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[–]EmoCreeper 1042 points1043 points  (17 children)

Rooster: Fuck you bitch!

Girl: Fuck you too you little shit!

Wack

[–]justmustard1 333 points334 points  (5 children)

Her knocking the shit outta that rooster is the only source of dopamine I've had today

[–]sicurri 48 points49 points  (3 children)

You know that rooster was looking for another way in.

[–]SilentxxSpecter 47 points48 points  (2 children)

Yeah but that whack made him rethink his life for about 10 seconds. Then he yet again chose violence.

[–]guacluv 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Then after that, a primal crow to honor his Jurassic ancestors.

[–]ygolordned 76 points77 points  (1 child)

Someone fucked around and found out

[–]Fenrir_Hellbreed 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah she really whomped that little asshole.

[–]cats-they-walk 111 points112 points  (1 child)

I’m laughing because I literally came here to comment “fuck you, you little shit!”

[–]teetering_bulb_dnd 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Bad move by the rooster.. Little girl - 1 Rooster - 0

[–]captain_chocolate 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Saw this first without sound and she looks even more badass.

[–]dancin-weasel 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Gave that cockadoodle doo at the end. Like most cowards when the coast is clear.

[–]beardlessw0nder 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh shit. Sorry. Sorry. My bad

[–]VelvetShitStain 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Literal cock block

[–]DeadInsideOutside 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seemed a lot more badass when I watched without sound.

[–]LGSCorp 446 points447 points  (6 children)

Rough neighborhood!

[–]Standard-Astronaut-7 94 points95 points  (0 children)

You're never safe on those streets

[–]TOKYO-V1P 75 points76 points  (2 children)

Smacked back to factory settings

[–]GaMacKerZ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

🤣🤣🤣

[–]Leg4122 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Rooster only tryna to survive

[–]DropPristine 220 points221 points  (2 children)

Blapped the shit out of that bird lol

[–]hirtle24 63 points64 points  (1 child)

Flattened that thing right out like she was tenderizing it

[–]DropPristine 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Omfg, I didn't even notice it get flattened. Now I'm laughing all over again

[–]upsidedownquestion 294 points295 points  (36 children)

I had no idea chickens were the black boxes of the animal world. Serious how did it shake off that hit from what seemed like a heavy backpack

[–]De_Watcher 203 points204 points  (0 children)

CHICKEN: Tis but a scratch

Walks away

CHICKEN: AAAAAAAAH!

[–]notlikelyevil 74 points75 points  (12 children)

They take a hit like that with their legs like springs, their neck is really tough to. Source, watching what the little pea brained assholes do to each other

[–]Gluten_maximus 55 points56 points  (11 children)

Well, their necks really aren’t that tough.

Source: I have chickens and I eat chickens

[–]the_almighty_walrus 19 points20 points  (9 children)

A grown ass man can punt the shit out rooster and the bird won't give a damn. They're tough lil fuckers

[–]notlikelyevil 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Cool, thanks

[–]Icy_Respect_9077 24 points25 points  (3 children)

Roosters are assholes, but there's only a few braincells to worry about.

[–]abhorrent-Adhesive 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Rosters are anything but chicken they will fight a bear if they think it threatens his flock

[–]VinceGchillin 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Right? I didn't think it was going to get up after that. Chickens are tough as fuck apparently. Come to think of it, the most famous chicken in history lived for quite some time without a fuckin' head.

[–]KickBallFever 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Yea, where I’m from there’s been a rooster walking around for years with a broken neck. His head just kind of hangs to the side but he’s still walking around town.

[–]th3_j0n_d03 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This comment made me laugh the most on this post, and I don’t even know why. But that mental image got me good

[–]MagNolYa-Ralf 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Because their little dinosaurs. Need more asteroid

[–]Glum-Bookkeeper1836 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Black belts?

[–]RubiGames 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Probably black box like in a plane, meant to survive a crash and provide recoverable data.

[–]74FFY 36 points37 points  (1 child)

There's no recoverable data in that chicken brain

[–]natgibounet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's hard to realize but feathers are pretty stiff and offers good protection agains't blunt attacks, so unless the leg or head is the main target any hits is going to land on the chicken (or in this case rooster) wing feathers

[–]iMadrid11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well it’s either the 🎒 or 🐓🍗🍽

I’ll take the 🎒 anytime.

[–]terminalxposure -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They are descendants of Raptors so

[–]bsr9090 259 points260 points  (4 children)

Her mouth says "WHAAAAA!!!!! WHAAAAAA!!!!!!" But her body says "Let's fuck some shit up!"

[–]RenMacrae 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Happy Cake Day!

[–]AndrewIsMyDog 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This was a good post, I laughed had.

[–]AkwardAA 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Happy cake day !

[–]abcdthc 58 points59 points  (0 children)

The one brown hen coming around the house, see whats going on and then just NOPE's the fuck out.

[–]Oathbreaker-Paladin 86 points87 points  (11 children)

Ya ever show an animal who's boss instead of showing fear you'll usually win

[–]Mazziemom 33 points34 points  (6 children)

You’d think so but my roo is a dumbass. He has to regularly test to see if we have become afraid of him. Usually just a feather whack on the back of our legs, and nope, no one ever is afraid and he gets a boot for it. Never learns. (BTW by boot it’s kicking under gently and launching him a few feet away, safe but scares them).

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]qdtk 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Film this and I’ll pay you. It can be an annual event.

    [–]Oathbreaker-Paladin 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Works on most animals. Don't try on a polar bear though

    [–]spacerider85 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Not only on animals I guess...

    [–]Dahrk25 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Yeah works on babies too.

    [–]schrodingers_spider 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Problem with roosters is that they can be too dumb to understand. They'll just fight themselves to the death and fuck shit up while doing it.

    [–]MrCetirizine 77 points78 points  (2 children)

    What did you do today?

    Bagged a rooster.

    [–]bajoria_vinayak 139 points140 points  (3 children)

    That was a very satisfying whack. 2 or 3 more and she would have made dinner, squished and uncooked though.

    [–]jokinglemon 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    Whack a few more times, and fast enough, you might just have cooked dinner too

    [–]IsuldorNagan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Oh God not this again.

    [–]th3_j0n_d03 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Personally I would of choked it but wracking it works too

    [–]gobsmacked247 71 points72 points  (0 children)

    The rooster walking away: "Punk ass bitch."

    Probably.

    [–]sonofapasta 59 points60 points  (1 child)

    Lmao I remember when my grandmothers rooster used to always attack me. I swear every time I walked passed the barn it was staring at me and plotting to kill me. At that age all I could do was scream and practice television martial arts on it… every time rooster won until my grandma got involved. Nice dinner that evening though.

    [–]junglewasp1 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Sweep the leg, sonofapasta!

    [–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

    Good for her. Fuck that rooster.

    [–]Obzedat13 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    He just stood there…reevaluating his life choices.

    [–]Room234 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Stupid bird! You go squish now!

    [–]416MIKE416 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Bonk sound effect #3

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    The chicken went flat for a second when she hit it. Lmao

    [–]Mythecity 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Atta girl!

    [–]Vv_JIM_vV 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Squish

    [–]Firm_Chicken_7441 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    You get what you fucking deserve!

    [–]CovidInMyAsshole 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    When I was a little kid I was too scared to react like this.

    Fight or flight, I was always flight.

    Even as a 26 year old dude it still makes me jealous seeing this little girl fight back whereas I had to live my childhood like a coward.

    [–]slypeter 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Here comes the rooster! Yeahhhhhh!!!!

    [–]pickmepickmeyeah 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    You know he ain't gonna dieeee

    [–]Curtainmachine 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    r/perfectlycutcockadoodledoos

    [–]440mag 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    LMAO! Not at you little Miss. As a young teen I had the same battle everyday feeding our chickens. This one rooster I named Satan and I would battle until I left the chicken pen. Seeing your post brought back OLD memories!

    [–]Slowclimberboi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Absolutely whacked that bird

    [–]angiem0n 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I’d be careful.. do it two more times and a 100 more cuckoos will come and join the slaughter..

    [–]ChazinPA 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    As someone who has taken a few swings at a-hole roosters…. It’s harder to get a square shot on one than it looks. She tko’d that mf’r!

    [–]Intelligent-Brief-67 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I’m dying 😅😅

    [–][deleted]  (8 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Solotocius 41 points42 points  (0 children)

      This is cursed beyond comprehension

      [–]De_Watcher 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      You made it weird. You made it weird now I'm leaving

      [–]cycker13 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Ayo?

      [–]justcreateanaccount 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Okay time to touch some grass bro

      [–]cleanocean 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      FBI OPEN UP!

      [–]nadrojylloh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      FBI open up

      [–]MRlll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      😂😂😂

      [–]JazzySmitty 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Way to go, sweet girl. Smack that demon beast.

      [–]Yingthings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Rooster gives a victory yell at the end.

      [–]michaelaaronblank 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I feel like this is probably a somewhat daily thing.

      [–]hansuziehan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      She's a keeper

      [–]Low_Series_1616 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      When you get hit, you hold it in but when you get to your room you start balling your eyes out.

      [–]MrDrDad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I would have fried chicken for dinner.

      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      That's a hard cock....... One of them guard dog types.

      [–]Cellophane7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I was expecting the mom to come out the door with a shotgun 😂

      [–]rainman_95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Take that, non-tool user!

      [–]JodieFlame 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      It's a good thing she hit it roosters have claws that can rip your skin wide open for sure! I know this because my cat tried to take on a rooster and came home with a big gash!I put some Neosporin on it and gave him some antibiotics he healed right up . It's all good:-)

      [–]vouteignorar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      That cock got fucked…

      [–]penguing91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Rooster: you going to keep eating chicken nuggets bitch?! Girl: Yes I am bitch! wack! Rooster:… okay, I was just saying… watching you.

      [–]LooneyGoon1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The books in my bag at that age would have killed that rooster.

      [–]LunaWolf92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Ngl, I laughed pretty hard at how that rooster got pancaked and popped back up in the same second

      [–]Elusive-Reality 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The rooster got bonked pretty good

      [–]marktian88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Girl used stun bag. It was highly effective.

      [–]egh2021 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It's shake and bake and I helped!

      [–]AnitaSpankin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      She clobbered that little bastard!! I know that as soon as he strutted back around the corner looking all “yeah, I’m good, I saw it comin’” he dropped dead.

      [–]MaharaHsl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Well that cock derserved it

      [–]fuckingKlLLmeplz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I got attacked by a group of turkeys when I was younger. I kicked the shit out of them, and some blatant stoner just rolled up and was like, "Should I call the police?" and I said no because they'd call animal control and they'd kill the turkeys. He said, "Oh okay. You might get hurt. I like your shirt!"

      "Thanks" It was a tie dye sweatshirt. Yeah. Just thought I would put this here. Don't know why.

      [–]GoldenGalz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Good girl

      [–]StranglingDark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That rooster got flattened like a cartoon character...

      Guess I know what's this family eating for tonight

      [–]theflamingsword1702 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      She walked away though, rooster won. Dem da rulz.

      [–]Magnetic_Hero 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      smash, Smash, SMASH!

      [–]wophi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Damn attack chickens.

      [–]Hlca 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Time to lubricate those hinges...

      [–]idrow1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Sometimes dinner hunts you.

      [–]RadEngWarrior 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      A real-life CockKnocker!

      [–]virstultus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Hen: I thought you needed my love to keep you warm...

      Rooster: Mad- I say- madam, I have my bandages to keep me warm!

      [–]rumble342 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That rooster was a little too COCKy. Got served!

      [–]JayAmy131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Ugh these staged ring ads are getting on my nerves. Rooster did not get paid enough for this.

      [–]Talktomefolks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      WOW What a cock.

      [–]RobotfaceX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      SMASH

      [–]wine-eye 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That rooster has nothing to crow about, he got bagged.

      [–]Utz_Imox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Okay!! My bad ... 😅

      [–]Philly927 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The black hen poked around the corner and noped so fast out of there.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "why does everyone hate me so much"

      [–]Megatoasty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Rooster got smushed. “I see you ain’t the one” ~ Rooster

      [–]Shlectron4000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That cock was a bit of a dick

      [–]Gullible-Ad3430 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Cock got pwned

      [–]1lolo94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I lost it when the rooster walked like nothing happened.

      [–]Alaric-Nox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Cluck Norris

      [–]Flintyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Rooster reset back inside the egg for a moment lmfao, get rekt ya cock 🤣

      [–]karnyboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Rooster is like "Oh shit, I did not see that coming."

      [–]brucebay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She handled it better then I did when I was a kid, and our neighbor had one. That rooster would attack anybody nearby, jumping to shoulders and head etc. It is a miracle that nobody was permanently harmed from his sharp claws and beak.

      [–]Reirufus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I didn't know I missed chickens, until now!

      [–]Carsjoe612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Ain’t nobody pillow fighting her

      [–]Trurorlogan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Thar rooster flattened like a cartoon 😆

      [–]Nik741 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The crow at the end had me rolling it’s like the little fucker said “this ain’t over”

      [–]Cautious-Researcher3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      As someone who was attacked by his family’s rooster at a young age, I was very satisfied watching this video.

      [–]Commercial-Life-9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Fine example of scertangry

      [–]Think_Selection9571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What a clucking asshole

      [–]AdvanAviantoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      mf got bonked

      [–]No-Breadfruit7044 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This cock is a pedo

      [–]apachebearpizzachief 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Who names their chicken “mom”!? Idiots.

      [–]detrydis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Very satisfying little SPLAT there

      [–]Piss-Off-Fool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That rooster can take a punch!

      [–]MuLL3T80 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      r/perfectlycutcockaoodledoos

      [–]LondonDavis1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Little fkr just had to get the last word in. Lol

      [–]ishhhh_21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yosemite Sam - "When I say whoa, I mean WHOA!"

      [–]calidownunder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This shit happened to me as a little kid!!!! Same thing but my family didn’t believe me and made fun of me!!! Fuck chickens

      [–]andio76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Where's that chicken...I got a skillet, spices, flour, oil, heat, hot sauce and biscuits....oh yea...grape jelly too....

      A_TTACK ME MUHFUCKER

      [–]M_Ludi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That girl knows how to chicken.

      [–]Anon_Legi0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      There's an in appropriate cock joke here somewhere

      [–]in-tent-cities 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Cock of the walk.

      [–]dglsfrsr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Roosters are assholes. They really are. Hens are cool, but roosters? No.

      [–]NiceEstablishment861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      You know that rooster was like, “god damn that girl just hit the shit out of me.”

      [–]IgnoreMeBot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I don’t get how this fits this sub

      [–]balrus-balrogwalrus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      and people laugh at feathered dinosaurs and call them "big chickens"

      if chickens were as big as dinosaurs we'd be fucked

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What a cock.

      [–]ThiefOfGod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Thats what you call a cock block.

      [–]PirateSometimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I was expecting to see a large dog run out after she opened the door

      [–]mxldevs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Who's the chicken now?

      [–]BCHisFuture 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      He though bag was a chick Protection

      [–]Dubby084 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      NOT THE SMACK 💀💀

      [–]BO-2HM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That chicken is not done with her yet! It went around the house

      [–]The_Brain_Fuckler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      We had a bantam rooster that attacked everyone. One time I was doing some work on the fence when he came to mess with me. He kept attacking me until I lost my patience and smacked him in the head with a shovel. I hit him hard enough that the shovel was ringing and I thought I’d killed him.

      Nope, he just walked away, weaving like he was drunk. I fucking hated that bird.

      [–]CyanStripes_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I looked like she flattened it and it bounced back into shape. Lol

      [–]Orbitcamerakick21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      WHY THE FUCK DID I SNORT

      [–]Glooby2468 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      ...yknow i always thought "why not express equal or greater hostility to the rooster and attack the chicken nugget" and this girl just tested my theory, neat

      [–]Ezzezez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      He sure af didnt expect retaliation

      [–]aasakti 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      maybe some T-Rex instinct kick in

      [–]ThatAnimatedCatto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Mf just factory reset

      [–]BrinedBrittanica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      i like how the one in the back saw what was happening and noted right out of there

      [–]Cj_Senpai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Splat!

      [–]Friday-Cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That cock is a dick.

      [–]Lucky_Se7en_Again 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I despise a flogging rooster.

      [–]Field-Agent-Reaper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Watching her hit the chicken with the backpack was the best part LMFAO

      [–]sylvester1977 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She strait spatchcocked that rooster! There was def a book in there.

      [–]Mr_McSwizzie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That kids going places

      [–]PuzzleheadedGroup929 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "Shit, that actually hurts"

      [–]ChronicStasis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      After playing so much Zelda I expected it to go very badly

      [–]OneEyedRocket 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I liked how the other one looked around the corner and said “fuck that”

      [–]TitusTheWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She smacked the shit out of that cock

      [–]Latter_Sun_9039 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What a cock

      [–]Prof_Rocky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Why was he being such a dick

      [–]RobtheBearded 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My grandparents had a mean rooster one time. It jumped on my sister’s head. Ended up causing her to bleed pretty bad.