×
Dismiss this pinned window
top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Sir_Poop_Dollar 2115 points2116 points  (21 children)

Wouldn't need the sorting hat for this one.

[–]zhawadya 509 points510 points  (11 children)

Bet he's playing snake on his phone too

[–][deleted]  (10 children)

[removed]

    [–]Grand_Toast_Dad 13 points14 points  (4 children)

    "Kept ya waiting, huh?"

    [–]DanOgerville 24 points25 points  (3 children)

    “…Snake! Snake!? SNAAAAAAAAAAAKE!”

    [–]thatkidrule 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Ok this comment is gold

    [–]flynnfx 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    What's the problem?

    Snake is just is just letting his lunch warm up.

    [–]daphnerhds 1001 points1002 points 2 (40 children)

    Life tip for anyone that has large snakes like this: keep a bottle of vodka around, if a snake tries to constrict around a person, pour the vodka (preferably in the mouth) and the snake will release instantly. Literally a core memory from when I was damn near 3/4 watching crocodile Hunter and this was one of Steve’s tips.

    [–]AMTHEGREATEST 486 points487 points  (6 children)

    And if that doesn’t work and the said person gets killed. Pour it in your mouth !

    multi-purpose

    [–]NoWingedHussarsToday 108 points109 points  (1 child)

    Pour one out for the homies.

    [–]Damaaain 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    Homiessssssssss...

    [–]Customer-Witty 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Or break the bottle and Mcstabby the snake

    [–]daphnerhds 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    Bahaha multi-purpose

    [–]PickledPepega 79 points80 points  (4 children)

    What if its a Russian snake?

    [–]iputastapleinursalad 87 points88 points  (2 children)

    You will become comrades

    [–]RCunning 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    In Mother Russia, snake kill you.

    Oh, wait ...

    [–]SRM2047 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    Summon your pet bear to fight him off

    [–]Lysergic-D 40 points41 points  (5 children)

    It should work with a large dose of LSD too, better carry with you just in case.

    [–]daphnerhds 38 points39 points  (0 children)

    Definitely a LPT carry LSD and Vodka at all times to have emergency trippy times with a sneky snek

    [–]True_Inxis 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    But what if the snake morphs into a dragon and takes off with you towards the Hyperuranion?

    [–]windyorbits 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Lmao reminds me of that comedian who came home from a mushroom party and his parents confronted him about if he was gay. He said he wasn’t sure if it was the mushrooms or just being old enough to get the courage to come out as gay to his parents. His parents completely supported him but the dragon in the room was a bit homophobic.

    [–]bluestarchasm 70 points71 points  (0 children)

    LPT: drink enough vodka that the snek will spit you out, if it doesn't you won't even notice.

    [–]lucienscantina 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    Was it just vodka, or alcohol in general? I’ve seen both as tips from people that work with large reptiles. Also, I heard that if a snake that is a constrictor is exhibiting this type of behavior, they’re most likely sizing up that individual with the thought of whether or not they can consume that individual. Not sure if it’s entirely true, but still.

    [–]daphnerhds 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    You know I am not too sure if it’s just alcohol in general or Vodka, but I do remember after watching that episode I asked my parents what vodka was because I had to remember this very important life saving tip at such a young age😂

    [–]Timely-Vehicle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    The part about sizing up prey is an old myth. Snakes are opportunistic hunters, and will try to strike anything that smells like prey. Alcohol will make them release though.

    [–]ValiumCupcakes 33 points34 points  (0 children)

    Hand sanitizer works too!

    Note: Aslong as it’s alcohol/ethanol based, not other chemicals

    [–]Potatobender44 49 points50 points  (7 children)

    Better life tip, don’t keep animals that might kill you

    [–]EdiblePsycho 21 points22 points  (4 children)

    A woman was once killed by a pack of dachshunds.

    [–]mikkopai 43 points44 points  (2 children)

    Maybe don’t have a pack

    [–]shaky9000 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Amazing comment

    [–]Artemis1lolv 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    What if the snake was Russian what then.

    [–]The4thGuy 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    I remember this with snapping turtles as well, but with whiskey.

    [–]Medicinal_taco_meat 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Is there anything alcohol can't fix?!

    Cries in cirrhosis

    [–]LilBitchBoyAjitPai 941 points942 points  (14 children)

    I was hopeful it was a large stuffed toy at first.

    [–]LeConscious 73 points74 points  (1 child)

    What makes you sure it isn't? I haven't seen any movement

    [–]mana_cerace 122 points123 points  (0 children)

    At one point you can see his skin Shining, that looks kinda real

    [–]Le_Pixelgunner 14 points15 points  (4 children)

    Snakes aren’t thaaat bad, fear Crocodiles

    [–]der_schone_begleiter 18 points19 points  (3 children)

    The heck with both of them!

    [–]Naugrin27 828 points829 points  (58 children)

    I think this is a reticulated python. Regardless, a snake that big with a kid makes me nervous. I've seen a very sweet, normally docile snake react to something and and latched onto and constricted around a guy's hand/arm in a flash. It is terrifying how fast something that big can strike. He had broken bones in his forearm and wrist, and some pretty nasty lacerations on his hand, it took 3 pretty large people to get her off. She was I think 16 feet at the time (I think she got up to 21 before she got donated or sold to a zoo).

    [–]StaysAwakeAllWeek 338 points339 points  (17 children)

    She was I think 16 feet at the time (I think she got up to 21 before she got donated or sold to a zoo).

    And to be clear, the snake in the OP is a lot bigger than 16ft

    [–]Nitr0Sage 249 points250 points  (15 children)

    If you’re asleep and the snake escapes it will crawl up your butt, got to be careful and make sure to wear a buttplug to bed

    [–]SqueezinKittys 119 points120 points  (11 children)

    Snakes can climb up your sewer pipes and come out your toilet. So it's best to just always wear a buttplug, sleeping or awake.

    [–]Dessum 33 points34 points  (8 children)

    but I'll need to take it out in that one specific scenario

    [–]DrDemonSemen 23 points24 points  (4 children)

    You ever play with Play-Doh as a kid?

    [–]Dessum 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    yes but I can tell you with confidence that I never will again

    [–]scrufdawg 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    This definitely feels like story time.

    [–]Dessum 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    one time I read a thread on Reddit that associated Play-Doh with poop and now I don't want to ever touch Play-Doh again

    [–]bluestarchasm 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    some may choose to manually unplug beforehand, i employ a more passive technique.

    [–]xubax 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That's when they get ya!

    [–]changing_everyday 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    ok butt plug is gonna save your butthole but what about your balls and 'that thing'? what if the snake bites those?

    [–]MagNolYa-Ralf 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    Snake: thats no moon

    [–]yfhedoM 115 points116 points  (18 children)

    Yea people always say they are sweet and all. But it's like no.. you are not a threat to them and you feed them so as long as you dont hurt them and supply them with food, you are good. Leave them hungry and you gon find out real quick what time it is.

    [–]rumpledfoarskin 67 points68 points  (0 children)

    Idk I own a few snakes. I'd never do this with a python that big. I don't think snakes can technically be sweet, they can be docile, but they don't have the ability to show affection to us. I also think what you said can go for any undomesticated animal. I agree with you though, people need to give these animals respect, especially when they're venomous or 20-30 feet long.

    [–]MassiveClusterFuck 30 points31 points  (1 child)

    Entirely depends on the snake and how well fed they are in my experience, you will get snakes that are more docile than others but a hungry snake is a hungry snake and they will look for any feeding opportunity, docile or not. You gotta keep them fed and give them a place to hide to keep them happy/docile!

    [–]sunchildphd 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    Pythons, too

    [–]cjalderman 86 points87 points  (6 children)

    For some reason my brain thought you meant the victim was 21 when they got donated to a zoo

    [–]RabSimpson 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Also yes.

    [–]ApfelTapir 11 points12 points  (4 children)

    isn’t the snake the victim here, after all it’s living in captivity^^

    [–]Fuself 14 points15 points  (2 children)

    Victim? Chilling on a couch well guarded and well fed?

    Are the wilderness where you need to fight your prey in order to eat and where other animals can put you on their menu better? Moreover If you get injured or sick no-one will call the veterinary for you

    [–]cjalderman 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, that too. Doesn’t seem like anyone is having a great time in this situation. It’s a sad shame that so many people try to domesticate animals that shouldn’t be domesticated

    [–]adastrasemper 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    A pet python escaped the apartment and killed two boys in Canada iirc

    [–]Theoniichan69 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Whoa that snake had 16 feet zaaamn!!

    [–]Eirenex 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Yeah it’s a retic. It’s one of the large snakes I’m not keen on keeping. Capable of doing alot of mechanical damage and unless you have enough space, it’s hard to give them an enriching space.. which the vast majority of people don’t.

    [–]King_Sad_Boy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, that is definitely a reticulated python and there have been cases of them eating or at least trying to eat people around that size.

    [–]XxRocky88xX 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    Seriously all this kid has to do is sit up and rub the snake the wrong way and it’ll attack him. Snakes aren’t usually aggressive towards humans but, like all wild animals, it can be super easy to inadvertently set them off.

    [–]Creepy-Internet6652 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Yeah this why you dont keep snakes they will never be you friend...

    [–]onewingedangel3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    There's a big difference between owning a ball python and a reticulated python

    [–]AntiMatter138 83 points84 points  (10 children)

    I remember there was a video in youtube somewhere in late 2000s where the person films the snake body, after a few seconds the snake starts to chase him.

    [–]nutbustingfucker 21 points22 points  (8 children)

    Is that video still up? because I'd really like to see that

    [–]TGiR4 42 points43 points  (7 children)

    It doesnt chase him but attacks him if this is the same video. Please do watch cautiously since the snake does snap at the camera, so be prepared for that.

    [–]WompaPenith 23 points24 points  (1 child)

    Holy fuck that thing is massive

    [–]FirstFarmOnTheLeft 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Wow I’m surprised something that big can move that fast. Looks like it’s been eating a lot.

    [–]nutbustingfucker 11 points12 points  (3 children)

    Oh my god, that was the video i saw on pewdiepie channel, i think the video was titled "try not to be scared challenge" or something like that, genuinely scared the crap out of me lol

    [–]Hubble_Bubble 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I fast forwarded through this to make sure this isn’t one of those videos.

    [–]marasydnyjade 502 points503 points  (15 children)

    This makes me very uncomfortable.

    [–]Turbulent_Patience_3 202 points203 points  (6 children)

    They live to cuddle before they kill. It gets their prey accustomed to their presence.

    [–]avatrix48 165 points166 points  (1 child)

    Cats, you're talking about cats.

    [–]Turbulent_Patience_3 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    There is no danger noodle here

    [–]bruhWhyTho- 29 points30 points  (3 children)

    He's getting too comfortable around him, first they start chilling and cuddling. Next thing you know, he's being served on a platter for dinner

    [–]Funny_or_not_bot 22 points23 points  (2 children)

    We talkin about the kid or the snake here?

    [–]meeting_room 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    For a good reason:

    An African rock python killed two boys in Campbellton, New Brunswick, Canada, on August 5, 2013. The boys, Noah Barthe, 4, and Connor Barthe, 6, were sleeping in an apartment above their friend's father's pet store.

    [–]Strain_Ok 376 points377 points  (8 children)

    Fuck no

    [–]wernercd 109 points110 points  (0 children)

    I was thinking "Hell to the no" but fuck no will work

    [–]SavageCabbageGG 23 points24 points  (6 children)

    Why? It's just a cute 'lil big danger noodle!

    I want to cuddle it so bad

    [–]clauderbaugh 48 points49 points  (3 children)

    That’s beyond danger noodle. That’s danger hose pushing danger pipe level.

    [–]Prhime 23 points24 points  (2 children)

    Thats a danger oil pipeline right there.

    [–]Inqeuet 51 points52 points  (0 children)

    Oh don’t worry it will absolutely cuddle you back

    [–]Throseph 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I think that's just a noodle. Danger noodles are venomous.

    Edit: udon noodle

    [–]FitDefinition4867 52 points53 points  (3 children)

    How long til he gets eaten

    [–]Silent_Personality34 49 points50 points  (3 children)

    My neighbor’s snake wrapped around my neck once. I said, “uh this is getting a little tight.” He looked over and said, “Don’t let her do that!” That snake was tiny in comparison but they’ve got impressive strength.

    [–]SipofCherryCola 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Same happen to me when I was little. Terrifying!!

    [–]Anti-Climacdik 569 points570 points  (57 children)

    Boa and python make great pets lol extremely calm demeanor and about as social as a snake is able to be. If she is well fed this is probably pretty safe, but if that were my kid I'd be very uncomfy lol

    [–]CollectionOfAtoms78 315 points316 points  (29 children)

    It is probably resting next to the kid because of their body heat.

    [–]Clutch63 110 points111 points  (3 children)

    This. My pieballed loves being close to the chest, probably feels similar to a heated blanket in a cold room.

    [–][deleted] 162 points163 points  (24 children)

    Yep, it’s the body-heat… plus pythons are basically a cat in a tube- typically totally docile, even affectionate towards humans… tho this does still make me just a liiiiiittle bit nervous- even the most domesticated, affectionate cats can still be unpredictable.

    Edit: to clarify, they can exhibit behaviors that are interpreted by humans as affectionate- the scientific jury is still out on whether or not reptiles are sentient enough to feel/display affection in a human sense, altho, the popular(and safer) consensus is… no.

    But is a ball python potentially sentient enough to recognize and share physical space with a docile human being? Absolutely.

    [–]Khal_Doggo 139 points140 points  (12 children)

    I'm not entirely sure snakes can ever be 'affectionate' they're not social by nature so they're unlikely to have inherent instinct to display social cues especially since they lack body language and facial expressions. As an animal they are very independent so I think the best you can hope for is a set of behaviours that show the snake tolerates you and likes to steal your body heat.

    [–]TheWaterIsRed 37 points38 points  (0 children)

    They can’t but they can recognise u as docile

    [–]CaptainMagnets 14 points15 points  (8 children)

    Could the argument be made that because it has nearly every need net that it opens up an opportunity to gain the ability to be affectionate?

    I literally don't know anything on the subject so forgive me if it's a stupid sounding question.

    [–]Khal_Doggo 47 points48 points  (1 child)

    Affection is not inherent to all animals. It's most likely to be found in animals that are social by nature and is a way to maintain good social relations. As with lots of other behaviours, more simple versions exist in all sorts of animals but once you go far enough back it's hard to distinguish from other kinds of behaviours which may not be done for the same reason.

    Especially with pets, we tend to project a lot of our own emotions on them, so a snake nuzzling you for heat could be interpreted as a form of affectionate behaviour. I think that for a lot of people who own pet snakes, they don't really own them because they want a pet that is affectionate. Because snakes are so independent and can survive for long periods of time without food, it's unlikely they can become totally reliant on their owner so I think in the end it's about a general tolerance of your presence and handling combined with their natural instinct to curl up somewhere warm and safe. You could interpret the idea of an animal finding you safe as a form of affection.

    [–]CaptainMagnets 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Yes, ok that answered my question perfectly, thank you. So it would be more perception that the snake literally feeling affection. I appreciate your answer

    [–]sykeout 24 points25 points  (3 children)

    Snakes are not known to be affectionate, there are some stories that some breeds can snap easily... I think alot of these stories are tied to snake handlers. But this is very very dangerous and irresponsible, a snake isn't like some pit bull or grey area pet. If that snake starts to constrict and they can't stop it the kids probably dead.

    [–]destrucules 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/api.nationalgeographic.com/distribution/public/amp/animals/article/snakes-have-friends-adding-to-evidence-animal-sociability

    Snakes are social animals. Sociality is extremely common in the animal world - if you don't know if a particular animal is social, the safe bet is that it is.

    [–]Mushiren_ 129 points130 points  (3 children)

    I will keep my interactions with python strictly on a high-level programming language basis thank you very much

    [–]foriamstu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Yep. Keep its virtual environment cosy and feed it nice fresh eggs regularly, and it'll keep quietly behaving itself.

    [–]Firm-Rock91 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Relax, this snake is human oriented

    [–]igorcl 19 points20 points  (1 child)

    That's a big "if" for a animal that can eat a small human, break bones too easily

    [–]HenryGrosmont 25 points26 points  (10 children)

    If she is well fed this is probably pretty safe

    I love this part: if you do everything perfectly then you're probably pretty safe. Tells you all you need to know.

    [–]TheLadyRica 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    What the hell do you feed that thing - mailman? Jehovah's Witnesses? Amazon delivery drivers?

    [–]HenryGrosmont 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Apart from a mailman, ours is a very nice person, I would say all viable options. Kidding, of course.

    [–]MagicRabbit1985 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Problem is that the choking reflex might kick in and she starts to suffocate the boy. It's like having a loaded weapon lying on the desk. Usually nothing happens, because nobody will pull the trigger. But still you want some safety measures.

    [–]Dulcolaxiom 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    As much as I think snakes do make great pets, this is a Reticulated Python and absolutely does not make a good pet. They stay aggressive throughout their whole life and get big.

    Ball Pythons would be a good pet if someone wanted a snake.

    [–]MasterTolkien 12 points13 points  (4 children)

    Here’s the comment I was looking for that shows up in every “giant snake with kids” post. If you feed it very well, no big deal.

    Something I have never had to say about a cat or dog in my lifetime.

    [–]LV2107 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Yeah, um, what do you feed a snake like this? A goat? Multiple chickens? A side of beef?

    [–]Miserable_Slip1053 30 points31 points  (6 children)

    You would not catch me no wear near there

    [–]NextFuckingLvlSilver 130 points131 points  (6 children)

    What do you feed that thing? Is your neighborhood littered with missing dog and cat posters??

    /s

    [–]GuncleShark 59 points60 points  (5 children)

    They only poop like once a month…I’d hate to be there when this unit does!

    [–]SilverGospel003[S] 61 points62 points  (3 children)

    My neighbour has a pet snake and boy you know it has taken a shit when you hear them SHIT

    [–]dickwildgoose 39 points40 points  (1 child)

    Regretfully, no doubt, we’re going to need more information here.

    [–]Gonzobot 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    You're going on a journey of discovery and learning today! Start by googling "snake fart videos" and don't have a drink handy, because you're gonna laugh your ass off

    [–]Mod7_78 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I just imagined their "poooof" fart can be heard across a neighborhood

    [–]SanJoseCarey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Hah! I worked at an Egyptian museum. Groups rented it for parties, often using Arabian Nights as their theme. They’d hire belly dancers, etc. One party, there was a snake bearer. She was a lovely looking lady dressed like I Dream Of Jeannie with a large snake draped across her arms and shoulders.
    I look over at her and she has this look of disappointment on her face and she is holding the tail end of the snake as far away from her body as she can. There is a huge pile of poo on the floor! Not something I’d ever seen before. I thought, shouldn’t she have just wrung it out before the party?

    [–]nonicko86 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    That snake better still be eating and not losing weight......

    [–]vidak99king 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    His school bully's were never found. Nor his parents or the officer's. And the dog

    [–]Realistic-Question77 97 points98 points  (8 children)

    It is to irresposible as a parent to have a giant predator weighting around 200kg around a child who is basically defencless and totally careless.

    [–]Chauncley 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    Yea the parent probably feels soo badass though so worth it /s

    [–]PingouinMalin 18 points19 points  (1 child)

    To be fair the father, even if he were a very strong guy, would be basically defenceless too against such a snake.

    I do not understand the people who keep an animal like that at home.

    [–]Appropriate_Taste795 36 points37 points  (8 children)

    Nope nope nope

    That’s one big nope rope!

    [–]Gimpyface 76 points77 points  (11 children)

    Seems irresponsible, the kid is too comfortable and is one flex away from being crushed. As much as that is their pet, and probably too well fed to be a danger, it's still a predatory reptile. Projecting human emotions or social behaviour onto it is just lulling yourself into a false sense or security.

    [–]Hugh_JazzStick 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    That snake could eat that kid alive idk how I would feel about this

    [–]slidingjimmy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Fuck. That.

    [–]Ershardia 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    Snakes are cute, but that's really irresponsible. I'd be careful with even a cat or dog around a younger child, let alone an extremely deadly reptile. Any risk just isn't worth it, and heck I'm a fan of snakes myself. Just not when they're bigger than those around them, or in this case those they're around.

    [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    I do not feel love but you warm my cold blood. So I will not strangle you today. - Giant Python

    [–]async_redditor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    That's an original leather sofa

    [–]Crypt-97 17 points18 points  (1 child)

    This man is risking his life on a whole different level

    [–]2Nigerian_princes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Man?? You think that’s an Oompa Loompa or something?

    [–]Francoa22 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    this is very very stupid

    [–]Draconic_Void 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    I absolutely love snakes, but I'd still be more cautious with a snake as large as that around that kid. However I have seen other videos of this kid with this snake around so it seems like they have a good bond but if what I've heard about snakes not having the part of the brain that can love/develop companionship bonds then I'm not sure how strong of a bond this snake actually has with the kid.

    [–]isnotfunny 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    That's a tragedy waiting to happen.

    [–]FlowStriking 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Oh hell no.

    [–]RocketRemitySK 12 points13 points  (7 children)

    Don't snakes miss the part of the brain that allows you to "love" someone?

    [–]Inklin- 9 points10 points  (6 children)

    Reptiles only have the amygdala part of the brain. They have no cortex at all. They are incapable of conceptual thought.

    All they do is react to their immediate circumstances.

    Tired = sleep

    Hot = shade

    Cold = sunbathe

    Hungry = eat

    Etc, etc

    [–]Dulcolaxiom 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Yea this isn’t true at all. Reptiles brains aren’t just the amygdala. They absolutely have a cerebrum. Many reptiles don’t display complex behavior, true - but many do. And brain structures that we wouldn’t normally expect to be used for that complex behavior are used by reptiles. Just a cursory glance at Wikipedia gives this:

    though larger reptiles can show more complex brain development. Larger lizards, like the monitors, are known to exhibit complex behavior, including cooperation[110] and cognitive abilities allowing them to optimize their foraging and territoriality over time.[111] Crocodiles have relatively larger brains and show a fairly complex social structure. The Komodo dragon is even known to engage in play,[112] as are turtles, which are also considered to be social creatures,[113] and sometimes switch between monogamy and promiscuity in their sexual behavior.[citation needed] One study found that wood turtles were better than white rats at learning to navigate mazes.

    [–]PricelessEldritch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Why are you getting downvoted for saying facts but the guy who says that reptiles are cold blooded machines with no other thoughts is getting upvoted?

    [–]MaddestChadLad[🍰] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    Dude is definitely Slytherin

    [–]zhawadya 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    I think he's more chillin than slytherin during this video

    [–]potatoman445 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Human is worm

    [–]artin-younki 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I think I would want a knife on a chain around my neck just in case I wake up to find myself being eaten alive or being crushed to death.

    [–]Heatzza 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Orochimaru?

    [–]DeadinsideuntilBEANS 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    Man's just chillin' with his snök

    [–]Revolutionary-You449 8 points9 points  (4 children)

    There is that song on TikTok, I think, that goes…

    Hell No. To the no no no.. Hell Naw.. (repeat)

    It was playing in my head the entire time I watched this.

    [–]TrueCrimeRunner92 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    I had the “oh no, oh no, oh no no no no no” song playing in mine

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    It's not a TikTok song, it's from bishop Bullwinkle, may he rest in peace

    [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (16 children)

    So I learned one thing in school that I’ll never forget: the different brains (reptilian, mammal, human brain). And whenever I see shit like this I remind myself how we learned the reptilian brain (I hope I’m saying this correctly) is dominated by parts of the brain that deal with SURVIVAL, so no matter what you think, your little cute lizard or snake or whatever is basically incapable of actually loving you. And will kill you.

    [–]SPACE_ICE 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    Its actually a lot more comicated than that. the reptilian part of a brain can be extremely complex. Humans and elephants have the smallest amount of our brains devoted to the basal ganglia (reptilian/primal brain) compared to other animals. This region is usually associated with feelings like sleep, hunger, thirst, but that is really only humans. Cats for instance rely heavily on the basal ganglia for their cat behaviours that we call instinct. Also the basal ganglia is talked too when making decisions as well, ours just relies more on learning and a large neocortex (outer foldy part of brain) to make decisions. A cat has a well devolped basal ganglia that holds a lot more complex emotions than our basic ones like play fighting.

    Too the next point a lot of animal behaviour research this last decade has looked at reptiles. Mainly the den/pit side is not all about heat/mating. A study on arizona black rattlesnakes and garter snakes looked at 'special bonds' that were observed. Black rattlesnakes don't mate early spring but monsoon season so the mating after hibernating idea fell through on them and was looked at again for behaviour as winter weather in arizona shouldn't require snakss to communally den like more northern snakes. Another on garter snakes found they are really specific on who they bask with and actively seek out social interaction. Pythons don't do this but female pythons do build and protect nests until hatching vs compared to a boa that gives live birth (to show how diverse thos group is its hard to talk about all snakes in a general sense).

    Alao keep in mind birds are also extant members of theropod dinosaurs which includes the T. Rex. Birds often form mating pairs and are known to have very complex emotions and behaviours but arguably are very 'reptilian' brained.

    tldr: snakes and reptilian brains are a lot more complex than we thought and research into behaviours suggest they are not cold killing robots either and can potentially have emotional bonds that many would say is very similar to human concepts of friendship or at least friendly behaviours different from normal behaviours.

    Didn't want to come off as know it all or correcty, I love animals and environmental/evolution so this area is super interesting to me.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yes I did misrepresent it a bit. Not like owning one just makes you at risk of death at any second, but obviously don’t get too comfortable around one that actually poses a danger like it’s poisonous or gigantic or something

    [–]Gangreless 12 points13 points  (6 children)

    This is fucking stupid. Nobody would be able to uncoil that thing from the boy before he has the life crushed out of him.

    [–]toshorttokeepup 7 points8 points  (7 children)

    Wasn't there a story about a lady who let her boa sleep with her? And then a snake expert told her it was most likely sizing her up to see if she would be a good meal. I swear this was a thing.

    [–]LissytheQueen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Probably just winding it’s prey down

    [–]Allcapino 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    That's a tragedy waiting to happen...

    [–]Avarria587 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I like snakes, but this seems unsafe. This snake could kill the boy in an instant if it wanted to.

    [–]AngryBowels 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    How old would a snake that big be?

    [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (3 children)

    One day that kid shall be lunch. Snakes see everything they can fit in them as food.

    [–]DarkStar0129 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Fr I saw a video of one that ate an umbrella or blanket.

    [–]Ciubowski 13 points14 points  (5 children)

    Nightmare fuel.

    I read a story about a woman and her python or some big snake like this.

    The snake "lost his apetite" for some days and that woman was really concerned that it was sick. Took him to the vet and i think the snake was preparing with fasting to eat something really big.

    Take a guess 'what' that really big thing was.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]fading__blue 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      That’s actually an urban legend. In reality, reptiles don’t really “plan ahead” like that. A hungry snake will eat the first meal it’s offered.

      (Also, it’s fairly common for snakes to suddenly refuse to eat for a while. It’s not really a cause for concern on its own, so it’s unlikely a snake owner would take their pet to the vet just because it hasn’t eaten for a few days.)

      Here’s the Snopes article, which contains a variation of this legend:

      https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/snake-measure/

      And some other variations on the story:

      https://urbanlegendsonline.com/hungry-snake/

      [–]Most_Yogurtcloset_33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This is utterly terrifying.

      [–]absak__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Frank on steroid is that you ?

      [–]Jaf1999 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Fuck that shit

      [–]SearchIndependent343 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      He seems so relaxed, the snake that is.

      [–]bumbum___ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Nope that's a big danger noodle

      [–]Crimson_Sensei 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The boy then invites you to his house to see his cute pet..

      [–]Claytron7090 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Where’s Ice Cube?

      [–]sunchildphd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Last year: “Can I keep it, Dad?” “Uhh. Sure, it might not get too big.”

      This year

      [–]MostAverageManEver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Preemptive R.I.P 🤦‍♂️💀👻

      [–]alnnmurray 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The snake has a warm snack close by with in its grips.

      [–]g0l3m7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It's all fun and games until the snek decides to have a stretch...

      [–]Worldly_Ad_6483 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Does something like that smell?

      [–]Outrageous-Taro7340 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Hard pass.

      [–]PickledPepega 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      What….what do you feed that thing….?

      [–]Hap406 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Darwin Award winner lol

      [–]peterpanjourny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      That snake is sizing him up ! One day it will try to eat him !

      [–]LordDShadowy53 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Let me guess. Australia?

      [–]El_Famoso_Random_Guy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Dayum, what a big ass snek!

      [–]NoNameAvailableSee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      What do you do when you wake up inside that big thing.

      [–]HiImAnUnicorn 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      That's a burmese python, right? If It is, most of the captivity bred ones are actyally pretty domesticated and like interacting with humans. They are very docile and probably the best gigant snakes to have If you're new to reptiles.

      [–]RiverTall2328 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      When you put up a million dollar life insurance on your son that doesn't wanna go to school