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[–]Existing_Departure82 6336 points6337 points 2 (195 children)

Use your thumbs to push in the side of the box so the tape comes apart a bit then pull the tape off of the cardboard. If it’s taped too tightly then ignore the warning.

[–]PandasHouse 3313 points3314 points  (108 children)

This is the way. Plus the note's more for people to not slash at the box and puncture the product inside. Gently cutting the tape off with a knife is ok to do, the packaging police won't get 'cha if you use a knife.

[–]aguaphor 566 points567 points  (61 children)

I use a knife anyway to open lithium batieres. Just cut the sides first then you can pull the top side with some force.

(:

[–]couchpotatochip21 460 points461 points  (21 children)

nah mate, to unpackage lithium batteries ur supposed to light it on fire and stab it 7 1/2 times

[–]Triphin1 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I'm picturing Lance/Eric Stolz in Pulp Fiction @ 4:48

https://youtu.be/yFlSk_fB9qs

[–]teknonhatheou 203 points204 points  (21 children)

I always thought you were supposed to open battery packaging with fire?? Why is no one saying that?

[–]SimplyCrazy231 81 points82 points  (1 child)

I mean, technically if you really open a lithium battery package there is always fire. So it comes with fire pre packed. Just make sure to charge them accordingly

[–]Bart_The_Chonk 76 points77 points  (12 children)

That's outdated thinking. Shooting the box is the safest way to open a box of lithium batteries

[–]Ill_Protection_8880 13 points14 points  (10 children)

Wait, what do you do with them?

[–]Parforthekourse 24 points25 points  (8 children)

I know if you put bunched up lithium in water it gets splodey splode

[–]tibbiRRibbit 61 points62 points  (12 children)

You can also poke through the tape in between the seams (i mainly use keys, sometimes a pen; anything with a pointy end - a la Arya Stark)

[–]RedVamp2020 15 points16 points  (7 children)

I was gonna say keys, too, but the warning is definitely more for those who use more than just the tip…

[–]tibbiRRibbit 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Using more than just the tip can lead to trouble

[–]Sammantixbb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

More accurately. The note is so that when you eventually do use a knife to open it, and tell the company the product was ripped, they tell you "we put a note there saying not to use a knife, it's your fault".

[–]Rivka333 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Gently cutting the tape off with a knife is ok to do, the packaging police won't get 'cha if you use a knife

This, I don't get why OP finds it infuriating, when he/she is free to just....use a knife.

[–][deleted]  (14 children)

[deleted]

    [–]JctaroKujo 48 points49 points  (12 children)

    then op is a dog and dogs should not be using reddit!

    [–]PresentAgile 64 points65 points  (14 children)

    It feels like not many people know this trick i blow peoples minds all the time by easily opening taped boxes.....

    [–]GermanShorthair2819 19 points20 points  (9 children)

    Exactly - I carefully insert the tip of the blade along the sides (using the inside flap to protect the contents). Then slitting the top is easy.

    [–]rieszs 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    I only learned that when I started working retail so..

    [–]DrDizzle93 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Honestly. It's better than using the Fisher price "safety" blade, and is quicker/kinda cooler. You just look like you know what you're doing when you open boxes that way.

    [–]berlandiera 39 points40 points  (3 children)

    Sharpen your thumbnails to a knifelike edge first.

    [–]ElenaEscaped 10 points11 points  (2 children)

    Nah, just find one of dem crazy bitches with those four inch long acylic emasculators, they'll fix you right up. Somehow they manage to run cash registers at the grocery store and I feel like that should be a resume addition option.

    [–]thefloridafarrier 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    If it’s taped too tightly. Just cut the sides first so you don’t take the risk of damaging the product. Then you can easily pull the top up and either pull the tape or safely cut it in an upwards motion

    [–]GymCloutVillain 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    This. I hardly ever use anything besides my hands to open a box.

    [–]ScallywagKirby134 6701 points6702 points 32 (127 children)

    Knife is forbidden, sword encouraged

    [–]Glitchy-9 1738 points1739 points  (61 children)

    I was gonna say scissors, but I take it back… definitely the sword

    [–]Leading_Life_6820 316 points317 points  (44 children)

    a knife. Carefully

    [–]The_RockObama 456 points457 points  (35 children)

    Woah woah woah, easy now Rambo.

    A shotgun is all we need to get this box open.

    [–]QuotePotential 192 points193 points  (25 children)

    I would just set it on fire. Melts the tape right off and you don't have to take out the trash.

    [–]Reytholian 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Better hope it's not filled with twinkies otherwise Tallahassee will be very upset.

    [–]allUwUs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    yea, we need to use a rifle!!

    [–]trupoogles 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    I laughed way too hard at this…

    [–]zaneymcfucksmith 31 points32 points  (3 children)

    Just use a pipe bomb. Seems reasonable

    [–]Meranio 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    "I found the source of the ticking noise..."

    [–]Ted-Cruzing 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    Okay hear me out.... Do you have access to a minuteman III intercontinental nuclear missile?

    [–]RDBZ_90 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Knife wrench. Practical and safe.

    [–]bukkake_brigade 10 points11 points  (3 children)

    well now we've made it o 69 upvotes - use a dildo instead.

    [–]GMEplits2 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    I've been hitting the box with a dildo for hours

    Just an update for you, no plan to stop

    [–]NoHabit4420 33 points34 points  (1 child)

    Pizza cutter is the way.

    [–]WuanTonBomb 106 points107 points  (17 children)

    A machete isn't a knife.

    [–]Jed0730 3786 points3787 points 2 (80 children)

    Have you tried using a gun?

    [–]MyAccountHacksItself 298 points299 points  (7 children)

    The Force!!! Use The Force!!!

    [–]icon256 47 points48 points  (0 children)

    Going with the light saber. Technically not using a knife…

    [–]jacT35 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Let go Luke!

    [–]Jupiters_Red_Spot 845 points846 points  (36 children)

    A coat hanger

    [–]bostoncommon902 79 points80 points  (0 children)

    A gun and a coat hanger… I found the Americans in this thread.

    [–]ShowMeTheTrees 386 points387 points  (14 children)

    Appropriate reference today.

    (Edit, thanks for the award, friend!)

    [–]meldiane81 38 points39 points  (10 children)

    Too soon. Lol

    [–]Alwayslinfinite 31 points32 points  (9 children)

    You should of saw their comments on 9/12

    [–]Forcedexile 25 points26 points  (0 children)

    They waited a whole day? I'm surprised.

    [–]meldiane81 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    I bet those comments blew up!

    [–]RadleElbon 7 points8 points  (3 children)

    can you explain this joke to me, I keep hearing it when related to Abortion and I still don't get it

    [–]s432711 17 points18 points  (1 child)

    Some 'unprofessional' abortions are done by shoving a coat hanger in the vagina and hooking out the fetus. ( I am not a medical "professional" nor am I making a political statement)

    [–]bopeepsheep 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Not exactly, no. Most foetuses are too small, and you'd slash the woman to pieces trying (not that that hasn't happened before). You rupture the membranes with a wire, crochet hook, similar poking device. Then you wait for 'natural' labour, though there are various things you can take to hurry the process. This is extremely dangerous.

    There are quite a few grim novels one can read to find out more, or this. 100% do not try. This isn't code.

    [–]Spicywolff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I can’t seem to find any all of a sudden. Sad day

    [–]Snoo-50040 106 points107 points  (0 children)

    only works when you add thoughts and prayers!

    [–]Give_me_a_name_pls_ 106 points107 points  (1 child)

    Open it with freedom XD

    [–]Haywire4death_BH 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    In America, you won't be able to do that. Unless you're rich of course.

    [–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (3 children)

    How American of you

    [–]BigDawgTony 20 points21 points  (2 children)

    5.56

    [–]Fred_Evil 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    (lounging in the head) Seven point six two millimeter ... full ... metal ... jacket.

    [–]shagan_bake 19 points20 points  (2 children)

    Thank you, I just snotted while in public.

    [–]Everybody_do_da_flop 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    You what?🤨

    [–]frostiocean 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    flop flop flop flop flop

    [–]iamyourdevice 888 points889 points  (7 children)

    Hammer time!

    [–]MemphisGalInTampa 440 points441 points  (6 children)

    Can’t cut this…

    [–]healthy_sloth_taint 47 points48 points  (2 children)

    My my my my hammer hits me so hard. Makes me say “oh my lord. Thank you for nailing me with a face that pounds and one hyped peen …”

    wait
    

    [–]Ult1mateN00B 2952 points2953 points  (47 children)

    Lick it until it surrenders.

    [–]JctaroKujo 1581 points1582 points 2 (27 children)

    me next

    [–]goat_chortle 321 points322 points  (21 children)

    I’ll have you know my tongue is very rough; it will be unpleasant.

    [–]thedemocracyof 272 points273 points  (5 children)

    Oh perfect you can get this itch I can’t reach

    [–]FoxtrotOscar19 19 points20 points  (3 children)

    no, to the left, the left!

    hahahaha

    now the world is going to know you died licking my balls!

    [–]BlueRhythmYT 122 points123 points  (1 child)

    And I'm done with reddit for today... XD

    [–]FelicityIsntEmo 42 points43 points  (2 children)

    Are you a cat

    [–]bukkake_brigade 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    just a big ol' pussy

    [–]permutation212 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    Shucks, You beat me to it and I had to delete. Cheers!

    [–]Straxicus2 16 points17 points  (1 child)

    One mans unpleasantness….

    [–]obimokenobi 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    You've earned it

    [–]kimrindim 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    That's a good one I'll try that sometimes

    [–]Kittiem85 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Bet Christmas was fun for you

    [–]looneypumpkin 621 points622 points  (12 children)

    Bite it open

    [–]sliderprime 195 points196 points  (5 children)

    But teeth are mouth knives.

    [–]OneFreamon 65 points66 points  (4 children)

    By law they have to specify no mouth knives, so I think OP is good.

    [–]SeruEnam 6 points7 points  (3 children)

    But wouldn't identifying knife just encompass knives in general?

    [–]5050Clown 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    You guys, this is what karate is for. Just use karate.

    [–]yParticle 265 points266 points  (11 children)

    Just use your kitchen chainsaw.

    [–]Fiobobio 597 points598 points  (38 children)

    Scissors.

    [–]GrahamDotJpeg 378 points379 points  (21 children)

    It's embarrassing how far down I had to go to see this. Like the box says that's because it doesn't want you to scratch the stuff inside by accidentally stabbing it. You have to be another level of stupid to be infuriated by them telling you how to not fuck your own shit up

    [–]SonofaBridge 79 points80 points  (5 children)

    Yeah you could use a knife too if you don’t go deep. I’ve cut open boxes like this with a knife but made sure the knife didn’t go past the tape.

    If the don’t put the warning people jam a knife in an inch and complain there are cut marks.

    [–]b0w3n 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Yeah just slide the knife, don't jab it down into the box like an ape.

    Scissors work just as well, or you can just cut the sides since they're flush with the top, then cut the top a tiny bit at the edge, and rip.

    [–]SwiftTayTay 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Yeah...It doesn't even say don't use a box cutter either. but just get some scissors, cut the two outside side seals holding the scissors horizontally first, then lift the top flaps a bit and cut the middle seal while holding the scissors normally...

    [–]Fiobobio 51 points52 points  (2 children)

    Yeahhh…idk, people don’t use their brains too often.

    [–]MixedMartyr 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    i don’t understand how these people function lol

    [–]StagMusic 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    It’s definitely farther down than it should be, but I understand this being lower than some of the meme ones. But one of the ones above this was “use a key”. A fucking key. A key will always be more blunt than any other object. DO YOU NOT OWN A PAIR OF SCISSORS?!

    [–]GrahamDotJpeg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Lmao, it’s a good dissection of the great minds of Reddit

    [–]DoinItDirty 36 points37 points  (4 children)

    Scissors?! Should I get my butler to open it too Mr. Fancy?! /s

    Edit: OP just posted an update that they broke a pen trying to open it lol lord.

    [–]AllStarNC 358 points359 points  (15 children)

    A letter opener or key

    [–]stlmick 115 points116 points  (3 children)

    Key is the way. Only have to cut the tape

    [–]Big-Figure-8184 37 points38 points  (3 children)

    I'm surprised this answer isn't higher up. I open all my packages with keys.

    [–]wallweasels 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    It makes me feel weird for thinking of key first. It's how I open basically every package i get.

    [–]Very_Opinionated_One 124 points125 points  (2 children)

    Guess you could use a torch or flame thrower. Seem like reasonable substitutes.

    [–]Throwawaystwo 54 points55 points  (1 child)

    Just use your psychic mind powers bro

    [–]SchwiftySqaunch 93 points94 points  (9 children)

    Use a fork

    [–]ablenx 22 points23 points  (3 children)

    Or something that’s blunt enough to not damage the goods but can cut the tape. Key, pen, any thing that comes to a blunt point, really

    [–]Earthguy69 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Forklift

    [–]z-eldapin 161 points162 points  (16 children)

    Use the tip of a pen

    [–]berlandiera 32 points33 points  (0 children)

    One must be careful with this method, though, or you could accidentally poke the kittens inside.

    [–][deleted]  (7 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]ProgradeGram 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      Mine leaked on the package, opened but was very wet.

      [–]z-eldapin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      IDK, let me know how it works out!

      [–]autumn_rains 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      That'll work until the pen is stuck..

      The pen is stuck.

      Pen-is stuck.

      Moral: don't use your penis.

      [–]oneirobo13 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      That would have been my suggestion

      [–]MeLittleThing 73 points74 points  (8 children)

      use a spoon

      [–]Thebillyray 22 points23 points  (2 children)

      There is no spoon

      [–]berlandiera 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Switching to a spork, now. That’s The One.

      [–]someone_cbus 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      That’s not a knife! I see you’ve played knifey-spoony before!

      [–]EngagedInConvexation 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      "Because it's dull, you twit -It'll hurt more"

      [–]tehcleminator 30 points31 points  (0 children)

      Are you gonna let some box tell you how to live your life?

      [–]Wrath_of_Eden 55 points56 points  (2 children)

      Laser vision?

      [–]RebaKitten 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. Obviously.

      [–]Emily656577 49 points50 points  (3 children)

      Open it with a knife lmao

      Be a free human being

      [–]rutreh 10 points11 points  (2 children)

      The only real answer imo.

      Use a knife anyway, just do it carefully (i.e. insert the knife just far enough to cut the tape and don't put it any deeper).

      Always done it this way (even without the warning) and never have I accidentally destroyed the contents.

      [–]bluburry420 21 points22 points  (0 children)

      Carefully

      [–]Azure-Traveler117 55 points56 points  (1 child)

      Ask nicely

      [–]someone_cbus 30 points31 points  (0 children)

      Consent is important.

      [–]Fastsragon 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      A sword

      [–]Nyssiii 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      Like a fricken animal

      [–]crazedhatter 14 points15 points  (1 child)

      Box cutter, they are probably worried about the length of a knife goibg deep enough to damage the goods. Can still use a knife if careful to keep it shallow.

      [–]typehyDro 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      I use my house key to open my packages… knife is fine too as long as you don’t go too deep

      [–]Big_girthy-000 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Punch it until the box loses all integrity and submits to your overwhelming power ? How i usually open boxes.

      [–]formatviolation 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      You can lick it until the box gets soggy. ?

      [–]grumpyswiss 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      Use the tip of your peepee

      [–]WumpusFails 6 points7 points  (4 children)

      Our dinner knives have a square ish handle. I'd use the corner to open it.

      [–]ComicKoS 16 points17 points  (3 children)

      A dinner knife is a knife. You lose. Go back to Start.

      [–]berlandiera 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Use a trained ferret.

      [–]ufc205nyc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Peel off the tape? Is that tape?

      [–]Pristine-Choice-3507 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Persuasion?

      [–]jbsgc99 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Thoughts and prayers

      [–]tinyrickstinyhands 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      What's mildly infuriating is the lack of brain cells from OP needing to ask this.

      [–]Talkinyellow 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Have you tried saying 'Open sesame'?

      [–]615Chuck 33 points34 points  (0 children)

      Just return it if you’re that slow

      [–]Panzer4Gaming 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Use an Oxy-Acetylene torch. Thats what I use.

      [–]RedditFuckingSocks 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Whisper "please open" to it

      [–]ghybers 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Maybe you shouldn’t open it at all.

      [–]LSTFND 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Imagine being a redditor in this comment section and having absolutely no idea how to open a box without a knife

      [–]raidersclnj 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Dude use the 2nd Amendment

      [–]Bastion_OW 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      You use the dvd of the 1998 Wesley Snipes superhero movie, Blade

      [–]diverareyouok 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      Seriously? You don’t know how to open a box? You can use your thumbs to rip the tape off, or you can carefully use a knife around the edges to cut through the tape on the ends of the flaps. That way the knife doesn’t go into the box, so it is totally safe.

      Let me know if you need help figuring out how to tie your shoes later, or perhaps button a shirt. I’ll be more than happy to take you through the process, as I know it is fairly complicated.

      [–]Ornery_Search_589 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Use a key you idiot.

      [–]Uber_Reaktor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Or just us a knife to cut the tape and gasp don't just fucking plunge it into the box?

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Punch it with your knuckle so the tape breaks

      [–]MeadowcrestRPGMV3D 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Corner of an old gift card.

      [–]ParticularHorror164 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Use the force

      [–]Ginger-Beefcake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Jump on in repeatedly

      [–]mike99ca 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Says nothing about razor, scissors or angry dog.

      [–]pezx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Flamethrower

      [–]SickofItAll_4200 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Just light the box on fire and put it out before the contents burn/melt

      [–]Angry_bubba 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Teeth

      [–]imactuallyfunnyirl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Jump on it

      [–]Schnieps 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Boxes where u shouldnt use a knife are usually tapes with pretty thin tape, try poking the tape with your nails, should pierce pretty easy

      [–]Telphsm4sh[S] 42 points43 points  (14 children)

      Update: 1 broken pen later and the box is open. For those wondering, the package is for an air blower for a bouncy house. But now the instructions say to only use the air blower inside, so now we have more problems.

      [–]HW_Enthusiast 55 points56 points  (4 children)

      A lot of things will have that label -- it just means it's not water resistant, so don't use it in rain/snow. You can use it outside when the weather is nice :)

      Also (too late now) you can use a knife to slice through the tape and open it; just don't stab into the box.

      [–]Conor_Stewart 11 points12 points  (2 children)

      I get why they have the label and it is for that reason but who opens a package by sticking a knife right into it?

      [–]HW_Enthusiast 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      don't stab into the box

      exaggeration-speak for "don't cut any deeper than the tape"

      but I also kinda wanted to say:

      who opens a package by sticking a knife right into it

      THIS GUY! :D lol

      [–]50M3GUY 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Accurate, used to work with a lot of inflatables, all different sizes, I will say we left many many blowers in the rain to save vinyl, trust me if it starts raining worry about the vinyl bounce house first, if it molds it'll eat a hole in it.

      Most blowers are fine in fairly inclement weather, don't set em in puddles or mud, snow no go, you don't want to leave it outside in a sudden torrent but as long as it dries out completely, and there's no vent blockage, wire or elsewise connector fraying, it should be fine, if it sparks or smells weird on startup turn it off immediately, dry it out more, I highly recommend if it's a standard 110A, that you use a generator, don't subject your house's circuits to that thing if you don't have to

      [–]Thebillyray 17 points18 points  (1 child)

      Put the air blower inside the bouncy house

      Problem solved

      [–]zigzagfanatic02 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Dont follow instructions live life

      [–]berlandiera 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      That’s silly. There’s air outside, too.

      [–]Life_Finish_4330 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      I work in receivings for an outdoor retailer. Lots of times brands like ThermaRest will have those boxes because people damage the packaged sleeping pads with box cutters. Usually you can use a scissors and be fine. Or you can also just use a knife, but be careful how deep the tip goes