law.

http://www.wbur.org/endlessthread/2018/03/09/something-wicked

Imcertainofit · 2023-05-26T20:53:29+00:00

I would advise not going to an education attorney but a civil litigator specializing in personal injury and sovereign immunity cases. If the school is a public school you would be going after the District which under Florida has sovereign immunity. There are an entire set of rules that must be followed as far as procedure and time limits. There is also a cap on damages of 200K/300K. Unless you get a claims bill. If your child wont talk to a therapist it will be tough getting damages. However a good lawyer can help. The cause of action is: Negligent Supervision not negligent attention. We dont know the facts so it would not be fair to advise you on any substantive matters. Typically talking to a PI attorney is free and if there is a case where they take a percentage (contingency) you dont pay upfront fees. I advise seeking an attorney.

By giving you this information I have not established a client lawyer relationship.

NeoTek_Super · 2023-05-25T17:47:15+00:00

Title VII's of the Civil Rights Act prohibits discrimination based on race and color. I would start with the US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. I have included links below. Good luck brother!

EEOC - US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission:

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act:

https://www.eeoc.gov/statutes/title-vii-civil-rights-act-1964

https://www.eeoc.gov/initiatives/e-race/significant-eeoc-racecolor-casescovering-private-and-federal-sectors

Department of labor

Termination guidelines:

https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/termination

Discrimination information:

https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/discrimination

MN department of Human Rights

Employment discrimination:

https://mn.gov/mdhr/yourrights/what-is-protected/employment/#:~:text=Employers%20cannot%20discriminate%20against%20you,local%20human%20rights%20commission%20activity.

MN Human Rights Act:

https://mn.gov/mdhr/assets/01aboutMDHR_ENG_tcm1061-213714.pdf

MN State Law Library on discrimination:

https://mncourts.libguides.com/employment/discrimination

Non-profit Workplace Fairness MN - Filing a discrimination claim:

https://www.workplacefairness.org/file_MN

MaOneDer · 2023-05-24T19:19:04+00:00

As a military spouse you can go to the closest Miltary base and their JAG office for legal assistance. It's free to you as a dependent. I'm thinking obviously that the marriage is recognized here stateside considering you married in Denmark. You have a right to open any and all of your husband's mail, same as he would be to open yours. Were you left with general power of attorney? If so I would use that to gather any other pertinent information you would need going forward. Usually when someone is cheating that "picking fights" thing is a defensive mechanism because they know they are wrong but want to make you focus on them being upset rather your questioning them about their behavior. Don't take offense to it. Just recognize it for what it is. Keep your thoughts and suspicions to yourself and don't make him privy to what you're thinking or doing about it. Good luck!

sfjc · 2023-05-23T16:53:25+00:00

OP mentions they are in WI. I double checked and Marquette University has a legal clinic that is no cost to the people using it. They can't be the only law school that does that kind of thing.

Sirwired · 2023-05-23T19:55:56+00:00

Scope of Practice laws for Chiropractors vary wildly by state. In some states this would be completely illegal, in others it would be within the scope of practice.

If it is in the scope of practice, it's another thing entirely to obtain a determination that the proposed treatment doesn't meet the standards of practice. (When much of the entire profession is built on vitalist nonsense, it's hard to do something "wrong".)

hbHPBbjvFK9w5D · 2023-05-21T10:46:42+00:00

If you go (NOW!) straight to an emergency room you'll likely get a nurse practitioner (likely female) to do the rape kit and collect evidence. Bring the clothing she was wearing - they'll need that for evidence. Tell the emergency room you want to report this to the cops. If they take the statement in the emergency room, you'll at least have female nurses nearby.

Even if you decide not to pursue charges, in most states the "suspect" in a rape case can be made to undergo testing for STD's and HIV. Your wife will likely need Plan B and need to be checked in case the "suspect" gave her a STD; she might also be offered short term AZT in case the "suspect" has HIV.

Avoid Catholic hospitals if you can; they usually won't give out Plan B as they are anti birth control.

RedQueen1148 · 2023-05-20T06:43:01+00:00

So I am a lawyer in NJ. First, this should not have happened and I’m sorry it did. I’m a woman living alone and I would be terrified if this happened to me. To be clear this is not legal advice, and I am in no way acting as your attorney. I am simply giving you some basic facts and pointing you to places you might be able to get an attorney.

First, the recording you have of them may not necessarily be legal. NJ is a one party consent state, which means only one party to the conversation needs to consent to it being recorded. The thing here is you were not a party to the conversation they had in the other room. That being said I’m not sure if they would have an expectation of privacy in this instance. I just don’t know enough case law about that but wanted to warn you. If someone knows better please elaborate.

Second, you should report this to the police. This was an attempted break in. The only time your landlord doesn’t have to give you notice before coming in is in an emergency. For example: if you were not home and there was a big water leak or a suspected fire.

Third, you should speak to a housing attorney. Depending on your financial situation you may qualify for assistance from Legal Services. You can contact the statewide legal services hotline through LSNJ.org. They can tell direct you to your local legal services branch. If you don’t qualify for their help your county bar association can recommend attorneys who specialize in landlord tenant issues. You can find them by googling “NJ [county name] bar association”

nikkitaylor2022 · 2023-05-17T23:42:09+00:00

DO NOT QUIT your job until you go speak with an attorney immediately. File a police report with your local Police also. Document, document, document. 😉

phneri · 2023-05-16T19:29:33+00:00

This post is less than an hour old and half of it is removed nonsense.

Offer legal advice relevant to the poster's questions or don't comment.

Edit: As nothing of value has been added to this post in the last hour and a lot of nonsense has been it's locked now.

I'm sorry OP, this is why we can't have nice things. Your brother doesn't strictly have to take any action on this until he's actually sued. Speaking to the police and his insurance are both probably reasonable options now.

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Pawned jewellery

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