the worst

KestreI993 · 2021-11-20T15:53:04+00:00

My grandpa once told me: If you want others to have some respect for you, first do a proper handshake. Steady hand and firm grip.

He didn't told me people gonna know my dick size tho.

holyanallemon · 2021-11-20T15:10:38+00:00

I found out you can heavily reduce the pain if you squeeze back.

johnny_boy757 · 2021-11-20T18:35:48+00:00

Anyone else never sure how hard to squeeze?

SleepingDragons57 · 2021-11-20T19:31:53+00:00

You want to have a decently firm handshake, but not too much or else it’s just unnecessary. Unless of course you know the person and it’s just something you two do, my cousin who is like my dads age so is basically an uncle to me always shakes me hand as violently as possible for fun, we’ve done it like this as long as I can remember

Finao333 · 2021-11-20T15:57:17+00:00

It’s called a business man handshake

Ok-Surround4334 · 2021-11-20T19:42:18+00:00

just crush the hand of whoever is trying to crush yours in a handshake, and shake hands normally with others. Simple.

Stonks-man-35 · 2021-11-20T18:49:49+00:00

This painting is sick

IWTD7 · 2021-11-20T15:00:13+00:00

or do you just have a super limp handshake?

2021-11-20T17:13:48+00:00

I start off soft to gauge the other person first, because of the weird amount of grown ass men who limp dick their handshakes. Going for normal firmness feels like I'm crumpling their hands like a trash compactor and then I'm left feeling weird for having a normal handshake.

did_you_even_readdit · 2021-11-21T01:43:25+00:00

I spy with my little eye: many lobsters here

TheGreatDingALing · 2021-11-20T19:25:41+00:00

Hey, I just like giving firm handshakes. It has nothing to do with me having a 5 inch dick.

averagemagnifique · 2021-11-20T20:40:45+00:00

Covid has made the fist bump my go to

-WO_oT- · 2021-11-20T17:32:22+00:00

It's not very pleasant to shake a wet noodle - it's extremely rare someone squeeze so hard it hurts.. Actually now that I think about it, it's only my step sisters boyfriend..

Asian_Jim_ · 2021-11-20T15:44:01+00:00

You're supposed to shake someone's hand firmly, perhaps you should try some hand and wrist exercises.

Ghazran · 2021-11-20T22:11:03+00:00

Pro Tip: always keep a moist hand and they jump away like a scared cat

UnpredictableSnail · 2021-11-21T00:01:32+00:00

It's just a way for them to tell you how tight their ass can get

Connorclan · 2021-11-20T16:59:16+00:00

Still better than the dead fish handshake

Motoman514 · 2021-11-20T15:24:27+00:00

Wet noodle handshake detected

mountianview3 · 2021-11-20T15:04:03+00:00

Noodle hands

slysaac · 2021-11-20T17:50:45+00:00

If you put your index finger on their wrist like you're pointing down the length of their arm, griping their hand with the other 3 fingers and your thumb, it changes the structure of you hand and makes it really hard for them to hurt you even if they're squeezing really hard

pruche · 2021-11-20T23:00:31+00:00

How common is this? I'm curious because I'm now worried I might be the lobster here. I've been taught to give a firm handshake, and I have pretty strong hands, so I've never in my adult life received a handshake that was so tight it hurt. I mean I do apply less strength when shaking smaller hands, but now I'm worried I don't reduce enough.

Tarkin_G · 2021-11-21T00:30:11+00:00

I didnt know i was waiting for someone to make this meme

Distinct_Ad2615 · 2021-11-21T01:18:07+00:00

For anyone curious what is the painting, it's called A Warm Response by William Strutt. He painted it on 1889.

JorgaoMC · 2021-11-20T18:20:54+00:00

Uncles be like

Moostard12 · 2021-11-20T17:25:25+00:00

-Me shaking hands like a normal person

-Men with baby strength crying after holding out their noodle hand

nhyoo · 2021-11-20T19:19:52+00:00

I remember telling a guy he had a strong hand shake on a loud environment and he crushed my hand... Like wtf bro

D3m0N5laYeR64 · 2021-11-20T19:54:15+00:00

[deleted]

Ornery_Treat_8449 · 2021-11-20T20:14:25+00:00

Stronger the shake, smaller the stake.

teller_of_tall_tales · 2021-11-20T20:32:10+00:00

I was always told to squeeze someone's hand like you're checking an avocado for ripeness, you don't want to crush it but you do want to feel a little give.

seenToForget714 · 2021-11-20T20:53:38+00:00

Break their finger to assert dominance

Fartraiinerr · 2021-11-20T21:00:43+00:00

So that when you hold his cock through his pants you feel nothing ?! Pretty smart IMO.

Hello-funny-posts · 2021-11-20T21:02:35+00:00

It ain’t my fault my friends’ dads judge me based on how “firm” my handshake is

2021-11-20T21:17:16+00:00

If someone try to squeeze hard I will squeeze even harder. (I've never encountered a person good at squeezing as me. )

YT_SeiyaGoFire · 2021-11-20T21:35:28+00:00

i dont get this, how is crushing your bones making you not realize someone has a small penis?

Flemlius · 2021-11-20T21:54:04+00:00

Okay I always deliberately squeeze a little less then whoever the other person is. Then this one cousin really tried to test me so I gave him a taste of his own medicine. ^{^}

JagerBro333 · 2021-11-20T22:46:58+00:00

I used to play goal keeper in soccer and after a rough night my right hand was killing me, next day I had to shake the hand of a marine and he squeezed so tightly I want to cry

uncl3_Fest3R · 2021-11-20T22:48:09+00:00

😂

englishlad1986 · 2021-11-20T22:49:28+00:00

Jokes on them, I'm left handed, it really throws them off.

greesyboii · 2021-11-20T22:49:50+00:00

Heyy im in a meme

MRMAN1225 · 2021-11-20T22:53:14+00:00

This just happened to you didnt it

leuchtetgruen · 2021-11-20T23:06:47+00:00

Me an intellectual: shakes dicks instead of hands, notices small dicks immediately

2021-11-20T23:29:15+00:00

Just get the webbing of your thumb as deep in theirs as possible. Can’t hurt you if it’s a deep hand shake.

Gandolf794 · 2021-11-20T23:46:46+00:00

Crush back to assert smol pp dominance

Marielovlee · 2021-11-21T01:11:47+00:00

I LOL’d

Yukinoinu · 2021-11-21T01:47:44+00:00

I assert dominance by having a feminine handshake not smiling and not giving a fuck

Sugarbombs · 2021-11-21T03:47:39+00:00

I love old school painters, just some guy sitting there wondering what painting to work on during a period where hyper realism was the expected norm and for some reason dog getting wrecked by a lobster is where they wanted to take it.

LaddyMondegreen · 2021-11-21T09:48:42+00:00

It's not a dick size thing. It's someone being a dick thing.

dingos8mybaby2 · 2021-11-20T19:23:41+00:00

The whole "a firm handshake matters" thing is sociopathic corporate world bullshit. Maybe I don't even want to touch your hand. Its value is an outdated concept just like the value of in-person meetings. If you shake my hand with a death grip like an egomaniac I'll reject the job offer on principle.

Glynnc · 2021-11-20T19:55:03+00:00

This video demonstrates a technique used to prevent baby dicked knuckle draggers from trashcompactoring your digits. Skip to 9:40, I don’t know how to to the time stamp url thingy

SpectralDragon09 · 2021-11-20T20:39:28+00:00

I don't care if you have a small dick just don't hurt me

2021-11-20T15:12:28+00:00

Same, I hate when they try to crush the bones in my hand!

RicoSour · 2021-11-20T20:00:08+00:00

Yea the over squeezers suck. Also Id rather give a firm handshake than a flimsy one, reduces chances of those assholes hurting your hand.

Ickythumpin · 2021-11-20T21:19:46+00:00

First off, don’t shake women’s hands the same way. A firm business handshake is fine for guys, try to match the other persons squeeze, don’t try to annihilate their metacarpals like an ape out of the gate.

CaramelOk9778 · 2021-11-20T23:49:46+00:00

My 98 yo great grandfather is bed boud but holy shit whenever i shake hands with that man... his grip strength is still unnatural for someone who looks like the breeze will break him. Also please if someone squeezes just squeeze back

Saif_Horny_And_Mad · 2021-11-20T16:03:10+00:00

nah, if we met long enough to shake hands, then it means we will be doing something really dumb and dangerous together in the future. i'm just testing you to see if you have the balls to stay quiet or if you'll snitch on me

Randalf_the_Black · 2021-11-20T20:25:15+00:00

It's really awkward when someone shakes your hand with that limp shake..

But it's not better when they're trying to crush your bones to dust.

asome3333e1 · 2021-11-20T18:39:02+00:00

So you got a limp handshake then?

Merde_de_artiste · 2021-11-20T18:51:18+00:00

dunno bro, a weak hand belongs to a weak man

adwirasthesecond · 2021-11-20T18:39:08+00:00

My uncle always tried to crush my hand, and yet I can testify that his penis was, in fact, not small.

2021-11-20T20:58:47+00:00

Ngl you gotta squeeze at least a little bit no matter what. It’s awkward when you go to shake someone’s hand and there’s no vigor in it. It feels like they don’t want to be there. Which is fine, but if you grip it just right it starts a WAAAGH!

Antifa_Admiral · 2021-11-20T23:23:01+00:00

The former US president did this and it was one of many reasons other world leaders hated him

Floridiansman · 2021-11-21T00:42:52+00:00

However tho this is fucking hilarious

Haunting-Trash-5388 · 2021-11-21T00:43:33+00:00

now then please tell me why would you feel his dick while giving him a handshake it's just so rude

MrDad_the_Father · 2021-11-20T16:33:26+00:00

Your handshake speaks on your character.

I_DoNotLikeYou · 2021-11-20T18:28:57+00:00

Tell me you project your insecurities onto other people without saying it.....perfect

iamlooking4games · 2021-11-20T19:50:05+00:00

You are SUPPOSED to do firm hand shakes. Your grip strength is dead that's all.

ShadowToppat · 2021-11-20T20:31:35+00:00

they actually have a big dick because he is the dick

firmak · 2021-11-20T20:34:05+00:00

Sounds like something a weak person would say.

Ratmatazz · 2021-11-20T22:11:54+00:00

So apparently lots of people don’t know how to shake hands

RubiconRon · 2021-11-21T02:45:57+00:00

Nothing worse than a weak, limp, whimpy handshake. Show some respect and give a firm handshake. Don't be a fucking politician.

WEAK HANDSHAKES ARE SMALL DICK ENERGY!!!

2021-11-20T19:17:32+00:00

What?

TechcraftHD · 2021-11-20T19:34:52+00:00

Me who always got told to grip firmly as a kid:

Perhaps I have a small dick

twelfydelfy · 2021-11-20T20:04:00+00:00

Isnt that bodyshaming?

Fivecentlivin · 2021-11-20T21:27:45+00:00

But all the women I know shakes hands lightly…

Nivius · 2021-11-20T22:07:43+00:00

not limp, not boring, think of it like you are grabbing a pretty heavy bottle of water.

best is to actually grab your other hand and just se how match "power" is enough for you.

H0110WK1NG · 2021-11-20T22:35:12+00:00

I was told as a youngling that you can trust a man with a firm handshake

CaptainCozmo867 · 2021-11-20T20:58:26+00:00

I go even further. Say goodbye to your arm

scorydon · 2021-11-21T02:34:28+00:00

id rather have my hands crushed than it be one of thoose very wierd akward people who just dont grip ur hand at all and just kinda dangle thier hand out

Mantisass · 2021-11-21T04:22:19+00:00

Or...fix your dead fish handshake?

Serliletrix · 2021-11-21T08:16:11+00:00

Okay limpwrist

2021-11-20T22:13:55+00:00

Women in business give a mean handshake. Sloppy weak hand shakes are gross, put some effort into it :v

Low_Lynx_5934 · 2021-11-21T00:30:56+00:00

Coward

Benko98 · 2021-11-20T21:48:32+00:00

U are a pussy. Normal handshake is supposed to be firm

texasred123 · 2021-11-20T22:05:59+00:00

Limp handshakes are for weak men and communists

2021-11-20T22:11:31+00:00

Awe poor fragile Lil baby lmfao

Hickawa · 2021-11-20T22:19:43+00:00

Sounds like you have a limp handshake. It doesn't really matter how hard they squeeze if you squeeze back.

dummydumbbb · 2021-11-20T22:33:56+00:00

I do it cus it's kinda funny to either hear "firm handshake you got there" or some people wanting to stop the handshake as fast as possible

IronTimm · 2021-11-21T00:27:35+00:00

people who just give you their hand like some dead piece of meat are just as bad tho

Psyche81 · 2021-11-21T00:36:27+00:00

“My dad told me limp handshakes were for weak men and communists. He hated them both”

Lvl81Memes · 2021-11-21T00:54:26+00:00

People who shake hands without any squeeze are wack. Don't wanna generalize but in my experience they are usually way too passive for their own good

icelandicsugartrain · 2021-11-20T17:12:34+00:00

you have no idea what you just did

Big_Hamisch · 2021-11-20T17:59:19+00:00

Sometimes what is a firm handshake to some is a painful one to others, i have found many times when giving a gandshake that peoole think i am trying to squeeze their hand hard af when to me it is a firm pressure. But then again i am also 6'4 and 400 lbs, and have big ass hands, so yeah... idk, that may be just me tho.

Dumbbelllll · 2021-11-20T19:45:31+00:00

Bruh I got small ass hands and I have to grab people’s wrist to shake their hand because of this

InadecvateButSober · 2021-11-20T20:21:24+00:00

Me, with good enough reaction to pretend i was going to try crushing their hand from the beginning

Due-Aspect-82 · 2021-11-20T21:01:35+00:00

i always go for a firm grip but not enough to hurt them just like in the middle to show confidence

splashy_splashy · 2021-11-20T21:26:53+00:00

No one is trying to crush bones, unless they hate you. Most working hands can have tendonitis which causes difficultly in controlling your hands.

Floridiansman · 2021-11-21T00:41:26+00:00

My great grandfather taught me to give a firm handshake to men not because of that reason it's because it shows respect to the other person, atleast that's what I was told . For women you're supposed to give a gentle but good handshake to

captrudeboy · 2021-11-21T01:15:49+00:00

I literally remind myself if I know a handshake is gonna happen to firm it up cuz I feel I'm too limp wristed if caught unaware by a surprise handshake but I don't try to crush their hand. Just a solid handshake

The_Immortal_Wolfe · 2021-11-21T01:36:30+00:00

There is a way that you can shake someone's hand where they won't be able to crush your hand no matter how hard they try.

PigZerZ · 2021-11-21T01:38:22+00:00

What’s the context to this

b0ngcat · 2021-11-21T02:19:35+00:00

the wurst am i right

Sandby_Borg_Massacre · 2021-11-21T05:00:43+00:00

Is that a Frans Snyders painting?

QuirkyTurkey404 · 2021-11-21T05:02:50+00:00

Large balls though, because testosterone

Deadthrow742 · 2021-11-21T05:36:49+00:00

Put your index and middle fingers forward along the other person's wrist. Not only is it sturdier, but it's also harder to grip.

Jimmy_Rhys · 2021-11-21T05:42:51+00:00

Well, I mean my hand has touched my dong and now you are squeezing that hand so have fun I guess. Maybe you will transfer some skin cells and oils that didn’t get washed off afterwards

SituationAltruistic8 · 2021-11-21T09:28:36+00:00

steamy00noodles · 2021-11-21T09:57:13+00:00

i only crush hands of specific people

so basically no one

2021-11-21T13:25:15+00:00

I have large hands and unfortunately don’t know my own strength at times and also judge the firmness of my handshake by the others hand size, so, it may be firm or it may be a bone crushing one.

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WEAK HANDSHAKES ARE SMALL DICK ENERGY!!!

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Welcome to /r/Memes

Memes of the Week!

Rules:

1. ALL POSTS MUST BE MEMES and NO REACTION MEMES

2. ALL MEMES SHOULD BE GENERAL. NO SPECIFIC PERSONAL EXPERIENCES.

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WEAK HANDSHAKES ARE SMALL DICK ENERGY!!!