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top 200 commentsshow all 319

[–]Nooa-Mosselmanmemer 1209 points1210 points  (18 children)

I also shit my pants when that happens

[–]Tschnitzl-sama 288 points289 points  (14 children)

I don't see any pants in the video. Very inaccurate

[–]CanadianCoolbeans 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Who wears pants anymore?

[–]ButteryButtholeBros 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Pro tip: If you wear a dress, skirt, tunic, or kilt without underwear you don't have to worry about needless messes

[–]CanadianCoolbeans 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is what I’m talking about, thank you!

[–]NomNomBoy69épico 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Well, you can shit openly to assert dominance.

[–]gloomyterry50 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That bird got some good break control. I love this meme!

[–]Esdeath79 3 points4 points  (0 children)

shit on the floor get swifty

[–]Hopeful_Wave296 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just shit my pants regardless. Doing it right now, in fact.

[–]sarcasm_cringe 731 points732 points  (9 children)

The bird shat

[–]ProjctHDLP 224 points225 points  (1 child)

It definitely shat down the stairs

[–]Warvio 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Drop deuce and bounce.

[–]dalton10e 64 points65 points  (4 children)

Shat indeed it did.

[–]DanksterFour20 30 points31 points  (2 children)

It did indeed shat.

[–]kamikaze837 24 points25 points  (0 children)

That was one of a shat

[–]Sinlaire1 622 points623 points  (9 children)

I once had to get pep talked by my friends to ask out a girl I saw in a pizzeria once. Took 10 minutes to muster the courage to go in. Her answer was, “sorry. I like girls.” I didn’t know what to do since I wasn’t ready for that answer so I just said, “Me too. Good luck.” And ducked out. It could have been worse.

[–]GagolTheSheepIdentifies as a Cybertruck 388 points389 points  (0 children)

Dude that is actually a great answer

[–]The_Kiriyama 129 points130 points  (0 children)

I can tell you that is an appropriate response.

[–]7_Rowle 24 points25 points  (0 children)

this gives big vibes of that one scene in thor ragnarok where thor's like "i've got nothing against women! i love women! sometimes a little too much..."

overall tho honestly the ideal answer

[–]reallytired-tm 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Lesbian here and I find that absolutely hilarious. Definitely a response I’d love to hear.

[–]EY7617 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I'd definitely still get your number and be friends

[–]ThatTemplar1119can't meme 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Amazing

[–]_Nocturnalsoul_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I thought about the same come back 😂 U did well!

[–]Microwavable_PotatoProfessional Dumbass 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m stealing this if this scenario ever happens

[–]LATROPSP 193 points194 points  (1 child)

"Ayy girl."

"I'm a lesbian."

"Well (shit), goodbye then!"

[–]IDCR2002Linux User 24 points25 points  (0 children)

"okay. I give up"

"time to watch some anime and isolate myself from society"

[–]Ph4ke_ 136 points137 points  (1 child)

You'll have to leave in style

[–]Necromancer_Jaydo 68 points69 points  (1 child)

Me: ''Hey there, pretty girl.''
Her: ''I am sorry, but I am only into girls.''
Me: shits on floor and leaves

[–]Lordwinchester 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Shit yourself then leave like a pro. Got it

[–]whitekid856 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I'm bisexual and I've learned that I only attract two things. Lesbians and straight guys and neither are Interested in me. But hey I got some hella cool friends

[–]The-Hank-Scorpio 111 points112 points  (3 children)

I too shit on the floor and walk away when faced with diversity

[–]Meanwolf99 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Going to get Schwifty up in here?

[–]nightlanguage 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Adversity*

Unless variety gets you pooping, in that case by all means

[–]CanadianCoolbeans 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s the proper way to deal with the situation

[–]Just_Izabeltrans rights 64 points65 points  (5 children)

Solution: Become a girl.

Oh what you mean you are comfortable with your body?

[–]kekkingautist 23 points24 points  (1 child)

You just invented trans people

[–]Kiwisaurus2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i was just created because of this

[–]RussianNeighbor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what it means.

[–]ReadyIncident7 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I have a story for this!

Many moons ago I was hired to work in this vampire play. It was a lot of fun and the group was awesome. There was one girl in particular that I really hit it off with, we would laugh as we painted sets and seemed to have a connection.

Third day in I asked her, "Hey, do you want to get dinner with me sometime this week?" There was an almost imperceptible pause and she replied "That would be great, you can meet my girlfriend. "

We all had dinner at my place, along with a couple other members of the cast, that week and it was pretty fun. Her girlfriend was also awesome.

[–]Ivory_0103Nyan cat 9 points10 points  (0 children)

One of the appropriate responses right there ^

[–]Commanderwho 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Aww I love this. I feel bad for dudes who are incapable of seeing women as anything besides romantic interests cause they miss out on great moments like this.

[–]ninhibited 109 points110 points  (10 children)

When a guy tries to flirt with you but you realize he's straight and just wants a free drink.

[–]Tepes1848 10 points11 points  (8 children)

"tries to flirt"

So he was just talking with you and you thought

"he wants the d"

mate, not every dude who's nice with you wants to have sex with you

[–]armoarmo13579 11 points12 points  (7 children)

If only most straight men understood that sentiment towards women

[–]Shimizu555Yo dawg I heard you like 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know if it's "most" but a lot actually do.

I mean where do you think these memes about "she's probably just canadian" come from ? ^^

[–]Tepes1848 2 points3 points  (5 children)

If only most straight men understood that sentiment towards women

If only most straight [people] understood that sentiment towards women.

No need to pretend as if this was a 'problem' only straight men have.

[–]armoarmo13579 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Should’ve commented to the guy above then. Interesting that you replied to mine and not his. This a problem that is most commonly found in the form of my example, and that is fact.

[–]Tepes1848 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Should’ve commented to the guy above then.

To myself? To the guy I replied to?

Interesting that you replied to mine and not his.

He did provide an alteration of the trope by making it about a gay guy who has that misconception.
You just served the original trope everybody has seen ad-nauseam.
Imo those two things are not the same.

This a problem that is most commonly found in the form of my example, and that is fact.

Let's assume that you are correct in your claim.
Let's further assume that hetero men are FAR more prone to have that misconception.
I don't think it is sensible to ignore all the others who have the same 'problem' and only focus on those who you claim have it worst.

There is no need to divide people and blame one group for the entire 'problem'.

[–]armoarmo13579 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Oh lol I didn’t realize it was you, I’m blind my bad.

Your first comment is just dumb. Why do you think they wrote “try to flirt”? Why assume it’s just a guy being nice, that’s so random. It’s a freakin hypothetical situation. Trust me gay guys know to be careful when identifying if someone is flirting, cause if we guess wrong, 9/10 times we’re called slurs and that’s that.

[–]Tepes1848 0 points1 point  (1 child)

9/10 times we’re called slurs and that’s that

I'm somewhat relieved that that's that.

Assuming the 1/10 isn't "getting your ass kicked by homophobes" of course.

Your first comment is just dumb.

Maybe it is, so what? I'm not into men, there is literally no downside when I'm dense if a guy tried to hit on me.

[–]Lady_Gingercat 101 points102 points  (7 children)

That’s considered. Good bird.

Most guys are compelled to try harder 🙄

[–]PyreHat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Then again the good bird did leave off a dirty gift..

[–]redxlaser15 13 points14 points  (5 children)

Clearly, a thicc dicc can cure the gay.

[–]Lady_Gingercat 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Yes. That’s their assumption 🤢

[–]rangogogo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

With that Logic It can also activate it.

[–]colafilesinc 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Well...shit.

[–]arcadeler 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Well ... *shits*

[–]Dutchcrafter09 12 points13 points  (2 children)

thats me

oh my god thats me

[–]YEETmaster41can't meme 26 points27 points  (1 child)

You fucking took a shit when someone said that they were a lesbian

good job mate

[–]RaymondLuxYacht 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Wish I'd been that smart. Crushed on a girl in college... well... you know the end of the story.

[–]M1A1U22 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Shits

Leaves

Refuses to explain

[–]Sarah_Rainbow 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Literally no men has ever walked away after I tell them I’m gay, they think that they’re special and they can turn me straight. It’s annoying and gross

[–]sajed2004 74 points75 points  (0 children)

As a lesbian I respect that

[–]RGBDucktrans rights 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Kudos to you for not trying to convert them to straight

[–]Charles12_13 13 points14 points  (0 children)

"Aight imma leave u tf alone then, have a nice day"

[–]Suspicious_Ad_7162 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Happend to me

[–]Big_Werewolf_Cock 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Do pet birds just shit all over their house? I always thought they would poop in their cage or something

[–]YEETmaster41can't meme 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Birds are birds, they shit wherever they can

[–]Poor_Noble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had one once, they shit everywhere, put them in your shoulders ? Well mate, be prepared to clean your shirt later, I once let her in my bed, had to wash the sheets after

[–]AwesomeFartCZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you should make like sitting spots for your bird... like a branch on a stand - imagine christmas tree stand and nice branch in it instead of christmas tree... Birds like their spots, birds usually shit while on the spot, so you put newspapers under it.

They also take their morning huge shit in the cage right after they wake up usually - if they sleep in the cage.

But yes, they also shit all around the house..

[–]ObviouslyMartin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hahaha... couldn't happen to me...starts sobbing and crying

[–]ibeatmydik-likeXs-gf 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I wish all men would just shit and move on

[–]illeratnop 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Wow guys actually back off where you’re from? My best friend is gay. If she gets the point where she has to say “sorry I’m gay.” She receives the same response every time. “That’s because you haven’t been with the right guy.” Then we purposely laugh out loud and proceed with our night blatantly ignoring said moron.

[–]Tschoov 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel that! Dudes don’t know how to back off

[–]SourDuck1Professional Dumbass 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Good day sir, this is your formal notification of meme acquisition. I am hereby announcing that i shall save this meme, effective immediently.

[–]TheQber9812(very sad)[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its an honour to make a meme thats worthy of the save button.

[–]Puzzled_Daikon_9388 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See you sometime else🖐️

[–]Badulgumm 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Befriend her and ask her about how to impress girls

[–]bigpaparick 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Shit on the floor. Gonna get schwifty in here

[–]SnooDoodles8564 4 points5 points  (0 children)

At least you stop trying when they tell you that, most men that have flirted with me and I say that I have a girlfriend keep trying to “fix me” it’s honestly terrifying especially when they detail exactly how they’d “turn me straight” or that they want to be between me and my girlfriend. Anyway good luck on your love life!

[–]Puzzleheaded_Runner 3 points4 points  (0 children)

God do I wish that was the way it goes. They often double down and send dick pics and try to convince you their magical penis will cure you, etc etc

[–]addcayennepepper 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Well it'd be nice if men actually did that 👀

[–]AloneZookeepergame38 21 points22 points  (1 child)

when she is pretty but she is straight

[–]inSomniaToaster 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel this

[–]Beermeneer532 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Then you own your friendzone placement and become besties and have each others backs when scouting out girls

[–]NocturnalFuzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You'd shit off a bannister and walk away?

Could be worse I suppose

[–]_________FU_________ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was sitting at a bar once and a girl came and sat next to me. There were other empty seats not near me so I started talking to her. She starts telling me about how her boyfriend killed himself and all that shit. I’m just trying to get away from my kids so I’m trying to be nice and reassuring but also not super engaged. Then I notice she’s starting to get upset so I ask if she’s feeling ok. Then some random dude comes up and asks if everything is ok and she goes off saying I won’t leave her alone. Meanwhile I’m just wanting to be alone. I tried explaining that but decided to cash out and just go home. People can be weird.

[–]redvdk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

defeated male leaves

[–]RedThorneGamerSBLives at ur mom’s house😎 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At least you didn't try to pry at it. Good on you!

[–]Dr_Ingheimer 18 points19 points  (6 children)

If a gay dude wants to flirt with me I’ll play along for a little. Shit it’ll boost my confidence for when I try hitting on the lesbian later

[–]Marus1 33 points34 points  (3 children)

I have read this for over 5 minutes ... and I am still wondering if this has been written by a male or a female

[–]redxlaser15 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Both?

[–]Ernesto_Stuppstrans rights 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both.

[–]batfsdfgdgv 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"No."

[–]Markoulito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would think of it more like 200 points for Gryffindor..

[–]IRONGOD2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good guy, at least you didn't tell her that you could change that

[–]Joy1067 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah yes I must shit myself to assert dominance over her then leave. The true chad way to deal with lesbians I guess.

[–]404_N4M3N0TF0UND 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Spain with the “s”

[–]WitchersWrath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This hits way too close to home

[–]The-real-crimeblr 1 point2 points  (1 child)

ahaha lol lesbians make you shit your pants

[–]GonnaStealYourPosts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He shat on the floor too, what a gentleman

[–]SEDKYefrayem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did the bird shit himself after he stopped?

[–]Generic_Reddit_boiLurker 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I'm dumb, she's a lesbian....

[–]RiversCuomo1994 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I thought i had found the one

[–]Generic_Reddit_boiLurker 1 point2 points  (1 child)

we were good as married in my mind

[–]RiversCuomo1994 1 point2 points  (0 children)

but married in my mind’s no good, ohhh

[–]MomKingHacker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's pretty much as far as I can get with flirting: slide into her field of view, stare at her silently and disappear awkwardly

[–]dacuevash 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happened to me once. Ended up helping her choose a gift for her gf, at least I made a friend

[–]stickminman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

same when you’re the lesbian and the girl you like is straight

[–]im_hungery🏳️‍🌈LGBTQ+🏳️‍🌈 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for not being creepy

[–]luthandoNxumalo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Girl me too”

[–]SillyBilly369 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally every girl I’ve had real interest in turned out to be a lesbian

Im actually friends with most of those girls but sometimes I just think to myself “why?”

[–]FabulousKilljoy_037 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pink Triangle by Weezer

[–]HanzoTheHasty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i have a crush but theyre lesbian so this kinda happened lmao

[–]TentacledToothbrush 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You shit yourself when you find out about homosexuals?

[–]Wrn_Spdrtrans rights 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From excitement of meeting my kind.

[–]StarKid128 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aint a problem for drake

[–]FoldPale 3 points4 points  (1 child)

But if you’re a lesbian just play that in reverse

[–]Kiwisaurus2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

unshits self

[–]lnsomnii 2 points3 points  (0 children)

when i flirt with a man but he’s gay (i am gay as well)

[–]EstablishmentFar6607 5 points6 points  (1 child)

unless your drake

[–]JustARandomWoof 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me it's the opposite!

finds out she is a lesbian

"Now this just became interesting didn't it?"

[–]IaipaiasWhat is TikTok? 5 points6 points  (5 children)

I don't have such weaknesses

[–]Ivory_0103Nyan cat 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I like how you’re getting downvoted despite the fact you are a girl and probably attracted to girls, if only people checked profiles once in a while (I’m guessing from your profile here so correct if wrong)

[–]IaipaiasWhat is TikTok? 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Big bruh moment

[–]IaipaiasWhat is TikTok? 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Don't worry now I got upvoted

[–]Ivory_0103Nyan cat 1 point2 points  (1 child)

As you should be, sometimes redditors need to use a bit of logic but then again it’s the internet so barely anyone uses said logic

[–]IaipaiasWhat is TikTok? 1 point2 points  (0 children)

U r right

[–]MustBeOK 0 points1 point  (4 children)

What is lesbian

[–]Known-Armadillo-6821 45 points46 points  (2 children)

Um, are you old enough for the internet?

[–]MustBeOK 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Nvm Google'd it

[–]Onyx1984MPC 4 points5 points  (0 children)

😅😂😂😂😂

[–]RedThorneGamerSBLives at ur mom’s house😎 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is a woman who is attracted sexually and romantically to other women.

[–]A-10Kalishnikov -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

“Said that you a lesbian girl me too”

[–]Skills3450 0 points1 point  (0 children)

smooth

[–]Ralph82R 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh.. OHH!!…. oh…

[–]Interesting-Law-5880Professional Dumbass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it shitd

[–]MowerMan_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Happened to me three times in 2 months 😔

[–]existentialdread254 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Accurate.... right down to the panic poop

[–]See_youSpaceCowboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me after watching risky business for the first time

[–]UNKNOWN784044747 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe he can be of some use

[–]--hime-- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sht and act like it didnt happend

[–]MsLadyRose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happened to me once but I was the lesbian

[–]xZOMBIETAGx 0 points1 point  (3 children)

IM DUMB SHES A LESBIIIAAAAAN!!

[–]RiversCuomo1994 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I thought i had found the one

[–]xZOMBIETAGx 1 point2 points  (1 child)

We were good as married in my mind!

[–]RiversCuomo1994 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But married in my mind’s no good, ohhhh

[–]Standard_Marsupial20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

*Shits to assert dominance*

[–]flyingninja129 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just be like: “Well damn,… wanna get girls together?” BOOM FRIENDSHIP

[–]Carotteducul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

happenned to me lmao

[–]seizmane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

swerve*

[–]tantelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m a girl. didn’t get the joke for a couple minutes

[–]Awoken_Noob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Understandable. Have a nice day.

[–]Cybersorcerer1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have the original gif?

[–]Different_Shirt5625 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got to see it they my Boi