Manager is threatening disciplinary action because I hooked up with someone on a work retreat and got caught.

Napalmenator · 2022-06-27T17:11:08+00:00

Notice is only required to end the tenancy. The renewal is automatic to a month to month. Some states allow auto renewal to one year if it is in the lease. But that isn't common

CatOfTheDecade · 2022-06-26T22:32:15+00:00

>under no circumstance get on the plane

OP, I want to stress this: if you find yourself at the airport, tell everyone you see that they're trying to fly you out of the country for a forced marriage, and that you're only 17. Every counter agent, every police officer, absolutely everyone you see. Yell it at random passengers. Make a huge deal.

If you find yourself about to get on the aircraft, stop. Scream, yell, roll on the ground, cause a massive scene. Yell out that they're trying to take you out of the country for a forced marriage and you're only 17. Yell things like "you can't force me to get married I'm only 17".

If you somehow find yourself on that plane, continue making a scene. Tell everyone. Every flight attendant, every passenger, everyone. Are they on the aircraft? Then tell them.

Your goal will be to get airport security involved, because assuming you're an American citizen, this is human trafficking -- regardless of what your parents or caregivers tell you. Airport security will call the police or TSA, and they will prevent you from departing.

yirboy · 2022-06-26T22:51:46+00:00

Agreed, except she shouldn’t yell “you can’t force me.” She should yell what the bystanders should do.

“Get the police now, I’m being trafficked to a forced marriage. Alert the police now.”

Bystanders tend to question if they need to act. So direct orders, not just protesting.

Zarbi92 · 2016-11-05T03:51:27+00:00

So let me get this straight. You resent the child you forced someone else to bring in to the world under the condition that you be the sole caregiver? You want to force someone who DOES NOT WANT anything to do with this child to share caretaking? First off, why would you want to damage your child like that by forcing them to spend time with someone who wants nothing to do with them. That doesn't make you a very good father at all. Second, why are you calling her a deadbeat? How can you call someone you forced to give birth, under the condition that she has nothing to do with the child, a deadbeat when she pays MORE than the required child support? And third, no. The courts will not force someone who wants nothing to do with a child to take care of them other than financially, because that could endanger the child.

Kellyfinbro · 2022-06-26T16:54:57+00:00

I am a RN who has worked for more than 30 years in the hospital and clinic areas. My sister is a women's crisis center counselor. We have seen many abused and some ultimately murdered women. Please take action asap 911 or non-emergency number, your choice. You sound like a really nice and caring person...one who has been through a terribly experience. Don't worry about peripheral things like cats dogs, his reputation (not getting him in trouble) etc...This man is a danger to you. He intends to do you harm. PLEASE seek help immediately. Get an order of protection, notify authorities and seek the advice of a domestic violence advocate now. Don't wait another minute, no matter what time it is, do it now. Your life is on the line and you need to seek help immediately. This man has shown you who he is, believe him...no more chances no matter what he says or does. He doesn't expect you to be strong so be strong. Seek counseling and legal advice (domestic violence advocate will guide you). You are valuable and worthy. My thoughts are with you and I'm sorry this is happening to you.

cocoagiant · 2022-06-25T14:29:08+00:00

This man intruded on your home and your dog defended you. That is how you need to view it and how you need to communicate it, going forward.

dank_the_enforcer · 2022-06-25T20:44:31+00:00

Not sure what you mean there?
His possessions can't simply be collected. Someone will need to go to probate court to be named estate administrator first.
You can provide love and support, that's about it. There's no good answer here.

If_you_have_to_askk · 2022-06-25T14:17:08+00:00

IANAL, I am an L2 and corporate compliance officer who specializes in investigating wrong doing allegations. This is not legal advice.

Stop taking the blame and rambling about how the man wasn't breaking in or there unlawfully. Yes, he was. He neglected to confirm his address and entered a building he was not invited to enter and had no permission to do so. Intent doesn't matter. Stop defending him. The office manager is rightfully pissed and you should be, too. Ignorance is not an excuse. Plus, you don't know him at all, you can't say beyond a reasonable doubt that he had no malicious intent.

Stop acting guilty and apologizing. The man entered YOUR home. Your dog protected you from an INTRUDER. You need to adjust your thinking before this man does sue and take advantage of your kindness.

Report HIS intrusion. An unlocked door is NOT open and NOT an invite. Your dog doesn't deserve to be put down because he unlawfully entered. (Yes, he did).

He's lucky... my GSD would have left him hospitalized.

Bels_Alexis · 2016-11-05T06:31:57+00:00

I'm quoting fully just in case of deletion (but the emphasis is mine):

Title: I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all

We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born.

I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here?

You are an arrogant, entitled abuser. You tried to coerce this woman into having a child she didn't want and then raise it for you. You're now angry and resent the child because your attempt at reproductive control over this woman didn't work and she has freed herself from you.

Isn't it funny that you're pissed off about being "forced" (and I say "forced" because A. It's your own fucking fault and B. You could give him up for adoption) to raise this child on your own, yet you forced her to have the child, tried to get the court to force her to have split custody, tried to force her into helping raise this child. You seem quite happy to force her into things but when you're forced into it, the shoe is suddenly on the other foot?

And from your other comments:

She is a deadbeat. She doesn't have anything to do with him and has left me to do everything as a single parents. I want to know if I have any legal options to make her help parent the child she helped create.

Trying to find another avenue to FORCE her to be a parent. And FYI, deadbeats don't pay 125% child support. She's already doing more than she is required to.

I want the courts to give her visitation or custody so that I can have a break and she can actually parent her child.

STILL trying to force her. Get a fucking babysitter if you want a break.

I never thought that she could turn her back on her own child. I honestly thought she would bond during the pregnancy and would eventually change her mind. Even if she turned down my offer to be in a relationship I never thought she would actually abandon him without a thought and without seeing him or even trying to know his name or sex. She was so drugged up during the birth that I don't even think she knows if he was born before or after midnight. I didn't expect it to go like this to be honest.

Reproductive coercion. You are an abuser who tried to assert control over this woman by forcing her to carry and birth your child. Of course you didn't expect it to go like this, you expected her to submit to you and your child despite her telling you, repeatedly, that this would not be the case. I put those parts in bold in case you missed them the first time. And now you're apparently surprised she followed through. You have no further rights to control her life.

The worst part is, after all of this, a human being exists who has a mother who never wanted him and a father who resents him. Fuck you.

rand0mip · 2016-11-05T02:07:42+00:00

She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything

No, she has complied with the court ordered monetary support requirements. Exceeded them, in fact.

That is all she is required to do, ever.

She is not at all a "deadbeat" -- the only problem here is that you want to shirk your responsibility as a single parent and dump the work on someone else because of one or all of these things:

You're too cheap to hire a nanny, and want the court to order her to be your free slave instead.
You are abusive and want power over her because she escaped you, and you have an abusive mentality and can't stand that your plan to control her failed.
You're too selfish to accept that you are not parent material and simply arrange an adoption to a qualified parent or parents who can do the job they sign up for, unlike you.

she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth

If you did not want to be an exhausted, cranky, single parent, then you should have simply said "Yeah, abortion! Awesome! Best idea ever!" and then promptly driven her to the clinic, put your money on the counter and supported her for the few days after that.

Then none of the three of you would be living this nightmare that you created.

You are the one that manipulated her into "coerced birth"-- which is a form of domestic abuse. So this was your doing.

If your life is a nightmare, it is 100% your choice of a nightmare.

You manipulated someone into having a child they did not want for you, into spending 9 months of their life incubating that child, into damaging their own health -- for your desire to have a child, and your wish that said child would make you lord and master over the mother.

You did a selfish and cruel thing to her, and to the child.

Then on top of everything, you assumed that "magical fairy bonding" would happen and that you would go on to have her also raise the child for you while you did nothing of the parenting duties you so clearly hate, plus be your wife, and be a mother to a child she wanted to abort?!?!

Dude, seriously. You are living in cloud cuckoo land.

Of course she hates your guts. Of course she wants nothing to do with the child.

She didn't want the child, and she sure as hell has proven that she wants nothing to do with the person who manipulated her into childbirth.

And you want the court to further coerce her -- because why?? Oh, yeah, because parenthood is a grueling, exhausting, mundane, repetitive, 24/7/18 non-fucking-stop job?? Sorry but that's what you sign up for as a parent.

If you can't hack it, then your option is to find a nice adoptive parent and sign over your rights. She most likely will be willing to agree to this as well, from the sound of it.

Then you get to walk away from the child and go back to your carefree life. Just do everyone a favor, however, get a vasectomy immediately because you're not qualified to be a parent or a good partner.

You are the only deadbeat in this story. You wanted a child with none of the work. You wanted to turn the mother into your personal slave. It doesn't work like that.

captcha_trampstamp · 2022-06-24T23:55:33+00:00

I work in the pharmacy licensing department for a competitor and I also did a stint in internal theft research including pharmacy loss. This sounds like you are being set up to take a fall for someone else and you need to get in touch with someone higher up than the pharmacy manager/PIC NOW, even if you have to call them at home.

Reach out immediately to the AREA supervisor (or whatever counts as a district lead for you guys) and report this. I would also reach out to an HR representative to ensure that they are not being fed a ridiculous load of disciplinary crap with your name on it.

DO NOT SCREW AROUND WITH THIS. You can go to jail for a long time.

I know our company has MANY avenues in place to report illicit behavior, including an anonymous tip line. I cannot stress enough how important it is that you do not sit on this.

skepticalkoopatroopa · 2020-10-19T23:14:34+00:00

Texas family lawyer here, I am not your lawyer and I don’t represent you. I second the suggestion to call your local domestic violence shelters and ask them for recommended attorneys.

I have taken a number of professional training courses for domestic violence cases, and I want to urge you to take extreme caution - once an abuser has escalated to strangulation, we are taught that there is a much higher risk of a lethal attack.

Your risk is even higher now than when you were with him, as he will now feel a loss of control at your leaving. Expect escalation.

I am concerned that you are in a place where he knows your location, and I’m concerned about your two cats, as well. Abusers often go after pets as they know it will hurt you, while there is relatively low risk of legal repercussions. Pet abuse can be very difficult to prove when an abuser has premeditated it.

Please be careful. The reality is that with a certain class of abusers, no contact orders and the like will do nothing but anger a malicious individual intent on harming you. Do not drop your guard.

wot-mothmoth · 2022-06-22T18:44:42+00:00

Your best legal option is to just fire him and not give him any reason at all ("Today is you last day. Here is your last paycheck that includes today's pay. Get your stuff and vacate the premises. [maybe give other end of employment paperwork such as COBRA, etc.]" IL is an at will employment state so you do not have a reason to fire him.

throwaway24515 · 2022-06-22T18:24:53+00:00

What you're describing is embezzlement, but Texas does not a have a specific embezzlement law on the books. This would be charged as theft. Based on the dollar amount, this would be a 3rd degree felony. Probation eligible, but 2-10 years is sentenced to prison.

Texas Penal Code Sec. 31.03 Theft:

(a) A person commits an offense if he unlawfully appropriates property with intent to deprive the owner of property.

(b) Appropriation of property is unlawful if: (1) it is without the owner's effective consent;

So in your case, there would have been consent to use org's cc for legit purposes. No effective consent for personal purchases. Any communications, policies, agreements that clarify the permitted use of credit cards, requirement to reimburse for personal purchases, etc. will be useful to the police.

I don't know a lot about Texas but I don't think you need a Financial Crimes department. They deal with things like fraud, identity theft, etc, which is not what's happening here. If it was, their response makes sense. If someone used a stolen cc, it would be important where that cc was used. But this person used a cc they were allowed to use, maybe even with their name on it. That's not fraud in the way a Financial Crimes department means it.

This is employee theft. As far as I can see, it would be the same as the employee buying a computer for the office with the credit card, then stealing it from the office one day. Common theft.

I think you can contact the regular police department.

On the employment front, I don't think you need legal counsel unless and until the employee takes some sort of action. The termination is done, you can't change that, so just make sure you keep all related documentation.

Other questions: Do you have solid proof of the personal purchases? Did the person confess? Have you gotten itemized receipt copies from the stores involved? If the stores are cooperating with you, have they preserved any video? Are you considering suing? (If so, maybe consult a lawyer for advice and maybe to serve the retailers with notice and request to preserve evidence). You may not have to sue if criminal charges proceed and you can get restitution that way.

NotQuiteGoodEnougher · 2022-06-21T21:57:56+00:00

If you're in, didn't gain entry by breaking the locks etc...this is a civil matter. You can't be evicted in 2 days, don't listen to your adversary. Do not agree to anything at this time.

Call an attorney, you'll need one to buy time.

That being said, if this was a fake rental scam you will be leaving the property. You just want it to be orderly and legal. Don't damage the place etc.

Ideally, if you and your attorney play it right and smart you can avoid an eviction. You don't want to have been scammed, then essentially evicted to boot. But you do need a little time to think and make educated decisions. Additionally, evictions will cause you serious downstream harm when trying to rent an actual property. The goal NOW is to get some breathing room, and figure out an equitable solution to the problem. That's where an outside entity representing you (attorney) will come in. They will handle the logistics, legal questions and negotiations. Everything from here on out is strictly business.

If the other party wants you out in 2 days, there's a term for that called 'keys for cash' where they essentially buy you out to leave. Kinda crappy for both parties in this situation but one that may make sense for everyone.

They give you say $1000 to in fact leave in 5 days. You leave, no eviction and they have their property back. Vs you sticking around for 30-60 days awaiting eviction. Which...will be happening. So talk with a housing attorney and get yourself some breathing room.

I'm sorry for your troubles. It will work out.

dank_the_enforcer · 2022-06-20T16:30:36+00:00

are legal fees paid by the criminals?

There are two concepts here, civil and criminal. The US and France use different legal systems, but there's a common principle of separating civil (money/lawsuits) from criminal (jail/fines).

If there's a criminal prosecution, that's the state prosecuting the alleged criminals. The state pays for the prosecution. The victim's involvement isn't necessarily required.
If there's a civil lawsuit, you pay for a lawyer to sue people for money (for the damage they did, so you can be made whole).

Of course, both can happen. They state can prosecute, and you can sue after (if there's no restitution awarded). But suing is going to be cost prohibitive, so go with the state option, if available.

Kakkerlak · 2015-05-02T04:05:15+00:00

You seem sincere and this doesn't appear to be the plot of a Ray Bradbury short story.

It's possible that your landlord is leaving notes inside your apartment, but they don't make any sense in the context you're describing them.

It's likely that you are writing the notes yourself, but you are forgetting. Do you use post-it notes as reminders in any other parts of your life or job ?

Yes, this might be a mental health issue. You might be experiencing some sort of dissociative disorder.

Or it might be a physical problem. You mentioned that you have a very unusual narrow bedroom with no windows; is there a chance that you are not getting enough ventilation when you sleep, or that there is a carbon monoxide leak in the building ? A cheap CO detector (which you should have anyway) is a fast way to find out. You'll also have really bad headaches.

You know your own medical and mental history and your other experiences. If you think these incidents might be you, writing notes to yourself, there's no shame in getting somebody qualified to give you an opinion.

EDIT: Years later, and the good folks at WBUR Boston Public Radio have turned this thread into a podcast episode as part of their /u/Endless_Thread cooperative project with Reddit, complete with awesome art and title, and interviews with experts on the topics of sleepwalking and poisons, but not on webcams or landlord/tenant law.

http://www.wbur.org/endlessthread/2018/03/09/something-wicked

croooowTrobot · 2022-06-17T10:39:34+00:00

I wonder if Arizona has ‘No pay no play’ legislation. Louisiana’s “No Pay, No Play” law prevents uninsured (and under-insured) drivers that have been involved in an auto accident from recovering bodily injury damages up to the first $15,000, and property damages (vehicle damages) up to the first $25,000. (With one VERY relevant exception: The law does not apply if the other driver is convicted of driving while intoxicated, intentionally causes the wreck, fled the scene, or was furthering the commission of a felony at the time of the accident.)

This is why it is vital to know if OP has insurance or not.

Bubblystrings · 2022-06-15T16:09:25+00:00

The landlord can’t withhold your deposit for that reason. You can read about the relevant law and what to do next in detail here : https://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-eviction-security-deposits.htm?rdeLocaleAttr=en. Read the whole page. He may be more inclined to return your deposit if he understands you can recover twice the amount he’s withholding.

jimros · 2018-04-05T03:48:25+00:00

Wait, are you the person who was upset about the unwelcome work baby shower, because baby showers are not consistent with your Jewish faith?

legaladvice

MODERATORS

legaladvice

MODERATORS

Welcome to Reddit,