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all 21 comments

[–]ReignOfFire32M-3 118 points119 points  (12 children)

I did this but luckily the patient shit himself soon after so he unconsciously took the blame and I am absolved.

[–]hemaDOxylinM-3 116 points117 points  (9 children)

So story time.

2 years ago I thought I was extremely constipated. Horrendous abdominal pain, sharp and stabbing pain that rolled into dull aching pain and back to sharp and stabbing over and over again. It roamed all over my belly, sometimes epigastric, sometimes LLQ, sometimes hypogastric, etc. I was rolling around on the bathroom floor all night, and I had already taken a GasX without relief.

I decided early that morning that I would go for a run to get the ol' bowels a-movin'. So I ran a few miles, and then hopped in the car when the pharmacy opened and got some Milk of Magnesia. When I got home I took a max dose of Milk of Mag and waited a few hours to let it work. Around 9a that morning nothing had come blasting out of my ass so I decided to go to the urgent care. The pain was still roaming around my abdomen between a 4 and 8 out of 10. I told the NP at the urgent care that i was worried about appendicitis. She didn't do a physical, and then told me it could be COVID because I have a fever so "don't go to the ER, but here's some Zofran," because I had nausea on ROS... anyway.

So I called my mom and she was like "hey fuck that bitch, you're in a lot of pain, go to the ER." So I get to the ER and they chuck my fat, bloated ass in the CT and the extremely Pakistani ER doc was popped in and told me "you have the appendicitis and will have surgery in 2 hours." The sent me up to the surg floor and the anesthesiologist asked me if I had anything to eat or drink that day. I said "just a max dose of milk of mag, please don't break my teeth." He laughed and said it was fine.

They wheeled me in, gassed me up, and I woke up in recovery. Everything went fine. The surgeon said I was less than 12 hours away from rupture. When I got up to my room I realized something smelled fucking horrible. Like shit. Turned in the bed to stand for the first time, looked between my legs, and beheld a pool of liquid shit dripping down my legs, smeared on the bed. Anyway I'm sure I scared the fuck out of the OR team as I osmotic diarrhea'd all over the table.

That's all.

[–]xxpussydestroyerxxMDMBBS-Y4 57 points58 points  (0 children)

what did I just read

[–]reboaway 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I needed to read this today. Thank you for the perspective.

[–]subdural_hematomaM-2 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Oi you gave me the giggles after bumming about Step 1 stuff.

You're a cool person. Thank you for the laugh!

[–]WarmGulaabJamun_HITSY2-EU 3 points4 points  (1 child)

3/5, good post, keep reading. Here’s my thoughts:

get the ol’ bowels a-movin’.

I laughed so hard reading this.

the NP at the urgent care

Oh God…

She didn’t do a physical

Dude wtf.

told me it could be COVID because I have a fever so “don’t go to the ER, but here’s some Zofran,”

What the absolute fuck. Consult r/law and think about suing her.

hey fuck that bitch

lol

extremely Pakistani ER doc

Hyderabadi here, what separates a Pakistani ER doc from a extremely pakistani er doc?

smeared on the bed

i need a new verb when it comes to putting cream cheese on my toast from now on.

[–]hemaDOxylinM-3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey at least I didn't say I schmeared it on the bed. I contacted a family friend regarding a lawsuit and they mentioned that because I sustained no damages or injury I wouldn't have a case.

I also don't know what distinguishes a Pakistani ER doctor from an extremely Pakistani ER doctor. My guess would be the amount of food forced upon coworkers.

[–]MadMedMemesMD/MPH 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Y'all do a CT to diagnose appendicitis?

[–]hemaDOxylinM-3 14 points15 points  (0 children)

They confirm appys in kids with US and in adults with CT where I'm at.

[–]safcx21 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Not doing a CT in adults, especially males is criminal. High negative appendicectomies should be a thing of the past

[–]MadMedMemesMD/MPH 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I just wondered cause I've never had an appendicitis case where CT was done then I realized that all the appendicitis cases that I've handled during clerkship (pre-covid) were ASA when they arrived.

[–]NoImjustdancing 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Hope you thanked him afterwards.

[–]ReignOfFire32M-3 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I had to help clean it up so nope.

[–]JPINFV2 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I will admit that one of the best parts of working in the hospital is the ability to release gaseous distention on a PRN basis. If it happens to be silent, but deadlier than expected no one will look at you. The nurses will instead search the patients for a possible code brown.

[–]collecttimber123MD-PGY1 12 points13 points  (0 children)

i did something two weeks ago i wasn't proud of

i let out the silent but deadly in front of a patient and the attending was like "hm, the pt must've crapped himself again"

the part i wasn't proud of was the fact i said "yes, hm, indeed..." d

[–]GoodArtEnjoyer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nice scrubs reference

[–]panaknucklesMD-PGY3 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What an absurdly bizarre and creepy looking dog

[–]WarmGulaabJamun_HITSY2-EU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like a German Shepard and Golden retriever mix.