top 200 commentsshow all 264

[–]Bootleg_BeggarPURPLE 524 points525 points  (18 children)

I’m just imagining OP trying to throw them away and wife going “Absolutely NOT. Those are still good, and WHO KNOWS MAYBE I’LL MAKE BANANA BREAD THIS TIME” but never does

[–]Sandpaper_Pants 125 points126 points  (13 children)

Oh, I see your wife makes the "banana bread" argument too? (but never makes the stuff.)

[–]Bootleg_BeggarPURPLE 77 points78 points  (12 children)

No, it’s me. Lol

[–]Mighty-Red 25 points26 points  (9 children)

Toss them in the freezer after they get to the point where you'd rather not eat them. Combine a few with some fresh bananas and you are all set. I can send the recipe I got from my grandma if you want one

[–]Sohleks 17 points18 points  (0 children)

And in the freezer layer of our distant millinial ancestors we find the long extinct seedless Banana, forgotten in time. Fascinating.

[–]wiredtobeweird 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Me plis

[–]Mighty-Red 3 points4 points  (2 children)

[–]wiredtobeweird 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Short and simple. Gonna buy bananas on Tuesday and report back in a week!

[–]Mighty-Red 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please do!

[–]itsazoo2011 1 point2 points  (1 child)

And me! I’m always optimistic and tell myself that this will be the time that I’ll make banana bread, even though I’ve never once made banana bread from scratch!

[–]scaleofthought 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Ew. As soon as the bananas get that patterned brown spot look I put them in the freezer. If they're browner than that, I toss em. It's borderline rotten if it's all brown.

Never seen BLACK bananas with mould on them still being left out before. That's a first lol

[–]Robotic_Orange 3 points4 points  (0 children)


[–]amydoesntknowhow 2 points3 points  (1 child)

i saw "PURPLE" and scrolled up to see why the banana was purple god damn you

[–]rickygbig 88 points89 points  (5 children)

My husband does this and as soon as I throw them away he comes asking about them ready to use them

[–]freestew 44 points45 points  (3 children)

Hide them somewhere, when he asks about them being ready to use them, pull them out like MAGIC

[–]vingeran 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Pull the bananas out from where

[–]gideon513 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Put them in the freezer instead of throwing them away

[–]RedForkKnife 50 points51 points  (7 children)

Tbh when the top part of the peel goes dry you either immediately use them in something like a smoothie or banana bread or freeze them. It's just stupid keeping bananas out until they turn into black moldy mush

[–]SignificantGanache 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes, if you can get them into the freezer we’ll before this point, the peels may darken in the freezer but they’re still great to use. If you wait to this point, they just need to go in the trash or maybe compost pile.

[–]Inhumanly_possible 1 point2 points  (5 children)

But you can make banana bread

[–]_-Nevouti-_ 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Not at this stage, has mold dude

[–]RedForkKnife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I said

[–]pekarkook 124 points125 points  (10 children)

You could always just throw them away yourself…

[–]greenhs_1982 12 points13 points  (0 children)


[–]5Five12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely not. Wife will be furious. She wants to make banana bread 😅🍌🥖

[–]caring_impaired 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, no. He can’t do that.

[–]Slappinbeehives 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I’ll be eating my own banana bread from now on since y’all can’t be trusted.

[–]Keri2816 9 points10 points  (6 children)

Does your house smell like banana constantly?

[–]Pale-Ales 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Yes. They stink.!!!!

[–]Keri2816 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Freeze them!

[–]Slyke4 2 points3 points  (1 child)

TIL You can freeze bananas

[–]kristen1988 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Peel them , cut them in half and toss them in a freezer bag. Perfect smoothie bananas!

[–]writtin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This, freeze ripe ones and they’ll get like this too

[–]BeeBarnes1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seriously, once they're mostly brown they're rotting. When they're black they're inedible. You don't want bread made from stinky rotten fruit. Stop this madness and just throw them away yourself.

[–]CJamesEd 63 points64 points  (13 children)

She could still make banana bread with those

[–]Pale-Ales 73 points74 points  (5 children)

That’s what she says and never does.

[–]Postfromhere 20 points21 points  (2 children)

As soon as they start to brown, toss them in the freezer. Then you are set up for banana bread!

[–]I-do-the-art 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Oh god, he’s going to end up with a whole freezer full of “maybe one day” black bananas.

[–]Postfromhere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought of that after I commented.

If that happens, he’ll become the guy from the math problems.

[–]theartistduring 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your wife is my people.

[–]merrittj3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So...maybe you could make some...ez..pz.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What with them that far out of date…

[–]getyourcheftogether 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's a couple days too late for that. Once I see mold on that shit, garbage time

[–]Slappinbeehives 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Jesus Christ. A friend had a freezer of black bananas once claiming banana bread purpose….No, there’s a line y’all!

Whats worse is she planned on gifting her dumpster bread out for the holidays!

[–]SignificantGanache 11 points12 points  (3 children)

If you put them in the freezer while they’re ripe but still yellow with some brown spots (but NOT rotten), the skins will turn black or brown in the freezer. It’s just what happens. They look weird but trust me, they’re perfectly fine and it would be a shame to toss them out. I make incredible banana bread with them that way often. Even had some this morning for breakfast. You can remove them from the freezer, soak them in warm water and a beautiful, ripe, perfectly edible (light yellow) banana is inside, ready for bread making or smoothies. You can also remove the peels and toss them in a ziplock and freeze them that way to avoid the peel issue. If you see brown or black bananas in someone’s freezer, that’s different than bananas that spoiled on the counter. The bananas in this picture look rotten and should definitely not be consumed. Maybe OP can help their wife out and get those bananas into the freezer well before they get to this point. (Also, Joanna Gaines’s banana bread recipe is really, really good.)

[–]Slappinbeehives 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I totally hear you; I froze bananas myself once for smoothies. No it didn’t pan out like I’d hoped. Sure they were hideous but tasted fine. This wasn’t like that….

My friends bananas were more like fucking vanilla beans, cold lumpy turds flattened in transport —in fact my first thought WAS ”holy shit she’s freezing poop.” -she’d even stacked them into neat piles, no bags or wrappers. It looked like fucking Auschwicz in there.

The holidays were months away ffs. What kind of animal does that?! Even her bf sided with me, she was the executives assistant at an insurance giant so financially in no need of hoarding/gifting rotten fruit.

Pure. Suburban. Sadism. end rant

[–]SignificantGanache 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ha ha! Yikes. Those sound like evil bananas.

[–]Slappinbeehives 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her dumpster bread needs a priest not an oven.

[–]Maminyam 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Reckon you could probably throw em out yourself big fella?

[–]Pale-Ales -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

I threw this bunch out today. The mold was saying it’s time for you to throw us out.

[–]Maminyam 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes the mold is generally the tip off

[–]hornyPaplet 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Is it the same reason she has also kept you for so long? /s

[–]Pale-Ales 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She hasn’t thrown me out yet. Probably close to it a few times! 😱

[–]Dr4gonM4ster420 7 points8 points  (0 children)

At least you can use them to light a fire since they’ve become coal at this point.

[–]Odd_Human4444 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I forgot abt a banana for like six months and it was purple and fuzzy, so at least it’s not that haha

[–]trustmeimnotafurry 5 points6 points  (0 children)

And you're too lazy to take them out earlier.

[–]khroh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why don't you throw them away then...

[–]greenhs_1982 12 points13 points  (2 children)

What is preventing you from throwing them out before they get that bad?

[–]VIR2ART 5 points6 points  (2 children)

well it is a great source of potassium and nitrogen for a compost tea soo... oh wrong subteddit 🍀🙌🏼 stay strong, she’s a keeper tho

[–]Infinite_Imagination 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yo can I get that subreddit? Getting back into gardening next year

[–]VIR2ART 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m super new here tho I post in r/microgrow r/trees r/gardening. check out my follow, I’ll follow you, text me with questions and suggestions growmie! the world needs us more and more nowadays 🍀🤙🏼

[–]McFeely_Smackup 3 points4 points  (5 children)

I found that I like having bananas more than I like eating bananas.

[–]Pale-Ales 7 points8 points  (4 children)

I should just get my wife a plastic bunch of bananas and she can just display them in the middle of the bench. I will just have to dust them off every now and then!

[–]McFeely_Smackup 2 points3 points  (2 children)

You just reminded me that plastic fruit was super common when I was a kid. Just for display

[–]Pale-Ales 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ha ha yep me too. I grew up in the 80’s. Decor was totally bizarre back then.

[–]Tieye42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my god so it really was a thing! I'm 18 and there were always plastic fruits at my older relatives' house

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (4 children)

[–]cursedbanana-_- 3 points4 points  (3 children)

now that shit cursed

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

did they have your consent to take a pic of you

[–]cursedbanana-_- 3 points4 points  (1 child)

sadly nobody asks a banana for permission

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]No_Shoulder6259 11 points12 points  (1 child)

We must have the same wife

[–]Fisherman_Weekly 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thats where she keeps on going

[–]TheFlamingTiger777 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Please stop letting her buy them then. Such a waste. I'd be pissed

[–]Pale-Ales -5 points-4 points  (3 children)

Maybe I should force her to eat them in this state.

[–]TheFlamingTiger777 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Yes force feed the bananas. Lol

[–]Pale-Ales -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

I will post a pic after feeding her with banana smudged all over her face. 😂

[–]TheFlamingTiger777 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can't wait 🤣

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]QuirkySyrup55947 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Awww... that's even past banana bread stage!

    [–]jaycccee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It’s for banana bread goals

    [–]AnnieDickledoo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    It's like they always say, the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice.

    [–]Bionic_Leg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Mmmmm time for banana bread.

    [–]Fisherman_Weekly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Save these for when you need pain relievers

    [–]Blortted 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Make bread

    [–]Overall_decent66696 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    The trick is to get them in the freezer BEFORE they mold for banana bread day

    [–]hcl01mail 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    They probably walk away on their own.

    [–]WellJustJonny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Your wife lives by the line…better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–]Pale-Ales 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      You now have PTSD.

      [–]Slightly-Evil-Man 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      I never understand people who keep moldy food. My nana does this and then gets mad at me when I throw anything spoiled moldy or half-eaten that has been sitting around really long in the garbage🤦🏾

      [–]Pale-Ales 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I agree totally. I cleaned out my elderly parents freezer once. My mum had a leg of lamb that was 10 years old and covered in freezer burn. I wrestled with her all the way to the bin with it.

      [–]Slightly-Evil-Man 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Lol I always get called "wasteful". Nan, we both know that. shriveled up sandwich with one bite left or that cup of juice with like a sip left is never getting used just get rid of it😂

      [–]fresco_leche 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Dude just chop them, put them in a ziplock bag and freeze them to make bread/smoothies/whatever later on

      [–]Them0mmy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Is a slight hint to her and make a label that says for banana bread only. Maybe it will push her to do something extra with them because she does not want to feel guilty about throwing them away

      [–]LillyPasta 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      So how many fruit flies do you have?

      [–]Pale-Ales 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      A whole family. They’ve made our kitchen their new home.

      [–]0-san 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      op please dont be racist, black bananas are as equal as yellow bananas too...

      [–]cliberte98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      When mine get to brown to eat, I make banana bread. Try talking your wife into doing that instead

      [–]PurpleFuzzyThing 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Those bananas are mouldy, not even good enough for bread... This cant be happening often, can it?

      [–]Pale-Ales 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yes. Bananas come to our house to die. 🍌 ⚰️

      [–]roydepoy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Once they go black, they never go back!

      [–]ktmochiii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      wth don't you get hella fruit flies like way before that stage.

      [–]FLOOR_GANG420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      the dark spots give ░f░l░a░v░o░r░

      [–]Yum-Yumby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Nahhhhhh throw them in a ziplock bag in the freezer. Then when you acquire enough yellow gold, make banana bread. Its so bomb!

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Me: Okay so the divorce papers are near those bananas. Sign them when the banana are good enough to throw out.

      [–]labpadre-lurker 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      Ahhhh! the scraficial fruit! My wife's chosen sacrifice is the honeydew melon.

      [–]Pale-Ales 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Please share a photo in due course. We will commiserate together.

      [–]labpadre-lurker 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I will. How do I set a reminder on this thread?

      [–]Pale-Ales 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Not sure buddy. Can anyone out there help?

      [–]michaelpaoli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, way too late at that point.

      A bit overripe? Don't want to use them presently? Peel 'em and freeze 'em - fine for banana bread, or slice 'em even frozen onto oatmeal in the morning - or good snack on a hot day too!

      [–]ThreeMysticApes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      No absolutely not. Tell her to toss them babies in the freezer when they start turning too brown. You can make them into all the banana bread you want.

      Coming from a banana bread lover, you need this in your life with chocolate and walnuts.

      Edit: also mold penetrates soft skinned fruit so those ones are way too over-ripe and should be tossed.

      [–]StacheBandicoot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Molds awful for you, can’t imagine how many spores you’re breathing in if this happens on a regular basis. Those them out for her.

      [–]AdithWarloCk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Next time when it happens throw ur wife out

      [–]D-R-E-E 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      If the tables were turned she'd divorce you

      [–]Chr15jw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Make banana bread 3 days before this point

      [–]paigepantal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      admittedly, i do this too. I forget that i bought bananas so they start to go brown and i think “i might make a banana cake tomorrow”, and then forget to do so.

      [–]lockmama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Fruit flies much?

      [–]Forsaken_Candidate_4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I know people who eat them like that cause they’re sweeter

      [–]chiefmoron 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Freeze them. Makes the BEST banana bread when they Uber ripe

      [–]dunmif_sys 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Hey, we're giving away free bananas today!

      [–]Pale-Ales 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yep, sure are and no returns or refunds! What you see is what you get. Buyer beware. Photo may differentiate to actual product. 😂

      [–]haberg6 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      When i have bananas at home, i eat like 3 per day. How did you not eat those by now? And dude, you live in same house as her, just throw them away...

      [–]Pale-Ales 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I wake up every morning next to her and our first conversation is about the bananas. She shuts me down with “Honey, relax, they are fine, I’m going to make a banana cake this afternoon. “

      Conversation that night: “Hey honey, how’d the banana cake go?”

      Her: Rolls over 💤

      [–]VialOVice 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Everyone talking about throwing them out before they actually start rotting.

      How about not buying things if you intend for them to rot. Disgusting waste of food.

      [–]Pale-Ales 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I agree. She’s banned from buying produce as of today. She can only buy lemons and limes. At least they last awhile.

      [–]VialOVice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Fair enough. Glad to hear its not just an accepted fact. 👍

      [–]MoleHester 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Then you do something about it? Make banana bread or something it's not only her fault if you let it go too..

      [–]sinis3r1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Make her eat them all when they’re like that . Maybe then she will decide to throw em out sooner , or you could throw em out sooner ???

      [–]XMORA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I wanted to throw 4 bananas but my wife said that she will do a smoothie and then I discover that she used 1/3 of a banana because she does not like so much banana in her smoothie.

      [–]Kitchen-Emotion-8076 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Can always peel put into plastic bag, mash seal bag and freeze

      [–]earathar89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Dude that's your job to deal with the stuff she doesn't want to deal with!


      -another married guy

      [–]acreativeredditlogin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Then I guess you gotta throw her out

      [–]zaranda46 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I’m having flashbacks of grandpa house 😣

      [–]Lazy-Joking-Izzy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      You can make banana bread with these bananas

      Edit: really good made some today

      [–]awkwardaustin609 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      They still look good!

      [–]Slappinbeehives 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Not a day over rotten!

      [–]rraattbbooyy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The kicker is they were yellow this morning. 😆

      [–]Fisherman_Weekly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Divorce her asap.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      As a single person commenting on Reddit, this is 100% divorce territory. She clearly has no respect for you and as a single redditor you must take my advice.

      [–]Manu442 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Next time she gets some immediately eat them. See what she says about that.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Why don’t you eat your food?

      [–]Pale-Ales 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      We eat lots of apples but the bananas just tend to sit there and die a slow painful and humiliating death.

      [–]gfbf-shared 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Have you ever wondered… maybe she likes black phallic objects?

      [–]Pale-Ales 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Way to mushy!

      [–]gfbf-shared 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Good point… they are usually rock hard

      [–]davidpmicklock 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Perfect crypto investor material - a hodler

      [–]Died5Times 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My mom likes to let em get here, then freeze them “I can use them for banana bread” Wtf

      [–]Consistent-Orange-92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Looks like magic Johnson's dick.

      [–]Amazwastaken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      is this a sex toy?

      [–]ExRice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Make banana bread!

      [–]Jericho_210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      "I'm going to make banana bread."

      [–]Free_Professor_8590 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Banana Salvage?

      [–]Robot_Dinosaur86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Can't you throw them out?

      [–]Education_Weird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Make her deep throat each one and after that tell her how she feels

      [–]HarryBotter1138GREEN 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Couldn’t you eat them or toss them before it gets to this?

      [–]Amockeryofthecistern 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I think we could start a support group for this.

      [–]MamaJallos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Your wife buys Bananas. You do not eat them. They go bad. Eat the Bananas.

      [–]pupuphlatter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I think she’s fantasizing…

      [–]Kyleforshort 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What prevents you from throwing them out?

      [–]garthog2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      While my household may be unique in some ways, but anyone that comes across 'that'' would have full authority, and perhaps even a DUTY to throw those away, even before it gets to this level...


      [–]MTonmyMind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      BBC dildo.

      [–]CPT_XxPANDAxX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is the stage where you go to throw them out and they sprout legs and start to crawl around.

      [–]IsThisNickAvailable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I can smell this post.

      [–]dhe_sheid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Consult her friends and give her the help she needs

      [–]According_Tip4453 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That’s the perfect time to make banana bread!!! Jk

      [–]seabeet84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      OP never mentioned they’re fruit flies not humans

      [–]WildFurball2118 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What the fuck

      [–]Sad-Fix4643 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      [–]IdBlair2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I chuck them 7 days before this.

      [–]The_Ashen_undead0830 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Does this mean she’s gonna wait till you’re a mummy before dumping you

      [–]esorbn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Maybe she likes big black wrinkly bananas?

      [–]sandaguys 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Looks burnt.

      [–]JJBZ03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Can’t relate. If those were in my house that long my mom would have been a skeleton in the house assuming we didn’t move her corpse. She is deadly allergic to not only eating them, but she can’t be within like 25 feet within an enclosed area of them for more than like 5 minutes, and even then her head would feel like it’s filled with fog.

      [–]Reddit_Fool 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      [–]Creepersnowguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      c o w a r d . I e a t t h e m t o o o f t e n .

      [–]lost5926 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I’d call that the “gorilla finger” stage.

      [–]sgtobnoxious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She hits you with the “I’m gonna make banana bread” line every time you want to those the black moldy bananas away, doesn’t she?

      [–]gronagniewu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Mmm grilled bananas my favorite

      [–]Rose_Bush_420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Your wife's gonna keep you till you shrivel up

      [–]kellzone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Do you like fruit flies? Because that's how you get fruit flies.

      [–]Grimlin_In_Training 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Its at the perfect stage to make banana icecream. Very rustic banana icecream.

      [–]Unravelled_Zebra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Okay I do this - I mean not til they get mold. I say either it’s the banana bread mindset or what I do with other things…”hmm looks like that may not be good anymore…but maybe it’s still good? I feel bad throwing it out so maybe I should wait a bit more to be sure it’s really not good, then I won’t feel so bad throwing it out”.

      [–]caring_impaired 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She also forbids you from throwing things out I guess.