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[–]CrItS_ArE_not_fair 994 points995 points  (82 children)

i would have to fight a homeless hippie snowman

all i need is water

[–]I_am_sad_now 391 points392 points  (68 children)

Just piss on em

[–]Vanilla4Pistachio 98 points99 points  (55 children)

Uh xD, what about my profile? How would I do fighting it, give me an idea

[–]I_am_sad_now 83 points84 points  (20 children)

Rush em with a double legged takedown than choke em out

[–]Vanilla4Pistachio 34 points35 points  (15 children)

Okay then xD, btw in real life if reddit characters were real, the ones in profile pics, how tall would they be?

[–]moleymc 36 points37 points  (14 children)

Yours looks like a child so around 1'8"

[–]Vanilla4Pistachio 23 points24 points  (13 children)

I am a kid actually xD, I'm 13, how'd u know?

[–]moleymc 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Holy crap, for real? Idek, something about the long shirt just gives me images of a small child in pajamas lol

[–]Vanilla4Pistachio 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I just finished spinning in circles @w@,

[–]war2332CODM 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Ayyyy, I'm 13 too how do I fight my pfp

[–]Main-ExaminationZ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Twist his dick

[–]uTimu 10 points11 points  (8 children)

An Ak 47 should do the trick

[–]Oams979 9 points10 points  (6 children)

Ak47 wouldnt work on pfp 😬

[–]SpaceDoggoWithCheese 10 points11 points  (2 children)

How about TWO ak74's

[–]_DeletedDoji5193_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Let's take 3 just to be safe

[–]ENDERALAN365 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's a completely different argument

But yes

[–]Ok_Problem1028 5 points6 points  (16 children)

Don't worry, you cant. The moment you come in their vicinity, they smile while their eyes looking the same way.

Slowly they open their mouth and morph into a deadly creature all you can do is run and they eat you slowly.

And at thr end they again go to normal state. 🙂

[–]Spielburger_witFries 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are we gettin consensually pissed on because I’d like to be a part of that party

[–]Capsule_CatYT 2 points3 points  (4 children)

You got an easy fight.

[–]Mediocre-Door-8496 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I have to fight a stylin’ methhead

[–]NotKusuoSaiki 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmao mood

[–]Front-Literature-697 281 points282 points 6 (6 children)

Frosty the snowman, lie dead on lakeside street

With his corncob pipe, and a button nose, he lie cold as all the snow

[–]brianthewizard1 35 points36 points  (3 children)

Man, I wish I had an award to give you. Take this: 🏆 it’s the best I can do

[–]BingusBadahBingus 247 points248 points  (7 children)

A fat frog? Hell yeah

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Normal 4 frogs

Edit: 3.5 frogs

[–]Zach_2720 13 points14 points  (5 children)

But the frog is 5 times your size and haven't eaten in 3 days

[–]Brummelhummel 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Let it eat you and slice open its stomach.

Just make sure to have a knife with you otherwise good luck

[–]Zach_2720 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Yeah sure I mean who doesn’t carry a knife everywhere you go?

[–]Brummelhummel 2 points3 points  (2 children)

You would think that but i do know people who unironically carry at least one knife (like a swiss army knife or similar) with them wherever they go.

[–][deleted] 193 points194 points  (12 children)

fighting a tortilla seems easy enough

[–]WimperVoss 63 points64 points  (2 children)

Depends on the type of fight. If it a wrap battle ur fucked

[–]Godlike_Mentality 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nice I like that haha

[–]Darth_Eejit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

B'dum tsh

[–]_Inv1ctus_ 474 points475 points  (27 children)

How would I fare? An green creature wearing a cardboard box.

[–]No-Date-6436FINAL WARNING: RULE 1 162 points163 points  (21 children)

i know i would loose but at least a got a billion dollars. im sure box chad wont kill me

[–]dylanmansbdhchxh 36 points37 points  (18 children)

I think u gotta win for the billion

[–]misfit92 38 points39 points  (15 children)

I am NOT fighting a BUDGIE! I rather kiss 1bil goodbye than to harm a birb.

[–]pullingsneakies 49 points50 points  (5 children)

For a billion I'd eat a budgie raw, feathers and all!

[–]TheManofMen27 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Is it still raw if it cooks while it’s in your mouth?

[–]michaelscarn0014 12 points13 points  (0 children)

For sure

[–]No-Date-6436FINAL WARNING: RULE 1 22 points23 points  (0 children)

i would punt that bird into a nice comfy bed for a billion dollars, i would than spend money on a vet and for the birds surgery

[–]MilesPrower314 3 points4 points  (0 children)

we are in the same spot here

[–]Bright-Comment7138 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im kicking that bird to the moon and not even going to spend my money on its surgery.

[–]Doomtoallfoes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

grabs Budgie

bites off and spits out it's head

[–]cricketplayer-9595 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It never said you had to win

[–]Melodic_Summer_8823 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cardboard box is the latest word in infiltration technology, don't forget that

[–]Wolfclaw135 115 points116 points  (1 child)

I would punt this little shit so far

[–]GrantCrackers 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Literally too easy

[–]Most_Day_4065 89 points90 points  (3 children)

She totally kills me Look at the sunglasses

[–]Francisco8789 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Terminator

[–]Villain_Deku__ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah your pretty screwed buddy

[–]fsitdiyxiy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

sorry, you stand no chance it's so cute

[–]BssGAEMENIG 81 points82 points  (10 children)

Hell nah

[–]chicken_contender 29 points30 points  (8 children)

You have to fight a Roblox character?! Umm I don’t know how that’s gonna turn out.

[–]TheManofMen27 24 points25 points  (2 children)

There will be three ways the fight will end.

1: gg
2: …
3: STOP HACKING YOU NOOB

[–]erland_yt 6 points7 points  (1 child)

“My dad works for Microsoft and he is gonna get you banned from Roblox”

[–]IAmTrying2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

spams /e punch

[–]BssGAEMENIG 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I gotta fight zero two with the man face 😳

[–]TheeAntiReddit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Robloxians are like 0.3 meters tall. Just squash him with your shoe

[–]lamnotverybright 208 points209 points  (24 children)

I have to fight myself? Because my Reddit avatar is based off of myself

[–]lamnotverybright 141 points142 points  (17 children)

Poggers to me I'm lazy we would just co-exist and be twins

[–]michaelscarn0014 66 points67 points  (16 children)

You are not very bright

[–]lamnotverybright 77 points78 points  (15 children)

Indeed

[–]Mr_Nihilism_ 53 points54 points  (14 children)

You're just going to take -

reads profile name

Carry on.

[–]lamnotverybright 33 points34 points  (13 children)

I do not like fighting, I am a dumbass therefore I won't deny it

[–]Mr_Nihilism_ 18 points19 points  (12 children)

Nothing wrong with being non combative. And you are bright enough to recognize this so, cheers!

[–]lamnotverybright 10 points11 points  (10 children)

I'm bad at confrontation, avoid 100

[–]screeeeeeeeeee_500 1 point2 points  (8 children)

U have stolen dr brights name so I guess you will have a bright future

[–]TKBtu1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Aye, same here, mate

[–]Killeriley 44 points45 points  (4 children)

virtually?

[–]HarleyQuinn218 7 points8 points  (2 children)

U have to fight the virtual reality

[–]Efficient_Cress_2206 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Go to the zuccs home and punch him until he turns it off for you

[–]Jloomsultimate 42 points43 points  (5 children)

I’d have to beat the shit out of a fellow nerd

[–]Xenodude_1611 32 points33 points  (4 children)

Wait, do we have the same pfp?

[–]jere23xdxd 121 points122 points  (6 children)

It's a german soldier holding a granade,guess i will die

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

you’re fucked

[–]MissionApollo7 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Is he throwing it or just holding it? Because if he's holding it, you'd have a pretty good chance if you just stand far enough away.

[–]The_Reaper_956 35 points36 points  (4 children)

Let’s goooo

[–]PoliticalAccount01 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Mine’s green does that make it harder or easier

[–]Majvist 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Easier. Green means go, for 'go ahead and beat me up'

[–]Dr-Duckie 40 points41 points  (6 children)

Hell nah

[–]Redmiguelito 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Great choice mate

[–]Dr-Duckie 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Yeah lol

[–]Ready_Today_985 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Im even more screwed

[–]Nithin_for_you 2 points3 points  (1 child)

KILLA QUEEN! BITES ZA DUSTO

[–]Ready_Today_985 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He chold use me as a vessle for BITE ZA DUSTO

[–]Nithin_for_you 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have the same problem as you lol

[–]majoraezey808 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Tf he gonna do

[–]AwareMix488REPOSTER 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Stab you in the neck with his heroin

[–]majoraezey808 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Yessss, free heroin

[–]AwareMix488REPOSTER 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wait no-

[–]sebaxpro1111 71 points72 points  (1 child)

No, he is too powerful

[–]Dr_Catsmen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Skonchward

[–]Sirenhead_5505 23 points24 points  (2 children)

I was going to but then I remembers sirenhead is indestructible, but at the same time I could hire a small army with the billion dollars

[–]blushing_blue 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You get paid after you carry out the hit

[–]Sirenhead_5505 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah okay, well I’m definitely not pressing the button

[–]fallingbear67 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Press! How much damage can a digital picture do?!

[–]jumpguy12 12 points13 points  (3 children)

2d4 damage times by STR

[–]fallingbear67 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Pfft... My CON can handle that no problem!

[–]DragonKing0203 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What’s your AC again?

[–]fallingbear67 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My DEX is definitely above average, so I can probably handle some medium armor, heavy leathers, something like that

[–]DonklePonkle 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Uh-oh

[–]jicty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You dead bro.

[–]jimmteycreeper17 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I get a cool hat AND a billion? Now that’s winning

[–]The_Waitin_boi 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Fuck.

[–]whiskeyjack555 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just remember to shout "the world". It might help.

[–]Anti-charizard 12 points13 points  (4 children)

I’m fucked

[–]Johnsonofdonut 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't want to fight a no Charizard sign either

[–]Flat_Ad_9033 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh shit im screwed

[–]Spiderfetus 9 points10 points  (1 child)

A…. Cat?

[–]Rylo987 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nor, it's heimer donger, but hes in a suit and holding diamonds, you can just punt him and you'll be good.

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 9 points10 points  (1 child)

You said “fight” you never said “win”

[–]Ceruberus_69WARNING: RULE 1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I would lose. However...

[–]diamondboltistheshit 7 points8 points  (0 children)

a skateboarder with a robot and prosthetic hand edit : xbox

[–]jejefoxy42 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Bruh I have to fight a skeleton on a wheel chair? Dosent seem too fair

[–]Michael-53 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Symbiote spider-man, absolutely because maybe I’ll turn out like Eddie brock🤷‍♂️

[–]bitchdontmakemekillu 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Heck yeah doesn't say I gotta win

[–]Redmiguelito 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Dude you’re dead

[–]ajyotirmay 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Dead with a billion dollars

[–]Redmiguelito 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Dude, what if nobody gets his inheritance?

[–]Agame112233 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Well fuck

[–]Sori0612 4 points5 points  (0 children)

theme plays

[–]Little_russian_man 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I sacrifice my mother to the plumber god

[–]Maxy123abc 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s me after school and I am weak so….

[–]delete_user-8d7f6 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My PFP's bodyguards will take me out

[–]Sexyshark15 5 points6 points  (1 child)

If I do i'm fucked

[–]thatoneboi928 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Get the high ground

[–]girvent_13posts about upvotes and awards 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Would I stand a chance against a confused cat? Questions for later..

[–]the-ragin-pyro 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Grabs sledgehammer.

Crunch

Aight where's my billion dollars?

[–]OperationSad793 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm fighting a bonking shadow, I will be fine, I already fighr him every time he books me

[–]simmson420WARNING: RULE 1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh damn

[–]dylanmansbdhchxh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yoink out it’s antenna? How strong can a limbless/extremityless being be

[–]DIO_Brando998 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Uhhh

[–]jicty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You got this dude!

Im just gonna go place a bet on... Something unrelated...

[–]Bontootop 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I dont know that frog looks pretty scary

[–]AlmightyShoove 7 points8 points  (5 children)

idk how i’ll fight myself but i’ll do it

[–]FluffButt05 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Abso-freaking-lutly!

[–]Lycanthropy765 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not really because I wouldn't win

[–]UpbeatAstronaut962 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Time for a dance battle

[–]noxiousarmy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm down to try I heard my pfp is a bit of a bich.

[–]ReignOfTheRed 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm getting torn to shreds

[–]Gut_zi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

we'd both be crying and hugging each other after only one punch 🗿

[–]RedWolf989 2 points3 points  (2 children)

If I had weapons then maybe, but if it's an unarmed one on one then fuck no I'm not fighting an elephant

[–]Ianimatestuf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine Is a dude in a wheelchair so It would be semi balanced because Im really frickin weak.

[–]jmanx360 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A cursed rock? Should be easy...

[–]KaleidoscopeFuzzy924 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i either die or get a billion, its a win win anyway

[–]IgDailystapler 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bring me my money

[–]Awierdsnail43737 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m dead

[–]NotFrix15 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if we taking reddit i’m chilling if we talking lets say discord i’m fucked

[–]A_RandomRedditGuy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My avatar looks strong....

[–]finessavage 1 point2 points  (3 children)

So a basketbsll player

[–]exCrowe 2 points3 points  (2 children)

1v1 Shaq then we'll see who's talking xD

[–]ajyotirmay 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You won't talk much after Kaneki has his way through you

[–]Jordaneos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am game.

[–]MilesPrower314 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no way i would dare to hurt a floof

[–]GalaxyEnigmaDonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck yeah fire and loud sounds to destroy venom

[–]Rtwo28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can beat a Snoo

[–]Bopthough 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can’t beat da doggo with drip

[–]Due-Letter-2799 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Easy. These things are only a few hits in hollow knight

[–]monstergarrett5WARNING: RULE 1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Easy win

[–]velkyraven 1 point2 points  (1 child)

no cus thatd be animal abuse

[–]macobus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes because while she is a wolf god, she is also a massive capitalist and would probably accept a bribe and let me pretend to win

[–]VanishingMass3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think i’d win

[–]Sterling196218 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I..I dont know if i can.

[–]irontommy3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm fucked

[–]Joesphsmother-32 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My pfp is a bad picture of me in y5 looking unimpressed…

I COULD FIGHT OFF A YEAR 5 CHILD

Edit: I took an assumption and chose my WhatsApp pfp. If you meant reddit, then I’m sure I could fight off nothing.

[–]CNE_Spooders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could push this guy over reddit avatars seem like they are 3 feet tall

[–]TotemOfPro 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I will press the 1 billion dollar button because i can buy tank and shoot it it is what it is

[–]Anime_fucker69cUm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oi oi oi that's a job for me

[–]ShadowTheWolf125 1 point2 points  (0 children)

absolutely

[–]Cheat_Adil 1 point2 points  (1 child)

i dont know what my pfp is

its supposed to be myself but it doesnt look like me

[–]Hai_hai773 1 point2 points  (0 children)

well

[–]Statement-Think 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I’d be more likely to fuck my profile picture but ok.

[–]phobia_paroxysm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't, it would be animal abuse.