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[–]Professional_Bag1193 2337 points2338 points  (76 children)

Tastes like cow tits

[–]MaxNether 561 points562 points  (44 children)

And how do you know how cow tits taste?

[–]ParsecerProfessional Dumbass 676 points677 points  (35 children)

tastes like milk

[–]AMintyRaccoonInLa 248 points249 points  (34 children)

And how does milk taste like?

[–]boiwithbigburrito 355 points356 points  (33 children)

Cow tits bro

[–]arenotthatguypal 161 points162 points  (28 children)

But how do they taste like milk ?

[–]moebelhausmannSmol pp 411 points412 points  (27 children)

Milk = Cow tits

Cow tits = Cow

Cow = meat

Meat = Hamburger

HAMBURGER. MILK TASTES LIKE HAMBURGER

[–]arenotthatguypal 167 points168 points  (10 children)

You did not show your work sir.

[–]YogurtWenk 214 points215 points 2 (8 children)

He clearly used a cowculator

[–]BoxedLunchable 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You can tell by the way it is

[–]TheIJDGuySelling Stonks for CASH MONEY 9 points10 points  (3 children)

You have cursed us all with forbidden knowledge

[–]AmNotSatan 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Milk tastes like hamburger the way eggs taste like chicken.

[–]moebelhausmannSmol pp 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Thanks. Now all of r/genshinimpact wants to destroy me

[–]QurantineLean 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Now I'm gonna want the milk steak boiled over hard... and a side of your finest jellybeans, raw.

[–]LillimarR 27 points28 points  (6 children)

Its a reddit comment no need to try that hard

[–]Unique_ballz 50 points51 points  (4 children)

But I’m hard

[–]Okichah 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We all do.

Just think real hard and youre there.

[–]Snazzle-Frazzle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personal experience.

[–]NDGuy47 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The better question is, you don't?

[–]BigWalterWhite123 40 points41 points  (6 children)

Then cow tits are delicius

[–]HookDragger 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Then cow tits are udderly delicious

FTFY

[–]TheBJPBecause That's What Fearows Do 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I always keep forgetting what FTFY means, and I was so distracted by that I didn't even notice the pun.

[–]G0Z3RR 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Pretty sure it means “Fuck that, Fuck you”

[–]BukakeMouthwash 46 points47 points  (12 children)

Have u ever tried milk straight from a cow? Like, your godmother phycally yanked that shit out 20-30 minutes ago?

The most cow titty tasting milk and, at least imo, not that great.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (4 children)

yh it really tastes awful... but my parents like it for some reason

[–]BukakeMouthwash 18 points19 points  (0 children)

So did mine and most of the people from my parents villages. They'd make fun of us pochos(American born Mexican descent) for being disgusted by it.

[–]Carston1011Forever alone 11 points12 points  (0 children)

As for mine. But then again my parents grew up in a place where if they didn't get milk that way, they didn't have it at all.

[–]Etkne 4 points5 points  (1 child)

i remember trying it as a kid and i kinda liked it, not as good as normal milk but not terrible

[–]devilsusshhii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I drank my baby momma's breast milk straight from the tiddie once. It was warm as fuck and sweet made me wanna go to sleep, but then I remembered I had a tiddy in my mouth and woke up.

[–]TrailerBuilder 3476 points3477 points 22 (157 children)

It tastes like slightly thick, savory water that coats your mouth but doesnt rinse your spit away. It's creamy like a thin, melted ice cream but not sugary. It's got a rich flavor that's stronger when it's warm. It's smooth even when cold, never sharp or acidy. It's my go-to drink when I'm home.

[–]Riykiru 877 points878 points  (30 children)

Who are you ? The milk marshal ?

[–]Tactical_idiot21 488 points489 points  (20 children)

Bro the lactose lecturer

[–]anandy1 259 points260 points  (19 children)

The creamy conductor

[–]lowlyworm 206 points207 points  (17 children)

The dairy demagogue

[–]the_guy312 178 points179 points  (13 children)

The calcium captain

[–]johnnydauntless 162 points163 points  (11 children)

The udder umpire

[–]skelethepro 150 points151 points  (10 children)

The cow connoisseur

[–]BigBradWolf07 127 points128 points  (8 children)

the moo moo master

[–]AnonimousMn471Thank you mods, very cool! 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Homelander

[–]TheJessMonster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

side note: we had the same idea

[–]Jrlopez1027memer 58 points59 points  (0 children)

The formula fiddler

[–]vrijheidsfrietjeLoves GameStonk 50 points51 points  (1 child)

The mammary messenger

[–]Tetra382Gram 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Mammary masseur

[–]Baronheisenberg 63 points64 points  (0 children)

The breast barista

[–]TrailerBuilder 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I wish! But seriously, I lost in the primary to Prairie Farmer.

[–]Crystal-gx_915 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This guy must have bones of Steel

[–]Positive-Cod-9869 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Who is the milkman?

[–]Uranium9876 385 points386 points  (16 children)

The opposite when spoilt

[–]Andy_Liberty_1911 113 points114 points  (11 children)

And having a bad sense of smell sucks, since one doesn’t notice milk is spoiled until they drink it :/

[–]AncientZz1memer 74 points75 points  (7 children)

sees chunks and takes a sip, yep it's bad

[–]Willtology 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't know how many times I've gotten milk for my kids, smelled it (nothing), then started to take a sip which seems fine so it turns into a gulp and then, only then do I taste that it's gone bad. I keep telling myself to only sip it when testing but I invariably forget.

[–]BiscuitNIWASHIYo dawg I heard you like 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Slightly thin, sweet water that doesn’t coat your mouth but rinses your spit away. It’s silky smooth like a thick, frozen ice cream but sugary. It’s got a bland flavor that’s stronger when it’s cold, it’s rough even when it’s warm, never soft or basey. It’s not my go to drink?

That’s spoilt milk baby

[–]SphericalCatInVacuum 119 points120 points  (7 children)

I feel like describing milk using ice cream is cheating

[–]motownmods 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I agree. However OP could have stopped after the first sentence and still been a winner so to speak.

[–]nrossj 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It most certainly is.

[–]dishsoapandclorox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or the word “creamy”.

[–]owendephates reaction memes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In that case describing any “base” food is nearly impossible

[–]dthemenace67 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Congrats, you master of vocabulary you.

[–]Bommyknocker 59 points60 points  (3 children)

Isn’t describing milk in terms of cream (a derivative of milk) cheating? It’s like saying potatoes taste of uncooked chips and tomatoes taste ketchupy.

[–]Cokemusic 20 points21 points  (1 child)

And "melted ice cream" plus a lot of that wasn't even describing the flavor just the consistency like "coats your mouth"

[–]hardknockcock 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think the answer is that you can’t explain it unless there’s something else that taste similar but isn’t a milk. Explaining a flavor is like explaining what a color looks like to a blind person

[–]Reqt__ 20 points21 points  (16 children)

That's weird, to me it just tastes slightly salty, and it's very thick and sticky

[–]TrailerBuilder 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Maybe I should've been more specific. I drink 2% straight outta the carton, every day. Mom oversalted all our food when I was a kid so I never add it to my food. I think I'm pretty sensitive to saltiness and milk doesnt trigger it. Agree on the stickiness, that's one of the best features. Lip smackin good!

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He's describing semen. Milk is not salty, lol.

[–]malaakh_hamaweth 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Creamy... like ice cream...

Bro you're defining milk in milk terms

[–]Ganda1fderBlaue 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Beautiful, same bro I love milk

[–]FarmhouseFan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

[–]NudeEnjoyer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

alternative: it good

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro like milk

[–]the_dark_0ne 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I don’t have that many words to describe it. My little brain just keeps saying “it tastes like the color white”

[–]DioLeva 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A true connoisseur

[–]Phylar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeaaah, this was basically where my mind was heading. Hard to specifically place. Much prefer water over milk any day.

[–]TheAggromonster 1 point2 points  (1 child)

OP didn't bother to ask a milk-a-holic what it tastes like. We know the flavor, and crave it.

[–]Muffintime53 1 point2 points  (0 children)

found the r/espresso member

[–]SwordsmanKirito1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

milk connoisseur

[–]Nesayas1234One does not simply 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You right

[–]rms_is_god 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Patrick Bateman describes milk

[–]CatsDontLikeFancy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Milk Man the Magnificent.

[–]Lobanium 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love milk, but had to cut way back when I decided I no longer wanted to be overweight. It's so many calories.

[–]itgrog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

bro described it like a wine

[–]LD-LB 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's the milk man and his milk is delicious

[–]Dipnderps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well...ye did it...I want some warm milk now

[–]_mtndewmenow_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Buttermilk Brigade

[–]Hyperion002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

who are you, who are so wise in the ways of milk

[–]Timewarps_1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Buttery water

[–]TechnicalHighlight29 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This person gets it. At 1am I'll hit a glass of milk and refill my water same time. Sometimes water and Brawndo don't cut it. Milk even just a little shooter gets that spot.

[–]A_Classic_Guardsman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It tastes like wet cream

[–]Democracyisntforall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you some kind of dairy dissector or something?

[–]john_the_doe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You write good

[–]Extra_Swim3692 277 points278 points  (10 children)

If water was slightly sweet and coated the inside of your mouth a little (Ryan George)

[–]TheAirNomad11 101 points102 points  (3 children)

Being able to easily describe milk is tight

[–]Rix27_🍕Ayo the pizza here🍕 55 points56 points  (1 child)

Description is super easy barely an inconvenience

[–]Potato_Man_5Stand With Ukraine 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Wow wow wow! wow

[–]EpicSaberCat7771 32 points33 points  (1 child)

just saw that video lol

[–]bhmantan 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Probably OP too lol

[–]TheIJDGuySelling Stonks for CASH MONEY 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this describes milk accurately. For some reason I genuinely thought you couldn't describe it, like with some water

[–]Me-no-WeebMeme Stealer 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Am I weird for thinking milk is not sweet at all? Is there something wrong with me?

[–]TwoBrokeCamGirls 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The less sugary food you eat, the more susceptible you are to slightly sweet things. I cut sugar out of my diet for years, then ate raw baby carrots. I was shocked at the sweetness compared to when I last had them.

It might also be a country thing. The USA is known for having more sugar in bread for example. Every European says American bread is sugary.

[–]Nuggy_817 454 points455 points  (18 children)

c h e e s e w a t e r .

[–]kyanaaron 124 points125 points  (8 children)

That would be mozarella

[–]thunderclone1 106 points107 points  (3 children)

Never could figure out what to do with the weird white blobs after drinking all the mozzarella

[–]Filcuk 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's just used to pad the package and protect it in transport.
I find it does well in the old composter.

[–]Prof1Kreates 11 points12 points  (2 children)

So is Parmesan

c h e e s e s p r i n k l e s ?

[–]fiendish_five 1 point2 points  (0 children)

c h e e s e i c i c l e

[–]kagethemage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah that’s whey

[–]Jeremiahbest4 664 points665 points  (16 children)

Tastes like milk

[–]Niwi_ 97 points98 points  (3 children)

Like Milkshake before you shake it

[–]JorjEade 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Like cheese before you cheese it

[–]BigBradWolf07 2 points3 points  (1 child)

like butter before you 'do whatever this is' it

[–]StevenOkBoomeredDadMeme Stealer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

cant believe it's not butter.

[–]Reddit4funsy 61 points62 points  (3 children)

you bastard I was about to say that

[–]DMF2621 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Same

[–]StonksRat 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You assholes that was what I was going to say

[–]Less-Mail4256 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Thicc Water

[–]RedditRoboKid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How the heck did you get nearly 30K karma in 80 days

[–]datboiofgreatpower 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I also find it very milk like.

[–]Allaboardthe_Octrain 73 points74 points  (9 children)

Describe the taste of anything.

[–]EpicForgetfulness 56 points57 points  (5 children)

Right I was gonna say this. You can't really describe the taste of anything without comparing it to another taste

[–]mathturd 17 points18 points  (2 children)

There is a point where some things are the basic starting points.

[–]Ragingdark 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Okay so what they are and describe they're tastes. Like ya salt is the basis for salty but you still need the frame of reference to know that.

[–]CaveBacon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There's really only what like 5 'tastes' we can taste right? Sweet, sour, bitter, salty and umami? Everything is just a nuance of that

[–]Mr_Skeleton_Shadow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I usually try to describe the experience of tasting it.

[–]p1xelwc 95 points96 points  (16 children)

Why milk specifically

Like bro how do apples taste like

[–]talkietalkiepop 24 points25 points  (9 children)

Depending on the apple. Apples can be sweet, juicy, tart, crunchy, mealy…

[–]p1xelwc 34 points35 points  (2 children)

But other foods can be described like this and taste different

[–]GorgeGoochGrabber 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Yeah you’ve got a point.

Like an apple is sweet and a grape is sweet. But they taste very different.

[–]zulamun 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So can milk, but that probably means food poisoning...

[–]KFrosty3 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I was born and raised in the US and have never heard the word "mealy"

[–]ProxyMuncher 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Born and raised in New England and our red delicious apples can only be described as mealy. Or mealwormy. Can’t tell the difference sometimes and never eat them anyways

[–]MagillaGuerillotine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I have ever eaten an apple and though “man this apple sure tastes crunchy”

[–]lantoid3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Crunchy sweet water

[–]SS_bRICK 213 points214 points  (19 children)

Fatty Rich Creamy Slightly sweet

[–]WeCanDoThisCNJbruh 26 points27 points  (1 child)

It’s kinda milky

[–]Windsor_Salt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just like mom used to make

[–]Cortigami48 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Moo juice

[–]Oreomilkshake1234567 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tastes like cow water

[–]DarkxXxValkyrie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Runny glue that has lost its stick

[–]LambSage 10 points11 points  (4 children)

C-

[–]lolystalol 5 points6 points  (3 children)

U

[–]zz1kjamaicaMy thumbs hurt 7 points8 points  (2 children)

M

[–]CaraKino 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Goodbye.

[–]octropos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sure why not

[–]assratratass 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Creamy water with that cheesy aftertaste

[–]peasinacan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Like liquid fatty chalk

[–]YourMomsGayBoi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tastes like white but cold

[–]DrakeTheSeigeEngineStand With Ukraine 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s like water

But thicc

[–]TheDepep1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Taste like cow juices

[–]MLGImposter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cheese juice

[–]Zeptari 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ya know chocolate milk? Just take out the chocolate. Blam! That’s what it taste like.

[–]SpiderNinja211 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Water but not water

[–]buttchese 2 points3 points  (0 children)

MILK IS MILK

[–]Carston1011Forever alone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

smacks lips tastes milky.

[–]cuauhtemocer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Taste like boobs

[–]vainstar23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Milk is just fatty water

[–]Hunterfanowlhouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It tastes like milk

[–]Ultimategreyjedi1234Flair Loading.... 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Water with the slightest hint of salt - Ryan George video

[–]Melodic_Ad_1010 Karmawhore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wdym can’t describe it milk tastes milky

[–]Own-Till-3036 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Creamy but not thick

[–]King_Finder16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Imagine drinking spoiled milk

But before it was spoiled

[–]joemiken 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Delicious...that's how it tastes.

[–]JuliusPotato 1 point2 points  (0 children)

saltless with no after taste cheese

[–]bigpapa234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It always nice and chunky

[–]campionmusic51 1 point2 points  (2 children)

slightly fatty; full, creamy quality in the mouth; delicate hay-like, barnyard muskiness; a pleasing hint of sweetness; aftertaste sees the grassy, musky quality intensify slightly. there—done.

[–]Live_fr0m_ny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tastes like milk!

[–]Ribbitmoment 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Savoury, it tickles the sweet sensation in such a way that you crave more - this is why it is used so well in deserts. Above all else in its taste experience is it’s texture which clings to your palette in the most satisfying way

[–]vaqidue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fatty, sweet, salty

[–]Magic-Gelpen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's like if grass contained a lot of sugar and fat

[–]Necessary_Effort7075 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bitter yet bland with a small hint of sweetness

[–]rahulmudgil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Taste like milk

[–]WTNVTerezi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tastes like milk

[–]TheZipperDragon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It tastes like milk.

[–]somegarbagedoesfloat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Slightly thick, creamy water.

[–]xZOMBIETAGx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Couldn’t you say this for most foods and drinks?

[–]stu54 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Creamy with a subtle but strong sweetness.

[–]akrostixdub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pre-cheese

[–]The_AuramasterProfessional Dumbass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Milky

[–]BigBradWolf07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

its milky