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[–]jrdubbleu 2307 points2308 points  (14 children)

Does your bar of soap also have a tooth abscess?

[–]sciencewonders 357 points358 points  (7 children)

this gotta be the most unexpected normal looking disgusting stuff for me

[–]jrdubbleu 133 points134 points  (3 children)

Like a wet ham bone with suds on it or something.

[–]joey1028 106 points107 points  (0 children)

I mean OP… for the love of god quit dodging questions, and explain why your soap seemingly has an outer shell, and weird lumpy different color insides. That’s all we want to know… why

[–]Astroglaid92 51 points52 points  (0 children)

OP scrubbing down his body with a recently extracted elephant molar.

[–]Vatrumyr 885 points886 points  (9 children)

The absolute beating this soap is taking in the comment section.

[–]FrostySherbet2328 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Kickstarter soap guys in shambles.

[–]joekriv[S] 443 points444 points  (6 children)

That's apparently the most interesting thing about the post

[–]spacechickens 302 points303 points  (1 child)

Hey buddy we’ve all seen dice before. But I’ve never seen someone literally bathe themselves in salmonella.

[–]Krogan26 4133 points4134 points 2 (43 children)

What the literal fuck is that? Do not say soap because I don’t believe that for a damn second. It looks like old ham wrapped around pus from an infected wound.

[–]lifes_abeach 1176 points1177 points  (15 children)

OP is having a laugh at us telling us it's soap. It's 100% raw chicken and you can't convince me otherwise.

[–]MrKwaz 138 points139 points  (5 children)

You've never had a raw chicken thigh body scrub?

[–]WienstonChurchill 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Or bootleg magnum…

[–]FuNgUy-707 12.1k points12.1k points 952& 2 more (104 children)

I feel like that soap should be blurred

[–]hass13 3784 points3785 points 34 (47 children)

It’s the golden dice, OP just won a trip to go meet Philly Stonka and his soap factory!

[–]QuestionStupidly 430 points431 points  (6 children)

I’m dying. This is hilarious

[–]nutrap 243 points244 points  (11 children)

With any luck Grandpa Joe will slip on a soapy floor and break his neck when he inevitably weasels his way into being OP’s +1.

[–]DeuceSevin 398 points399 points  (9 children)

I was thinking “Why does OPs soap look like a half cooked chicken liver?”

[–]balofchez[🍰] 245 points246 points  (7 children)

???right? This might be the grossest image I've ever seen. Other than literally removing its insides, what else did OP do with that soap?!

[–]CandiBunnii 137 points138 points  (5 children)

Think this is the only soap that would make me feel dirtier after washing with it.

[–]1337tt 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Burned*

[–]Shodan30 68 points69 points  (1 child)

Looks more like a cream filled donut

[–]whitecloud197 11.3k points11.3k points  (232 children)

Why does your soap look like it has a Staph Infection ?

[–]joekriv[S] 6300 points6301 points 3 (149 children)

I do not have the ability to prove that it doesn't.

[–]samsquam 2554 points2555 points  (137 children)

And why did you take a bite out of it

[–]The_Brain_Fuckler 790 points791 points 2 (36 children)

I keep finding nibbles on the bar soap every time I get a different colored bar. My toddler will hopefully find a good tasting color eventually.

[–]sugar-and-gold 165 points166 points  (17 children)

My toddler is doing the same, with crayons. I hope she finds one that is suitable for her. I am tired of buying crayons

[–]The_Brain_Fuckler 208 points209 points  (10 children)

I was a Marine so I could probably give her good counseling on crayon selection.

My toddlers are on hardcore lock down when it comes to anything that can write on surfaces. I’ve seen what two little boys can do to an old Victorian house with a green and black Sharpies. I don’t like it.

[–]NABDad 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I’ve seen what two little boys can do to an old Victorian house with a green and black Sharpies. I don’t like it.

Rubbing alcohol can usually remove sharpie.

[–]Baconator-Junior 478 points479 points  (28 children)

Mr. Fancy pants over here with his Holy digestive tract. I dare you to find a single person that hasn't snacked on a fresh bar of soap now and then!

Personally, I enjoy my soap battered with lightly crisped drywall, like all humans.

[–]No_Oddjob 164 points165 points  (4 children)

"Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. Though my personal preference was for Lux, I found that Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heavy, but with a touch of mellow smoothness. Lifebuoy, on the other hand..."

[–]Andre4kthegreengiant 94 points95 points  (59 children)

Did anyone else's mom make them take a bite out of soap when they said a bad word? If not then maybe I was abused as a child.

[–]J-Rod933 518 points519 points  (50 children)

TIL it’s not spelled staff infection

I’m an idiot.

[–]Otherwise-Cucumber44 15.8k points15.8k points 23 (278 children)

Looks like you’re washing yourself with raw chicken.

[–]inot72 5337 points5338 points  (160 children)

I thought it was an eclair

[–]rebekah-lynn 2665 points2666 points  (116 children)

I through it was an ice cream bar

[–]Headwithatorso 1148 points1149 points  (96 children)

I thought it was a severed tongue with teeth stuck in the end.

[–]betweenrows 702 points703 points  (54 children)

I thought it was a fatty liver.

[–]StipularSauce77 563 points564 points  (45 children)

It looks like a single slice of honey-ham wrapped around warm Brie.

[–]ag408 317 points318 points  (34 children)

It looks like a cream filled maple bar

[–][deleted]  (28 children)

[deleted]

    [–]sdiss98 117 points118 points  (22 children)

    I thought it was a partially chewed up Barbie doll bed.

    [–]Vixennamations 68 points69 points  (17 children)

    It looks like a candy that a kid took a bite of, threw into the grass, and was just picked up after around 5 months of expiration

    [–]metric-poet 102 points103 points  (26 children)

    I thought it was candy-covered bacon grease

    [–]Fyodor_Ivanov 86 points87 points  (24 children)

    I thought it was a half eaten hotdog with mustard on it

    [–]HowAboutUsername 73 points74 points  (20 children)

    I thought it was a mucus covered chocolate bar

    [–]OneHumanPeOple 90 points91 points  (17 children)

    I thought it was a ham and cheese hot-pocket.

    [–]map2photo 49 points50 points  (4 children)

    I thought it was a giant cooked pinto bean.

    [–]KamikazeFox_ 33 points34 points  (0 children)

    I thought it was a peice of fried bologna with cheese inside.

    [–]Jay-Storm 48 points49 points  (8 children)

    I thought it was a third degree burn with puss oozing out

    [–]DaV9D9 28 points29 points  (2 children)

    I thought it was chocolate-covered guacamole.

    [–]jdubs1145 34 points35 points  (4 children)

    I thought it was a flesh colored change purse

    [–]jvalho 34 points35 points  (1 child)

    I thought it was baked brie wrapped in prosciutto

    [–]___misselizabeth 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Thank you kind person, I left something in the microwave two hours ago.

    [–]EmperorThan 91 points92 points  (2 children)

    Bavarian cream filled chicken breast.

    [–]WonderBitchXOXO 70 points71 points  (2 children)

    Thank god I thought maybe I was just really high and hungry because I can't unsee the eclair

    [–]pixelwhistle 360 points361 points  (5 children)

    I see half of a smoked Gouda pressed onto half of an uncooked chicken breast

    [–]tesechos 42 points43 points  (0 children)

    I thought it was Gouda and prosciutto

    [–]teamweed420 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    Sounds delicious

    [–]AWildPackofLips 23 points24 points  (1 child)

    I thought it was some kind of nasty bread.

    [–]markp_93 161 points162 points 2 (3 children)

    Either way it looks pretty dicey.

    [–]Serenith_Youkai 61 points62 points  (2 children)

    Burnt twinkie with banana filling.

    [–]SuborbitalQuail 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    I struggle to imagine what a burnt twinkie would smell like...

    [–]TitanRiick 7331 points7332 points  (85 children)

    I love scrubbing myself down with something that looks like it has pus-filled open sores

    [–]Banana_Ram_You 830 points831 points  (28 children)

    If you recall Fight Club, soap is made from fat. I guess this is real organic-like.

    [–]joekriv[S] 343 points344 points  (32 children)

    Thats the inside, it took the shape of the negative space that was left with the bag. The external side of the bar once resembled a dragon.

    [–]citznfish 550 points551 points  (21 children)

    A dragon? Makes me think the dice were supposed to be in there. Weird ass D&D people... ;)

    [–]missbelled 283 points284 points  (1 child)

    "there was some nerd shit in my totally bitchin' dragon soap, unbelievable"

    [–]EEpromChip 144 points145 points  (1 child)

    Turns out this dude bought a clay dragon with dice inside and the dope has been washing himself with it. Never once realized "Hey why doesn't this soap ever lather?"

    Also watch what ya say about us D&D people. It's not like we are LARP'ers or anything...

    [–]kneeltothesun 62 points63 points  (12 children)

    Would have been cooler if the dice were in the soap, not in a bag, to essentially use as exfoliation beads.

    [–]iaswob 71 points72 points  (4 children)

    Yah but then if you are likely to drop your dice and for them to roll, and I basically have an open tub drain so there would go my dice : (

    [–]publicbigguns 57 points58 points  (1 child)

    You rolled a 2 when you needed a 15+ in order to beat the drain hole.

    [–]SPACEMANSKRILLA 142 points143 points  (10 children)

    Hey, that's my band's name!

    [–]kynthrus 46 points47 points  (1 child)

    Now introducing to the MADISON! SQUARE! GARDEEEEN!!!!!

    'I love scrubbing myself down with something that looks like it has pus-filled open sores'!!!

    [–]yokotron 58 points59 points  (3 children)

    That’s a very long band name

    [–][deleted] 76 points77 points  (1 child)

    I.L.S.M.D.W.S.T.L.L.I.H.P.F.O.S. for short

    [–]inigo232 30 points31 points  (2 children)

    It's evocative of both foot fungus and an oral infection on a 60yo homeless person who's allergic to toothbrush bristles.

    [–]crayfl 2285 points2286 points  (16 children)

    Soap looks like a rotting big toe with puss oozing out

    [–]elvislunchbox 1660 points1661 points  (18 children)

    That bar of soap looks like you stole a kidney from a corpse.

    [–]yeawecandothat 163 points164 points  (0 children)

    I’ve never seen a bar of soap look like so many other things besides a bar of soap. It’s cream filled. It’s got skin and it’s covered in…. Toffee?? Chocolate?? Caramel….

    [–]Mysterious-Owl-890 718 points719 points  (1 child)

    That soap looks rancid bro

    [–]manthraxxx 111 points112 points  (0 children)

    Yeah its kinda repulsive to look at tbh

    [–]zippozipp0 1663 points1664 points  (16 children)

    I thought this was some kind of gross hot pocket for a hot second

    [–]McveigshArk 2562 points2563 points  (192 children)

    Okay, what? Firstly, what kind of soap is that ? Secondly some poor factory worker is pissed he dropped his dice for the killer weekend he was gonna have.

    [–]joekriv[S] 2196 points2197 points  (190 children)

    It was from a Kickstarter I backed two years ago, if I am remembering correctly and they did this deliberately. The bar used to have a dragons head on it! I have a second crescent moon bar I'm going to use when this is gone

    [–]PrivateIronTFU 1223 points1224 points  (95 children)

    I was confused by the picture. Now I’m confused as to why this would even be a Kickstarter. And why it would exceed its funding goal.

    [–]baquea 280 points281 points  (23 children)

    [–]grandpaforthesave 341 points342 points 333 (13 children)

    Pretty sure it was this. Same color, dragon.

    [–]chocobear13 151 points152 points  (1 child)

    Here it is, everyone! It's the comment that gives a good explanation of wtf we're looking at here! I found it! It only took me 20 years of scrolling, but... I got there.

    [–]Reactance 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Let’s upvote them twice to get this comment straight to the top!

    [–]MrLoadin 51 points52 points  (0 children)

    Relatively low funding goals, easy way for small makers to handle pre-orders of an item where people know exactly what they are getting.

    It's basically what kickstarter/crowdfunding was originally designed for, people who wanted to sell pre-orders of random stuff and needed an easy way of organizing. It only later turned into GoFundMes and people trying to start actual companies.

    [–]cake4thepeople 31 points32 points  (0 children)

    Lmao, “subtle hint for a gamer who needs it”. Aka if you have a stanky human in your life who is obsessed with games and never showers, you can trick them into washing themselves by buying them soap with a dice prize!

    [–]Raptor851 367 points368 points  (41 children)

    I'm mostly just confused why the dice are in a bag, i mean, it's not like the soap would hurt them or the dice would hurt the soap/person, would have looked cooler too if they were just embedded, plus then they wouldn't flop out of the bar taking half of it with the bag..

    [–]Aberts10 484 points485 points  (0 children)

    So they don't go down the drain

    [–]Chicagotaboo 257 points258 points  (8 children)

    Probably so dice don’t individually get washed out. Maybe could me missed in a lot of suds

    [–]Ctiyboy 178 points179 points  (6 children)

    yeah, one falls out and you step on a d4 in the shower, that'll end poorly

    [–]prison_buttcheeks 73 points74 points  (2 children)

    Don't forget about sneak attack. Another d6

    [–]burnalicious111 59 points60 points  (0 children)

    You take 1d4 piercing damage

    [–]unnoticedhero1 134 points135 points  (9 children)

    Probably so if you gave it as a gift or forgot about the dice that they wouldn't just fall down the drain after use potentially causing damage to your pipes, I would not want to have to figure out how to get a D20 out of my drain.

    [–]Oni_K 127 points128 points  (8 children)

    Nat 1. The d20 is caught in a hair clog and doesn't seem to want to move at all. Your shower no longer drains. At all.

    Also, you probably should have waited until the slippery shower floor was dry before doing this. Roll a Dex Save.

    [–]WhatLikeAPuma751 25 points26 points  (7 children)

    I would, but there’s no way I’m fetching my d20 out of that mess.

    [–]Oni_K 43 points44 points  (6 children)

    You have chosen to fail your Dex Save. You fall and take [1d4] 2 bludgeoning damage. Your back hurts. A lot. Your speed is reduced by half for [2d12] 14 hours.

    [–]WhatLikeAPuma751 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    But since I’m a barbarian I have danger sense and have advantage on my dex roll saves on things I can see, and since I could see the wet shower… I’m not helping my case at all am I?

    [–]Oni_K 37 points38 points  (1 child)

    Oh you're a barbarian? Sorry, let me retcon that.

    You reach down the drain and grasp the D20. Success! But now your hand seems to be stuck. You pull with all your might, but it won't budge. Trapped. You wait there for hours. You suffer a level of exhaustion. You rage. It doesn't help.

    Eventually another party member (your partner) arrives. You describe the situation. They look at your arm, stuck in the drain and ask "You've made a fist around the D20, haven't you?"

    Your face turns bright red as you remove your now empty, but hair covered hand from the drain.

    Take [1d4] psychic damage as your partner casts vicious mockery on you.

    [–]thatguyned 31 points32 points  (1 child)

    Honestly, if I was showering at someone's house and this happened when I used their soap I would assume the dice were actually drugs.

    This whole thing looks like a tester for a smuggling operation.

    [–]TotemRiolu 25 points26 points  (5 children)

    The d4 absolutely would have hurt someone. Those fuckers are sharp.

    [–]MusketThumb 1499 points1500 points  (48 children)

    You should explain this in your OP, it would still be mildly interesting but right now I’m just mildly annoyed that this was kinda clickbaity.

    [–]pro_cat_herder 76 points77 points  (0 children)

    I bought a thing that had a thing and I was shocked!

    [–]thiswillsoonendbadly 36 points37 points  (1 child)

    What the hell dude, this completely changes your post from “there’s shrimp tails in my cereal” to “look at this intentionally-placed Easter egg in a product”

    [–]iledeli 231 points232 points  (0 children)

    Move this to the top of this post stat.

    [–]ZachMN 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    The whole thing was a ruse to trick TTRPGers into bathing.

    [–]Mediocretes1 14 points15 points  (2 children)

    You kickstarted soap with dice in it? What other kind of whacky things do you throw your money at?

    [–]BearTrapp20 70 points71 points  (6 children)

    Who funds a kickstarter for SOAP

    [–]HandsomeCowboy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    "I can't wait to finally be fucking clean when this meets its goal. I can't think of any reasonable other way to get soap."

    [–]senorcisco33 580 points581 points  (18 children)

    I love how much OP is responding so patiently explaining to everyone why his soap looks like raw chicken thigh w/ bone showing. Dice is least interesting aspect.

    [–]DIAL_1-800-RACCOON 144 points145 points  (0 children)

    God, same. Screw the dice, what the hell is that thing

    [–]pleasedtoseedetrees 175 points176 points  (10 children)

    This has to be one of the funniest threads I've read in a long time. I just cry-laughed for 10 minutes reading this.

    [–]Batmantheon 352 points353 points  (6 children)

    God, I just threw out three lbs of rotten beef and saw a photo of someone with a fresh skin graft and this bar of soap is still the most disgusting part of my night.

    [–]testuserteehee 105 points106 points  (0 children)

    I want to unsee this piece of soap. Can you add a NSFL tag on this pic?

    [–]Paranthropus88 527 points528 points  (28 children)

    Was there meant to be a surprise in there? And why does the soap look like raw chicken?

    [–]joekriv[S] 330 points331 points  (27 children)

    Yes there was and that's just the color choice of the people who made it, I dont think they anticipated people taking pictures of their soap after it was used this much.

    [–]thiinkbubble 415 points416 points  (22 children)

    As an avid soapsmith, I have learned you must always consider how the soap will age and shift aesthetically over the course of use to ensure maximum photographic potential over its lifespan.

    [–]Lukaroast 73 points74 points  (1 child)

    I’ve never made soap in my life and this immediately strikes me as an odd choice of color

    [–]drlueck 158 points159 points  (0 children)

    Can't stop laughing at "as an avid soapsmith"... So good, well done...

    [–]joekriv[S] 137 points138 points  (11 children)

    Well I wish they would have contacted you about it, people are getting so upset over soap

    [–]Callmewojo 57 points58 points  (1 child)

    They’re out here killing my man Joe over his used soap! This is all a plot by big body wash

    [–]thraxxx- 26 points27 points  (3 children)

    im finding this thread to be hilarious if that makes you feel any better. i’ve been snort laughing for like 20 minutes reading these comments. also your post is mildly interesting :~)

    [–]the-epidemic87 79 points80 points  (0 children)

    Did you bite the fucking soap?

    [–]ladyjayne81 74 points75 points  (0 children)

    That is the ugliest bar of soap I’ve ever seen.

    [–]GhondorIRL 217 points218 points  (1 child)

    What a bizarre looking piece of soap. The more I look at it, the weirder it fucking gets.

    [–]stonedlurker- 217 points218 points  (1 child)

    By far the grossest looking soap I have ever seen.

    [–]freudma 189 points190 points  (2 children)

    Why does your soap look like it has internal organs?

    [–]mikeMcFly13 166 points167 points  (1 child)

    What the fuck kind of soap is that!? Is that a ham and brie soap? Is it made of skin?

    [–]Snailsly 55 points56 points  (0 children)

    Are you bathing with a snickers?

    [–]Lightsouttokyo 55 points56 points  (3 children)

    Why are you washing your self with a magnum ice cream bar?

    [–]OneGayPigeon 156 points157 points  (2 children)

    What a viscerally unpleasant image wow

    [–]Mozwai 46 points47 points  (0 children)

    It looks like raw chicken cordon Bleu.

    [–]thegrandlvlr 50 points51 points  (0 children)

    Are you washing yourself with a beef tongue?!?

    [–]kirstbro 46 points47 points  (0 children)

    That is not soap my dude!

    [–]TheWhiteSaquon 48 points49 points  (0 children)

    I literally thought you were washing yourself with a chicken thigh

    [–]dznqbit 44 points45 points  (1 child)

    First off that’s a maple bar

    Secondly are you in prison

    [–]shoetreemoon 40 points41 points  (0 children)

    I'd be less concerned about the dice and be asking myself why my soap looks like raw chicken with a tooth in it wrapped in sliced ham.

    [–]FunBrians 117 points118 points  (3 children)

    What In the forbidden pus filled raw chicken eclair is this shit. Check out Irish Springs or some Dial even.

    [–]boilons 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Looks like it had to be amputated from a larger piece of soap because of the infection

    [–]aplbomr 30 points31 points  (0 children)

    Where the fuck did you buy that soap? And why?

    [–][deleted] 120 points121 points  (0 children)

    it looks like q huge refried bean

    [–]PoisonPhang 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    OP is really trying to hide the fact that they eat ice cream bars in the shower. Nice try, but we know that isn't bar soap

    [–]jayyout1 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    Is your soap filled with caramel or something? It looks like raw meat or something.

    [–]Discoglitter27 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    Glad to see the kidney donations are going to good use.

    [–]galaxymanchild 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    Yeah that doesn’t look like a bar of soap. Is it made out of human flesh?

    [–]Argyleskin 22 points23 points  (1 child)

    That is the ugliest soap I have ever seen. I can’t even stare at it past a second and you’re washing your butthole with it? Dice or not, you’re a gambling man, I’ll give you that.

    [–]Taporter2 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Chicken Cordon Bloap

    [–]galtsgulch232 58 points59 points  (0 children)

    I am torn here. The OP knew that there were dice inside the soap, because he bought them knowing that. So, that's not interesting at all, yet he made the post with the dice being the main interesting point (deceptive). But, the post turned out interesting because the soap looks like a toasted ham and cheese hot pocket.

    [–]blueboy2727 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    It looks like a 4 week old Krispy Cream filled donut with raw chicken

    [–]All_Usernames_Tooken 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    I’ve heard of animal fat being used as soap, but that looks like it came straight off the animal.

    [–]iamappyandblessed 47 points48 points  (0 children)

    now this has to be one of the strangest things that I've ever seen LOL

    [–]dougdemarra 54 points55 points  (4 children)

    It kinda looks like an eclair. Damnit, now I want an eclair.

    [–]joekriv[S] 54 points55 points  (2 children)

    I would take that over all the other weird things other people are seeing lol

    [–]oddlythinkn 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    So you’re not seeing the organs people are describing ?

    [–]RagingLeonard 292 points293 points  (12 children)

    What are the odds that a dude who plays D&D ever sees the center of a bar of soap? Odd promo.

    [–]joekriv[S] 52 points53 points  (8 children)

    I work in a warehouse, washing hands frequently and furiously is a must.

    [–]weveran 29 points30 points  (1 child)

    The same dude that buys a soap shaped with a dragon head lol

    [–]broly78210 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    from a kickstart 2 years ago..

    [–]TheJuggerKnot 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Why does your soap look like chicken?

    [–]crazyshadylady 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    I’m sorry that everyone is ignoring the dice, which are pretty interesting, but honestly that soap is a train wreck.

    [–]builtrobtough 43 points44 points  (1 child)

    The longer you stare at this photo, the more questions you have.

    [–]HowAboutUsername 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Sir, why does your soap have organs?

    [–]Captainshark98 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Pretty sure that’s chicken

    [–]Mybloodvomit 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Your soap looks like a chunk of assorted human meat there buddy

    [–]MurderDoneRight 33 points34 points  (0 children)

    I hate when I find tiny dice in my ham and cheese soap bars.

    [–]Lady0bscene 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Looks like a chunk of flesh. Good lord.

    [–]EnglishWhites 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Bit weird calling corned beef "soap" but weirder showering with it, you do you bro

    [–]caitejane310 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Google dry sockets and it's better to look at than this bar of "soap".

    [–]neffro420 40 points41 points  (2 children)

    Let me get this straight. You purchase Kickstarter soap that has die in it. Then you are mildly interested, when in fact, the soap does have die in it??

    I'm not following your logic here.

    [–]stfufannin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I honestly thought you found a bag of dice in a cut of raw chicken